Chapter 9
Mad Max Fury Rip-Off, Part 2

Now where we last left off, our heroes were traveling to Big Sky Mountain Village until they get ambushed by a bunch of assholes that want them dead or...something worse. They get ambushed by the Triple K, Bandits from Borderlands, Meninists, and the Tainted Coil from Brutal Legend. They first try to go after the caravan, but then they all try to attack each other with bombs, RPGs, machineguns, throwing spears, kamikazi midgets, pistol shots and a lot of other things that turned the freeway into a chaotic mess with many dead bodies, destroyed machine parts and wrecks behind. Yet there is another faction that is gonna join in.

Tsuki looks at the radar and says, "Heads up! Those other guys are coming in!"

J.H. speaks over the phone, "Great." he says in a sarcastic tone, "So who else is joinin' us in this fuck fest?"

Coming in are a bunch of vehicles that look like they do come from an a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Many of the people driving them consists of people covered in white powder with some gray clay pigments around the eyes and mouth and look like they are drugged up and hyped for what they are about to do. Including this one truck with a lot of speakers on it with one guy that is deformed while wearing some red rags with one leg having some boot with straps on it while the other leg is exposed to reveal his white pale skin and wearing a skull mask. He is also playing a custom-made guitar as he plays it despite being blind with both eyeballs gone. Yes, this is the Coma-Doof Warrior. And yes, this is the War Boys/Cult of the V8 coming in.

In the Dodge Charger 1971 'Caltrop no.1', one of them happily screams, "WHAT A DAY! WHAT A LOVELY DAY!"

In the 7500, Jack goes, "Soo... We're now under attack by Mad Max: Fury Road?"

Richie says, "Oh, I loved that movie." Then he realizes, "Oh shit."

Carly pulls out a shotgun, "Yeah, I- Wait, I thought those guys only exist in Australia. Do all Mad Max movies take place in Australia?"

"They do, actually." Muammar says as he tries to pick some form of bombs to use in his HUD.

"Then why are they here?"

Everyone just shrug with their arms up 'cause they have no idea why would an Australian marauding cult be doing on American soil. Except Uma, who is driving.

Then Tsuki says, "And we have more shit coming at us."

Coming in from the west, there are strange people that look like life-size action figures. Which they are and riding in whatever post-apocalyptic vehicle that matches their themes. So there is a turkey with a red mohawk riding on a motorcycle while also wearing a leather jacket along with an ammo belt and metal shoulder pads. A motorcycle with a sidecar with the driver being a guy wearing a white sheet, being a Halloween ghost, with a red bandana. That, and he has chains on his torso. In the sidecar, that has a shark's face painted on it, is someone wearing a Jack-o-lantern mask with a black hood and cloak. There is a cupid with his wings replaced with miniature jet engines and is armed with a crossbow while also being bald and wearing an eye patch over his right eye. A shirtless, hatless Uncle Sam using the American flag as a cape while driving a dusty old ford with painted stars and stripes. Yet there is also a chaingun on the hood of the car and those bulldozer piece things with spikes on the front. Dragging behind is some sort of cartoonish tree action figure riding on a unicycle as he tries to catch-up. Yet the most strangest is a wooden carriage-like vehicle with spikes on a cylinder top and back along with six wooden reindeer silhouettes on the front. This vehicle is driven by a very muscular Santa Clause with a metal hockey mask, a red sash cris-crossed with a metal ring with jingle bells, his Santa hat, and having red boots with white fluff on the rims.

"Ho-ho-ho!" the Santa went as it whips the wooden reindeer over his mic.

Jeb looks over from the rear door of the van and goes, "Is that...the holiday characters from Robot Chicken's Holiday Road Warriors?"

The entire caravan just comes to a complete stop as everything just went pass them because they are too busy trying to kill each other. Uncle Sam fires a rocket at one of the Bandit's trucks that cause one of them to be flung. One Bandit sees the opportunity and slash the head off of his fellow raider.

"YEE-HAA!" the guy went as he does a wheelie with his motorcycle. "Oh wait. I think I just killed Billy. Oops." Then gets shot in the head by one of Cupid's arrows.

Everyone in the caravan just gawks and are confused on what the hell is going on with the chaos still going on in front of them.

Back to that chaotic, high-speed war; a member of the Triple K looks at Uncle Sam with an RPG, but just couldn't fire.

He sighs, "Dammit! I can't kill Uncle Sam! He's an American icon!"

But Uncle Sam fires his gun at the jeep and kill all four members of the Triple K. As Uncle Sam drives by the wreck, "Fuck you, assholes!" he flips the bird, "You guys are no longer American!"

The Arbor Day Tree tries to catch-up, but gets sliced in half by the bumper of the jeep flying at him. Santa Clause fires a rocket from his wooden sleigh carriage and destroys one of the Bandits' vehicles. One comes flying off as one of his buddies on a motorcycle comes in and slice the guy's head off.

"HELL YEAH!" he cheers but realizes, "Wait. I think I just killed Billy. Oops!" he looks back, "I'm a team killing fucktard." But gets killed by one of Cupid's arrows.

A truck full of War Boys then started to attack the Thanksgiving Turkey with their sticks. But the Turkey grabbed one of them, yank one that cause one guy to fall, and stick it in one of the rear tires. This cause the truck to swerve out of control that crashed right into a Tainted Coil chariot and explodes. But one of the Bandits shot the front tire and cause him to crash. The front tire then crashes into a windshield of the Triple K car and killed the driver. Causing the car to swerve into a few Bandits, Taited Coil, War Boys and other Triple K into one big giant mess of wrecks and bodies that stretch for almost a mile. Some managed to survive yet severely injured that they might die at any minute. So now the freeway is a huge mess of wrecks, bodies, blood, plastic/clay bodies, fake blood from those plastic/clay bodies, oil and gasoline set on fire, and many, many car parts.

Back at the caravan, everyone just watch the massive battle of speed going further and further away and have no idea what to make of it as they just look at it slack-jaw at the carnage of bodies and metal.

"Sooo..." Jack speaks, "Did they just ignore us and go ahead and kill each other?"

Muammar heads to the fridge, "Sa'ahtaj 'iilaa mashrub."
Translation: "I'm gonna need a drink."

Uma looks at Muammar, "We have beer?"

Richie says while holding an M41, "Wait, we have beer?"

Muammar says, "No, just cactus juice with a hint of aloe and banana yucca."

"I love banana yucca." Jack says as he sees Muammar going through the fridge, "I'll have some."

"I'm parched myself." Richie would like some.

Jose speaks over the phone, "I would amor some."

"Same here!" Liga speaks.

"Can we get lunch with it?" Tsuki asks, "Watashi wa onaka ga suite imasu."
Translation: "I'm starving."

Jeb says to Tsuki, "Y'know, that is quite the mouthful to say that you're hungry in your language."

"Yeah, I'm hungry too." J.H. is hungry as well. "Let's eat."

Carly just look out the windshield at the mess ahead before looking back at the group, "So are we just gonna ignore everything that just happened? I think it might still be going on. I mean, we had racist assholes attacking us, demons, bandits, more bandits and holiday mascots ripping off the style of one of the other bandits. Are we seriously gonna just forget that it ever happened?" But everyone has already exited. "Just talk to yourself, Carly. It's not a sign of ignorance."

But due to the bad smell from everything, they decided to have their juice and have lunch further away so they won't lose their lunch. And so, they head out and try to head further up the road as they travel on the other lane to avoid the massive wreck pile on the road. They keep on traveling and find that the battle has stretched far through the freeway as far as they can see, for those that aren't inside of something with a lack of windows. Tsuki is busy checking the net to see if there are any new developments around the world in her trailer. Liga and Jose are checking things out too in their van with Jose taking a few sips from his juice before checking the news. Muammar is busy analyzing statistics of human survivability if something really, really bad were to happen. Jack is teaching Richie and Carly on philosophy and some programming skills.

They continue on as they pass by more debris, wrecks and bodies along with some new things they found. The battle continued with more factions added to the chaos such as the Banished from Halo with plenty of Brute bodies and destroyed Specters and Ghosts scattered about along with Authority from Rage & Rage 2, Gearheads also from Rage, the Ronin and Westside Rollerz from Saints Row, and carcasses of gigantic beasts of unknown origin rotting away on the freeway.

"Yikes." Uma says while driving, "Hate to meet the guys that killed those monsters."

Richie says, "How about we pulled over and have lunch in the 7500 instead?"

"We could, but we might wanna avoid all this mess because it might attract more zombies."

"Good point."

Jack says, "Well I tried to conjure up a spaceship, but nothin'. Unless we could try creating a dimensional portal to phase out of this reality."

Muammar suggests, "How about two people give it a try?"

Jack thinks about it for a moment before answering, "Could work."

Everyone pulls over before Muammar and Jack exits out to try. However, they hear a a loud warcry coming from behind with the sound of a thousand engines. All ten of them look behind and see a huge fleet of motorcycles coming in and approaching fast. Many of these motorcycles have sidecars that have either machineguns, rocket launchers, or whatever they found along the road. Many of them are wearing different outfits comprised of parts of whatever pieces of outfits they have scrapped together while carrying any weapons they found ranging from shambled makeshift crap to advance alien tech. Behind them is an extremely large vehicle with a large metal skull on the front with speakers and headlights for eyes while the inside of the skull's mouth is comprised of buzzsaws and grinders that creates deafening sounds that can be heard from a mile away. The vehicle itself is over twenty feet tall with the sides being as large as half the size of a football field, gigantic tires, metal plating, and massive guns aimed at all directions. By massive guns, I mean all sorts of guns from bullets, cannons and plasma cannons. After seeing that, the two went back inside and the caravan moves again.

This new faction seem to have crazy looks in their eyes as they ride towards our heroes as they open fire at them. Yet thanks to their new psychic abilities, they shield all three vehicles. Many rockets, heavy caliber bullets and plasma projectiles are fired at the three vehicles but get deflected by the shields. So many of them drive closer and closer with all the melee weapons they got to try to pierce through the shields. Yet when one of the bikers try stabbing with a katana, he gets stab in the head...by his own sword. Turns out that the shield does more than deflect projectiles. If anything tries to get up close and attack, the weapon effects the attacker.

J.H. says with a big smile, "Thank you Red Dwarf and the invention of the Justice Field!"

Liga says over the phone, "Glad Jack showed us those old British sci-fi comedies. Combining that with the force shield is incredible!"

Tsuki sounds happy, "And with our powers, we are untouchable!"

A few of the bikers try swinging a few chains with whatever weapons they have at the end. Spike balls, makeshift blades, metal balls and whatever else they can attach to them and fling them at J.H.'s truck. But the weapons fling back at them, striking them all down through their skulls. Jeb then opens the door to fire his railgun, laughing all the way. Laughing like a mechanical madman as he fires.

Liga says to everyone, "Jeb is off his medication, again."

Jose just says, "Ah let him have his fun. He just love his inventions working and functioning properly."

"Like that one time when he made a toaster/microwave combo?"

"Yep."

Muammar adds, "And that new garbage disposal for the kitchen that can eat through bone and metal."

J.H. adds in, "And the jetpack he made by compressing air and turn it into burnable fuel."

"That one's actually mine." Jose corrects J.H. "Except that it exploded after two hours of flight. Thank goodness for the inflammable flight suit."

Jack adds in, "That, and nearly blew-up a barn."

"OH SHIT!" Jeb yells, "הדבר הענק הזה מתקרב!" and shuts the door.
Translation: "That giant thing is getting closer!"

The giant skull truck is getting closer as the bikers move out of the way as the jaw becomes a ramp in order to scoop up the caravan. Yet no one is afraid as the giant truck absorbing the vehicles they are in as they get sucked in. Once inside, the skull truck started to breakdown as all the gears and saws in the mouth get destroyed by the shields as the three vehicles exit out through the back like they got eaten and immediately crapped out. The giant truck started to explode from the inside out as fire started to show on the sides and top with a great amount of smoke. After three minutes, the truck explodes into a billion pieces and leaving a crater on the freeway with what is left of the truck being a wreck.

Muammar laughs, "Alan hdha ma 'usmayh earad al'aleab alnaariat. Thank you, Allah!"
Translation: "Now that's what I call a fireworks display."

Tsuki says, "Mōichido yari nasai, watashi wa mimasendeshita!"
Translation: "Do it again, I didn't see!"

Jose exhales in relief, "Gracias, Santa María, por ayudarnos."
Translation: "Thank you, Saint Maria, for getting us through."

Liga goes, "Yea-ha-ha! That's one way to deal with big bosses! Cheating!"

Jeb sighs in relief with a sound of dropping his railgun, "Go raibh maith agat, a Íosa, as seo a fháil."
Translation: "Thank you, Jesus, for getting through this."

Uma claps her hands a few times, "Woo! Ab yah kaise ho gaya!"
Translation: "Now that's how it's done!"

Carly is not exactly cheering or anything like that, but says, "Now that was insane."

Richie looks out the window, "Uhh, guys? I think we should take a rain check on our celebration. Because those bikers are more pissed off then ever!"

The rest of the bikers are coming right at them and roar and howl like animals as they try to kill them...assuming they can get pass the shields. And so, the caravan tries to speed-up and get to anywhere that is safe while using their powers to out speed motorcycles. They are moving very fast as they traveled through miles to get to Buffalo.

When they do arrive, the place seem to have a massive wall made of metal with large artillery guns on certain areas. Good news is that there are still people and is fortified. The artillery guns aim at the freeway towards the caravan and bikers. Ten of them fire their cannons with artillery shells destroying everything but the caravan, thanks to the shields. The bikers get obliterated into atoms by the large explosions that wipe out over sixty percent of what was left that didn't get killed by the shields or Jeb's railgun. Leaving large craters where the shelling hit. The rest just up and scurry off back to the freeway.

Uma radios the town, "Thanks for the assist, boys! They were a pain in the ass."

A male voice speaks, "You're welcome." It sounded a bit gruff and battle harden, "Come on in and prepare to be processed."

The gate opens and they went in.

As they went in, Richie asks, "Any idea on who were those guys?"

AN: Hey everyone! Glad to be back...for anyone that are fans of this. Hope you enjoyed the new chapter and hope you guys are being safe. Anyway, the forum I made will close after some time pass when The Rising of the Post-Apocalyptic Hero ends. Here is the link for it:

/topic/230469/182694898/1/

Until then, stay healthy and safe. And good luck.