I am back on it with my 90s music, woohoo! Yay me! I'm finally keeping to the actual theme of using nineties music that came from brilliant films. The nineties truly were the best times for movies. Especially rom-coms. This song is ICONIC! Unchained Melody from Ghost (1990). If you haven't seen Ghost then what the hell are you doing? It has Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze and a sad love story. WATCH IT!
Anyway, anyone who cares knows the deal here. I do not own THG, any of its cast or wonderful characters. I also don't own the song that you'll see the lyrics of, or the movies they belong to.
Light In The Dark
'Oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch, a long, lonely time...'
Opening her eyes slowly, Katniss sighs, cuddling into the soft sheets of her bed, inhaling the soft scent of her detergent. She loved waking up on the day after clean sheets day the most, but not until after Peeta had recommended the best laundry detergent she'd ever smelt, and every morning felt like that time she woke up in his bed.
She had felt more warm and sated than she ever had that morning, cuddling up in a ball of the sheets, his smell surrounding her as she'd woken up from the best sleep she'd had in years.
Unfortunately, most of her nights haven't gone that way, and even with a similar scent surrounding her, she wakes up most nights screaming in terror. There are some things that nothing can change, and to her dismay this seems like one of those things.
Today, she couldn't afford to cuddle into her sheets and dream, for too much longer, as she had to get up and get dressed for her first day.
She was terrified.
Admittedly, not as terrified as she had been a couple of days previously at the party Finnick and Annie had thrown for her. She was nowhere near even close to having a panic attack like she did that night, and she was still frightfully embarrassed of what happened.
It was only made worse when her friends had apologised.
Her ex was right; she truly is the worst person in the world. She made two people feel awful about themselves and something they did when they had done the nicest thing anyone had ever done for Katniss. No one did nice things for Katniss Everdeen, and now she understood why. She didn't deserve it. Not with the way she reacted.
Clambering out of bed, she tries to ignore the horrible shame that takes her over in knowing what she did was wrong. She couldn't control it, the bile had just risen in her throat and she had felt like she couldn't breathe. So she'd run to the nearest toilet and thrown up the contents of her stomach, she'd sobbed into Peeta's arms for what felt like hours, and then he'd taken her home before she could realise how truly shameful what she did was.
Peeta says there was nothing to be embarrassed about, that Finnick and Annie understood even though Katniss is one hundred percent certain they will never truly understand.
The last time she had felt this bad about herself, the last time she had felt like she was truly nothing and the last time she had considered just upping and running away before she had to face the music was when she ran from home. When her mother and sister had found out what was happening to her and she had been so humiliated, so horrified by the looks in their eyes and their empty, sympathetic faces, she had run so far. She had no clue what was happening at home, whether or not they even still cared or even if her ex-no he's still her husband- was looking for her.
Gale Hawthorne.
They had met when she was only sixteen, young and naïve and so, so tired of holding everything together, of being the strong one and looking after her family, of having to be a mother to Prim and having to mother her own mother, the woman who was meant to look after her. She was just so tired, and getting sick from the stress on her shoulders, and he just made it better. He made things better by helping her hunt and giving her his own game that he couldn't afford to lose.
He was sweet, and patient, kind and gentle. He was everything a teenage girl hopes to find, especially a teenage girl who was so desperate for help and for someone to take care of her she'd take anything going.
Prim had adored him, as had her mother despite the fact she barely spoke, and within a few months the pair had become what she thinks people now call 'an item', though she isn't sure. They kissed and held hands, sure, but never moving any further, and he was so patient about it, always assuring her that they could move at their own pace, it didn't matter to him.
Except, a year in, he changed.
It was slow progressing at first. That's the common misconception about those kinds of situations, people think that it's like a switch was flicked and all of a sudden she was being thrown around the room like a ragdoll, that she made hundreds of trips to hospitals in days. It's not like that; it's not that way at all.
At first, it was subtle comments, things she wouldn't even consider to be nasty and would normally take as a joke, because she had known he was a person who loved to wind her up and make her go mad with his jokes. She had even liked that about him, because he made her less serious, he made her laugh. She thought that's all the jibes were, ill-timed jokes that he didn't mean.
It was such little things, like pointing out that she shouldn't wear a certain top because he was afraid of other men seeing her and thinking they could try something on with her, he was afraid of losing her, and she had understood. She would feel the same way, she convinced herself. He would then tell her what he liked, what he thought was appropriate, but he would make it so that she could make the choice but his opinion was clear, and she couldn't see the emotional blackmail at the time.
But then, he had changed his main issue with her, and told her that her hair was too long, told her that he was scared that she could be walking down the street at night and someone would grab her by her braid and pull her back. So she had cut her hair, even if it was to only ease his worried mind.
She had other friends in the district, people she traded with, and Gale had told her it was embarrassing for him, seeing his girlfriend 'flirt' with other men, and she had limited her interactions, wanting to make him happy, and when she would go, he would accompany her. If he were busy, she wouldn't go. But then, he would ask her how she had so much money, as he thought he knew how much she earned but 'maybe he didn't know, maybe she was selling more than game' and she had allowed him to go instead of her, to count how much she made just so he knew she would never cheat on him.
Before long, she just stopped going out. She was so busy anyway, what with him always being over her home, and he had said it was always messy, so she was always tidying. It kept her busy at home so it was fine. It kept him happy, and relationships were all about compromise or so she heard.
The first time he had ever laid a hand on her was during an argument, and at the time she had convinced herself it was all her fault. She was too pushy, she wanted to go out and night and she knew how he felt about it, she was argumentative and stubborn, she was bossy and overbearing, he deserved better and he was just keeping her in line. She deserved to be hit that time, and it wasn't even hard, it was just a slap across the cheek. He apologised after, mistakes happen.
He had asked her to move in with him a few days after, and she was so happy that he still wanted her; he thought she was worth moving in with, that she hadn't messed everything up. So she had agreed, still sending money to her mother- who was slowly but surely getting better, having Gale's help on their side, having a man in the house- and Prim. Her mother had even gone back to work, and Gale still allowed Prim to come to the home as often as she liked.
Until he didn't like it any longer, Prim was coming over too much and he thought it was time for the siblings to finally 'cut the chord', to stop living in one another's back pockets. Katniss had agreed, not that she had much of a choice in the matter, she didn't want to push back and upset him again, she knew that he always had a temper and she didn't want to cause an argument that was all her fault again. So, she had told Prim she was too busy all the time. She lied and said she had needed to get a paying job because Gale's work as a mechanic hadn't picked up yet.
Prim had believed it, as what reason did Katniss have to lie to her little sister? But, to make her lie believable, Gale allowed for her to get a part time job, only a few hours a week but doing whatever she wanted- though he had to approve. The small amount of freedom was enough to make her weep, and she had accepted the first job she was offered to work in a small diner in Twelve.
He had berated her for it. He told her she couldn't get another job because everyone in town knew how insolent she was, he told people how stubborn and reckless she was, how she hunted illegally. No one wanted her. She was lucky she had him otherwise she'd be selling herself on the streets, Prim would too, her mother as well. They needed Gale to survive.
Once, she had cried to him, telling him how it felt like everyone was staring at her because of his words. But, instead of comforting her and making her feel better, he had grabbed her by her wrists and yanked her up from the couch, screaming in her face about how she was such a brat for making him feel bad when he was the one who had to live with her, had to be around her. He had hit her for the second time that night, throwing her to the floor before chucking a blanket beside her and told her she had to sleep there, as he couldn't stand the sight of her.
She did. Katniss didn't want to upset him again, and she had been so selfish in complaining to the one person who said he was on her side, who kept a roof over her head, who helped protect Prim. So she forgave him again.
When it happened again, and again, and again, she always forgave him. He always came back to her with apologies and crying, telling her she just angered him and he had a bad day at work, telling her that someone had made a comment about him being with a 'slut like her' and it angered him so much he just had to make her see. So she forgave him, because she didn't have any other choice and he was good to her, for the most part.
And then he wasn't even that.
Every word he would say to her would be insults, whether it be about her uniform for work or how frigid she was, or how he was such an idiot for being with someone as disgusting, as ugly, as fat as her. So she lost weight, she kept her hair the way he liked it, she wore more make up, and she tried harder. She finally let him into her bed for more than sleeping, knowing that it had to happen at some point and so why not now?
It was awful. She hadn't enjoyed it, and he had screamed at her the day after their first time for being so still, for being so unresponsive and for not getting him off well enough. He had pressed her into the kitchen counter and hiked her skirt to her hips; intent on showing her how he wanted to be pleasured.
She forgave him after that too. It was her fault that she couldn't get into it, and that's why he couldn't enjoy it. She could accept it because she had known she was terrible at it. Anything to make him happy, to make him gentler or so he wouldn't hit her, it was getting so hard to cover the bruises and the first time someone noticed at work, she'd lied and told them she had fallen down the stairs.
Three years into their relationship, when she was twenty-one, she got pregnant.
Originally, she wasn't going to tell him, as she wasn't going to keep it, intending on getting some herbs or a pill from her mother to end it. He didn't want a child, they weren't married and it was shameful enough to be with her, let alone have a baby out of wedlock with her they didn't want. But then she had thought about it, thought about how a baby might make him softer, maybe even make him see that they could do something good together. She was silly like that, and her heart was attached to the child anyway, and for a few weeks, she was happy for the first time in what felt like years.
He wasn't as thrilled. He had accused her of sleeping around, of it being someone else's and her whoring herself around town so much that she was pregnant with some low-life's child. She had denied it, because of course it wasn't true, she would never do that, she could never do that.
After two weeks of non-stop arguments, of her fighting back for the first time in so long because this was their child, she could never be with anyone else, she didn't want anyone else, he finally told her the only way he was having the baby is if they were married. Of course, she agreed, though hesitantly, and he had forced her down to the Justice Hall that very night in nothing more than an old, ratty blue dress. When she woke up the next morning, she had committed herself to being Mrs. Katniss Hawthorne. She was stuck.
But it was okay, because she was doing it for the baby inside her, the baby who needed more than a whore of a mother and a waitress's earnings. This was their baby. It deserved more than her. The baby was the only good thing she had and she would do anything to make sure it was okay.
Twelve weeks into her pregnancy, he had screamed at her so loudly it woke up the neighbours, though no one came over to check on them, but she had seen their bedroom lights on. She had dropped a plate, not one of the special ones, but plates cost money, money they had to save since she was stupid enough to get knocked up, money had had to now waste on things like diapers and changing tables. She had apologised, but it wasn't enough, and he'd thrown her to the ground, kicking her in the stomach, the ribs, the chest, anywhere he could find, repeatedly.
Normally, she could just take it, patch herself up later, but that night, after he had gone to bed, she had sobbed in pain, unable to stop it. No amount of painkillers changed anything, and she'd gone to hospital, as a last resort- just like usual. She had only been to hospital a couple of times at that point, always using one of the two in Twelve and leaving a gap between her visits long enough that no one would know her, using a fake name and leaving before they completed the treatment. That time, she had used her real name, because she needed to stay, she knew what was happening before the doctors even told her, and she refused to leave.
Miscarriage.
It happens often, one in four first pregnancies will end in the woman having a miscarriage, with eighty-five percent of those happening in the first trimester, with many factors determining it. Though she imagines being beaten so badly it causes a miscarriage wasn't one of the factors the doctors meant. They had droned on, giving her the information she needed, and a kind nurse had sat with her until she had to go, but she had barely understood half of it, too lost in her own thoughts and her grief.
She had driven to her mothers, sobbing on her front door step and being ushered in by Prim. She couldn't face going back home and seeing the look on his face, hearing the words he would spit at her for being so stupid, for being so reckless and careless and for losing the baby he never even wanted but was prepared to fork out money for and home.
Looking back, it was a blessing in disguise that she lost the baby, though it was painful. She was so confused, so mentally damaged with no clue what to do, that she had convinced herself that having a baby would change him, but it didn't and she was stupid for thinking it ever would. The baby chose to opt out, to press the eject button and go, and she couldn't blame them. It was better, in the long run, that the baby wouldn't have to go through everything she was going through, and maybe, just maybe, it was what was always meant to happen.
A day later, Gale had turned up, a frown on his lips and apology in his eyes, swearing that the baby miscarrying was what was going to change him, that he was so sorry and he would never, ever lay on a finger on her again. It was his baby too, and no one else could understand how she felt, so she had gone back home, accepting his apologies.
For a while, nearly a year in fact, he was so much better. He was back to the way he used to be, he was kind and affectionate and loving, he brought her gifts, he gave her birthdays cards which he had never done in the first place, and for once, she felt like things could get better. That they might actually have reached a turning point and he might love her again.
It didn't last, not that she really expected it to, and now she knows that she was such an idiot for remaining even after he went back to the way he was before. The insults came back, constantly, constantly getting at her, berating her, humiliating her, belittling her and blaming her for the loss of their baby, for the way he was, for the way their relationship was.
He was right. It was all her fault. If only she'd of protected him better, acted better, not argued so much, not been so stubborn, her baby would still be alive and he would be the man she thought he was. She drove him to it, she made him so angry that he could barely speak, barely see, and she couldn't leave him after doing so much damage.
The longer she stayed, the more she accepted it and just went along, the more she just allowed him to do whatever he wished to her, say whatever he wanted, the less it hurt, and the more numb she became. Nothing would ever, ever, hurt as much as losing her baby did, nothing he could do or say or make her do would ever hurt her, break her, as much as losing her child did.
On her twenty-fourth birthday, her mother had wanted to take her out, make a fuss over her. Her mother had gotten so much better, was doing so much better, and it made Katniss so joyful to see her doing so well. So she agreed, and to her shock, Gale had allowed her to go.
Pleasantly surprised and happy for the first time since Gale had gone back to his usual ways, she had allowed herself one glass of wine, not enough that he would ever of known she'd had it, but enough to make her happy at the small act of rebellion. She took what she could get back then. But then her mother had bought her another one, and Prim another. Since Katniss never really drank, it was enough to get her slightly tipsy, and though she tried to act sober when she went home, he had seen straight through it.
Prim and her mother hadn't even driven out of their front porch before he had grabbed her and thrown her against the wall, and the scream she had let out was loud enough to make them stop. He had grabbed the poker by the fireplace and held it under the flames, before he'd pressed it against the skin of her stomach, marking her so painfully that she'd sobbed.
It was as if he had known his torment was finally up, and he had stalked to the kitchen while her sister banged so hard on the floor it shook, her mother screaming out for her to come to the door. By the time she had managed to at least stop sobbing, he was back with a hot kettle in his hand, and the last thing she really remembers is the scalding pain on her chest, her stomach, her thighs, before she'd blacked out.
All she remembers is waking up in hospital with her mother and sister on either side of her, both of them sobbing while they helped tend to her wounds- her mother being a doctor in that very hospital, disgusted that neither of them ever noticed. However, while her family wept for her past, she didn't shed a tear, only staring down silently at her body, broken and bruised and now scalded.
Before, most of her injuries healed and whilst she would have a few scars remaining, she could claim they were something else and people would believe her. After, despite numerous skin grafts and it being weeks since she was admitted into hospital, she knew she would never look the way she used to, never be able to pretend it was anything but what it was.
Her mother wept for the pain Katniss had endured, the silent suffering, the fact that neither her or Prim had ever noticed or know, or even suspected there was something going on. Her sister sobbed for days over the niece or nephew she never got to meet, learning of the true reason that Katniss miscarried, and she cried for weeks for the way Katniss was, silent and withdrawn.
But Katniss, she didn't shed one tear, not the whole time she was in hospital, or the whole time she was forced to take therapy sessions she didn't want but went to, just to prove she could talk about it without sobbing uncontrollably. She didn't cry when her mother told her Gale was gone, just vanishing before anyone could find him, or when her sister and mother would ask her to talk about what happened. She didn't mind. She could talk about it. It happened, and now it wasn't happening anymore, and she was glad.
One night, she couldn't take it anymore, the constant asking, the begging for Katniss to give them something, anything, but the silence or acting like nothing had happened to her, like she hadn't been through the worst thing anyone should ever have to go through. She had grabbed a bag, packed some money and some clothes, before leaving a simple note explaining that she couldn't do it anymore, that she loved them dearly, and she would call them when she finally settled somewhere she felt safe.
She hasn't spoken to either of them in nearly four months, not for the month she travelled in her car, and not in the three months she's been in Four, and she misses them with every breath she takes. Desperately.
Now, after the night she had two days ago, she feels that same shame she was running away from, and she hates it. She hates every second of being in her own skin, of looking down at the scalds on her body and burns, the cuts and scars, the mark still on her stomach, not as angry and red but still prominent, she hates being who she is.
The only time she ever felt like she was someone other than poor, little, broken bird Katniss Everdeen- because in her mind, she's Everdeen again, Hawthorne is long gone despite her never being divorced- is when she's with Peeta, when he's speaking to her about everything and nothing, making her feel safe, comforting her in his embrace.
That's why, on the morning after her panic attack, she had kissed him, and allowed that kiss to continue. He hadn't mentioned it, but then he hadn't been over since, as he was going to see her when he dropped her at work today, though he had been texting her and calling her precisely in the times she needed him. They didn't discuss the kiss, or her panic attack, because she hadn't wanted to. But now she wishes they had.
Of course, by the time she's managed to break out of her thoughts, get showered, dressed for work and down the stairs, Peeta is already there, always an early bird. She smiles softly at the sight of him, and she takes the plunge. "Morning." Katniss greets, not stopping as she makes her way to him until she's leaning up, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before pulling away slowly.
"Morning." Peeta smiles, and she can't help her own widening, glad that she hadn't made him uncomfortable. "Ready for your first day at work?"
Nodding once, she braces herself. "Ready as I'll ever be."
Luckily, for her at least, she doesn't have to meet too many people when she'd being introduced by Peeta to the rest of the staff. Originally, Boggs had gone to get her used to the flow of things, explain everything, but he'd been called away for an unexpected meeting and Peeta had been more than happy to step in.
She doesn't mind. If anything she prefers having him by her side. He's much better at the people-skills thing then her, he can joke and get her involved in conversations, something she's certainly not used to being privy to. But before long, he had to do his actual job, and she was left with the other staff members.
There's the woman with red hair and amber eyes that was at the interview stages. Apparently, they had both been good candidates and been given the jobs on the spot, something that pleases Katniss to no end, seeing as she had thought the woman looks like someone she could get along with. She might be wrong, it's very likely, but she's usually good at figuring out what a person is like with first impressions.
Apparently, her name isn't Foxface like Katniss had been calling her in her head, and she introduces herself as Finch Crosselly, she's older than Katniss by a year, and has a spunky attitude that she envies her for, that and the fact she's beautiful, with clear skin and long legs, wearing the most professional yet elegant and flattering clothing she's ever seen on someone. She would be jealous if it wasn't for the fact Finch looks just as nervous as she is, and she can definitely see them at least getting on- if not becoming something similar to friends.
She won't admit that though.
Aside from Finch, there is a slightly built woman with wide-set brown eyes and brown, spiked up hair that introduces herself as Johanna Mason. The name rings a bell, and when Katniss went to question her, the woman had held up a hand like she's heard it before. According to Johanna, she used to work for Sae's just like Katniss, but left months ago and for some reason, they all still think she works there.
When Katniss had asked why, she shrugged, but she suspects there's more there than she lets on. Why would Johanna not admit to working for Sae? Admittedly, Katniss hadn't seen her in the two months and two weeks she worked there, but it doesn't explain much.
"If you must know," Johanna sighs, seeing the unamused look on Katniss's face when she tries to joke off her questioning. "Sae needed help with the accounts, I needed money, so we made a deal that I would do them. She was embarrassed to admit she needed help, you know how proud that woman is, and I didn't want to admit I needed cash, so she put me down as a Chef and everyone pretends it's true."
Admittedly, it does sound like Sae, and if Katniss can tell anything about Johanna despite barely knowing her, she can tell it wasn't easy for her to admit she needed money.
"Now," Johanna starts, placing a file in front of the other two with a groan. "Because Boggs is busy, I need to give you an orientation to the job, but I hate everything this file, its total crap and neither of you would learn from it." She throws it in the garbage can beside her, ignoring the way Finch flinches at the sight of a book being thrown.
That's something to add to what Katniss knows about her new colleagues. Finch hates waste, hates books being thrown away and is possibly the most organised person Katniss has ever known. It's good to know.
"Instead," Johanna continues, a smirk on her face as she leans on the desk, completely ignoring a patient in front of them. "I'm going to teach you the fun bit. How to tell when a patient is a time waster," She directs the words at the person in front of her, who splutters but they obviously aren't sick enough for ER as they swear before stalking out. "And who is genuine."
The two women spend most of the morning with Johanna, and as more hours pass, Katniss can't help but like the older, slightly intimidating woman. She's abrasive, rude and sarcastic, she swears like a trooper and has no regard for personal space or boundaries- but Katniss thinks she's interesting.
At least she doesn't fake smile or pretend to be someone she isn't, those are qualities that are hard to find nowadays.
It's a breath of fresh air not having to pretend to be some kind of woman who has never been through something, with Johanna never asking questions about anything other than work, however that changes when lunch rolls around as she has Peeta approach the front desk. "Dr. Mellark," Katniss greets professionally, but there's a smirk forming that makes even Finch quirk a brow. "Good afternoon."
Placing a hot to-go mug of coffee in front of her, Peeta leans his elbows on the desk with a warm smile. "Good afternoon, I was wondering if you were free for lunch as of about now?"
Giving a quick glance to the other two to check it's okay, the nods she receives make her grin. "I am. Where were you thinking, Dr. Mellark?"
"Oh my God," Johanna groans, looking between the two as if it's some kind of TV show. "This is the Katniss you've been going on and on about?" At Peeta's nod, she makes a scoff from the back of her throat. "The way you two are acting, it's as if you're married and he's asking to fuck in the nearest private room!"
Spluttering, Katniss shakes her head as she stands up, pulling on her coat so fast she's surprised she hasn't got whiplash, unable to help her giddiness on the inside when Peeta reaches over to help her into it. "W-I-he-we-not, you're not supposed to do that!"
"What?" Johanna quirks a brow, watching Katniss walk out from behind the desk and go stand by Peeta's side. "You two don't fuck? It's natural for a husband and wife-"
Rolling his eyes, Peeta puts a finger over his lips to signal for Jo to shut up, knowing Katniss isn't comfortable with that topic at all. "Jo, stop it. We aren't married. I'm not taking her to a private room, I'm taking her to lunch." He reprimands firmly, and it sends a little jolt through Katniss's stomach to hear him defend her in a way.
"Still think you two are at least engaged." She mumbles, but goes back to work anyway, her fingers tapping on her keyboard quickly, followed by her the clicking of her mouse.
Satisfied, Katniss takes his arm as he offers it, wrapping her own around it, allowing for him to lead her out of the building, both of them holding a coffee cup in their free hands. "Why is Johanna like that? Honestly, this whole morning, all she speaks about is sex. Finnick is the same way sometimes, so is that man who comes into the diner, Chaff?" She comments, shuddering at the time he kissed her and she'd slapped him straight in the mouth.
He's grinning, and she hates it because she doesn't understand what on earth he has to be grinning about. "It's you, Katniss, can't you see?"
Annoyed, she glances at him, hating the way she likes the stupid grin on his face, thinking it makes him look more relaxed, more carefree. "Why they all act like that. Finnick with his sugar cubes and flirting innuendos, and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna making comments about sex." Peeta, unsuccessfully, tries to take on a more serious tone, and it only irritates her further. "They're playing with you because you're so...you know."
"No, I don't know." She narrows her eyes, her mouth slanted in annoyance, and she would punch him if she didn't hate the thought of doing it to him that so much.
Chuckling, Peeta smirks, but there is something in his eyes she doesn't like, something that seems to be holding him back from saying something. She doesn't like that one bit. "Do you remember when I stepped out of the shower at mine after you used your key to let yourself in? I was naked and you couldn't look at me."
She nods, remembering that very clearly, how flushed she was and stuttering even though he was the one who was naked and wrapping a towel around his body. He had been nonplussed, but she was a wreck, banging into walls in her attempt to avert her eyes and leave the room.
"You're... pure," he says finally, trying to school his features and act seriously.
"I am not!" She protests, nearly stomping her feet like a little child. "I've been practically drooling all over you, or so Johanna thinks, and most of the people at the diner and the reception girls now. According to them, I look about ready to...do things to you in private hospital rooms."
"You can't even say that. They're just teasing and playing with you because you're new meat to them."
Katniss walks with him, albeit slightly slower to force him to slow, knowing he hates it. He likes to walk fast and get where they need to be, whereas she likes a slower pace. They usually settle for a happy medium. "They're laughing at me, and so are you." She states, her tone more hurt than she intended.
"No." Peeta shakes his head, but he's still suppressing a smile, though her hurt tone has clearly made him worry. "I would never make fun of you, you know that."
Sighing, she nods; knowing that's true, and her grip on his arm tightens slightly.
"Yeah, but...I mean, for the them, you're pure," he says, clearly trying to coddle her but she'll accept it, for now. "For me, you're perfect."
Unable to help the way his words make her heart flutter, she leans in closer to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Thank you." She whispers, before resuming their original position, walking with him at their usual pace again to show she isn't mad anymore. "Where are we going anyway?" She asks, realising they've come full circle, back to where they started originally.
"I actually have no idea." He admits, leading her to sit down on a bench not too far from the doors, with her leaning against his side with his arm still linked with hers. "I wanted to...ask you something."
Nodding slowly, she raises an eyebrow, signaling for him to continue. He looks nervous about something, though she isn't sure what, and she doesn't think she's ever seen him like this. Usually he's sheepish or bashful, but never nervous.
Taking a deep breath, Peeta glances at her. "Just know that you can always saw no and it won't change anything, we'll still be...whatever we are and I won't be mad or treat you any differently. To be honest, I'm expecting a no but I figured I might as well ask."
"Peeta," She stops him, sensing that whatever he's about to ask if obviously important to him and she doesn't want to ruin that. "Just ask. It's fine."
"Will," He sighs, trying to think of the right words and trying his hardest not to freak her out or make her think he's pushing her too hard. This, she, is so important to him and he'd rather hurt himself than scare of hurt her. "Katniss-"
"Seriously, you know I usually love your pauses and your sheepish attitude," She points out, a small smile on her face, but her eyes are concerned, scared suddenly of whatever he's planning on asking her. "But you need to spit it out, you're scaring me-"
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
That is chapter nine finished, look at me doing a good ish enough job to write nine chapters in completion. I'm surprised at myself for getting this far, admittedly. Oh well, I will post these when I've finished them all, it's weird talking now knowing you'll see this weeks or months from now but I'm saying it like it's now.