The weight of her silence pressed into his chest. Soul watched her walk ahead of him and while there wasn't anything sizzling about it, no broiling anger sweeping off her in waves, it still ate away at any bit of comfort the night before had brought him. Tears weren't his regular, but even without memories, Maka had known that a firm, clutching hug would hold him together, and she had until he trudged to his bed and slept a thankfully dreamless sleep.
What could she be thinking? His mind probed for answers to that question. She doesn't think I hate her, right? I just said no because I'm scared and she gets that, right? Right? That parroted question continued to rise, a steady increase in pitch and volume as it fed a new panic in him.
"It's a joint class today, right?"
Soul snapped to attention, realizing from the way Maka had stopped and was patting into his elbow as she had sunk in next to him meant he'd missed the first few utterances of that question. "Uh, yeah, but Stein said we could be excused since, well…" he shrugged weakly.
"I think we should still go," her voice was suffused with a pleasant eagerness.
"You're the boss," he smirked as he patted her hand. It was supposed to be a cue for release, but Maka's fingers drifted down his arm until they hit his hand, tugging at his pinky to try to dislodge it from his pocket. "What?" he stared down at the connection as if it were actually something new.
It came like a disgruntled mutter from her mouth, "Give me your hand."
"Maka…" he started as the warmth crept up his jaw and threatened his cheeks. Still, his fingers fell into the automaticity of it, twining easily with hers.
"You said it's a comfort thing," she murmured, eyes still focused ahead as if there was a challenge on the horizon, "and I know you're trying to hide it but you look like you need it right now."
He answered with a squeeze of her fingers, watching it bring half a smile to her face and hoping it left her with the message that he didn't want to let go.
Thank you, the hidden away Maka murmured to her other-self. The jealousy still keenly grew in her heart, gnawing at the moment. Thank you, but… I wish it was me, even though it is! I wish I could feel his hand, his soul, but… I can't. I don't think I've ever missed anything so much in my life - just the feeling of his soul near mine, searching for me. I might not exactly be like Soul but in this, I am. I didn't know I needed it as much as I did until it was taken from me.
They made their way into the building, turns now settled in Maka's brain as she actually led them towards the practice room. Stein and Marie were standing at the front, hashing out last minute arrangements until the pair entered, making that single unpatched eye slip instantly to their joined hands.
Soul watched the excitement drift over Marie's features and he shook his head quickly to murder it.
Marie bit into her lip at the wordless destruction of her hope.
"Ah, Maka!" While Stein noticed the crestfallen exchange between his love and Soul, his voice didn't echo it. "I thought perhaps you wouldn't be coming today."
"Even if Soul and I can't…" Maka didn't have the word for it - perform, sync, connect seemed to all bring an ache to her chest she couldn't stand. "I thought it'd be nice to see Ox, Harvar, Kim, and Jackie show off." She passed a smile to each one of them as she named them, the shame pulling at the curl. I say your names, can connect them to your faces, but other than that…
"In that case, why don't you go sit with the underclassmen," Stein waved a hand to the side of the mat.
Instantly, Maka felt her hackles rise, that cherubic face staring at them from the sidelines. Clara, her and the one locked away muttered simultaneously.
"Come on." Soul gave her a tug but she didn't budge, sending worried red eyes back to her.
"Soul, I…" Her glance darted just along the periphery of him, catching a bit of that curly pigtail in her view. "Don't let go of my hand, OK?"
His eyebrows furrowed momentarily as he studied her face. "Yeah, sure," and while his words seemed barely convincing, the way he pulled her closer and renewed the grip between them sent the message loud and clear. Even though that steadied the beats of her heart, the calm was only momentary before it went right back to thundering as Soul brought her to sit right next to Clara.
"Oh, Soul, Maka, you're not showcasing today?" That saccharine voice scraped along the inside of Maka's ear but didn't seem to move Soul any which way.
"Nah," Soul shrugged.
"But, why not? I thought we were doing all weapon groups today." Innocent worry suffused her voice as Clara leaned forward, taking Soul in her view instead of Maka.
A start of a bitter smile was on Soul's lips but Maka jumped in, "I'm not feeling well today."
Clara gasped almost seamlessly but the devious grin gave her away. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Maka!"
Maka let her eyes flick to Soul, a fluttering bit of relief hitting her heart as he seemed entirely uninterested as his eyes focused on their still tangled fingers. "I'm sure I'll be fine, Clara," Maka tried to throw some sweetness back.
"Um, Soul," Clara barely waited for Maka's sentence to be through. "Why don't you partner with someone else for today? I mean, isn't it important to see each weapon in action? And since you're such a-"
"Nope," he popped the p with a bored smack of his lips.
Maka watched as this flustered Clara, her lips starting to tremble around the words, "But, there's so few scythes, and even fewer death scythes and you're such a talent."
Soul's head slowly swiveled as his eyebrows wrinkled. "You're a scythe meister, right?"
Color popped up on Clara's cheeks, "Yes, I am!"
Frost started to creep into Maka's heart and without thought, her hold on him tightened.
Soul squeezed right back. "So what you're saying is maybe we should give 'em a show?"
"Soul, I'd be honored," she oozed as her hands went to cover the blush on her cheeks.
"Except you're forgettin' somethin'," Soul's voice was suddenly a winter breeze, drifting right past Maka's face to seize up the color on Clara's. "While I might be Kid's last weapon, and sure, I'm here when he needs me, at the end of the day no one other than Maka's gonna touch me." Without much more than that, Soul's eyes wandered lazily back to the fray that was starting between Ox and Kim.
Maka leaned a little closer to the stunned Clara, whispering easily, "Sorry, he's been kind of cranky lately." She paused, letting their eyes meet and the venom saturate Clara's.
Do you see it? The trapped Maka murmured to herself. Oh, I wish I was there! One hand on her, one read, and I'd know for sure but… that girl. That girl isn't right. Tell me you see it!
"I'm just lucky," Maka continued, green challenging the perturbed hazel next to her. "I thought maybe when we started, I chose him, but it looks like Soul chose me."
Kilik had tried.
Black Star yahooing into a fight wasn't really out of the ordinary, and technically, it was Black Star doing what he was supposed to be doing - not killing the target right away - but at the same time, this wasn't exactly Black Star taking it easy. And the idea that Kilik was supposed to be the voice of reason? Well, there wasn't really a clear head to be had - all present had watched Soul and Maka be torn apart in the past few weeks and none were immune to the rage of it.
Fire flared, a wall of inferno blocked the shadowy figure's escape. The orange glow finally gave shape to the most disembodied eyes that they'd been chasing. As the head turned back, grim sharp teeth slid into a sick grin. "I don't suppose I could entice you-"
"No fuckin' chance," Black Star burst in as he tossed the scythe chain to cinch around the lithe waist, bringing those yellow eyes closer to him.
"You're just lucky we have to keep you alive," Kilik spat as he renewed the pillar of flame, keeping any exit beside right through them blocked.
"Oh, has the little rat's nest been found?"
Kilik's eyebrows furrowed as he rested a fist to the ground, watching those predatory eyes flick with delight. "Rat's nest?"
"Humans, humans, humans," spat the witch before lips shrunk, withering away to nothing but a black bit of maw replacing where the mouth had yawned wide. Tsubaki scuttered to the ground, no longer anchored on a body that had combusted into a tiny fluff of pitch: a bat that fluttered up into the night.
"Fuck," Black Star hissed before launching up the wall, trying to gain the momentum as he jumped between the brick wall to the next to climb to the little thing's height.
Even with the change of size, the voice boomed, "You want to blame the things that hide in the dark but really it's the heart of men - or should I say girls - that brings discord."
"Kilik, zap 'em!" Black Star barked.
"Alive, remember, Star?" Still, Thunder itched in his palm, blue sparks spitting towards the brick.
"Startin' to not give a fuck," Black Star grunted down before lashing out again, the sickle barely brushing a fuzzy black wing.
That seemed to change its trajectory, the little body hitting the sill as the face started to rip back into reality, the body slinking into the window. "Anyway," the voice hissed from the darkness as Black Star positioned himself on the ledge across, ready to pounce until the words rippled a cold drop of icy sweat down his spine. "Your little traitor messed up. Didn't tell me it was that death scythe, that meister. I'm smarter than that. Her memories should have come back by now."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kilik's tested patience exploded, sending his fist into the building and a stream of electricity climbing up to splinter the glass.
The eyes never even closed no matter how the shards threatened them, just trapping Black Star with his feet dug into the stone. "Curses need to be maintained," pleasure blinked into those bobbing orbs as it suffused the voice as well, "Mabaa's not even strong enough to curse once and have it last forever. I know I'm powerful, but… it was due to fade a few days ago."
Another rain of glass exploded into the alley as the force with which Black Star catapulted himself forward shook the very air between the two buildings. He was tired of those eyes, and if capturing them wasn't about to get him anywhere with the curse, well, then what the hell was he taking it easy for?
Soul heard the hum of voices as he stepped out of the shower, the rush of water no longer overpowering the din. He tried to will his gut not to knot, but the muscle folded in on itself, catching tightly on fear. Should be back by now, right? And talkin'... talkin' must mean good news because if it wasn't- if something was wrong, wouldn't it just be choking silence? Making himself sure of that was a task harder than draining the water from his mop of hair.
The array of faces that he saw after changing didn't help. Star was lounging sideways in the chair behind Maka who sat straight-backed on the seat, his hand messing up her hair. Tsubaki was behind the two of them, fingers nervously toying with the top of the chair. Liz was pressed in the doorway that Soul now stood frozen in, arms crossed tightly against her chest, that worried line starting on her forehead. The couch housed Kid, Kilik, and Stein, an odd combination except for the identical grim pulls of their lips. For a terrifying beat of his heart, everything was silent.
"Black Star and Kilik were successful in hunting and eliminating the witch," Kid threw out succinctly with a thin bit of air.
"And?" Soul punctuated.
"Witch wasn't working on their own- said there was a rat in our group," Star muttered.
"So one of us hurt Maka?" Soul spat.
"Hurt both of you," Liz corrected sharply.
"Fuck my word choice." His hands balled into fists at his side. "Who? Who the fuck-?"
"We're figuring that out." Kid tried to sweep a leveling hand in front of him but it wasn't until Liz continued the gesture, her hand tightening around Soul's elbow that the boiling over rage started to dissipate. "The more important matter is Maka."
Soul knew the answer even before the weak words hissed from between his teeth but he couldn't stop them, "Did the witch say how to get rid of the curse?"
"Apparently, the curse wasn't being maintained." Stein delivered each word with a razor's edge to Soul's heart. "There is apparently no reason why Maka shouldn't have returned to herself by now."
The fear choked him and urged him to scream at the same time. It sent desperate, jagged spikes of electricity through his nerves as his hands tightened to the point where muscles creaked. He couldn't meet any eyes in the room but he forced his just the same, connecting with the misty jade that sat across from him. With a trembling breath, he eased out in a lifeless voice, "Thanks. Now leave."
"Soul-" Liz started but it was Black Star who jumped to his feet to cut in with the boom of his voice.
"You heard 'im, out!" He grabbed Tsubaki's hand, tearing her away with just a fleetingly soft touch to Maka's shoulders. On his way to the doorway, he only offered Soul a glance, a curt nod before driving into Liz, pushing the woman already hissing with an argument into the entryway. Kid followed with a sigh.
Only Stein had the nerve to pause, to place a firm hand on Soul's shoulder. No words passed and while Stein's fingers could never do anything to rival Marie's, something crossed between them that settled Soul's shoulders into refusing the curl. As soon as they were straightened, everyone but the two of them was gone.
"I know I said… we'd talk," trembled over an exhale from his lips.
"We don't have to…" Maka eased up placating hands as she stood. "It's… a lot, right? So if you need time…"
"I do," he murmured, "but I also need to make somethin' clear before I take it."
For the first time since the group had funneled through the door, a small sliver of hope was eking into her chest. "Alright."
"I'm not sayin' you call the shots- this is a partnership, always has been, but you have a decision to make." His fingers relaxed, pink starting to flood back into white knuckles as the trembling started. "I'm already a death scythe, you did what you had to do, so for you, this partnership- well, you got nothin' to gain, Maka. I'm the one-" that barely fluttered from his lips, his throat latching closed as tears threatened. He brought a hand up to rub across his lips, buying time until the obstruction cleared. "I'm the one who needs you, not the other way around. I want to keep tryin', work on our resonance but if you-"
The rest of the air catapulted uselessly from his chest as she slammed into him. Maka hadn't tempered her step, throwing her arms around his middle to squeeze every last bit of that horrible sentence from him before he could finish it. Those words were poison and she refused to let him swallow them. "Shut up," she ordered, taking every last hope of argument from him. "You're so stupid," blared from her lips into his shirt.
Soul's hands tentatively fell to her shoulders.
"And now you're being stupid enough not to actually hug me."
A weak facsimile of a laugh, just air barely scraping through his throat left him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders.
Each word after came as another command, "We're going to work on our resonance. I don't care if you're already a death scythe, we can be better than that, I know it." That old Maka pride was welling up in her voice as her fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt and threatened at his skin. "And memories or no, I want to stay with you. Please, Soul, just stop all this and let me."
Soul let his cheek rest on her golden tresses as he finally allowed his hands to dig into her and bind her to him. "I know better than to get in your way."
So that's it, right?
This is… how it's going to be. Me, trapped here, watching her live my life.
Purgatory for sins I don't know how to erase.
Hell! Because what else would be torture for me than to watch him love her the way I've always wanted him to love me? To be so aware of his feelings, his wants, his needs, but have them all fall as the responsibility of someone else?
I… I want to touch him again, just for a second. I want to remember what it feels like to be enveloped in his arms and his soul at the same time and be… complete. I'll never have that again and it sits in my heart like a jagged stone.
I've cried his name out until I'm hoarse but I don't have a voice that can reach him.
I've clawed at the darkness trying to touch him but there's a wall between us.
I want to be happy, happy that he'll love her, take care of her, and maybe somehow he'll be happy but… It should be with me. This all should be with me.