Ten
During Henry's naps, Emma has taken to reading for most of the day. So far, she's made her way through almost thirty books, which must be a record of some kind.
If anyone had told her two weeks ago that she would become a stereotypical housewife for the better part of a month, she would not have believed it.
In the real world, she's a police officer in Storybrooke with her father, who is sheriff of their little town. It's not a busy place, but it suits her well enough.
She gets plenty of time off and she spends a lot of it helping her mother with preparing for her classes at Storybrooke Elementary. The woman is a saint, but sometimes she does need someone to help her balance such a heavy workload.
One of the things she's most excited about is getting to sit with her mother while she eagerly wonders about every little detail of Emma's life. It can be annoying, sure, but her mother has to be one of the most genuinely kind people in the world.
That kindness is something that Emma takes into consideration while she pours focus and heart into her day-to-day efforts with both Henry and Killian.
Pondering what one act of kindness she could perform for Killian, Emma makes a less-than-half serving of oatmeal for herself.
Henry sits on a blanket on the floor nearby, playing with a makeshift doll that she'd fashioned out of an old shirt.
He is a cute little boy, with his little dimples and his sweet, excited babbling. But the more important thing is that he seems happy, despite everything that's already happened in his life. She's glad he won't have to remember this experience. One day, it will just be a story she'll tell him and he probably won't believe it.
The front door opens with a squeal and comes clattering back as Killian steps inside. He looks over at her with worry in his eyes. "We've got some unwelcome company."
Emma furrows her brow. "What do you mean?"
"Every so often, a ship of pirates comes off the coast of the island. I've never dealt with them directly. Usually I have to signal back to the mainland for help, but since I've disarmed our radio, we need to make all appearances that we are not home."
Fear rushes into the peace of the morning faster than she can think to breathe. Her heart begins beating faster, whirling thoughts and worries silencing her.
She turns the stove off and moves the pot to keep the breakfast she'd been preparing from burning.
Killian already makes his way through the small house, flipping off lights and ousting the fires that keep them from freezing.
Emma nervously bites at her lip and crouches down to gather Henry up into her arms. He chatters sweetly in her ear and she smiles, setting her palm to his belly as she gives his cheek a reassuring kiss.
"Come on, baby. We're going to play somewhere else."
She steps into the living room where Killian enters in from the bedroom.
"The fires are out. Hopefully they haven't seen the smoke yet."
Emma nods. She doesn't know what to say. Pirates weren't on her bingo card of potential worst case scenarios, so she truly finds herself fearful and out of her depth.
Killian tips his head toward the bedroom. "Why don't you and Henry hide in there in case something happens?"
In case something happens.
Whatever dangers he thinks these pirates are capable of sends shivers up her spine.
"What about you?"
He goes over to the bookshelf, digs into a box he keeps higher up, and removes a gun and its components.
"I'll be fine, love."
Emma wants to argue, but he comes up to her and presses a kiss to her forehead, his hand warm against her arm. She squeezes her eyes shut, not realizing that she would be so worried over something that the circumstances are so unclear over.
It hits her as he's leaving a kiss to the top of her head that he's trying to comfort her. That maybe he's worried about the end. That maybe he has no idea what's about to happen.
She watches him as he walks away, then takes a shaky breath. "Be careful, Killian."
He turns, his eyes filled with anguished determination. "Stay hidden. It shouldn't be long."
Emma holds the back of Henry's head and walks with him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. She carries the baby to the bed and sits him down, taking a few steadying nervous breaths as she stands by him, watching his curious little eyes light up.
She wonders what Killian's doing, if he's sitting out in the kitchen or if he's going to go outside. She can't really hear anything, and it produces a sinking feeling in her gut as she tries to keep Henry occupied.
After a little while, she hears shouting voices, but she can't make out the words for the life of her, and she bites hard on her lip as she gathers up Henry in her arms.
Quickly, she goes to the opposite side of the room, ducking to hide as best she can behind the bed. She holds Henry tight to her chest, determined that she will protect him at all costs.
She's shocked when she hears gunfire and her eyes widen, holding the little boy ever tighter, especially when he whimpers fearfully. He can clearly sense that something is going on, so she puts her hand over his ear and her chest against his other, allowing him to listen to her pounding heart instead.
"It's okay," she hushes him. "We're going to be okay. Killian is going to take care of us."
Emma clamps her eyes shut. She doesn't know if she actually believes that or if she just needs to hear it from someone.
The doorknob to the bedroom jiggles before it opens.
Fear crawls along her skin, but she manages a deep breath, recalling her training as an officer. Prepared to fight, she decides she'll put Henry under the bed to protect him before making her move and grabbing the shovel that leans against a chest opposite the bed.
She hesitantly looks up and over the top of the bed, expecting the absolute worst.
Relief fills her chest at the sight of Killian standing there instead.
She rises to her feet. "What happened? I heard shots."
"I took care of them." He clearly isn't very distressed about what happened, but he trembles a little upon closer examination.
Emma crosses the room to stand before him at the door. "Are they gone now?"
Killian nods. "For the moment at least. They've taken my warning."
Acting on impulse, she wraps her free arm around his neck, burying herself in his grasp. He tightens his arm around her and she hears him sigh.
"I was worried about you," she admits softly.
He allows her to rest in his embrace for a few solemn moments before he speaks. "How is he?"
Emma shuts her eyes and breathes him in, taking the moment to be thankful that they're all safe.
She takes a step back, looking at Henry where he hangs over her hip. He chirps and babbles, making her smile as she tugs at his little makeshift outfit.
"He's good."
Killian smiles softly when she looks at him, reaching out to tug at Henry's foot. "That's a lad. Did you keep Emma safe for me?"
Henry makes a noise that makes them both laugh.
Emma kisses the crown of his head and smiles when he decides to collapse against her collarbone with his hands clutching at her hair.
When she looks at Killian again, he admires her with eyes she's seen more often lately.
He's been getting better with Henry, but the little boy still prefers her company to his, probably because Killian refuses to hold him for very long. He helps when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night and sometimes sings to him and plays with him in the evenings when they're all gathered in the living room with nothing else to do.
"How are you?" she asks him. "Did they hurt you or anything?"
He shakes his head, a smile playing at his lips. "I was the better arm."
"Thank you," she says again, seriously.
He nods once. "How about you, love? Are you alright?"
She takes a breath, assessing, and nods. "Yeah. I am. Just a little shaken up, I guess."
On another instinct, she brings her hand up to his face, gently thumbing over the apple of his cheek. She feels him lean into her ever so slightly, his eyes falling shut briefly when her hand meets his face. "I'm just glad nothing happened to you."
His eyes are full of longing. It's downright ridiculous..
"Emma," he breathes out, shaking his head slightly.
She feels her chest tightening and she doesn't know what to say. She pulls her hand away and swallows at the lump in her throat.
He looks at her for a long few moments, then steps a little closer to her. He pauses and cradles the back of her head with his hand, pressing his lips against her forehead in a lingering kiss.
Without another word, Killian turns to go.
Emma takes a deep breath, unsure what that was about.
/
She laughs with Henry when she has him sit in the tub to take a bath.
He's happy to be in the water and he splashes her far too much, but she doesn't mind. Emma spends quality time scrubbing his hair and putting bubbles onto his nose to make him giggle.
Maybe being a mom isn't such a bad thing. In fact, she kind of likes it. A lot.
She wraps Henry up in a big warm towel and dries him off, cuddling with him on her way back to the living room.
The front door opens and closes as she's wrapping Henry's make-shift diaper over him, smiling as he watches her with curiosity. Emma pokes his belly and he flails his legs, making her laugh.
"You are a very lucky boy, Henry. And I'm lucky that I met you."
She strokes up at his hair, making it into a little wispy mohawk before she pulls him into an outfit created by one of Killian's old tee shirts.
Henry kicks his feet and clutches at her hair as she kisses all along his little face. Her heart swells warmly.
"Hey, I love you, little guy. Do you know that? I love you."
Henry just blinks at her.
"I'm going to love you for a long time," Her heart races, because she's never loved anyone like this before. "I promise nothing is going to hurt you as long as you and I have each other."
Emma gives him another kiss to his cheek and sits with him in her lap, her hand pressed against his belly while one of his hands examines her other one.
She glances up, finding herself looking at Killian leaning against the doorframe. She wonders how long he's been watching her when he unfolds his arms and crosses the room.
Killian sits beside her on the sofa and she turns to look at him with a cautious smile.
"Did you finish working?" Emma wonders as casually as she can.
He nods and looks down at Henry when he chirps.
"He's a noisy fellow, isn't he?" Killian asks, smiling a little.
Emma laughs, nodding in agreement. "He's really happy right now. He loves having baths."
Killian reaches in and strokes Henry's soft cheek with the back of his hand.
"You're good for him," Killian tells her softly. "You make a good mother."
Emma feels a blush fill her cheeks, something she thinks he must notice, because he smiles at her softly.
"Maybe the ocean brought us here for this," Emma muses. She turns her attention onto Henry. "I mean, since it'll probably never happen organically… this is my one shot at being a mom."
When Emma looks up at him, Killian furrows his brow at her in confusion.
She rolls her eyes at her own logic. "You know, because I do so much better on my own. I chase off decent guys and cling to stupid ones."
He hums thoughtfully. "And where do I fall in that spectrum?" She opens her mouth, her ears reddening and words not coming forward. He chuckles, resting his hand against her thigh. "I see."
Emma gapes at him. "It was just a kiss. I don't think that constitutes being on the spectrum. I thought you didn't even want to consider… us being… involved."
Killian tips his head to the side in thought.
Her jaw falls open in mild surprise and she shakes her head. "We're only going to be here for another week and a half, Killian."
He stares at her for a few seconds and sighs, pushing his head down so he stares at his lap. "I know."
Emma stares at Henry. He's sleepy, his head drooped and his eyes falling shut.
"I know I keep asking you this, but, when we leave, what's going to happen to you?" she asks boldly. "Are you going to stay here?"
Killian stares at her, his gaze unfailing. "Emma-"
"If you can't tell me you don't want to come with me, then it's not worth the heartache."
Emma manages to smile at him, regardless of the tight feeling in her chest. She stands to take Henry into the bedroom to sleep. As she stares at the boy in his cradle, she thinks about the absurdity of it all.
He's all on his own here. He has a clear cut way out if he leaves with them, but he won't take it.
Determined, she marches back out into the living room and faces the sofa where Killian's still sitting.
"Why are you here? On this island?"
Killian looks up at her and shakes his head, wordless.
"You know that you're not cursed, right? You've had some horrible stuff happen to you, but that doesn't mean that everyone you care about has to die, or that you're never going to have a life like you had before everything happened."
Killian clenches his jaw and stands up, clearly getting a little wound up by what she's saying.
"Just because you're here, Emma, and just because we're friends, it doesn't mean I'm ready-"
"That's crap. Don't tell me you're not ready." Emma shakes her head. "You keep telling yourself that and you're never going to have any space in your heart to move on."
He laughs, spiteful. "You've been here two weeks and suddenly you're an expert on what I'm ready to do?"
"I want you to come home with us," Emma argues passionately. "Okay? I want you to come home with me and Henry, and watch him grow up, and… meet everyone I love and learn new things and go new places…" Feeling weary, she sighs. "I want you to stop hiding out here."
"I'm not…" he stops himself, falling quiet.
Searching his eyes, she waits for him to finish his reply, but he doesn't.
"You're not alive so you can act dead, Killian."
Pivoting fast on her heel, she goes into the bedroom, but knows they're not done with this fight.
/
The couch is an uncomfortable bed, but he's gotten more or less used to it in these past few days. He drags a blanket over him and stares at the wall across the room.
His heart races and his mind is a blur as he considers Emma's frustration over his choices. Maybe he's being stubborn, but it's for a good cause. His life has been one disaster after another.
Killian thinks about Liam, how strong his brother had been up through the end of his life. Liam probably wouldn't want him wasting his life away just as much as Emma doesn't.
On a grimace, Killian shakes his head. No, Liam's gone, so he doesn't get to have opinions, and Emma barely knows him.
But still, it feels like he's falling into the deepest, darkest pit and he's never going to be able to get out. The heart of him cries out in silence, begging him to follow Emma and Henry away from this island.
She wants him to. She wants him.
It terrifies him, the thought of living a life away from here. Especially after stranding himself here for so long.
Emma might be worth it.
/
She wakes to the sound of Killian's voice.
Her eyes open slowly and she realizes in a jolt of awareness that he's sitting at her side, his fingers pressed against her arm to try and shake her awake.
The room is softly lit by early dawn's glow, and she'd think nothing of Killian being here, but they did just have both pirates and a pretty serious argument. His being at her side this early in the morning could be for anything, as far as she knows.
Emma pushes herself upright. Her eyes blink open wider and she forces herself to wake up as she asks, "What's going on? Is everything okay?"
She places her hands between her thighs and looks up at Killian, who sits in silence. He wears a dark expression on his face, something sorrowful knitting his brow.
Suddenly, he slides his fingers down her arm until he finds hers. Emma's eyes meet his in surprise and he smiles slightly.
"There are reasons," he tells her. "Reasons I didn't pursue you when I had every opportunity." He scans her face with determination. Clearly, he's trying to fight something in his mind. "But I'm tired of waiting on the demons from my past."
With her heart in her throat, Emma notices that there are dark circles under Killian's eyes, as if he'd been up all night thinking about the weight of the world that rests upon his shoulders.
If he'd been up all night thinking about this, then what she'd said to him must have been meaningful.
"I… don't..." Emma pauses. She shakes her head. This is something she never would have expected. Her fingers fit easily between his and she stares down at them with her heart still racing. "Killian, I don't want to get hurt when I can leave."
He smiles a little, his eyes absolutely flattering her with the way they light up with adoration. "I don't know if I'm ready to leave, but I know I want to keep you in my life."
She tilts her head, resting it on her shoulder. "Killian-"
He smiles as he mirrors her, clearly captivated by something about her.
"I'm terrified of what it means, but I want to be with you, Emma." Killian says solemnly. "When we kissed, it exposed something." Her gaze shifts back to his. Her heart races at the words tumbling from his lips. "I never thought I'd be capable of letting go of my first love, of my Milah, to believe that I could find someone else, that is, until I met you."
Her heart squeezes tight and she feels tears for no actual reason prickling at the surface of her eyes. She knows he's being serious, because of that deep, meaningful look in his eyes.
Emma takes a deep breath, like the moment before taking the plunge, and leans in close to him. He's warm and kind when he kisses her, not demanding a single thing from her.
And as she kisses him, for real this time, she feels something she isn't sure she's had in a very long time. She feels hope so tangible that she almost worries that it's too good to be true.