Lost in Mastication

It was lunch. Me and Vic were strolling on our way to the regular old coffee shop. On our way there somebody waved frantically at me from a window. The reflection from the glass, clouded by the sky, covered her in a gray misty veil, but after inspecting further I recognized the woman as Ruth. It was actually quite easy once I noticed the dry blue hair and blood red lips.

"Who is that?" Asked Vic "A girl I knew in highschool" I noticed that I had unintentionally said it with a bit of a reluctance, perhaps part of me didn't consider her as worthy of Vic's company? However, I had always tried not to be swayed by the trends and cliques of high school, so I nodded my head, to beckon Vic along to meet her. She sat in a small vegan diner, eating her tofu salad. Me and Vic arrived at her table, the two of us on one side, her on the other. I was amazed to find that this small creep-in was actually smaller than my apartment, on the other hand, there was a kitchen in a separate room behind the counter.

"So, you're out walking today?" Ruth smiled while brushing the napkin on her lips. "Yeah, Vic and me are not so big on the whole lunchbox, meal-prep lifestyle" It befell me that this was gonna be one of those conversations for conversation's sake, I could have spent this time eating silently next to Vic alone, indulging in mastication while deep in thought concerning whatever I might choose to fixate on in the moment.

Like how, due to recent trends in hair-styling, Vic's hair didn't seem to need combing. Or, something totally unrelated, but equally bewildering, like what the philosophical message behind structuring solar systems and atoms alike would be, and how this knowledge would benefit the daily lives of the ones who sought to reflect on it for long enough to gain some kind of divine enlightenment.

"Well, I sometimes bring a lunchbox with me too, if we're working on an assignment together in groups on campus or something" Said Ruth. Ah yes, this was the conversation worth having, the semantics of lunch boxes and when to use them, this could be another episode of the Morning Radio Today-show "What are you studying? If you are studying on a university" Vic asked. I payed attention to how he was so polite that he didn't even assume that she studied at the local university, I found this to be weird as such careful consideration was totally uncalled for.

However, I knew that on a deeper level he was simply demonstrating that he was approaching her with care and caution, she did seem like the sensitive artist type. "Well, its kind of hard to explain, we look into how factors such as gender and social status determines the outcome of..." I blurted out "Feminism!" and Vic immediately gave me that look when you know what is going on "Oh!".

Dining with Vegans

Ruth stirred her tofu salad with her fork for a while, then she sat her elbow in the table and grabbed her chin in a big thinker fashion "You know, I need feminism because of men who think they can just speak out over women..." Her eyes pointed at me, with playful annoyance "...and drown out others voices from being heard!" I looked out the window, this was probably just some bully tactic her gender studies professor had come up with while drinking red wine with her thirty cats and rotten ovaries.

I knew she tried to put me on the spot, but I just didn't care. I decided already the first time I saw Ruth that she was not somebody I ever wanted to marry or make love with, that was what made her safe enough to talk to. I could of course take Vic with me and leave right now, but perhaps some day in the future, the comfort of her friendship would be enough to just keep me going for a couple of more years, pretending that one day something was going to just come along and make everything better.

Yes, I was gonna play this like Vic started out, excuse her childish stupid behavior on her being the sensitive artist type, the type who colors their lips red and hair blue. "Oh jeez, oh man, I didn't mean to interrupt, but we're not dumb, we are just confirming we know what feminism is." I tried to tone it a bit down. "Oh see, now you're mansplaining. Besides, its not just feminism, its gender studies! Like, how gender influences wages and stuff" She said, as her mood immediately changed into ideologically driven angsty teenager mode.

"Isn't gender just a social construct?" I asked. "Uhm, sometimes, but not in terms of women wages" She was getting flustered and kept poking the tofu with the fork. "So, what kind of job can you get if you do gender studies?" Vic asked carefully, it felt good to hear him say something like that and internally go: "That is such a Vic thing to say", I was finally warming up to the concept of Vic. "I don't really know the specifics, but I imagine something like health, work environment, security, maybe something with an office, with a suit and some glasses, perhaps HR" She said.

"Well, there is lots of stuff that needs to be done about gender equality, I read this article about this poor girl in this third world country who spoke out against the inequality between men and women, and the entire family just beat the shit out of the poor child! So there is no doubt lots of things that need to be done, its a brave thing to do, these backwards theocratic governments will probably try to kill you for it" I repeated the point from yesterdays conversation.

It was a strange thing, I couldn't exactly picture Ruth fighting for women's equality against acid throwing patriarchal rape gangs in a third world countries. Her blue hair would contrast the camouflage on her bulletproof vest and helmet, kind of defeating its whole purpose, or perhaps blend in like a blue flower on a bush. But maybe she would go out all bald at that point, I had seen bald feminists before and they looked quite scary, like they would break into your apartment and eat all the carpets.

"Well, I think that is more like a cultural thing really" She said. "Well, aren't we all in one big multi-cultural global society now?" I asked her. "People are immigrating from all over, bringing their culture here, we almost don't have a common culture anymore,we're just one big melting pot, so we have to stand up for the values we collectively actually hold" I said. Vic licked his lips, he was getting into it "Ugh, I hate the immigrants flooding the labor-market, I know people with collage degrees who still work in the check-out counter in grocery stores".

Ruth thinkingly asked "Well, what gives us the right to change peoples cultural heritage and white wash it with the patriarchal culture from the white oppressive slave-owners of the past? How can this be paraded as a better alternative? It is basically just changing one oppressive structure with the other" I tried to give a quick reply, to me it seemed obvious "We don't cut off clitorises, we don't throw acid in women's faces and force them to dress up like black ghosts on warm summer days".

She laughed "Why is that cultural? there as certain areas of the world where they've not come further that have the same culture as elsewhere. We may not do exactly those things, but we do circumcise boys, its easy to judge everyone else, but there are other systems of oppression that we are totally unaware of" She concluded "Like what?" I asked her. "Like the gender pay-gap" she retorded. "Well, then why aren't you studying a stem-field? What kind of profit are you expecting to create with your women studies degree?".

She paused for a second "Okay, that there is a micro-aggression. You are slightly raising your voice, you are attacking my women studies, mansplaining about the pay-gap, if you're gonna be like this I would like for you to leave now" The room was filled with a heavy tension, as uncomfortable silence and insecurity about where to look seemed to seep in through the exposing windows.

Vic laughed and smiled "Okay okay, we actually have to leave now anyways, we need to go check out some groceries in the discount section, that is a pro-tip, better to buy during lunch, everything after work is over. Lunch time is the best time to shop for that fifty percent discount food, no offense, but we were just passing through, please excuse us" When she saw his smile the mood immediately changed, he had the happy bubble charisma and could change the tone of a room instantly. "Oh, well, don't let me keep you, I always get so into it when I am discussing social theory and such" Ruth didn't even seem salty anymore, she went straight into her familiar high-school nice girl mode. And like an escape artist he got us out of the vegan salad cave.

No Country for Old Virgins

"Is she your ex?" He asked me. "God no!" I said raising both of my eye brows. "But you have fucked her?" He said. "No-no! She is someone I know from high-school" I explained. "I went to high-school with a lot of people, I had a lot of friend too, most of them moved away. In fact, considering all the people I've ever been friends with since childhood, I've lost contact with almost everybody".

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the leaf covered sidewalk "Elementary doesn't last forever Vic". Vic looked up at the sky and all the gray clouds "Thats not what they told me, they told me friendship lasts forever" he sighed. "Well, then I am still friends with Ruth, you see how that is working out for me. Most people are just a hassle" I sighed. "Yeah, but I don't think your heart is in the right place" I looked over at Vic with a snarky smile "What do you know about that? You're only friends with a select few of the ones you ever knew, why even bother making many friends in the first place? In the end it didn't really matter".

Vic looked tired and fed up "I guess I'm a bit disappointed" he said. "Heh! Well I do get along fine with Ruth when she isn't all into parading her concerns regarding women's issues" I explained. "No, but its representing something deeper, there is a really deep issue here, between girls and boys, men and women. The culture and the genders." He paused to ponder before continiuing "It's like we're in a Mexican stand-off, we're just pointing our guns waiting for the war to begin."

Vic looked up to the sky- "It's like we're always negotiating everything. And the people who are nice and kind end up getting fucked over the worst, in the end we're gonna be left with nothing but jerks and bitches, radicals on both sides, then we're all gonna eat each other" I nodded, but said nothing. I was waiting for Vic to say something else, perhaps something uplifting, but he was all quiet, as of there were no silver linings here at all.

"Well, its not like we can destroy each other, men need women, women need men. They can claim the opposite all they want, but at some point people are gonna want to have children" I assured him, Vic smiled a little and looked over at me "That girl needs sex, so why is she still single?" He was referring to Ruth, I laughed, surely having a boyfriend to look pretty for and motivate her to think critically could give her a more balanced view of the world, one could hardly deny that she barely brushed her dry blue curls.

"Well, I am sure she will get a popular guy that she likes one day" I said, trying to place myself off that list in Victor's mind. "Well, what about the quality of that our future wives and husbands? Its a hook up culture, sex is like a handshake now a days" Vic complained. Deep inside I brushed off the notion that any girl I had ever been interested in, thinking about alone in bed, had lived the slut life of having the sex with other competing men. Intimate moments I so desired, gifted to jerks whom I despised by the very girls I was infatuated with.

"Isn't this what everybody wants these days?" I asked Vic, remembering the story he had told me about being out on weekends, fucking women in the bathroom stall. "I don't know, perhaps if we want it we ought to think of the consequences a bit more. Because there is a future coming, hows walking up that isle gonna feel like when all the guys have shagged your bride? If you ask a kid if they wanna eat nothing but cake and dessert for their entire life, perhaps some of them will say yes, but that doesn't mean its gonna be a cakewalk or good for you" He asked me.

"What if it is a healthy and very nutritional cake?" I suggested jokingly "I think you're talking about dinner, a well prepared dinner, like pizza." he snickered, "They are kind of opposites, like casual sex and committed emotionally invested relationships". I looked up at the gray cloudy sky, it was autumn, the leaves rustled against the sidewalk. Me and Vic went and got ourselves a sandwich with some chocolate milk on a local store, it was a bit like having friends in school again for me, I hoped Vic felt the same way.

The premises set to us as children

Were all the lies diverting us

From the terrible world

We were cast into