"I've gotta' be honest, when you asked if I wanted to get out of there I assumed you wanted to do something a little different…" I trailed off with a suggestive wave of my hand. Jace grinned mischievously and popped a French fry into his mouth with a half shrug.
"You didn't think I was going to let you have your wicked way with me without a date, did you? Get your mind out of the gutter, Fray. I'm an innocent maiden." His knee knocked playfully against mine under the table and the look he gave me was anything but innocent.
"Sure you are, Casanova." I said with a sarcastic smile. I moved my attention to the cheeseburger in the basket in front of me- anything to distract myself from Jace and my own sordid thoughts for a few seconds- and took a large bite out of it. I sighed happily as I chewed, my eyes wide.
"A'ts 'mahhing." I moaned with my mouth still full. Jace laughed loudly.
"I'm sorry, what was that? I don't speak Glutton." he joked, cocking his eyebrow. I rolled my eyes as hard as I could with my hand over my mouth. I tried to chew and swallow the mouthful as quickly as possible but he propped his chin on his palm with an amused look, waiting for me to finish.
"Whenever you're ready, Clary."
"'That's amazing'" I said eventually with a grin, patting my mouth dry with a napkin I'd swiped from the table. He nodded in agreement and leaned back in his chair, looking pleased with himself.
"I told you it would be worth it, didn't I? Oh, ye of little faith."
He was right, he had promised me just that. After a hasty round of goodbyes and more than a little teasing from my friends, Jace and I had escaped into the fresh night air outside of Pandemonium and hailed the first available cab we could find. We'd tumbled into the back seat, struggling to keep our hands off of each other, but he'd managed to tear himself away long enough to give the driver directions. All the while his hand had trailed absently along the inside of my lower thigh and my body had reacted like it was a livewire. By the time the cab finally came to a halt, I was practically humming.
He'd made a fuss of opening the door to help me out of the car, but as soon as the cab had pulled away he'd tugged me none too gently into the darkness of a nearby alleyway and pressed me against the wall with a fierce kiss. When we broke apart, my head was spinning.
Much to my surprise, we'd actually been dropped off outside of a small twenty-four-hour diner in Prospect Heights. He grinned knowingly at my confused face and led me through the doors with one final lingering kiss on the corner of my mouth, insisting it would be worth it. My initial disappointment had quickly subsided the second my nose caught the scent of fried food in the air and my stomach growled loudly, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Jace. He poked fun at me incessantly for five minutes before we placed our orders in a fit of laughter. By the time the food arrived, it was creeping close to four in the morning, but I was more awake than I had any right to be.
I took another, much smaller, bite of my burger and gave him a considered look as I chewed.
"Do you come here often?" I asked, thinking back to the friendly way he'd greeted the older man behind the counter and his insistent menu recommendations. He caught my eye, smiling faintly, and my heart stuttered. He nodded.
"Couple times a week, usually. My apartment isn't far from here."
"Is this where you bring all your dates? Your place is close by and that first date line was pretty smooth..." I gave him a playful look, only half joking but entirely curious. His lips curled into a full-blown grin as he plucked at the corners of the paper napkin in front of him. The stutter turned in to pounding in my chest.
"For your information, that wasn't a line. You'd know if that was a line." He said confidently as he pushed the rolled shirt sleeves back up his forearms. My mind wandered for a moment, thinking about how it had felt to have them wrapped around my waist. I blinked and cleared my throat.
"You didn't answer the question." I pointed out as I leaned across the table to snatch a fry from his basket. I tossed it into my mouth and raised my eyebrows, waiting for his answer.
"I've never brought a girl here." He said smoothly, without missing a beat.
"I feel so special." I joked but admittedly I did feel more than a little relieved that I wasn't taking up the seat of a long line of ghosts of girlfriends' past. Jace was extremely attractive, there was no denying that, and he seemed to have the personality to match… give or take his fondness for irony and what could be classed as shameless overconfidence at times. I wasn't naïve enough to think that he hadn't been with women in the past, but it was nice to know I wasn't part of some recycled go-to date before bed routine.
He smiled and waved his hand dismissively.
"Well, it's not exactly a fancy restaurant, but you have to admit my choices were kind of limited at this time in the morning. It's the diner or bust for you this round, Fray." His voice was airy, but his grin challenged me to deny it.
I scoffed, "Give me diner or give me death, I say."
He laughed and knocked his soda against mine.
"Words to live by."
"So is that what this is, then?" I confirmed curiously after we'd eaten in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, "The official first date?"
"Well yeah, I'd say so – wouldn't you? We're here specifically for a romantic rendezvous. I think that's kind of the definition of a date." He reasoned brightly, brandishing a fry at me, "And I don't know if you've noticed, but…" he lowered his voice and leaned in close, beckoning me towards him with a finger as if he was telling me a secret, "I'm trying extremely hard to woo you." His eyes glittered.
"Is that what you've been doing all this time?" I gasped in mock shock, holding my hand to my chest, "Gee, I didn't notice."
"You sure know how to make a guy feel good." He simpered. I smiled as I took a sip of soda through my straw.
"I do try."
"So how am I doing?" He asked, the lazy smile back on his face.
I shrugged nonchalantly, "With the wooing? Oh, I don't know, maybe like a solid six out of ten?"
He frowned, "A six? That's impossible. Surely I'm on an eight point five at least by now. Have I not wooed you enough? Because I can dial that up a notch if I need to."
I laughed with a shrug, "I'm open to being wooed some more."
"Say no more. I'm only just getting started." He said with finality, "Finish eating, Clary. We've got places to be."
Twenty minutes later we left the diner after saying goodnight to Tony, the owner. He waved us off, telling Jace he'd have plenty of fresh coffee in the morning. Jace thanked him with a crooked smile and promised to see him soon.
We wandered down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace, something that could only be accomplished at that time in the morning. Everything felt like it was finally starting to become still – as still as possible in New York, at least. It was a weird feeling, almost like the city was in an eerie kind of suspension that I didn't see very often. There were a handful of people on the street aside from us; another couple argued animatedly outside of a dry cleaner and a lone man passed by us on an early morning jog. A young mother sat in her pyjamas on the stoop outside her apartment, shushing a baby. She returned my smile tiredly as we passed and continued cooing at the baby in her arms.
The sky was fighting a losing war between night and day, the sun not quite ready to rise just yet but it threatened its imminent victory with a thin band of pale blue on the horizon. I shivered against the early morning breeze and nestled into Jace's side almost unconsciously as we turned off the main street into a residential area. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer.
"Cold?" he asked, rubbing the gooseflesh on my arms.
"A little." I nodded.
"We'll be there soon." He explained. I glanced up at him.
"Where exactly are we going?"
He gave me an almost uncomfortable look and slowed his pace, letting his arm drop to his side.
"My apartment. Is that okay?"
I huffed out a laugh, "Sure, that's fine."
He grimaced apologetically and said, "Sorry, I should have asked first."
"It's fine. I can't wait to take these heels off." I groaned, and he chuckled.
"Why don't you just take them off now?" he and glanced down at my feet. They were throbbing angrily in the heels Isabelle had forced on me and it almost felt like they'd become fused to my body. I shook my head with a wrinkled nose.
"What if I get glass in my foot? I've got enough injuries for one night, thank you very much" I protested, pulling him forward by the hand as he laughed softly.
"I'll carry you."
I snorted, "No way, no more carrying." I remembered back to how he'd picked me up in the bathroom and my minds eye quickly played snapshots of everything that had followed… and I blushed fuchsia. Perceptive as always, Jace flashed me a knowing grin.
"Fine, but we should get going so you can set your feet free from their patent leather prison."
True to his word, we arrived at his place a few minutes later. I looked up at the impressive, modern apartment complex in front of me and let out a low whistle.
"Very fancy."
He swiped a key card against a small panel and a set of automatic glass doors slid open. He pushed me inside gently, his hand on the small of my back, and I took a look around the entrance. It had a classy neutral décor with glossy mosaic tiled flooring, and a doorman sat with a beat-up paperback at a small desk besides the entrance. He raised a hand in greeting as we arrived. Jace gave him a warm smile in return and directed me to the side of the lobby where he pressed a button to call the elevator.
"Just so you know, I'm like… at least thirteen percent more attracted to you just because I don't have to take the stairs. Consider this a seven out of ten." I whispered while we waited, and he laughed quietly.
"If I'd known you were this easy to impress, I would have skipped the diner altogether." He joked just as the bell rang, signalling the elevators arrival. We stepped inside and he swiped for the fifth floor. I leaned against the cool railing and regarded him with a smile.
"Imagine if someone had told us we'd be doing this the last time we were in an elevator together? I'd have told them to pass whatever they were smoking."
Jace made a noncommittal noise and grinned, "What're we doing, exactly?"
I blinked, "We're on a date. We're having a good time. You're wooing me."
He gave me a half smile, "Thanks. Just wanted to hear you admit it."
I bit back a grin and we rode the elevator in silence for a few moments. I was studying the safety notice when he next spoke.
"I knew."
Our eyes met, and my stomach flipped at the look he gave me. I cleared my throat.
"You did, huh? So confident in your powers of seduction, are you?"
He edged closer to me, "I told you, I'm pretty persistent." His smile was wolfish. I jutted my chin and held my ground.
He took another step and leaned in close, his face not even an inch away from my own. His lips brushed mine just as the elevator bell rang, and the doors slid open quietly. He held my gaze for a second before he pulled away.
"C'mon." he said smoothly. He wrapped his hand firmly around mine and we walked the short distance from the elevator to his apartment door in silence. With one final swipe of his key, he pushed the door open and I stepped inside his home as the lights flickered to life.
My immediate thoughts were that I was struck by the fact that it was exceptionally clean; spotless, yes, but the design too. The walls were stark white against oak flooring, pale taupe furniture rested on neutral rugs, and the windows that stretched from floor to ceiling at the back of the room were flanked by pale curtains.
That being said, the majority of the colour in the room came from a wonderful row of bookcases that lined an entire wall, full of colourful volumes and artefacts. An upright electric piano took up another corner of the room; the sheet music that was scattered over the top of it was the only thing in there that looked haphazardly placed.
"This is so cool." I said breathlessly with wide eyes. Jace stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly.
"Thanks… make yourself at home."
I nodded quickly and took a seat on one of the sofa's so I could kick my shoes off. I sighed loudly when my feet were finally free and wiggled my toes.
"Better?" Jace laughed. I nodded with my eyes closed.
"Honestly, this feels even better than that burger tasted. All I need now is to get out of this dress." I picked up one of my feet and massaged the arch with my thumbs.
It took an embarrassingly long time for my brain to process what I'd said but when I finally looked up, utterly horrified, Jace was biting his lip to fight back his laughter. I blinked quickly and dropped my foot.
"I didn't mean it like that! Oh my God, I just meant-"
He laughed openly, the corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement, "You don't need to throw yourself at me so aggressively, you know. If you just asked nicely…" his laughter only grew louder as the pillow I'd launched across the living room hit him square in the face.
"You're insufferable." I told him with a pout. He tossed the pillow back on to the sofa and flashed me a dazzling smile.
"Relax. Can I get you a sweatshirt and some shorts or something? They'll be huge, but if you're uncomfortable it's better than nothing."
I chewed my lip, embarrassed, but nodded all the same, "If that's okay?"
"Sure, come with me." he pulled me up off the sofa with both hands and led me out of the living room, through the solid archway in the wall that led to his bedroom. I took a moment to look around while he rummaged through neatly organised draws in the closet.
Like with the living room, the walls in his room were white but there were a few cool frames of old movie posters hanging up around the bed. There were more bookshelves, this time some were filled with vinyl records and what looked like study books for work and sheet music. I sat slowly on the deep blue bedsheets, my attention caught by two framed photographs on the nightstand.
In the first, a slightly younger Jace stood in front of a Christmas tree wearing a gaudy festive sweater. He was flanked by an attractive older couple and two young children – a girl and a boy – who were all wearing similar getups. The dark-haired man was laughing openly, ruffling Jace's hair. He looked a little embarrassed but happy as he smiled into the camera.
In the second photo, a much younger Jace stood by the legs of a beautiful, fair-haired woman. His mom, I assumed, given the striking resemblance they shared. She smiled straight into the camera, but I could see melancholy in her face; even though the photograph was a little grainy with age, I could still see that the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. After a moment I realised that the photograph had been folded in half in the frame, cutting off the rest of the picture. I could just about make out another person's arm off to the side and the tips of short blond hair.
"Will these do?" Jace said from across the room. I twisted on the bed with a start to see him holding up a baggy grey college sweater and some gym shorts.
"Great, thanks." I smiled.
He handed them over and we shared a long look before he backed towards the archway, ruffling his hair.
"Okay… I'll be in the living room." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.
"Do you mind if I use the bathroom?" I asked before he disappeared around the corner.
"Sure, it's just that door on your right." He explained, then glanced quickly at his watch, "Just to warn you, you have about fifteen minutes."
"Until what?" I asked, but he simply smiled and wandered away, "Until what, Jace?" I called after him again but the only response I got was the sound of his low chuckle.
I smiled to myself as I closed the bathroom door and placed the clothes on the counter. I turned to my reflection in the mirror and took stock of the purple bruise flowering on my chin. It was tender, but not unbearable. It would probably fade and disappear after a couple of days.
I ran my fingers through my hair to clear some of the tangles that had gathered and carefully rubbed the remnants of my lipstick off with a damp piece of toilet paper, not wanting to get lip stain all over the washcloth that was resting against the sink. I considered going for the rest of my makeup, but quickly decided against it. No way in hell was I getting that eyeliner off without proper products and having clumps of toilet paper stuck to my face didn't seem like an attractive move.
Eager to get the tight dress off my body, I spent the next five minutes or so struggling against the zipper on my dress. No matter how hard I yanked, it just wouldn't budge. Eventually I gave up and collapsed in defeat on the toilet seat.
I chewed my lip for a long moment before I slowly stood up again. I huffed out a breath and opened the bathroom door, leaning around the wooden frame.
"Hey Jace…?" I called, already feeling the heat rising in my cheeks.
"Yeah?" he yelled back from somewhere in the apartment. I heard his footsteps slowly approach the bedroom.
"Could you help me with the, um, with the zipper on my dress? I think it's caught."
"Sure." He said as he appeared around the doorway. I turned around without meeting his eyes and moved my hair over my shoulder out of the way.
His breath was warm on my neck as he muttered, "Hold still."
He fumbled against the material for a moment, pulling it this way and that to get a better look. After what felt like an eternity, I felt the zip finally give way around the snagged material, and he gently pulled the zip down the length of my back. I was suddenly hyper aware of the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra beneath the dress and, judging by the ever so slight intake of breath, so was he.
"There." He said finally. His hands lingered on the small of my back, his fingertips warm and soft against my skin. I leaned into his touch with my eyes closed for a second, before I stepped away.
"Thanks." I forced the word out of my mouth and smiled over my shoulder, "I'll be out in a minute."
He nodded silently and stepped out of the bathroom. After the door had closed behind him with a soft click, I shook my head and pushed the dress down my body. I wiggled it over my hips, and it landed in a heap on the floor.
I quickly pulled on the shorts, making sure to yank the drawstring as tightly as I could before I knotted it in a hasty bow so they would stay up around my waist. Finally, I pulled the sweater over my head and hugged it to my body; it fell to my thighs, and smelled distinctly like Jace and fabric softener. I rolled the cuffs up so the arms weren't quite so long and glanced back at my reflection in the mirror with a laugh. I looked like a child in adults clothes.
I padded my way out of the bathroom and back through to the living room, screwing the dress up between my hands. Jace glanced up from his seat on the sofa and smiled.
"Better?" he asked. I nodded with a grateful smile.
"Much, thanks." I placed the dress on the arm of the chair with my abandoned purse and stood awkwardly in front of him, not sure where to put myself, "Is this the part where you tell me what you're up to?"
He laughed as he stood up, directing me quietly towards the windows which I realised doubled up as sliding doors to a small outdoor balcony area. He took my hand as I stepped out on to the deck and guided me towards a deep green blanket that had been spread out on the ground. It was surrounded by piles of mismatched pillows, with two wine glasses filled with orange juice on a tray off to the side, balancing on an upturned empty plant pot.
I glanced between it and him with an incredulous smile.
"Did you just set this up?"
He shrugged and rocked on his heels, his hands back in his pockets, "Maybe."
I smiled and hopped lightly over the pillows, still holding his hand, and lowered myself down on to the blanket. He followed suit and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing one over the other as he leaned back on his elbows.
"Jace Herondale, are you a hopeless romantic?" I turned on my side to get a better look at him.
"Honestly? Not usually." He smirked and reached for the orange juice. He handed a glass to me before he took another quick glance at his watch.
"Got somewhere to be?" I joked.
"Nope, nowhere but here." He said with a lazy smile. He looked off into the distance, through the glass panels on the edge of the balcony. We sat in silence like that for a minute or so before he shifted at my side. He pushed himself upright, pulling me with him so I ended up nestled between his legs. He brushed my hair over my shoulder.
"Ready?" his lips touched against the exposed skin on my neck. I turned as best as I could to raise an eyebrow at him quizzically.
"For what?"
"For that." He said simply, pointing out into the distance.
I followed the direction of his finger and caught the moment the sun broke through the horizon with perfect timing and let out a soft gasp. Vivid hues of gold, orange, purple and pink began to bleed into the fading darkness, slowly erasing the dark ink from the night sky. The colour illuminated the city inch by inch, bathing it in a hazy glow which grew more and more radiant the higher the sun climbed. I set my glass down and rose to my knees to get a better look.
"Okay," I turned to face him after a while with a sigh, "You win. You just got your ten out of ten. Consider me wooed."
He said nothing but he watched me with fascination, paying absolutely no attention to the sunrise behind me. The golden morning light had saturated his hair, his skin, his eyes, and for a long moment I could do nothing but look at him as well.
"What?" I asked eventually, feeling more than a little self-conscious. I tugged at the bottom of the sweater and chewed my lip. His observation of me was careful; his eyes slowly surveyed my face, lingering for a long time on my lips before they flicked up again to meet my gaze. My heart hammered in my chest as my hands twitched unconsciously, like they wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him.
As if he had read my mind, one of his hands crossed the small distance between us and his fingers gently traced my lips.
"Where the hell have you been?" he asked as if he was in awe. My breath hitched but I remained quiet. I couldn't find words, and even if I'd known what to say in return I wouldn't have been able to break the electric silence that hung between us now.
His voice was rough and quiet when he eventually spoke again.
"C'mere."
I didn't need to be asked twice; that was all I needed for my body to thaw. My mouth met his in an instant as I fell against him, shifting so my legs straddled his hips. He pulled me close on his lap as his hands roamed across my body and I cupped his face with my own. We kissed slowly, the urgency from earlier in the night all but gone. My mouth trailed his lips, his jaw, his neck, any piece of exposed skin it could find, while he whispered beautiful words in my ear.
"Should we… go inside…?" I asked against his mouth when I felt his hands hesitate against the bare skin of my abdomen beneath the sweater. He answered with his actions and he pushed us up off the ground with me still wrapped around his body like a vine. I shrieked a startled laugh against his mouth and tightened my grip, clinging on to him for dear life. He carefully navigated us back into the living room and pushed me up against the glass for leverage as he closed the door behind us, his mouth never leaving mine.
"Put me down," I laughed quietly as he started walking across the room.
"Not a chance." he breathed against my collarbone as he readjusted me in his grip, looking up at me with hooded eyes. We passed under the archway into his bedroom, but his step faltered as we approached the bed, and he met my eyes. The question was clear even before he managed to say the words.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
The truth was, I hadn't wanted something more in an exceptionally long time, and the certainty that came with that thought was more than a little scary. Every part of my body wanted this, and as we clung together in his room, barely a foot away from the bed, I realised just how much I wanted it to be with him.
There were infinite reasons why this was a bad idea. We'd known each other for no time at all. It was fast. I knew next to nothing about him, not really. In the space of around three seconds my brain flitted between every single 'what if' scenario I could think of.
What if it didn't work out? What if he hurt me? What if I hurt him?
But for once I wasn't sure the 'what if's' were really worth thinking about. Regardless of all the questions, there was something. I knew I wasn't imagining it. I knew that it didn't really matter how long I'd known him because it was entirely possible to know someone your whole life and never really know them. What I felt now already felt it could be more tangible than what I'd felt in years of knowing and loving Sebastian. It wasn't to say that those feelings weren't real or meaningful because they were - they had been. But with Jace I felt like I was in on the joke. He made me feel nervous, overwhelmed, exhausted.
Capable.
Beautiful.
Important.
He made me feel something different.
I was scared. Scared of him, myself, scared of making a mistake and yes, admittedly some small part of me was scared of what Sebastian might think. But as soon as the fear had risen it's ugly face, I swallowed it down. It wasn't worth it.
I'd spent my whole life trying to avoid making mistakes, trying to be perfect, attempting to predict every single Bad Thing before it could happen, but the truth was that bad things tended to happen if you want them to or not. Trying to be perfect hadn't stopped Sebastian from falling in love with someone else. It hadn't stopped the heartache I'd felt like a pit in my stomach. All it had done was stop me from fully enjoying a life I had every right to fuck up and fix on my own terms.
As I searched Jace's face in the early morning light, I was struck by a realisation that for every 'what if' that popped into my head, my heart whispered back insistently.
But, what if…?
I had no way of knowing in advance if this was something, nothing, or a little in-between, but as Maia had told me, finding out was part of the fun. It might not work out, I might get hurt along the way, but I'd recover.
After an agonizingly long moment, I finally nodded my head.
"This is what I want, Jace."
His tensed arms relaxed, and he let out a long breath as his name left my mouth. He caught my lips hard against his and kissed me deeply, whispering words I couldn't quite make out against my skin. My hands flew to his hair, and I could feel his smile against my jaw as he pressed his mouth against any skin he came into contact with.
Gradually, agonizingly slowly, he lowered me to the bed.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know your thoughts in the reviews! As always, stay safe everyone! G