Chapter 21 - Honesty

"He's finally awake."

Anakin was smiling over both ears as he entered their apartment in 500 Republica. It was nice to share some good news after all this time. Surprised, Padme looked over to him from her place on the couch, having heard his unusual happy voice. The knight shrugged out of his robe and chucked off his boots by the door.

"What did you say?", she asked puzzled as Anakin came over and sat down next to her, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"I said that our sleeping beauty decided to wake up at last after half a year", he chuckled. Obi-Wan would surely have his head if he ever found out that he referred to him like that.

"Oh Ani, that's great!" Padme beamed at this revelation. "How is he though?"

"The first time he woke up he was so confused that the doctors had to sedate him again. Apparently, he mistook me for Dooku", Anakin said, turning serious, "I don't even remember having seen him that terrified before. It scared me, to be honest." Obi-Wan was never afraid, at least that was what Anakin had always thought.

"The second time he was more consciously aware of his surroundings. He was pretty shocked when Ahsoka and me told him about his coma", he snorted as he continued, "well, I think that's to be expected. I would not have blamed him if he had simply fainted again at this point. He then told me what he remembered from the encounter…"

Anakin bit his lips, not knowing how to say it. Out of habit, he started fidgeting with his fingers again. His wife seemed to catch on his sudden change of demeanor and grasped his hand to keep it still. Her brown eyes looked directly at him, displaying deepening concern.

"What did he tell you, Anakin?", she whispered.

Pressing his mouth into a thin line, he gently caressed her belly with his free hand. His kids were soon to be born. Sighing, he returned her gaze. "The Sith… they're after me. Killing Obi-Wan was supposed to be their way to get through to me." He lowered his head in shame, Anakin wouldn't be able to look at himself if their plan had actually succeeded.

"It's not your fault."

"That's what he told me too."

"Then you should know that Obi-Wan is right with this one."

He only gave a small nod in response, his thoughts drifting. "What if they try to take our children?", he then asked after a few seconds of silence, "they're powerful in the Force, I can feel it."

"You wouldn't let it come to that."

"I let them get to Obi-Wan."

Padme squeezed her husband's hand tighter and drew closer. "He knows how to hold his own, Anakin. Everyone in the galaxy knows how well you two work together. Of course, they'll try to separate you. That doesn't mean that either of you is at fault when they manage just that for once. You're not invincible, only human, Ani."

"I know", he breathed, "and I don't know what I'll do when they succeed again, but one of us doesn't return, Padme. I'll lose myself."

It was worrisome to hear something like that from her otherwise so proud and strong knight.

"You really should talk about all of this with Obi-Wan."

"I'm going to in the evening. If he's awake then… I won't stress him further than necessary. Who knows, the old man really needs the rest."

This earned him a small laugh from his wife. "You know he will get back at you for that at some time?"

"What for?", Anakin grinned and lifted his eyebrows, "he is old, he just has to get that in his head yet."

It was an old joke between them and he knew that Obi-Wan was more annoyed than really hurt from being called that. He let his gaze wander until he noticed something laying on the table next to the couch. It looked like a picture which had been turned around.

"What's this?", he asked and made to grab it. To his surprise, Padme, highly pregnant and definitely not the most agile person right now, snatched it away from right under him before he even got a glimpse on it. She smiled and held the photo concealed to her chest.

"I actually had a little surprise for you. Close your eyes."

Anakin smirked but complied to her wish. Holding out his hands, he felt how the picture was placed inside.

"You can look now."

As the jedi opened his eyes, he needed a moment to fully understand what he was looking at. An ultrasound photo. He was looking at his unborn children.

"Wow", he mouthed in awe, while he traced the picture with his fingers.

"We're expecting a boy and a girl, Ani", Padme said, leaning on him and her hand combing through his hair.

"That's so incredible."

She chuckled. "Soon we'll be able to welcome Luke and Leia into this world."

They had discussed the twins names a little while ago, weighing up different options, dependent on the children's genders.

"Can I keep the picture?", Anakin mumbled, still fixed on it.

"I especially made a copy just for you to keep."

"Thanks. You're the best." Anakin tucked the picture safely away inside his tunics and engulfed Padme in a hug, kissing her gently.

As he took a look on the chrono on the wall, he realized he only got a few hours left if he wanted to visit the Healing Halls. Master Che wouldn't let him in anymore if it were too late.

"I think I have to go now, if I want to catch up with Obi-Wan."

" 'course, Ani. Say hello from me?"

Anakin stood up from his place and placed a swift kiss to her cheek. "Will do, I think I'll be back tomorrow together with Ahsoka."

He left the block a few minutes later, making his way back to the jedi temple with his speeder.

He was relieved to get rid of most of the many cables and tubes occupying his body. The only machines that remained now were keeping tabs on his heart function. Master Che had woken him up in the middle of the late afternoon to make some tests concerning his tremors. Begrudgingly, he had complied, letting the Twi'lek healer attach some pads to his head and following her instructions. After what felt like an eternity, she finished.

"That's it. The test is complete." Almost gently for a healer, she pulled off the sticking pads from his temples. Obi-Wan grimaced as the adhesive tugged a little on the scar tissue on the side of his face. He was starting to feel like the subject of an experiment. Knowing that an escape from this place wasn't possible yet, he hoped that at least the constant poking and tests were soon to stop. How much he wished for the soothing silence and solitude of his quarters right now.

Clenching his still trembling hands, he watched as Master Che examined the collected data. After a while, she put the chart aside and looked at him with a non-readable expression.

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at her face. "What? Is it that terrible?", he asked dryly.

"Well, it's not the best", she began, "the tremors are neurologically caused, which means they won't disappear as long your brain doesn't recover fully. But I think with therapy we will be able to help you to regain control of your hands. I can't promise you though, that the trembling will stop completely."

"Will I be able to fight again?" It was the only question that really mattered to him. 'If I can wield a lightsaber again, then I can figure the other things as well', he mused to himself.

"You'll have to relearn to adjust to your body", she tapped slightly on his bad leg, "as long as you know your limits, you'll be fine. So, yes, I'm optimistic that you'll be able to fight again. Tomorrow we start with your physio therapy."

Which meant leaving this blasted room for once in a while. Even if it was just to the rehabilitation rooms. Obi-Wan leaned back and closed his eyes. The pounding headache still had to fade; the medications the healers gave him dulled the pain a great deal but they didn't erase it completely. "At least that's some good news for once", he hummed.

As they were talking, a padawan came into the room, carrying a tray with food. Or more likely the nutritious that were meant to keep him alive. As the tray was placed on the table next to the bed, Obi-Wan refrained from calling its meager contents food. Apart from not feeling very hungry, the broth, which contained some kind of vegetables, and the few pieces of rusk next to it didn't look really appealing to him.

"Somehow, I imagined my first meal after half a year a little more….", he took a closer look at the cup containing the broth, trying to tell what its actual contents were, "identifiable?" Still not happy with what he was seeing, Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose.

"Your stomach isn't used to solid food anymore. You have to take preference with this particular diet for a few days, I'm afraid." Although she was smiling at him, Obi-Wan knew that she took pleasure in messing with her patients. All healers were like that. Jedi or not.

Glinting at her, he said nothing as he snatched one of the small rusks from the plate and stuffed it into his mouth.

Chuckling at his expression, she motioned at the cup. "I want that gone as well. Don't worry, it's no Hoi-broth." With that she left him sitting on the bed, glaring daggers in her back.

As the door slid shut, Obi-Wan bit down on the rusk, which earned him a rather loud cracking sound as the hard bread gave in. How much he hated that the healers knew absolutely everything about their patients. He couldn't wait to finally leave this place.

A few minutes later he had turned his attention to the cup. Sighing, he grabbed it with both hands to keep it as steady as possible. The liquid inside still moved slightly from his trembling hands.

Anakin found him like this, staring into the broth as if some kind of hidden wisdom were to be found on the bottom of the cup.

"What you've got there, master?", his friend asked as he entered the room.

"You tell me." Obi-Wan looked up and tilted the cup slightly, so that Anakin could peek inside.

"Ugh", his former padawan's face scrunched up, "I surely don't envy you for that dinner."

"I'm not even sure if this is better or worse than ration bars", he mumbled and took a sip. As the broth flowed down his throat, the jedi master still couldn't tell what it tasted like. Definitely not good. Not that he cared about that anymore. He didn't have another choice. Resigning himself, he finished the cup and placed it back on the tray.

In the meantime, Anakin had taken his seat in his least favorite chair. The plastoid creaked a little as he leaned back. Obi-Wan could tell that his apprentice wasn't here just to keep him company. Even though his friend was shielding towards the outward world he could feel the uneasiness leaking through their bond.

"What's bothering you, Anakin?"

The knight snorted. "Old habits die hard, hm? But yes, you're right", he leaned forward and propped his arms up on his legs, then turned his head to look at him, "I actually came to tell you something."

"So, are you going to tell me?", Obi-Wan asked amused, "Or do I have to wait to find out on accident again?"

"No", Anakin laughed, "I made a promise after all." He pulled something out of his tunics and held it out for him. "I actually have no idea how to say this, so you may just want to look at this."

A little irritated, he grabbed what he first thought was a piece of flimsi. As it turned out, it was a photograph or more likely the result a scan. An Ultrasonic.

His eyes went wide, as he discerned what he was looking at. The only reason for Anakin having this picture was that Padme was pregnant. Which only meant one thing.

Anakin was the father.

"Obi-Wan?", his friend asked nervously after a while, since the silence had fallen upon them, "are you going to say something?"

Still holding on to the picture, the jedi master let his eyes trace over it once again before he finally looked at Anakin again.

"I don't know what you expect from me now, but I guess congratulations are in order, my friend." Giving a small smile, he held the picture out to his friend again. "I hope you're prepared for fatherhood."

His former apprentice gawked at him, slowly taking back the photo. Shaking his head in confusion, Anakin nearly fell over his own words. "You're not mad or something?! I mean I broke the code and everything… how can you be so calm about this?"

"Why should I?", Obi-Wan shrugged with his shoulders, "I've always known that you found comfort in the presence of your friends and family. It doesn't surprise me that you wanted to have one of your own, since the jedi never really provided you with one." He had tried to be there for Anakin, but it hadn't been the same as they didn't really have a choice on that matter then. Obi-Wan knew that his padawan had always longed for a family, as he actually had one before he joined the jedi order.

Sometimes he wondered what it was like to know his parents. He knew that he had been abandoned soon after his birth somewhere in Stewjon's capital. Some trespasser had found him by chance and had brought him to the hospital. And as the search for his parents led to nothing, they had assigned him to the local orphanage. Not soon after he had shown his signs of force sensitivity, so it didn't take long before he had been picked up by the jedi.

Anakin's shoulders sagged in relief. "Thanks", he simply said, "I don't feel ready though. How am I supposed to care for my kids when I can't even look after Ahsoka?"

"You might remember that I didn't do much better when you first became my padawan, Anakin. It's a thing you have to grow into. And from what I am seeing, Ahsoka is turning out just fine. You'll be a good father."

"And if I don't know what to do?"

"You're always welcome to ask for help, my dear padawan", Obi-Wan grinned.

Laughing on the small gibe, Anakin studied the man who was like a father for him. It was goof to know that someone was standing with him in this. "How does being an uncle to Luke and Leia sound to you then?"

Eyes glistening with happiness, Obi-Wan chuckled as he answered. "I'd be honored."

His padawan nodded shortly and smiled. Then his expression turned again into something between worry and fear. "There are two more things I'd like to discuss… Firstly, what about the Council? They will expel me when they find out. And secondly… I'm afraid that the Sith might target my children."

He sat up straighter on the bed, contemplating on Anakin's words. "Concerning your path with the jedi…", Obi-Wan trailed off a little, "I guess you should think about what you really want, Anakin. Do you want to stay or do you want to leave with Padme and your children? Regardless of how you choose, I'll support your decision."

"I'd like to have both, I suppose", the knight mumbled, "I won't leave you or Ahsoka as long as the war is going on. But I also want to be there for my family as well."

"I see", he hummed silently and scratched the stubbles on his chin, "you don't need to worry about the council, you're far too valuable to simply be expelled. Also, at least the last time I actually attended to a council meeting; we had a debate on the non-attachment rule. More and more jedi seem to disagree with that one. Maybe the code is changing." Obi-Wan's blue-grey eyes locked on Anakin's clear blue ones. "It won't be easy for you though; you will have to constantly choose between your duties to the jedi and your family. There will be a time where you can't uphold to both, so you may have to set your priorities, as hard as that sounds now."

Anakin leaned back in his chair and grimaced. "I know. That's what worries me. You of all people know that I'm terrible at thinking straight when it comes to things like that."

Yes, Obi-Wan did. His padawan had always been known to make rash decisions when his emotions got the better of him. Nevertheless, it was surprising to him that Anakin admitted his flaws. The young man had definitely changed a lot.

He shook his head. "I'm honest, I don't really have an advice for that. I could tell you that you should only follow the Force or that you should suppress your emotions. But considering everything that happened over the past months… those feel like old platitudes. More so, they even feel wrong."

Obi-Wan would be a hypocrite if he told that he always got his emotions in check. "From what I experienced, it's impossible to get rid of your emotions." And oh stars, how long he had tried to accomplish that. "You should accept them, but don't let them overpower your judgment. Let yourself be guided by the Force, but remember that you're the one who has to pull the trigger in the end."

As a padawan he had sometimes wished that Qui-Gon wouldn't have listened to the Force without an ulterior motive. Or maybe he should have listened more intently to understand its whispers correctly. It would have spared the both of them a lot of pain.

Anakin was looking at him with wide eyes. "I don't think you ever spoke so openly about the Code with me."

"It was about time."

"Honestly Obi-Wan, I don't know how to thank you."

"Then don't", the jedi master laughed, "there is no need to do so anyway."

"Bantha poodoo! Of course, there is!", Anakin exclaimed, "Without you I probably wouldn't even be a jedi! …You made me into the man I am today. And I realized almost too late how much you meant to me."

Obi-Wan was taken aback a little. The only other person who ever openly admitted their affection to him had been Satine. 'You still have to call her', a voice somewhere in the back of his mind whispered.

"I don't know if I told you that before, but you're like a brother to me, Anakin. You've always been family." 'Even though you pushed me out for a long time' went unspoken.

A comfortable silence between them before Anakin spoke again. "What are we going to do about that Sith lord?"

"We can't face him head-on. If we want to have a chance, we need time to prepare and come up with a plan. Also, I'm not really up for a fight right now."

Sighing, his former padawan rubbed his temple. "Guess you're right. Let's just hope he isn't a step ahead of us again."

"As soon as our Sith lord makes another move, we will know. We have jedi keeping their eyes open all over Coruscant. He won't escape."

"I hope so. I don't want him near my children", Anakin muttered, not quite happy with the answer.

When the door suddenly opened, both men thought that Master Che was back again. To their relief, it was only Ahsoka, who had decided to stop by as well.

She was puzzled by their expressions, as the door closed silently behind her. "Am I interrupting something?"

Her master smiled and shook his head. "No, we just thought the healers were back again."

"Not that you're the one suffering under their wrath", Obi-Wan grumbled towards Anakin, throwing him a look.

"Should I call for Master Che? I'm sure she has another one of these broth for you", his friend teased on his expense.

"If you want all of the chairs in your quarters replaced with this lovely plastoid sitting furnitures, you can just do that, Anakin", he shot back dryly.

Ahsoka giggled while she listened to her masters bantering. It was good that the were having some fun after all.

"Did you tell him now?", she asked Anakin as she sat down next to him.

"Before he could answer, Obi-Wan decided to chime in. "Yes, he did. And no, I won't rip his head off. Although I'd really liked to sometimes", he added with a grin.

"We'll see who rips off whose head as soon as you're fit for a training fight again, master", Anakin challenged.

"I'll remind you when the time comes, my padawan."

The three of them talked for a while before Ahsoka remembered something she wanted to ask her grandmaster.

"Can I ask you something, Master Kenobi?"

"Of course, Ahsoka."

She shared a short glance with her master, apparently, he was involved in that matter too. Both sported a little unsure smile.

"Satine may have told us something", she started, letting her eyes waver between him and Anakin.

"And what might that be that the both of you are acting this strange?", Obi-Wan was seriously irritated by now. He just couldn't imagine what it was that only Satine had known until now.

"She told us that you can sing and play the guitar."

Oh. That one.

The jedi master made a face and bit the inside of his cheeks. "And know you want to know how I learned that", he simply stated, his mind racing with otherwise well-hidden memories.

"Only if you like to tell us", Anakin said apprehensively this time, upon seeing his master's grimace.

"It's okay… ", Obi-Wan thought about his next words, "it's just that I haven't actually spoken over my apprenticeship before. Let's say that a few things happened that I would like to forget."

He took a deep breath before he continued. "So, maybe I just start with what you wanted to know."

"I learned to play the guitar while I was on Melida/Daan after Master Qui-Gon left me there."