Julian walked a few feet ahead of me, waves lapping at his boots. His silhouette cast long shadows across the sand, moonlight illuminating his broad shoulders and messy curls.

The meal had gone quicker than I would've liked, the conversation focused on the food and other surface-level topics. Julian had been uncharacteristically quiet, occasionally studying my face when he thought I wasn't looking. As if he was trying to remember it, before...

I wrapped my arms around myself, the next gust of wind eliciting goosebumps along the exposed skin.

As much I wanted to know the truth, I was confident that it wasn't going to be anything good.

My thoughts traced our footsteps, back through the city at night to the brief moment of peace in Mazelinka's hut. Water lapped at my bare feet, sandals preemptively taken off at the edge of the beach. Julian smiled but hadn't commented on the behavior.

The tension that had been building all day, from Inas's cryptic remark to Julian's odd behavior, was about to crash over us.

Who knew what the aftermath would be like?

The dread was an uncomfortable burden, weighing upon my shoulders and coiling in my gut.

About a half-mile away from the main pier, we reached a smaller dock.

The rotting wood creaked beneath our feet as we moved to the end. "Be careful, Cassandra. Don't want splinters in your feet." Julian said, turning his head to watch. His hand raised into the air, hesitant, only to fall back to his side.

Stepping over a gap in the pier, I tried to smile, "That'd be just my luck, wouldn't it?" I was taken aback by the weariness that escaped; so was Julian, judging by his expression.

With a bitter chuckle, he ran a hand through his hair, "You do seem to have incredibly bad luck." Something darker crossed his features, and his shoulders slumped, "Especially when it comes to me."

We fell silent once more.

After a moment, Julian held out a hand to help me down, settling us at the edge of the dock. Our legs dangled over the edge, his boots brushing across the water's surface.

I closed my eyes, allowing the breeze to sweep across my face and arms. I've always loved the water, but...I heard Julian sigh before his low voice rumbled, "Feel that breeze. It's a nice night for sailing, don't you think?"

Were we going to talk about the weather first? Fine, if it helped.

"I'll take your word for it," I replied, opening my eyes, "I've never been sailing before."

Julian looked down at me, "Really?"

"Really." I shrugged half-heartedly, "Like I said, the past three years I've spent here, tending to our shop and…" I swallowed, "trying to remember everything else, I suppose."

Or trying to pretend that I wasn't missing anything. Trying to pretend I wasn't incomplete, broken.

"That's a shame," Julian shook his head, falling quiet. His gaze dropped to the water.

In the moonlight, the surface was a glittering mystery, the reflection hiding whatever creatures swam beneath.

"Cassandra, listen...we, uh, we really need to talk."

"So I've gathered." I said, frowning, "Are you finally going to tell me? You've been dancing around it all day."

Julian's shoulders curled further around himself, ears darkening, "I guess I was enjoying myself too much to take the plunge."

My chest ached slightly at the admission. "I had fun today, too." I added softly, staring down at our swaying feet.

It was hardly a conventional outing, but it always like that with Julian. I...really enjoyed spending time with him, probably too much.

Seeing him in the city, in the theater, smiling and dashing about...it was nice.

He looked happy.

"You did?" He asked, smiling, "Even the part where we destroyed a fortune worth of fruit? Or accidentally crashed a play?"

"Especially that." I grinned back, "Even though I've lived here for who knows how long, it feels like I'm seeing the city for the first time."

Leaning over to nudge his shoulder, I added, "Must be the company. People seem to love you." Julian nodded, "They're good people. Hardworking, dedicated…"

He frowned, looking down, "but covering for me is putting them in danger. I know they'd take any chance to get back at the palace, and I can't fault them for that...but if anything happened to them because of my mess..."

I watched his brow furrow, and resisted the sudden temptation to smooth the knot away.

"Cassandra," He sighed, "I'm a disaster waiting to happen. And…" The dread returned, full force. "I don't want that disaster to happen to you, too."

I shook my head, "You're not a disaster, Julian. Unpredictable, yes." We exchanged a half-hearted smile, "But not a disaster." Quite the opposite.

Frankly, it scared me how much of my life had changed since meeting the doctor. Even with how complicated it all was - him, wanted for a murder I didn't believe he commited and me, a confused apprentice searching for answers to her own mysteries - I wouldn't trade our time for anything.

Wasn't that just as terrifying?

Instead of responding, he used his free hand to point towards something across the water, leaning closer.

"See that?" I nodded silently. Under the full moon, the island was surprisingly visible, a dark tower rising from the center.

Something about it made my heart beat faster. Why did it look familiar? Why did I suddenly want to cry? Shaking away the strange sensation, I focused my attention onto the man beside me. His warmth radiated from beneath his coat, a pleasant contrast to the night's chill.

"That's the Lazaret. It's...where the city sent their infected, during the height of the plague."

I shivered when the breeze picked up again.

"A perfect monument to my failures, always visible from the shore...always reminding the city how much we suffered. Every death, every person burnt in those piles is another mark against me." He grinned, but there was no joy in that smile, "And there were so many marks."

"It's not your fault -" Julian cut me off, shaking his head violently. Curls fell into his face, concealing his expression. "I don't want to drag this out, Cassandra. This -" He retracted his hand, drawing it into his lap, "Whatever it was, whatever it could have been."

Despite the blood rushing to my ears, his voice was crystal clear, "It has to end, before it's too late for you." The bitter grin returned, "I'm only going to end up hurting you somehow. I know it."

You're hurting me now.

"I'm not afraid of pain. Besides, you're not -"

Once more, he interjected before I could finish my sentence, "You shouldn't be so cavalier with your own safety, Cassandra."

It was my turn to grin, my frustration sharpening the edges of my words into daggers, "You're one to talk, Julian. You throw yourself into anything that resembles danger." I crossed my arms as if it would ease the growing pain.

"What you're doing isn't healthy. Pushing me away doesn't do anything but hurt me. Hurt both of us."

His visible eye widened, jaw clenching.

This was what he wanted to talk about? He was just going to...to leave? We spent the whole day together, while he knew, he planned to leave.

"I'm only trying to protect you -" I cut him off, shaking my head, "I don't need protection, Julian." The ache grew worse, pricking at the back of my eyes. Julian sighed, looking down at his hands in his lap.

In a heart-breakingly soft voice, he said, "It's all I can offer you, Cassandra."

"I'm not a good man," He struggled to continue, hands curling into fists, "The things I've done…"

"Julian," I turned my body to face him, placing a hand on his arm. He looked up in surprise. "You didn't kill the Count."

I didn't have the evidence yet, and yes, my feelings may be playing a part in this...but I knew it to be true.

It had to be true.

His lips parted, eyebrows furrowing, "I-What?" Julian pulled away from my touch, frowning, "How would you know, Cassandra? You see the best in people but...I've done something unforgivable. I must have, where else does this pit in my stomach come from?"

"Julian…" I whispered, but he continued on doggedly, "I won't have you come down this path with me. You deserve better than that."

"Why are you so determined to push me away?" I demanded, hearing my own voice rise in frustration.

None of the reasons he'd given me so far had anything to do with us, whatever we were. 'I'm dangerous. I'll hurt you', etc etc. Was he just looking for the right excuse?

I needed to know the truth, whatever that may be. Fear rushed through me, joining the internal cacophony.

"Julian," I frowned, pulling my legs from the edge of the dock to completely face the stubborn man I'd grown to care about. Fear be damned.

"Do you want me?" I demanded, blinking away the tears that threatened to blur my vision.

In another situation, his reaction would've been comical; the taller man started, just about falling off the small pier before catching himself at the last minute. Gripping the rotted wood tightly, he turned his astonished and flustered gaze towards me.

"I-what?" His cheeks darkened under the moonlight, eye gleaming, "Did you...I must've misheard you."

"I asked," I scowled, making sure to clearly enunciate each word, "if you wanted me."

"Ooh, so, erm, I didn't mishear." Julian refused to meet my eyes, rubbing the back of his neck, "Strange question to ask when I'm breaking up with you, isn't it?"

"Is that what this is?" I asked. He frowned, "I guess it's not really a break-up, we never...never had anything to start with." Ouch. "Just a night or two stolen from time."

In the back of my mind, I realized that he was trying to convince himself just as much as me, but the words still stung.

Julian looked every bit the coiled spring, all points of tension and stiffness. "Do I want you...do I want you? That's a tough question to answer." He murmured.

"If it's that difficult to decide…" I blinked away the blurriness and aching, turning my head away. It hurt too much to watch him make up his mind.

What was it with the people in my life? What did I keep doing wrong, that they felt they had to push me away? To run, far, far away.

I thought of Asra, the countless times I'd mournfully watched his back disappear into the night, the dream-conversation we'd had.

The inevitable rejection.

"I want you to be safe."

Those same, horrible words - the very ones Asra used to keep me at a distance - spilled from Julian's lips.

I want you safe. "I want you to stay out of this whole mess. I want…"

I sucked in a shuddering breath. What about me made it so difficult to care? To just...stay?

I wasn't completely helpless. Was I that much of a burden?

No wonder I was always so alone….maybe that's why I'd been clinging to Julian, his warmth and energy. His infectious smile and gentle touch...

Had I been relying on him too much, just as I have with Asra? Is that why…?

The sound of the waves crashing against the dock echoed in my ears.

"It doesn't matter what I want." Julian bit his lip.

"Of course it does." I argued, rubbing at my temples. A high-pitched ringing had begun in the back of my head, an early indication of an impending headache. "And you didn't answer my question."

At this, Julian smiled, eye crinkling in amusement. "Tenacious, aren't you?"

He tilted his head down at me, almost fondly, "It's one of the things I like about you. No matter what happens, you keep moving forwards." His voice grew softer, quieter, "You're like this brilliant light, drawing me towards you."

He shifted closer, our shoulders brushing, "I just can't help myself."

I swallowed, struggling to regain my composure from the emotional whiplash. Back and forth, like the tides.

Finally, I managed, "Answer the question, Julian….Please." I was sure I came off as desperate, whether it be the edge to my voice or my expression. Tears threatened to escape, gathering at the corner of my eyes.

Julian sighed, and I looked down to where his hand covered mine. The breeze swept across us, stray hairs blowing into my line of vision.

"If I were a stronger man…" With his free hand, Julian silently tucked the violet hair behind my ear, hand lingering, "If I wasn't so weak….but I just can't stay away from you."

Even at our proximity, I was scarcely able to hear when he admitted, "I want you."

My own breath hitched audibly.

"I know it's only been a short time, Cassandra, but I feel like I've known you for years." Me too.

"Is it because you put me at ease?" His lips curled upwards, "That's hard to do, you know." His fingers brushed my cheekbone gingerly, as if I were made of glass. "I want to be around you. I, erm, can't stop thinking about you, even when you're not there."

I felt myself smile, a lone tear slipping down my face. He caught it, sweeping the moisture away with the flick of his finger.

"That's the problem, Cassandra." The twinge in my chest spiked. "Problem?" I echoed, pulling back.

"I'm torn in two, Cassandra," His strained voice tugged at my aching heartstrings, "My brain tells me to leave, but my heart keeps pulling me back."

Then stay. I couldn't get the words past my trembling lips, hands twisting into the fabric of my pants.

I heard him chuckle lowly, tilting his head back to look up at the moon. "If I think about it," He rumbled, "I can see the path our story would take."

I wiped at my face quietly. "So why…" He trailed off, shoulders slumping, as if he could hide himself away from me. From us.

"If I walk away from you now," My stomach flipped at the forced lightness to his tone, "will I stay away? If I drop my guard, will I find myself walking right back to you?" He shook his head, "That's what makes me so selfish."

I frowned, "Julian -" "Because whatever we could have had, whatever possibilities...they'll only lead to ruin."

For someone so physically close - close enough to touch - he felt so very far.

"That's the kind of man I am." "I don't believe that. Julian, you're -" I nearly growled in frustration when the stubborn man interrupted me for the thousandth time. His grin was empty, words hollow, "There's no future for us that doesn't end in pain for you."

The haunting image of Julian on the gallows flashed before my eyes, twisting the metaphorical knife further into my chest.

No, no, I would find the evidence to prove his innocence. I would.

Throwing his own words back at him, I said, "You don't know that. What future do you want?" "I told you, it doesn't matter what I want."

"I disagree," I found myself facing him once more, wiping more tears from my face. To hell with my appearance right now. He'd seen me worse than this, anyways. And he had stayed, then…

"Can't you see anything else? Or," I scowled, gesturing wildly out towards the ocean, towards the island, "Is it all just tragedy?"

Julian laughed humorlessly, "Tragedies are what I'm best at, my dear." The wind howled around us, moonlight growing dimmer. "I'm the star in my own one-man play." He declared with arms outstretched, "It's what will happen."

"In this world, we don't get what we want. Why waste time imagining something you can't ever have?"

Chest heaving, I asked, "So you're just going to give up? Before it...before this could even start?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I covered his mouth with my hand, shaking my head, "No, you just admitted that you want me too, that you want this. Can't we at least try?"

Julian pulled away, "I don't dare hope. It just makes it hurt more when you don't get it."

I nearly screamed, right then and there. I'm right here! I wanted to shake him out of...whatever this was, but he'd already made up his mind.

Already decided for the both of us, without even asking me what it is I wanted.

Just like Asra, like everybody in my damned life.

"Try." I pleaded, "For me. Please, Julian. It doesn't have to be like this." Julian turned his head away, letting out a bark of laughter. Running a hand through his hair, he stared off into the horizon, lips curled back, "What do you want to hear from me, Cassandra? That I want...that I want a future? That I want to live?"

"That…" He peered at me from beneath his lashes, eye gleaming with unshed tears, "that I want something from you?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed loudly, voice echoing across the water as I threw my hands into the air, "That's exactly what I want."

Julian stood abruptly, forcing me to scramble after him, nearly falling into the water. "You'll survive, Cassandra." Julian began pacing up and down the small dock, shaking his head over and over again, "You were fine before I got here. You'll be fine after I've left." He refuses to listen.

My fists clenched, and I bowed my head, struggling and failing to control my breathing. My magic swelled to the surface, reacting to the tidal wave of emotion.

Footsteps echoed across the wood, followed by a pair of hands on my arms.

"Cassandra?" Julian sounded concerned, grip tight but careful, "Are you...are you alright?"

I sucked in a slow breath, nails digging into the skin of my palms. Breathe, Cassandra. In and - "Of course I'm not." I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks, stray strands of hair sticking to the moisture, but found it impossible to care.

Without opening my eyes, I felt him free the hair from their watery prison, tucking them out of the way. His hand lingered at the crook of my neck and shoulder before disappearing.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Cassandra. It's for the better, I promise."

Finally, I opened my eyes, lifting my chin to meet his hesitant gaze.

"No, it's not. You're just scared." I wrapped my arms around myself, "Not of hurting me, but just...scared. That's why you're so insistent on pushing me away, feelings be damned."

His eye widened, whether at the unexpected curse or the harsh sentiment, but I just shook my head. Julian raised his hand as if to reach for mine again, lowering it just as quickly.

In a low voice, he said, "I'll...walk you home." Sniffling, I took a moment to study the man before me.

My heart was aching something terrible, as if each rejected attempt to reason with him had squeezed the organ tighter and tighter, until it was impossible to breathe or think or...Nothing I say will change his mind.

He's going to leave me, no matter what.

Rubbing angrily at my face, I sighed slowly. For a second, I simply tried to relish the cool breeze across my wet face and shaking hands. Julian watched me with apprehension and something else, shoulders slumped with the weight of his own emotions.

Good. He's hurting both of us for...what?

"Don't bother, Julian." Turning on my heel, I strode past the ridiculous man, vision blurring once more.

"Cassandra!" I heard him call, heard his boots pound against the rotting pier. I stepped nimbly over the gap in the wood, moving as quickly as my legs would allow. "Leave me alone!" I called back, refusing to check behind me, "I'm just giving you what you want."

"Cassandra," Julian's voice cracked, and a hand grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him, "It's not safe out there. Let me -" "No," I all but yelled, yanking my arm back with unexpected force. I stumbled backward, ignoring the pain written across his face.

"I can make it back to the shop by myself, Julian. If you get over….this," I waved limply in his direction, "You know where to find me."

The bitterness was borderline metallic against my lips, and I half-expected to find blood.

When Julian didn't say anything - he only stared at me with a shining eye, one hand over his chest, the other hanging by his side - I turned and left.

I ended up running across the sand barefoot, the ground beneath me eventually changing into courser dirt and gravel.

Those sandals were nothing but bad luck, anyways.

Even with blurred vision, I managed to make it to the shop. I heard, more than felt, myself gasping when I reached the familiar building. Leaning over, I took a moment to catch my breath, feeling incredibly weak.

My limbs were hollow, as if everything inside had been balled up and shoved into the pit of my stomach.

And Julian hadn't followed...of course not. Why did I keep expecting otherwise?

As I slowly rose, my brow furrowed. The shop...the lights were on.

Had I...left the lanterns on again? I could've sworn - The faint scent of cinnamon and cardamom reached me, and my eyes widened. Asra? Asra was back? Already?

I rapidly swiped at my face, nearly rubbing the skin raw in order to remove any evidence of the disastrous night. That was putting it lightly. This morning had begun so sweetly...No. I shook my head vehemently, then stopped to smooth down my windswept hair.

Pull yourself together, Cassandra. No need to worry Asra, especially as he likely only just returned. Maybe if I'd had more energy, or the emotional capacity, I would've wondered why his trip had been so short compared to normal.

Instead, I quietly let myself in, making sure to lock the door behind me.

The store was deliciously warm, a thin trail of incense wafting down from the staircase. I sucked in another long breath, hoping to slow my erratic pulse.

I wanted to cry all over again, standing here, in our little shop. It felt like weeks since the last time I was here.

My fingers brushed along the counter as the lantern beside the staircase flickered to life. Asra poked his head down the stairwell, a bright grin stretched across his face. "Back from your jaunt at the palace?"

Stepping quickly down the narrow steps, Asra smiled warmly, "Welcome home, Cassandra."

Home?

Without hesitation, Asra wrapped me in a gentle hug, the sweet scent lingering around him. My lower lip trembled, and I allowed my head to rest against his chest.

This was home.

"It's..it's nice to be back."

I internally winced when my voice cracked. So much for pretending.

As predicted, Asra immediately tensed, pulling back to study my expression. He frowned, amethyst eyes piercing right through my fragile mask. It was impossible to hide anything from him.

"I recognize that look." Reaching up, his hand softly brushed against my face.

He frowned at the moisture on his fingertips. Whoops. "Cassandra, what happened?"

For a moment, I was unable to speak, trembling in his arms. I could practically feel his worry mounting, fingers tracing eerily familiar circles against my skin.

"I…" I cleared my throat, keeping my eyes on the jewel around his neck.

I'd bought that for his last birthday. He was ridiculously happy by the simple present, refusing to take it off for anything in the world. I peered down at my shaking hands. I'd done the same with the emerald bracelet he'd given me.

I forgot it was on my wrist, sometimes.

"Cassandra," Asra's lilted voice was a surprising comfort in my current state, even with the concern lacing his tone, "What is it?" Years ago, I wished for an accent like his, like the people born and raised in Vesuvia, but no such luck. We'd even made the occasional joke about it.

His magic swirled against my skin, likely performing a subtle scanning spell for any injuries.

Who is he to anyone? Asra's words from earlier echoed, though I couldn't tell from which memory. He's a hack physician with a lot to learn. Until he does, nothing good will come of him.

Julian's face flashed in my mind's eye, pained and reluctant. This was his parting gift to me. A curse from a witch who fears commitment.

"Are you-What happened to your shoes?" I followed his gaze to my feet, then laughed humorlessly. "Oh, right."

Tanned fingers gradually lifted my chin to meet Asra's gaze, "I...Julian left me."

His eyebrows furrowed, lips twitching at the name. "Julian?" Recognition lit his features, and suddenly his face was closing, a cold mask shuddering into place.

"You two were…?" He trailed off, releasing his gentle grip.

As he stepped back, something in my chest clenched painfully.

My heart felt as if it was being squeezed once more, an iron grip. Stranger still, I felt….angry? The heated wave swept through me fast enough to leave me dizzy.

I leaned against the counter, blinking the sudden spots away. By the stars, what was that? Even during my...argument with Julian - too soon - I hadn't felt that level of intensity, however brief.

If I didn't know better, I would've described the feeling as...hate.

But hate for what?...Or who?

Asra exhaled slowly, pale hair concealing his face. I thought I saw his hands curl into fists, but they were gone before I could be sure.

"Asra," I closed the space between us, unsure of what I even wanted to say, or why I felt so...guilty. I frowned when he didn't move, simply watching me cup his face.

"Asra? Are you okay?"

He placed a hand over mine, trapping my hand against his cheek. Closing his eyes, he seemed to lean into the touch, a smile flickering unsteadily across his lips.

Should I apologize? What for? Should I - "Want to come upstairs and talk about it?" Asra interrupted the increasingly panicked stream of thoughts softly, any warring emotions erased from his expression. I guess he didn't want to talk about it.

"I made your favorite tea. You look like you could use it."

I could only imagine. Barefooted and tear-stained, wild windswept hair...I was a mess, inside and out.

Wordlessly, I nodded. Besides, a cup of tea sounded like heaven.

Asra studied my expression, then smiled, "Let's go upstairs, then. Faust has missed you, too." Despite the amused tone, something still felt off about his demeanor, "Almost more than she missed me." He shook his head, curls swaying with the movement.

Sniffling, I returned the smile, wondering what had caused the sudden shift in my master. Last time, the mere mention of Julian had been enough to sour his mood.

Before we could reach the staircase, however, a knock sounded at the front door.

My neck ached at the speed in which I turned, an intense painful hope racing through me. By the stars, was it…? Could it be…? Asra shot me a look, then quietly moved to check.

That's the thing about hope.

My unnaturally lightened heart plummeted at the sight of a shorter, curvy woman at the door.

Not Julian.

"Inas?" Asra tilted his head, "Is everything alright?"

I moved closer, prompted by curiosity and the almost desperate need to ignore the painful letdown I'd set myself up for.

Inas rarely visited this late. She appeared rather solemn, fixing the fluffy-haired magician with dark eyes, "Asra, they're coming to the Masquerade."

Although I couldn't see his face, I noted his hand tightening on the doorknob, the sudden tension to his shoulders.

Who was coming?

Inas stiffened, as if she hadn't realized I was there. Oh, had I spoken out loud?

"C-Cassandra," It was odd seeing the normally confident woman so jumpy. Her eyes flickered from me to the elder magician, "I-uh -"

"An old friend of ours." Asra tried to smile. I frowned. Then why act so suspicious about it? Why would she come so suddenly, so late in the night for this?

"Right," I drawled, crossing my arms over my chest. I was calling bull-"Cassandra," Asra turned to me, hand still on the door, "Why don't you go upstairs? I'll meet you up there in just a moment."

My mouth dropped open. Was he - Was he sending me away?

For a conversation with Inas? He never - I blinked when Asra didn't move, waiting patiently for me to recover.

He really...Something crossed his expression as the frustration from earlier returned, swirling with the lingering confusion and exhaustion.

My shoulders slumped, and I turned away from the pair, "Fine."

I knew I was acting childishly - Inas called 'goodnight' and I didn't respond - but it had been a long day. Or more accurately, a long, emotionally draining night. Thus, I slipped quietly upstairs, pausing when I reached the top step.

I should just wait in the kitchen, but...I turned, leaning carefully against the wall to eavesdrop.

I'd never done this before, especially not to Asra. Vague as he was, my master didn't lie to my face.

Although he'd never done this before, either. And of all nights...None of it made sense.

Something cool brushed against my ankle, and I scooped the snake up. "Hello, Faust," I whispered, holding a finger to my lips, "Let's see what's going on."

Faust flicked out her tongue twice before curling up and around my shoulders. Listen? "Exactly." I nodded, falling silent once more.

I could barely hear the whispered voices from my position. After a moment, I heard Inas, "-appreciate everything, but she thinks they can try again in a familiar setting, at the Masquerade." There was a rustle of cloth, and Asra's voice cut across, "She's not strong enough yet, they-" I frowned.

Who were they talking about?

"The letters aren't cutting it anymore, Asra." Inas's response was sharp, "It's been years. They deserve the chance to try."

Faust shifted against my neck, and I absentmindedly ran a finger across her scales.

"I said no."

I was shocked by the uncharacteristic harshness.

"The last time we tried that, she -" He stopped suddenly, and I froze in place. Time to make my escape.

Heart pounding, I ran up the last step, holding onto Faust to keep her from falling. Once upstairs, I fell into the nearest chair, hand over my heart.

What had they been talking about? Why did he sound so...angry?

It was about as common for Asra to lose his temper as it was for Faust to sprout wings and fly.

The only other time I'd seen him genuinely angry, or even close to it, was when I had asked him about Julian. My stomach did a backflip. How would he react when I told him about tonight? About my...adventures, with him?

The metallic taste returned to my lips, and I ran a finger across them, as if I could simply wipe away the bitterness.

As if he ever told me the full truth. Half-answers and elusive statements that didn't quite make sense...constantly dancing around the topic, especially when it came to my memories.

Faust slipped off my shoulders to curl on the table, ruby eyes watching. I automatically smiled down at her, thoughts racing. Dancing…

"He still owes me that dance." Suddenly, my vision was blurring once more. Julian's intense expression from the theater came to mind, half-lidded eyes and parted lips that had drawn me in, ever closer..."That-that idiot," I wrapped my arms around me, taking little comfort in the constriction.

"Talking about me?" An amused voice brushed against the shell of my ear; I jumped, hitting my elbow on the corner of the chair. "Damn it," I winced, cradling the appendage as the bolt of pain raced up my arm.

Asra's dimples vanished immediately, dropping to my side with a worried expression. "I'm sorry," He gingerly took the elbow with both hands, "Here, hold still."

Before I could protest - I only jammed my elbow, it wasn't a big deal - the magician was already whispering a spell, the warmth of his magic spreading across the skin. Within seconds, the pain was replaced by an almost fuzzy comfort that lingered in the corners of my brain, even easing the ache in my chest.

"Oh, um, thank you."

He smiled up at me, chuckling at my flustered expression. "Of course. Now," With a brush of his fingers, Asra rose to his feet, "let me get the tea for us, and you can tell me about tonight."

He wasn't going to even comment on what just happened with Inas?

"So," I leaned backward, watching him cross the room, "What did Inas want? Everything alright?" Worth a try, at least.

With his back to me, I could only observe his stilted movements and Faust's reaction. The snake tilted her head, slowly looking between the two of us.

"She's fine, just...relaying a message." Asra commented in a deceptively light tone, setting the lid onto the small pot, effectively cutting off the rising steam. And any chance at an honest answer.

On another night, I might've pressed him for more information, fruitless as the endeavor often was.

But not tonight.

Nevertheless, I made a mental note to ask Inas about it. Maybe she'd let something slip.

There had been something she wanted to tell me, earlier today.

After that, it was quiet for a while.

I picked at my nails, trying to think about anything except him. Did Julian have someone to talk to? Mazelinka, or maybe Portia? Better question...would he actually go to them for help?

Considering everything I knew about him thus far, it seemed unlikely.

Asra nimbly carried the tea to the table, placing one of the chipped mugs in front of me. At the sight of the painted clay, I shook my head, "You're still using that? I thought I'd successfully hidden that in the back."

His dimples deepened as he carefully set down the aforementioned pot, "What's wrong with it? You made it for us to use."

Groaning, I sunk into my seat, "Back when I could barely even walk or talk. It's…" Waving a hand in the teapot's general direction, I eyed the clumsy blue flowers and vines, "Messy." Just like everything else in my life.

Asra laughed softly at my reaction while he poured two cups of steaming jasmine. Faust immediately curled around his mug, eyes closing in relish at the heat it provided.

He leaned back in his chair, an expectant smile on his lips. He was still wearing his maroon scarf...must've only just returned.

Instead of addressing the one-eyed elephant in the room, I said, "When did you get back? I wasn't expecting you for at least another week or so."

His smile tightened, but held in place. Eyes dropping to Faust's prone form, he answered, "Not long. I told you I'd be back soon. I...didn't want to leave you here, alone."

Picking up the painted cup, I hid my expression in the swirls of steam.

I was always alone, Asra. You made sure of that.

Something physically hurt at the thought.

I cared about Asra, deeply. Of course I did.

He was...my family, my confidant. So, why was I so...resentful?

I was never good at letting things slide compared to Asra, especially when it came to my emotions. He once joked that I reacted with my heart first, which...wasn't entirely false.

When I sighed, my breath swept the steam away.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Lowering the cup, I met his piercing violet gaze, "Really."

Before meeting Julian, it felt like all I had was Asra and the shop. My own little world within Versuvia, blissfully ignorant of anything else.

True, I was more often than not alone, but when the pale-haired magician was here, everything was just a little brighter.

Other people, like Inas and Nasir, passed through occasionally but never stayed.

I thought Julian might've - the city seemed to come to life before us, unfolding in wild antics and ridiculous twists of fate - then tonight happened.

Asra remained quiet, patient as ever. I swallowed, dropping my eyes to the swirling tea between my hands.

The question now, was...how much should I tell him?