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"What do you think of SSA Prentiss," JJ asked Reid, a few days after the thwarted terrorist attack on the new mall.

"I think she's competent, intelligent and I admire the fact that she speaks four languages."

JJ sat up from where she lay curled up next to Reid. "Yes, but what do you think of her as a person?"

"Jenn, I barely know her."

"I think she's nice and funny."

"I suppose."

JJ studied her lover until he put aside the book he was reading and said, 'Why are you staring at me?"

JJ shrugged and played with his hair as she spoke. "I'm concerned. The other day after you came back from Guantanamo Bay, you were a little irritated and unhappy. I thought it was because of the terrorist attack we barely stopped."

Reid looked at the book in his hands and frowned. "If I tell you, you'll think I'm petty and mean."

JJ laughed. "I doubt it. You're the nicest guy I know, Spence."

Reid twitched uncomfortably in his seat. "She beat Gideon at chess."

"What?" JJ stared at Reid with wide eyes.

Reid got to his feet and began to pace the floor in front of his sofa. "Gideon and I were playing on the way down to Guantanamo Bay, and because of the Gitmo twist, I lost."

"Wait," JJ held up a hand. "What is the Gitmo twist?"

Reid explained the term to JJ and frowned deeper when she smirked at him. "Don't laugh."

"I'm not laughing at you."

"Okay, but you're smiling."

JJ stood and went to him. "Babe, I don't mean to make fun, but it is a bit amusing that you'd get riled up over a loss because your chessboard went flying."

"I was three moves away from checkmate."

"Spence."

"I know it's not that important considering that we were traveling to interrogate someone planning a massive terrorist attack, but – see, I am petty. "

"No, you're not. I know how much your games with Gideon mean to you."

"Not anymore. I decided that I give up trying to win."

"Remember you beat him once," JJ said, and her blue eyes sparkled with the memory of the first time Spencer asked her out.

Reid's mouth trembled as he thought about his birthday and how Gideon's gift had led them to this place and time. "Alright, you have a point, but I'm still irritated that Emily plays one game with Gideon, and she wins."

JJ tugged him back to the sofa and snuggled into his arms. "Let us not think about Emily. Anyway, if anyone has the right to dislike her, it's me!"

"Why?"

JJ nearly laughed at the look on Reid's face. "You have more in common with Emily than you do with me. She's multi-lingual like you, and she's good at chess. She's smart."

"Are you jealous?"

"Don't sound so happy about it, Spence."

"I'm not happy," Reid said. "I think you're way off. Anyway, it doesn't matter what we have in common. I don't love Emily. I love you."

"Good answer."

"Come on, Jennifer."

JJ sat up again and studied Reid until he blushed and said, "What?"

"Kiss me."

Reid kissed her, and JJ went back to cuddling him. "I'm not jealous."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, because I have you here and Emily doesn't, so I don't care what talents she has."

JJ sighed when Reid squeezed her tight. "I love you, Jennifer Jareau, just as you are, so do not change."

"I have no intention of changing, Spence."

"Hey, not to change the subject, but what do you think about going to a movie this afternoon?"

"Sure, sounds good."

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Reid tugged off his coat and let it drop where he stood. His phone buzzed, but he ignored it despite JJ's name on the caller id. Reid didn't want to talk to anyone. He wanted to – be alone.

No, that wasn't true, Reid thought as he stared down at his hands. Reid had tried to wipe off Nathan's blood with the towel he'd snagged from the hotel room, but it was still there. He shuddered and almost ran to his bathroom.

Reid twisted on the tap and lathered up his hands. The soap turned a pink color that made him gag. Reid lunged for the toilet and retched until he'd brought up the remnants of a snack he'd eaten hours ago. The burn of stomach acid made him choke and gag again. Fortunately, he had nothing left in his stomach and could only crouch and dry heave until his stomach cramped.

Reid clutched his soapy hands to his stomach and then realized blood-splatter covered his shirt and sweater vest. He gagged again while trying to rip off his clothing. Reid staggered, nearly fell into the tank, and began to keen in frustration to see soap and blood on the tank and lid of the toilet. He flushed with trembling hands and washed again.

His cleaning products were in the kitchen. Reid hurried to them as he finished yanking off his shirt. He let the clothing fall on the kitchen floor and strode back to his bathroom. Reid didn't realize that he talked to himself as he scrubbed down his toilet until the white porcelain gleamed.

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JJ knocked on Reid's apartment door for ten minutes. Her heart was in her throat, sounding like she'd run a couple of miles at a dead sprint. Reid hadn't answered his phone, and now he wasn't answering his door. She tried it and was shocked to find the door unlocked. Reid never entered without locking the door behind him.

Still, it was a good thing because she needed to talk to Reid and determine if he were okay. According to Garcia, Gideon had taken him home from the motel, but Garcia had said the Reid hadn't looked well at all.

JJ called out for Reid, but he didn't respond despite the light coming from his bathroom. JJ's hands began to shake as she strode to the door and tapped on it with one finger. "Spence. You okay, babe."

The door suddenly swept open, and she jumped back in surprise. Reid stood there with dripping wet hands, his hair stood up in disordered clumps, and he'd taken off his shirt and sweater vest. His eyes were dull and full of unshed tears.

"Baby – "

JJ nearly backed into the wall when Reid grabbed her and hugged her so tightly; she had to squirm out of his embrace. "Spence. What's wrong?"

"I can't get rid of it."

"Spence, what are you talking – "

"The blood, Jennifer." Reid held up his hands, and they were red and nearly scrubbed raw. "I can't wash it away. It'll never come off."

Reid turned back to the sink, but JJ stopped him. "No. Stop! Honey, your skin is raw and almost bleeding."

"But –"

"No," JJ took down a hand towel from the rack next to the sink. She shut off the water and turned to him, and then she gently began to dry his hands. Reid hissed, and tears slid down his face. "Shh.. it'll be okay."

JJ found some antiseptic cream that promised an analgesic effect and smeared it over his skin. He hissed again and then sighed. "Thank you. That feels better."

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

"I don't think I can sleep."

"Then we'll hold each other and just be together for a while."

Reid nodded and let her lead him to his bedroom.

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JJ pulled on one of Reid's white dress shirts and padded toward the kitchen. Contrary to what Reid believed, he'd fallen into a deep sleep almost immediately after JJ had helped him strip out of his pants and socks. She'd slept next to him for twelve hours straight and had finally awakened at nearly ten in the morning. Now she intended on making him some coffee and maybe breakfast if he had food in the house.

JJ was surprised to find eggs and some sliced bread that wasn't stale. She'd finished making coffee, scrambled eggs, and had buttered toast when Reid came out into the living area.

"Hey," he greeted her.

JJ hurried to him and kissed him. "Hey."

Reid held on to her until she said. "The eggs are getting cold."

"Not sure I want to eat."

"Why do you try it with some hot coffee. "

"Alright."

JJ noticed that he'd showered and had dressed in slacks and a dress shirt. He'd left off a sweater vest and socks. He looked like a suffering little boy, and her heart stuttered painfully to see him sip his coffee.

Reid did eat. After the first bite, he ate like a man starving in the wilderness. "Sorry," he said when he noticed that JJ watched him. "I lost my last meal after – well, I don't want to talk about it."

"It's okay. You don't have to speak."

"Thank you, but I can't stop thinking about Nathan. He tried to kill himself rather than face his demons."

JJ reached for his hand and squeezed it tight. "You know that what happened to Nathan wasn't you're fault?"

"I suppose, but – "

"You saved his life, Spence. You did the right thing."

"I'm not sure that I did, Jenn. What if he kills an innocent person in the future?"

"You have no control of what Nathan Harris does."

"I know, it's just that –" Reid stopped and looked down at his cooling cup of coffee. "I feel like I have blood on my hands either way."

"No," JJ said firmly. "Nathan is responsible for his choices, not you. If he decides to kill someone sometime in the future, it won't be on your head, Spence. You know that."

"I wish that I'd been able to help him overcome – "

"If there is one truth I have learned from working with the BAU, there are some people you can't save."

"I don't know if I believe that."

"Then, there is nothing I can do to convince you otherwise."

"I'm sorry, Jennifer. I know you're trying to help. It's just that I'm in the age bracket where my chances of inheriting my mother's condition are highest."

"Yes, that's true, but I don't believe that one day you're going to wake up and be someone I don't recognize."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am."

"How can you be sure?"

JJ held his eyes even when he tried to look away from her. "Because I love you, Spencer Reid. Love might not be scientific, or logical, or rational, but I believe in its power."

Reid blew out a breath and said, "I want to believe, too."

"Then remember that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Reid finally smiled and said, "I'm glad we decided to take this path instead of staying friends only. I don't know how I'd get through this without your love."

"You're the best part of my life. I plan on staying in your life for as long as you want me to."

Reid smiled for her, and they frowned. "I can't believe you think I'm the best part of your life. I'm nothing – "

Reid flinched a little when JJ's eyes filled with severe irritation. "Don't you dare say you're not special, Spence? Remember our night together, and you were so confident I called you cocky? You're my first real love for a reason, baby, and I will not let you run yourself down in my hearing. You got that?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Reid stayed quiet for a minute, then he smiled and squeezed her hand. "You turn me on when you're stern?" He said quietly.

"Spencer Reid."

"It's true," Reid said and grinned while JJ went rosy in the cheeks. "There are times when I feel like I have to dash away to hide when you hold a press conference."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want everyone to see your effect on me," Reid said, very quietly.

"Oh, well, this is useful information."

"Why?"

Reid's face turned scarlet when JJ giggled and said, "You'll see when you feel better."

"Thank you, Jenn. You'll never know how much I appreciate you taking care of me last night. I needed you so badly."

"I know you did, sweetie. I love you."

"I love you, too."