Spider-Man's perspective:
Before he began his patrol, Spider-Man checked his phone. A text from Joe "Robbie" Robertson read, "In case you want one last assignment, The Black Cat is in town."
Of course Spider-Man had heard of The Black Cat. She had been pulled quite a few robberies in the prior five years. Many were in Europe where most assumed she was from. But if she was stealing in New York, she was Spider-Man's!
So Spider-Man waited long enough to do some digging. The Black Cat had been pulling a job in a borough within New York City adjacent to the last one where she had committed a burglary once every three nights. She was due and Spidey thought he had pinpointed her next target: Manhattan, the jewel of the Big Apple.
Sure enough, he found a woman breaking into the Metropolitan Museum dressed in black but with white gloves and boots. She had white fur on the collar of her suit and trimming the gloves and boots. Her face was concealed by an eye mask. She had platinum blonde hair. Most likely she was The Black Cat.
Spider-Man followed carefully. The agility of a spider made him good at being sneaky. He hoped that inexperience at trying to be sneaky would not waste it. He walked on all fours so the shorter strides would make it easier to go unheard. And on walls or, preferably, the ceiling so it would be even easier to go unnoticed.
The Web-Slinger was taking his time because he had no proof. In his earliest crimefighting days, he had made a couple of false arrests. He had no desire to provoke those headlines again, especially from Jonah Jameson.
Eventually, The Black Cat, avoiding alarm beams at every turn, took a valuable painting of deceased British Queen Victoria off the wall.
"Now, now," said Spider-Man quietly on a wall near Black Cat, "That's not ladylike."
The Black Cat put down the painting and smiled at Spidey. "Then it works out pretty well. I'm a bitch." For some reason, she seemed unconcerned with being quiet. Before Spider-Man could wonder why, he had been knocked off the wall with a hopping kick. "Too bad spiders don't always land on their feet like cats do." As Spider-Man stood up, Black cat delivered a side kick that was blocked and a finger slash that connected. Spider-Man realized that his opponent had claws in her gloves that had cut his mask in three places, and scratched, but not cut, his skin.
"You never took a self-defense class, did you, Spider?" asked The Black Cat mockingly. She took a thrust at Spider-Man's chest, but he caught the wrist, and maneuvered behind her. Spidey stretched both of her arms behind her back, forcing her down to a knee.
"Argh," cried Black Cat. "You're breaking my arms! Be a gentleman."
"Hey, I'm not hitting you," said Spider-Man. "You ready to give up, Cat?"
The Black Cat began panting in pain but gave no indication of surrender. She was tougher than she looked. It was then that a muscle in Spidey's right arm pulled. He cried in pain and had to let Black Cat go to check his arm. It was definitely unwise to use it for the rest of the night.
The Black Cat assumed a fighting stance. "Shouldn't cross the path of The Black Cat. I'm not kidding. I bring bad luck to people who get on my bad side."
Suddenly, The Web-Slinger was against it, so he tried to web up The Black Cat with his good arm. Nothing came out of his Web-Shooter. And it seemed to still have plenty of Web Fluid. Must have been jammed somehow.
"Trying to use your web?" asked The Black Cat. "I warned you. I'm the unluckiest black cat of all!" She began advancing towards Spider-Man before abruptly pointing her right arm at a window to the side and using her left hand to activate a grappling gun hidden under the fur at the end of the glove. She then ran towards and picked the Victoria painting back up with her left arm. Retracting the grappling hook pulled her through the newly broken window. Spider-Man followed in part because he knew the broken glass would alert security.
Because The Black Cat seemed to have no powers other then bringing others bad luck, Spidey quickly caught up. That was until a pair of Rottweilers ran past The Cat and towards Spider-Man. Without his right arm or working Web-Shooters, this would not have been a wise fight to pick. Besides, Spider-Man would not have felt right fighting dogs, so he retreated to a nearby building and climbed it. The distraction enabled The Black Cat to get away.
Spider-Man sighed. He had been foiled. Had not even stopped The Black Cat from getting the painting. And the worst part about it was that he felt worse than if it had been a man who had slipped through his webs.
Still, he had always come through when it counted. But for now, he needed to find a safe place to change clothes. He did not need to get into a fight with a bad arm.
Peter Parker's perspective:
Peter returned home to find his Aunt May worried. "Why are you clutching your arm like that?"
"Ran into a cocky thug," explained Peter. It was true enough.
"That does it," said Aunt May. "You're not going out anymore."
"You know that's unreasonable," said Peter. "I'm probably going to be a research assistant soon. Don't take that from me."
"You stay in tomorrow and for the next three days at least, my nephew," Aunt May said sternly. "And you take aspirin every day until that arm is totally healed. Understand?"
"Yes, Ma'am," complied Peter.
Wonder how many people would believe that Spider-Man has to take health advice like this from his aunt. Not that she's wrong in this case.
Peter may not have been a man of action, but the sense of responsibility the death of his Uncle Ben had given him caused the days of not being Spider-Man to feel both boring and shameful. He also felt anger when Daily Bugle (with the objection of Robbie's lone dissenting voice) predictably accused Spider-Man of only pretending to try to catch The Black Cat when in "reality," they were a husband and wife crime couple.
Never change, Jameson!
Though if the truth be known, the pro-Spidey New York Globe had found it difficult to defend his failure as well. That sure was hard to take.
On the third day, Peter's arm finally felt alright. So he began working on his Web-Shooters in his room. He sat in his computer desk to do this. It did not take long. He tested them out. They worked.
Peter heard clapping from his bed. There lay The Black Cat sideways, smiling at him. "Hello, again." Had she somehow sneaked up on him without triggering his Spider-Sense?
"Thanks," Peter tried to cover his act. "I'm glad my replicas of Spider-Man's webbing are realistic enough for you." He knew this was futile even as he spoke.
The Black Cat shook her head. "I guess it's possible for an honor student like you, Peter, but I followed Spider-Man home. Before that, I saw him change into you with my own two eyes."
And her "bad luck" powers must have hidden her from my Spider-Sense. Why didn't I guess? They made me pull a muscle, broke my Web-Shooters, even sic'd dogs on me. Why not keep her hidden?
"So you've found me," Peter came clean. "What do you want?"
"You," said Black Cat. "Oh, don't look at me like that. Would I go to all this trouble just to kill you? Besides, why would I dirty my reputation like that?"
"You'd rather dirty your reputation by blackmailing me into romance," said Peter.
"Exactly," said The Black Cat. "It's for your own good, you know. You're about to abandon the lucrative field of journalism in favor of... science. Ugh! Do you know how much money you're giving up?"
The answer was a lot. "It's more important work," said Peter.
"If you've got to do it," The Black cat suggested, "At least don't turn down a woman with money. I've already got millions and I'm twenty-four! And I'm hot! You're cute but not that cute. I am so far out of your league it's not funny! This is your big break. You turn me down, you must have cheated to get those grades and probable scientific assistant job."
"You know what's the difference between a guy and a man, Cat?" asked Peter.
"I'm really curious," said The Cat. She seemed to remain confident that she had Peter.
"The guy would have you even though you're a thief," said Peter. "Besides, I already have a girlfriend."
"That mediocre bitch?" asked The Black Cat. "She's not making any guy drool and besides, she doesn't even know what she wants to do with her life. I'm a better woman than her in every way!"
"Uh-uh," smirked Peter. "When it comes to what's under those great breasts of yours, she's got you beat cold."
The Black Cat looked upset by that implication but stayed calm. "You're really set on morals, aren't you? We're about to see how set. 'Cause I know who you really are. I'll bet that Jameson guy would love to know."
"You wouldn't?" snapped Peter, grabbing her by the arms.
"Uh-uh," Black Cat snapped right back. "Hands off. I'm the breadwinner in this relationship." Peter let go.
"And it is going to be a relationship," insisted The Black Cat. "Unless you like having a warrant for your arrest once Jameson's magic lies do their work. Tomorrow night at eight, look for me on a rooftop at Rockefeller Boulevard. As Spider-Man, not the nerd. We'll have dinner. And then a movie at my penthouse. Finally, to bed. You can either be the luckiest man alive or make the FBI's top ten. Bye!" She kissed Peter on the cheek and left through the window.
Peter heard knocking on his door. He let Aunt May in.
"I'd thought I'd heard you talking to a woman," said May. "Is everything all right with you and MJ?"
"No," Peter humored her. "Nothing's wrong." He had three reason to say this. The first was that to reveal the truth would reveal that Peter Parker and Spider-Man were the same person. She was too old and frail for the shock of that.
The second was that The Black Cat was not bluffing. Peter had no desire to become involved with a thief, but he had to proceed with caution.
The final, totally questionable reason, was that Peter had looked in The Cat's eyes. He had not seen an evil woman. He had heard the demands of an evil woman, seen the face of one, but the eyes were not evil. Or maybe something shallow in Peter that he did not want to admit to found her offer appealing. This was not an easy situation.
MJ's perspective:
The next morning, Michelle "MJ" Jones realized that she had not seen Peter in days. This was strange. This was a long time to not be meeting her boyfriend. Was something wrong between them? Or maybe Peter needed her to pull him out of one of the jams he kept getting into? She phoned him.
"Hello, MJ?" asked Peter cautiously.
"Is something wrong?" asked MJ.
"N-no," said Peter. "Nothing's wrong."
"If there was," pressed an unconvinced MJ, "You'd tell me, right?"
"Yes," said Peter.
"Bye," said MJ. She sensed that Peter was hiding something from her, but she decided not to press the issue. She could trust him.
Peter's perspective:
Peter had a dilemma on his hands. He was at a loss as to what to do. He needed help. He paid Flash Thompson a visit. As a popular kid and on the field sports leader back in Queens High, he must have known all kinds of people. He could have helped. Also, being a one-time bully who had likely disappointed at least one of his many girlfriends over the years in one way or another, it was unlikely that Flash would judge Peter too harshly.
"Flash isn't here," said Flash's mother at the door of their apartment. "He's playing football with some others in Flushing Meadows–Corona Park." It made sense. Flash had gotten a scholarship to West Point as both military cadet and football player.
Peter went to Flushing Meadows to see Flash playing football with a few other future college players.
"Go long," shouted Flash as he threw the ball deep to one of the others.
After they played for awhile, Flash said to the others, "That's enough for today."
"Our usual bar?" asked a rotund player
"I'll be there later," said Flash. "My buddy's come to talk to me. See ya there! Hey, Pete." He and Peter bumped fists.
"West Point, huh?" asked Peter. "Never thought you to be a military man."
"My father thought I could use the discipline," said Flash. "He's probably right."
"I once never thought I'd say this," Peter held his hand out, "But I'm really gonna miss you."
Instead of shaking the hand, Flash said, "No, you won't. I know West Point's not exactly around the corner, but I'll visit."
"Glad to hear it," smiled Peter. "Could you advise me on a social problem I'm having?"
"Figures that's the kind of problem you'd have, geek," joked Flash. "What ya need help with?"
"I've met a pretty girl," said Peter.
"All right, Pete," Flash pounded his fists into the air. "Something happen between you and MJ?"
"It's not that simple," said Peter.
"I don't like where this is goin'," said a suddenly uneasy Flash.
"She's... making threats," said Peter. "And she's a thief, but..."
"Say no more," Flash cut him off. "There. You're setting yourself to have the wrong girl in control of your life. Sure, MJ's pushy too, but at least she's not 'evil bitch' kind of pushy."
"If only it were that easy," Peter tried to explain. "I don't see evil in her. You'd have to see her to know."
"Then let me talk to her," suggested Flash. He meant business.
"I don't think I can find her," said Peter. "She finds me."
"In other words," frowned Flash, "You got no way of protectin' yourself if she's a bad girl who wants to make you her dog. You're not dumb, Pete. Quit actin' like it."
"I have a feeling she's more complicated than that," Peter made his case again. He knew how bad this had to sound.
"Lemme tell you a story," Flash tried something else. "Back in the seventh grade, I caught a teammate smokin' pot. He apologized and promised to quit. I knew in my heart that he was lying, but I trusted him. They caught 'im. I got a month's detention and was almost cut. That's how these things end up, Pete. Walk away."
Peter took a moment to ponder Flash's story. "Thanks, Flash. You really helped me out."
"I sure hope so," said Flash. "Whatever you do, let MJ know who you've picked before it's too late. Trust me, they always find out."
Spider-Man's perspective:
Flash's words registered with The Web-Slinger as he swung towards Rockefeller Boulevard. He decided that he would have to get The Black Cat to talk a lot during dinner. Since she had demanded that Spider-Man sleep with her that night, she had to be figured out fast!
Spidey knew that Flash was right about one thing: Spider-Man could not let fear of what would happen once his secret identity was out guide him. If Flash's instincts about Black Cat were correct, Spider-Man had to turn her in and face the music.
Spider-Man found The Black Cat on a building with a cooked meal on a towel and portable microwave that had cooked dinner. Spider-Man rolled his mask up over his nose and sat down.
The food was salad, turkey and biscuits.
Ugh! This is so awful! Give me Aunt May's cooking any day! The Black Cat must have been too busy learning to steal to have much time for cooking.
"How is it?" asked Black Cat.
"G-great," Spider-Man humored her. When it came down to it, he was not very brave around The Black Cat. Not a good sign.
"Thank you," grinned Black Cat. "Why do you do what you do?"
"I... made a mistake a long time ago," said Spider-Man. "It gave me a strong sense of responsibility." He was not telling this woman that he got his uncle killed. Spidey was not giving The Black Cat that kind of argumentative ammunition against him should he decide to take her to the police.
"I'm the daughter of Walter Hardy," The Black Cat revealed.
"The world-famous thief Hardy?" asked Spider-Man.
Black Cat nodded.
"But I thought Wally had no children," Spider-Man remembered what he had learned about Walter when researching the underworld.
"He hated being called 'Wally,' so don't," insisted The Black Cat. "He hid me and Mom from the outside world in order to protect us from the police."
"I personally like to think they would have saved you, Cat," Spidey spoke his mind.
"From what?" asked Black Cat. "Money? Although Mom wanted a safer life for me, I followed in Daddy's footsteps. I've trained well and inherited his powers. He got them from a drug administered by a mob boss, in case you're wondering. He died in prison but it's not happening to me. I think I'm already an even better thief than he was at this young age."
"Very modest," said Spider-Man sarcastically. So it seemed that The Black Cat was only a burglar for her father. What to do with her was not getting any easier.
In time they finished dinner. "Time for desert," said The Black Cat, eyeing Spider-Man hungrily.
"You didn't bring any, Cat," Spider-Man pointed out. But he knew what she meant.
"Don't play dumb," The Black Cat put her arms around Spider-Man's neck. "It only makes you more lovable." Her lips met his.
For a moment, Spider-Man's head warned him that he needed to end this. Then he threw caution to the wind and returned the kiss.
You only live once. Drink her in. Huh? Spider-Sense? But The Cat's powers shroud her from it.
Spider-Man finally broke the kiss, rolled his mask back down, and stood up.
"I wasn't done," complained The Black Cat.
"We're no longer alone," said Spider-Man. "I've got a sixth sense about these kinds of things, no pun intended." He and The Black Cat began looking at the nearby buildings. Spidey could see nothing and The Cat seemed to be having no better luck, but the Spider-Sense kept tingling.
Who? Could Flash know who I am and be watching? He has heard both Spider-Man and Peter Parker's voices, after all.
Then Spider-Man noticed that he and The Black Cat were floating away. Looking up, Spider-Man noticed an aircraft that seemed to be lifting them in the air.
"I have you in a force field," said an Eastern European voice over a loudspeaker. "I am escorting you to my lair."
Black Cat looked scared out her beautiful body.
"You know this guy?" asked Spider-Man. No answer. Eventually, the two floated inside a room in a building. A gate shut behind them. There was a locked Steel door leading outside and a panel for installing a code for the lock. Inside the room was a small television set.
"OK," said Spider-Man, cracking his knuckles. "First I get us out of here, then the James Bond villain is gonna be sorry."
"Believe me," warned The Black Cat, "You don't want any part of Doctor Doom."
Spider-Man's eyes popped at the mention of he who was widely regarded as the most dangerous man in the world. "Doctor Doom? The arch nemesis of the Fantastic Four?"
"The same guy," said The Black Cat.
"I once teamed up with the FF," theorized Spider-Man, "But is that really enough to put me too high on his hit parade?"
"I don't think it was you he was after," said The Cat. "I once did work in Castle Doom."
"You mean you robbed him," said Spider-Man. "Gutsy."
"'Rob' is such a strong word," Black Cat got defensive. "I got a bagful of valuables from under his tin nose."
"You mean to tell me you pilfered Big D and went out with me in costume. And on a building where it wouldn't be hard for him to find us? You're an idiot."
"Who's stupider?" asked The Black Cat. "The idiot? Or the idiot who can't keep his eyes off her breast?"
Spider-Man went silent. She had him there. He had actually gone out with a criminal. And let her kiss him. Why had he not listened to Flash?
"You know, this all your fault," Spidey finally pointed a finger at The Black Cat.
"No, it's not," declared The Black Cat. "OK, maybe it is but, but..." Her thinking of what to say was interrupted by the TV turning on by itself. A man wearing a tin suit and green cloak was there.
"Change the channel," lamented Spider-Man.
"My apologies, Spider-Man," said the metal-garbed stranger. "I am Victor Von Doom, scientist and The Master of Latvaria. I sought only to catch the harpy who stole from me. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Choose your lovers carefully in the future."
"What do you plan on doing?" asked Spider-Man.
"First and foremost," said Doom, "I hope you have not gotten too attached to the thief, because she will receive the ultimate punishment."
The Black Cat was frozen with fear. Spider-Man was quick to say, "I'm not letting you kill her."
"She must be punished," demanded Doom.
"Not like that, she doesn't," said Spidey.
"Your objection is irrelevant," Doom dismissed him. "You will remain here until I have lured my greatest enemies, the Fantastic Four, to their deaths! Then I shall place this planet under my benevolent but iron will!"
"Well, Cat," said Spider-Man, "It looks like I've found someone worse than you." The TV shut off. Doom was finished talking.
Spider-Man pushed on the door leading out, but his Spider-Strength was unable to budge it.
"Didn't think it would be that easy," said The Black Cat. "Any other ideas?"
"I'm thinking," said Spidey.
Mr. Fantastic's perspective:
The man also known as Reed Richards was working on his latest science project when his best friend, Ben Grimm/The Thing, barged in.
"What's so important that you couldn't even knock before interrupting my work?" asked Reed.
"Doc Doom," explained Ben.
"Him again?" asked Reed.
"'Fraid so," Ben lead Reed to the den of the Four Freedoms Plaza.
"So I understand that my megalomaniacal old college classmate is up to his old tricks," said Reed to wife Sue Richards/The Invisible Woman and brother-in-law Johnny Storm/The Human Torch.
"Will he ever learn?" asked Johnny.
"With who he caught," said Sue, "I wouldn't be so cocky. He hacked into all local television with this." She played the recording.
The Fantastic Four could see Doom talking to the viewers. "Greetings, America. This is the future master of you and all others, Victor Von Doom. I present to you my prisoners of war."
Doom shifted the camera to show a monitor that displayed Spider-Man and The Black Cat locked in a room. Doom waited to let viewers fully grasp this.
"Oh, Lord," exclaimed Sue.
"I always knew Spidey was an amateur," said Ben.
Doom finally said, "As you can see, I now hold Spider-Man and The Black Cat captive. The Black Cat is a criminal who foolishly pilfered from the great Doctor Doom. Spider-Man simply chose the wrong lady to kiss. I now address the ultimate obstacles to my vision for the world: the Fantastic Four. However overrated Reed Richards' intelligence may be, his machinery should be sufficient to penetrate the anti-tracing technology I am using. I facetiously offer him and his friends a chance to surrender to me, one at a time, in exchange for my prisoners' lives. If they refuse these terms, because Doom knows that they will, I issue this challenge: come get them if you can! They have thirty minutes before I execute my captives." The recording ended.
"Spider-Man has a bad taste in lovers," lamented Sue.
"Tell me about it," said Johnny. "Even I know better than to date a criminal, even one that hot."
"Enough," said Reed. "We can't waste any more time. Victor is a most clever and dangerous man, and his hostages and deadline give him the advantage."
"No sweat," said a determined Ben. "We've always stopped metalhead before. It's clobberin' time!"
Spider-Man's perspective:
"I've got an idea," said Spider-Man.
"Believe me," said The Black Cat, "I'm glad to hear it. I'm the one he's gonna kill."
"Not if I'm right," said Spider-Man before he used his Spider-Strength to remove the metal panel with buttons that was used to unlock the door next to it by code. "This door seems to be electronically locked, so..."
Spider-Man made a web ball and threw it at the circuitry behind where the panel had been ripped off. With the circuits clogged up, Spidey was able to open the door.
"Not bad, Spider," Smiled The Black Cat. "Now it's time we started running for our lives!"
"You run for your life," commanded Spidey. "I'm tackling the Mandalorian reject."
"What?" asked a shocked Black Cat.
"He said he was planning on luring the Fantastic Four into a trap," Spider-Man reminded The Black Cat. "My responsibility is obvious."
"I disagree," said The Black Cat. "The FF have stopped him before. They'll do it again."
"I can't take that chance," resolved Spider-Man.
Black Cat sighed. "You had to fall for a hero, didn't you, Felicia? I'm coming with you. Before you give me some macho speech, remember that I got away from you a few nights ago and left you injured!"
Spider-Man studied her. The Black Cat seemed to genuinely want to help, but could she be trusted? "Why?"
"Because I like you," said The Cat simply. "Hope you didn't think I was lying about that, but if you do, all the more reason to help."
Spider-Man nodded. "Let's go."
Surprisingly, they faced no resistance as they searched for Doctor Doom. Spider-Man felt nervous; this was too easy. They eventually entered a chamber with Doom in it. Spider-Man dived on him, but was tossed aside before he could follow up. As Spidey turned a crash into a wall into a cling to it, he wondered how Doom had done this. Nothing indicated that he was this strong.
The Black Cat delivered a claw strike that did no damage. Doom took the arm and wrenched it behind her into a hammer lock. As Black Cat grunted in pain, Doom said with atypical crudeness, "Surrender or I break it!"
Instead, Spidey acted fast. He used his Spider-Speed to send a web line at one of Doom's arms, then used the webbing to swing him into a computer console!
This distraction enabled The Black Cat to escape. "My hero," she ran up to and hugged Spider-Man. Doom was electrocuted by the console he had physically penetrated and began making whirring and electrical sounds before perishing bloodlessly.
"What do ya know?" asked The Cat in surprise and joy. "Doctor Doom was just a robot after all. Wonder who made him? The important thing is, we're safe."
"No, we're not," Spidey shook his head. Before he could say anything else, his Spider-Sense went off. He hopped a good distance to the side and away from two laser blasts, dragging The Black Cat with him.
It was another Doom, peeking out of a trap door, with steam now emitting from his index fingers. He fully surfaced.
"Before I was so rudely interrupted," said Spider-Man. "That robot was a fake."
"You are quite bright, Spider-Man," complimented Doom. "It pains me to have to destroy a keen mind." Spidey and The Cat began dodging blasts. Spider-Man eventually had the time to launch a web net at Doom, but it was also dodged. This gave The Black Cat time to sneak up on him. Doom turned around at the last moment, but his finger blasters short-circuited, setting his fingers on fire!
As Doom put the flames out, Black Cat delivered a well-placed claw strike that squeezed in between metal segments to cut Doom's neck. His protection still saved him, but he ended up on the ground, moaning in pain.
Moving alongside The Black Cat, Spider-Man said, "How do you like her bad luck powers, Doom? Annoying, aren't they?"
"It takes more than bad luck to defeat Doom," he declared in the third person. He picked up a small device from underneath his cloak and used it to launch pebbles at Spider-Man and The Black Cat. The rocks were evidently designed to grow into boulders in open air. The Black Cat's powers stopped half of them from growing, but Spider-Man was barely able to slap even those that still grew away.
Doom had recovered and activated a small orb. It lifted several meters above ground and sent flame blasts at Spider-Man and The Black Cat. They both began dodging.
Spider-Man noticed that the orb somehow seemed self-aware enough to stay away from The Cat so her powers would not affect it. Neither of them could avoid the flames for long, so what to do? It could probably tear webbing, and how else could it be stopped?
Just as Spider-Man was thinking that, The Black Cat's grappling hook smashed into the orb, shutting it down, and forcing it to fall to the ground.
"Aren't you glad now that I came along, Spider?" grinned Black Cat as she retracted her grappling hook.
"If you can avoid being annoying," said Spider-Man. But he could not honestly be sure he would have lasted this long alone.
"The date is over," declared Doom. "I have many other tools to test on you oversized guinea pigs. You don't stand a chance against the genius of Doctor Doom! No! Not now! You had a narrow escape. I am still the winner." A jet pack in his belt lifted him into the air and through the ceiling.
"Chicken," shouted The Black Cat.
"Yeah," agreed Spider-Man. "But I'm not so sure it's us he's running scared of." He cast a web line at an edge of the hole in the ceiling that Doom had made. "Grab onto me but don't touch the web."
After Spidey climbed on top with Black Cat holding on, they noticed the Fantasticar chasing Doom through the air. "So that's it," realized Spider-Man. He must have something in that metal shell that..." He stopped talking at the sound of The Black Cat hitting the ground inside Doom's lair.
Spider-Man quickly crawled under the ceiling to see The Black Cat running away. Spidey sent a web line to her right leg and swept her off her feet with it before securely webbing her to the ground! From this far away, no need to worry about her powers.
"Now, now," Spider-Man waved a disapproving finger at The Black Cat, "It's not nice to run out without ending the date."
"You sure you want it to end this way?" asked The Cat. "You know you want me. You could be my conscience like you were tonight."
For a moment, Spidey actually began thinking about this possibility. "Forget it. You almost got me killed. Besides, I've already got a girlfriend who's not a thief. Face it, it's no contest."
The Black Cat sobbed and made crying sounds. Spider-Man scoffed, "Don't. I know you're messing with me."
The Cat went from sad to angry. "Does it matter that I helped you? You probably couldn't have survived without me, you know?"
She had a point. She had helped. "I'll just go," Spider-Man offered a compromise. "You get out of my webs and escape, you're free."
The Black Cat spat in Spider-Man's direction.
"Just give it a shot," said Spider-Man. "It'll be awhile before the FF either catch Doom or give up the chase. That gives you a lot of time before they come here. Don't waste it." He headed home and never looked back.
Reed's perspective:
"No, Johnny," cried Sue as she saw a flaming Johnny taking aim at a Doom trying to escape the Fantasticar. "Not at his jet pack." Too late. Johnny's fire blast had totaled the jet pack, causing Doom to fall. Reed outstretched his right hand to catch Doom but lost him to the Atlantic Ocean.
Johnny pounded his fists. "Yeah, baby! Yeah!"
"What are you 'yeah, baby-ing' about?" asked Reed. "Now Doom's going to escape."
"You don't know that for sure," argued Johnny.
"In the unlikely event that he doesn't," Sue pointed out, "You've got the shame of having needlessly killed someone."
"Sorry," Johnny said meekly.
"Is 'sorry' gonna get us Doom alive?" asked Ben.
"What's done is done," said Reed. "Let's investigate the building he fled for clues. It was obviously his base of operations."
Spider-Man's perspective:
Spider-Man entered his room through the window to face a very angry MJ.
I've got an "I told you so" coming to me from Flash, don't I?
"I guess I made the news," realized Spider-Man.
"You and the other woman you've been sleeping around on me with," said MJ.
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Spidey. Technically, he never slept with The Black Cat, but he knew that this was still falsely implying that nothing had gone on between them. He felt awful.
"Doom took over TV tonight," explained MJ. "He told me you dated and kissed a criminal. A criminal. I thought we were a couple."
"She found out who I am and blackmailed me," Spider-Man finally explained himself.
"Why should I believe you?" asked MJ. "You've lied to me twice about this. Once to my face."
"OK, I loved her kiss," said Spider-Man. "I'd have probably slept with her if Doom hadn't kidnapped us. I can't even promise that I wouldn't be wrapped around one of her front toes."
"We have a winner," said MJ.
"Is this goodbye?" asked Spidey.
"If you hadn't told me everything," said MJ, "It would be. You have told me everything, right?"
"Everything except I left her webbed up for the Fantastic Four," Spider-Man knew he needed to leave nothing out. "Chances are, she's in jail by now."
"Their driving Doom out of his hideout has made the news," said MJ. "Nobody's found her yet. You know what that means, right, Peter? She's out there somewhere." MJ pointed out the window.
"That's a possibility," The Web-Slinger said weakly.
"Here's the deal," said MJ. "If Black Cat ever comes after you again, web her up and call me."
"So you can see the police take her away?" asked Spider-Man.
"No," said MJ with hatred in her voice. "So I can personally murder the ho!"
Spidey gulped. "I don't think she's all bad. She did help me in a tight spot tonight."
"You actually want me to respect a bitch who tried to steal you from me?" asked MJ.
Spider-Man had no idea how to argue with that, although he knew it was not exactly right.
Life was complicated.