After the light, there was only darkness. I was almost certain I was dead until I heard the low whirls and beeps of machines. Next came the feeling of air being pumped up my nose, most likely through a nasal cannula. My lids felt heavy as I pried them open. I was instantly blinded by another white light, only this one was harsh and stung my tired eyes. The pain settled in before my vision did, causing me to let out a slight groan. My respiratory system burned, my head spun, and my body ached. My eyes finally focused, but when the feeling in them persisted, I was sure I had a concussion.

In a slight daze, I inspected the room I was in. It was plain and boring as most hospital rooms were. There was a bouquet of flowers in a blue vase on a nearby table along with several get-well cards. On the other side of the bed was a row of the most uncomfortable looking brown chairs, and in the chair closest to me was Liv. She was asleep, her head resting against the wall. Her clothes, although wrinkled, were different from the night before. Even in her sleep, her mouth formed a hard line, and she looked deeply exhausted. Suddenly, she jolted awake, her hand flying to her chest. "Nightmare?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

When her gaze found mine, her face instantly softened. "Amanda…"

I gave a small laugh, which was all I could muster through the pain. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

She returned a smile, but it didn't quite reach her brown eyes. "How do you feel?" She questioned as she took a hold of my hand and with a quick glance, I noticed the IV sticking out of it.

I rubbed my raw throat with the other hand. "Like I swallowed glass."

With a nod, she said, "The doctor's had to pump your stomach." Then she let go of me and turned her head away. I watched as her shoulders began to shake before she let out an uneven breath.

"Hey…" I murmured. I reached out my hand as far as it would go and placed my fingertips on her knee. "Hey...Why are you cryin', Liv?"

"I should have never let you go undercover, or I should have at least pulled you out sooner. After we saw the other men, or the gun, or even the drugs. We could have arrested them for drug possession."

"But that's not why we were there. You did everything right."

She looked at me, her eyes red and puffy. "You could have died, Amanda."

"But I didn't."

"But you could have!" Liv shouted.

"Don't you think I know that!?" I shot back. "It comes with the job. I knew what I was getting into the moment I decided to be a detective. Just be glad I'm not dead. The worst I got from last night was a concussion." She silently stared at me, the color slowly draining from her cheeks. "What?"

Swallowing hard and then drawing in a long breath she said, "That wasn't last night, Amanda. That was a week ago."

I froze. If it weren't for the nasal cannula I would have forgotten to breathe, but it didn't stop my throat from tightening. The beeping from one of the machines quickened to match my heartbeat. "W-what do you mean?"

"You were in a coma."

I rubbed my forehead, unsure of how to respond. My head pulsed from the concussion and made it hard to think. "Oh, God...my girls…"

"They're fine. They've been staying with me. Sienna watches them during the day, and Lucy watches them when Noah gets out of school. I told Jesse you're in the hospital. She wanted to see you, but I thought it best she didn't. I had her make a card instead." She reached over me to grab one of the get-well cards from the table before handing it to me. When I tried to sit up pain exploded through my ribs, which caused me to gasp and clutch them. She made a face as she took my arms to help me the rest of the way up. "I'm so sorry...I accidentally broke a few of your ribs while I was doing CPR."

"It's fine," I said through gritted teeth. I allowed myself time to adjust to the new position before I read the card. It contained a colorful crayon drawing of what appeared to be the girls, Frannie, and me with the words 'Get better soon, Mama!' written in Liv's handwriting along with Jesse's signature under it. She had recently learned how to write her name. I stared at the paper for a while, and though I knew I was crying, I didn't move to wipe my eyes.

I felt Liv's hand enclose around mine again. "Your girls love you, Amanda." After that, we talked and watched tv. Liv ordered some food for us, throwing in a comment about how she was famished.

"When was the last time you ate?" I asked.

Liv was quiet and her eyebrows drew together, struggling to remember. "I've mostly just been snacking when I have the time, which is rare." When the food came we were mostly quiet. I guess I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled the food and felt my stomach rumble. I tried to be modest, but I ended up nearly shoveling food into my mouth. Although it was just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a cup of fruit, and a cup of pudding it tasted good enough to make my eyes roll back a little. Then I chugged down three cups of lukewarm water. I drank slower when I got to my fourth cup, satisfied with the temporary relief from the burning in my throat. Liv caught me glancing at the flowers and said, "They're from Carisi."

I nodded and swallowed the last bit of water. "That was nice of him."

"Mhm." She pursed her lips. "Amanda, I'm sure you're tired, but before all of this you said you needed to talk to me."

"Must've slipped my mind," I replied, turning my attention to the ceiling.

"Was it about what happened that night after I drove you home?"

"You're right. I am tired. I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Then don't. Just listen." I heard her sigh. "I'm not pretending nothing happened, nor am I ashamed that it did happen. I've just...been putting it off the same way you have. It's a lot easier to keep those doors shut."

I finally met her gaze. "Then let them stay shut. Let's just live our lives the way we always have."

"You know that can't happen."

"What about Elliot?"

She shifted in her seat and folded her hands in her lap. "Elliot didn't tell me about his divorce to try to woo me, Amanda. If you had given me a chance to explain I would have told you that he wants me to testify at his family court hearing so that he can have split custody of his youngest son."

"Are you?"

"Of course, he's still my friend after all."

"And were you disappointed that it wasn't about something else?"

"I was, at first."

"And now?"

Shrugging slightly she answered, "I...I'm not sure. I think that maybe we were only ever meant to be work partners. He and I live in two different worlds."

We both fell quiet. My heart began to pound against my sore ribs. She smiled lightly, the lines around her eyes tightening. "What are you smiling about?" I said, amused. Liv nodded towards the heartbeat monitor. I blushed, forgetting she could hear every change in my pulse. It quicked more, which only caused her to smile wider. It was the same smile I had seen her share with Elliot. I inched in slowly, as not to scare her. This time when our lips met she didn't pull away but instead cupped my face in her hand. The kiss was soft and warm, unlike the many men I had been with before. When she broke away, it was only to catch her breath. Her pupils were dilated and her skin was flush, but I could only see her for a moment before we were at it again.

Neither of us was sure of what this feeling between us meant, and we were too scared to ask or even think about it. The only thing we were certain of was that a door had in fact been opened, one that could never close. But at that moment, we didn't care about it, or anything because for once, we both felt safe and at peace.

End.

(A/N: While this is the end of this story, I might make a sequel. However I might not be able to update very often because I want the sequel to be even better than this one, which takes time, and I don't have very much free time nowadays. But if you enjoyed this story, keep an eye out for the next!)