Chapter 10

Sunlight pooled in the bedroom and Neville smiled contentedly as Draco stretched and pressed his back against Neville's chest. It was Sunday morning and they were both lying in bed, Draco reading the newspaper and Neville reading one of the journals he occasionally guest-edited. It was a thoroughly pleasant way to spend a morning and Neville couldn't deny that he was more focused on the man in his arms than his reading material.

They were both naked from the waist up, Draco's skin pressed against his own. Neville's hand moved over Draco's chest and teased up and down his neck in a gentle caress, Draco arching into each touch like a cat. "I've read the same paragraph ten times," Draco said with a smile as Neville tilted his head to nuzzle Draco's temple.

"Am I distracting you?" Neville asked as his hand moved over Draco's ribs.

"You know full well you are," Draco said, turning his head to look up at Neville. "God you're so cute with those reading glasses on." He reached up and plucked them off Neville's face, placing them on his nose. "How do I look? Sexy librarian?"

"Very sexy," Neville murmured, leaning down for a kiss, cupping Draco's jaw as he did so. his hand travelled down the man's throat, his fingers brushing over Draco's collarbone then back up to twine through Draco's hair. Draco moaned softly and Neville was flooded with a sense of gentle yet powerful attraction.

"God," Draco said as he pulled back, his eyes a little hazy, "every time you touch me it's…"

"It's what?" Neville asked, letting his hand slide gently down Draco's back.

"It's perfect," Draco whispered. He took Neville's glasses off and placed them on the table then slid his arms around Neville's neck, pressing their chest together. "I never thought I'd be able to feel…arousal," he confessed quietly, his cheeks flushing, "but when you touch me…it's like nothing I've ever felt before."

"It's alright if you feel overwhelmed by it, it's a lot to process."

"I am overwhelmed," Draco admitted, "but I'm also hopeful." He reached up gently and ran his fingers over Neville's cheekbones then his jaw. "I'm hopeful that soon I'll be able to do more than just kiss."

"You know I don't expect – "

"I know," Draco said, pressing his fingers to Neville's lips with a smile. "But I want to, I want to be able to…be with you that way, to be that close to you."

"You are close to me."

Draco moved his fingers up to rake gently through Neville's hair. "Closer still," he said softly. "I want you, I want to know what it's like…how it feels to…be with you that way."

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. "But," Neville added, holding Draco gently, "if that never happens, if you never feel ready, I won't be going anywhere."

Draco turned his body and lay back against the pillows, taking Neville with him, their bodies pressed together as they met in a kiss that had Neville's head swimming. Maybe they would have sex one day, maybe they wouldn't, it didn't matter as long as they could continue to build on the intimacy they had already created.

They eventually left the bedroom, although Draco was insistent that one day soon they would spend the whole day in bed, complete with feeding once another erotic foods. "I knew I should never have let you watch 9 ½ Weeks," Neville had muttered, but was intrigued by the notion nevertheless.

"You um…you don't have work today, do you?" Neville asked as they sat in the kitchen and ate lunch.

"I'm a free man until my shift in the pub tomorrow evening. Why?"

"Well…" Neville began awkwardly, feeling nervous about what he was about to ask. "I was thinking of visiting my mum this afternoon. I wondered if you'd come with me."

He directed the question to his sandwich, not sure he could look up and meet Draco's eyes. He saw the man's hand reach for his own and he raised his head as Draco smiled at him.

"Of course I will. I'm touched you'd ask."

They were both nervous when they apparated to the hospital. Neville had never taken anyone with him before, not even Harry, who he trusted more than most. He didn't know what to expect and he was apprehensive about opening up this facet of his life to someone but he felt that he could trust Draco enough to make himself vulnerable.

Draco, in turn, was always nervous when venturing anywhere with large crowds, especially within the magical community. It meant a lot to Neville that he would put that aside in order to support him and he held the man's hand as they walked through the hospital corridors.

As a long-term resident, Neville's mother was away from the main hospital and had a small suite that consisted of a bedroom and sitting room with a private loo attached. Neville greeted the nurse who was responsible for her care and they had a brief chat about how Alice had been before Neville and Draco moved down the corridor to her room.

"Hi Mum," Neville said as they entered to find Alice sitting in an armchair by the window. She was smiling into the sunlight and turned her head to look at them as they came in. She said nothing but continued to smile and held her hand out towards Neville.

He took it and gave it a gentle squeeze, saying, "Mum, this is Draco. He's come to visit you too."

Her eyes flickered to Draco and he bowed his head, saying, "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Longbottom."

Alice released Neville's hand and began patting her pockets with a frown, rummaging around in them until she extracted a handful of detritus. She rifled through it and picked out a button then handed it to Draco.

Embarrassed, Neville was about to apologise and try to explain but Draco simply accepted the button and said, "Thank you very much, Mrs Longbottom. This is lovely."

Alice beamed at him and Neville felt a strange surge of relief. He took a breath and he and Draco sat on the chair opposite, trying not to squash one another.

"How have you been, Mum? Fatima says you've been keeping busy."

He knew there would be no answer, there never was, and it made him feel awkward and uncomfortable. It would have been different if he actually knew her, if they had a relationship that existed prior to her illness, but she was a stranger, connected only by blood.

"Well I've been busy with work," he continued. "My latest research is going well and…the house is still full with people from the Institute." Alice smiled benignly and Neville swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Draco…Draco's come to live with me," he carried on, his own voice sounding deafening against Alice's silence.

He faltered and felt Draco's hand slip into his own. He looked at the man beside him and Draco gave him an encouraging smile before he leant forward and said, "Mrs Longbottom, would you like me to do your hair?"

Startled, Neville watched as Draco stood up and fetched a hairbrush from the dresser. He came to stand next to Alice and showed her the hairbrush with a questioning look. She smiled at him and he began to gently brush Alice's long brown hair, Neville watching him, utterly transfixed.

"Now, I was thinking maybe we could put it in a loose plait or perhaps a sleek chignon?" Draco said conversationally as he continued to brush. "Well, you can decide which you like best. In the meantime, let me tell you what your brilliant son's been up to."

Neville sat in the chair opposite, watching as Draco worked his fingers through Alice's hair and began to style it. The man spoke easily, telling Alice all about Neville's endeavours and how hard he worked. Alice looked relaxed and happy as Draco began working her hair into an intricate plait and Neville felt overwhelmed watching them.

"You wouldn't believe it, he's totally the boss and when he says jump they all ask how high. It wouldn't happen, of course, if he weren't so brilliant. He's a genius, Mrs Longbottom, honestly. I know you must be very proud of him."

Draco looked up and met Neville's eyes with a smile, and Neville felt his pulse speed up. "There's a lot to be proud of," Draco said softly. "He saved my life, you know. He rescued me from a terrible situation and got me back on my feet. He's the best man I've ever known."

Draco spoke as though he were talking about the weather but he held Neville's gaze sincerely and Neville wanted to grab the man and kiss him senseless. Draco finished with Alice's hair and brought the mirror over so she could see herself. She patted the plait delicately with a soft smile and nodded enthusiastically at Draco.

"You like it? Excellent, it looks very pretty. Shall we take a look at those nails?"

He knelt on the floor in front of Alice and removed a pen from his pocket, transfiguring it into a nail file. He took one of Alice's hands gently in his own and set about shaping her nails. He picked up the conversation again, this time telling Alice about the village and his work in the pub and the shop.

He didn't falter once, never looked uncomfortable or as though he was scrabbling for things to say. Neville was amazed and he watched as Draco showered Alice with care and attention, talking to her rather than at her. If he hadn't already felt it creeping up on him over the last couple of weeks, he would have said that that was the moment he fell in love with the man.

He couldn't examine those feelings, not yet at least. He knew he felt things for Draco, things he'd never felt for anyone before, but for it to be love was something he wasn't sure he was ready for.

"There now, you look lovely. I'll ask Ginny or Luna if they have any nail varnish and next time I can paint them for you."

Neville felt slightly breathless at Draco's casual declaration that there would be a next time and he cleared his throat and said, "Would you like that, Mum? Would you like Draco to come back and see you again?"

Alice smiled and showed Neville her nails then patted her hair. She reached out and stroked Draco's shoulder and Neville couldn't remember when he'd had such a happy visit. He had never imagined that bringing another person into his strange family dynamic could help but he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, one he hadn't known he'd been carrying.

They arrived back home and Neville stood in the living room, feeling a little stunned. He felt a hand settle between his shoulder blades and he turned slowly to face Draco. He expected the kiss that he moved forward for to be hard and intense, a bruising tumult of the feelings he couldn't contain, but instead it was so gentle it nearly took his breath away.

One of Draco's hands cradled his head and the other was a comforting anchor in the middle of his back. His hands settled on the man's waist as the kiss became deep and sensual, Draco's tongue sliding over his own. He felt dizzy and light-headed, swept up entirely by the man whose arms he was in.

Draco's kisses were intoxicating. Whatever the man's reservations about intimacy, he held nothing back when it came to kissing and he was the most sensuous person Neville had ever met. His fingers danced through Neville's hair and Neville's skin felt electrified at the touch. He wanted to give himself over to the man entirely.

Draco pulled back and gently rested his forehead against Neville's. "Let me take care of you, hm?" he whispered, stroking his thumb over Neville's cheek.

"I don't – "

"Ssh. Time for a little role-reversal, love," Draco murmured.

Neville let himself be led to the sofa and he was wrapped up in Draco's arms, held against the man's body tightly. Gentle fingers combed through his hair and Neville was nonplussed at this change of circumstance. He hadn't been held this way before, hadn't been comforted and looked after by someone he had feelings for. It was nice, more than nice, and he cuddled in close, nestling into Draco's chest.

"You were amazing today," he said quietly as Draco's hand trailed softly over the back of his neck.

"I enjoyed it. I'd be more than happy to go again."

"I don't know what to say. I'm…overwhelmed."

"You don't have to say anything. It was an honour to go with you." Draco continued his gentle caresses and said, "I can only imagine how hard it is for you and I'm sorry that your mother's been reduced to such circumstances. You don't have to deal with it on your own, not anymore."

Unable to say anything in response, Neville burrowed in closer and revelled in the feeling of being held. He hadn't realised how much he wanted to be taken care of until that moment and, frightening though it was, he was prepared to let Draco do just that.

"Sweetheart, I'm sure Draco's fascinated but perhaps we could leave the rest of your collection for another time?" Harry said, straightening his tie as they all sat in the living room at The Gables.

"I haven't even shown him the amphibians yet!" Teddy protested, halfway through showing Draco his collectible figurines of animals from around the world.

"I know, my darling, but we're all due at the Ministry in a bit and I know that you'll go on for hours if we let you," Harry said fondly. "Is this tie straight?" he asked, turning to face George.

"No, my love. It looks like you put it on with your feet," George said with a grin, fixing it for him. "Merlin, you're sexy in formal wear," he said sliding his hands over Harry's hips.

"You two are gross," Teddy said with a look of disgust. "Draco, can I show you the rest of it later when you come back for dinner?"

"Of course," Draco said, wrapping an arm around Teddy's shoulders as the boy scrambled all over him as he usually did. "Truth be told, I'd rather stay here with you anyway."

"It'll be fine," Neville assured him. "I know you're nervous but no one will even notice you. We'll pop into the Ministry and be done before you know it."

"Nev's right," George said, shifting to stand behind Harry, wrapping his arms around him. "And once it's done you'll be able to apply for your Psychology course and get things rolling."

Draco had an appointment with the department in the Ministry that would provide him with all the paperwork he needed to study in the muggle world. He knew it needed to be done but he was still incredibly wary about going into wizarding society, especially somewhere so busy.

"Besides," George said, resting his chin on Harry's shoulder, "I need you and Nev to escort my husband and make sure he doesn't overdo it. He has my daughter to think of."

"I'm addressing the medical board," Harry said, rolling his eyes and leaning back into George. "It'll be half an hour, tops."

"I know what you're like when you get going. Just remember your blood pressure please."

"Which one of us is the healer? I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and our daughter."

"Well if you're not back by 5 I'll come and drag you out by your ear," George said, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"Yes sir," Harry said, extracting himself and turning to kiss George sloppily. "What would I do without you?"

"I truly wonder."

They said their farewells, Teddy still put out at losing his favourite person, then made their way through the floo to the Leaky Cauldron. They went with Harry while he ran a few errands then apparated to Westminster and walked to the entrance to the Ministry.

Neville kept close to Draco, an arm around his waist or the man's hand held in his. Draco kept his head up and his shoulders back but Neville knew he was terrified of being recognised, of someone launching an attack on him. If anyone did recognise him, nothing happened. They made it into the Ministry and across the atrium without incident and Neville prayed their luck would hold.

Harry left them to go to his meeting and Neville and Draco rode the elevator to the department they needed. The process itself was long and boring, involving far too much paperwork and questions that were asked on repeat. Thankfully the witch dealing with them either didn't know who Draco was or didn't care and she was nothing but professional and polite.

It took over an hour and he and Draco laughed all the way back down to the atrium about how shell-shocked with boredom they were. Neville wrapped his arm around the man's shoulders and told him he'd buy a bottle of sinfully expensive champagne when Draco sent off his application to the Open University.

Harry joined them, rolling his eyes at the stupidity of the board members and cursing them to eternity. They were complaining about the senseless bureaucracy that strangled so many endeavours when Neville felt Draco go rigid beside him. He looked and saw that the man had gone deathly pale, his jaw clenched, his eyes wide and staring fixedly ahead.

"Draco?" he ventured. "Love, what is it? What's wrong?"

He followed the man's line of sight and saw a middle-aged man standing by the fountain, reading through a file. There was nothing remarkable about him, nothing that stood out, and Neville didn't know what it was about him that had affected Draco so.

"Drake?" he tried again. "Who is that?"

"Customer," Draco said with a sharp exhale, and Neville's blood ran cold. "I…I need to leave, I need – "

"It's ok, we'll go."

"I can't…I can't do this. He can't see me, I – " Draco stammered, panic flashing in his eyes. "I need to get out of here." He broke away from Neville and ran towards the floo, disappearing in a flash of green.

"Fuck!" Neville swore. "What do we do?" he asked Harry.

"Let's go back to yours, check he hasn't gone there."

Neville tried to quell the rising sense of panic he felt, but as they returned to the cottage and found no sign of Draco, panic seemed an inevitable reaction.

"He isn't here," he told Harry, coming back downstairs from his sweep of the bedrooms.

"Ok, let's just stop to think a minute. Where would he go? Do you know any of his old haunts?"

Neville shook his head agitatedly. "He never talks about his life before. I have no idea where he'd go."

"Right," Harry said with a decisive nod, "only one thing for it; we'll have to go back to the place you found him see if they can tell us anything."

"You can't…you can't come with me, not in your condition."

"I'm pregnant, not terminal," Harry said with a glare. "And I can handle a couple of lowlifes with my eyes closed. Besides, I care about Draco too, I want to make sure he's ok."

Knowing that he had no option but to relent, and more worried about Draco than anything else, Neville apparated back to Diagon with Harry and together they walked to Knockturn. Neville found the place he had first found Draco and, ignoring the looks cast his way, thumped on the door hard.

It took a while for the door to open but, eventually, amidst curses and crashes from within, it swung open to reveal a snarling, sour-faced man. "What?" he asked with a growl.

"I want information."

"Good for you. Fuck off and get it then."

He went to close the door but Neville wedged his foot in it. "I want information about someone who used to work here. Draco Malfoy, do you know him?"

The man smiled nastily and said, "Yeah I know him. The little prick owe you money?"

Neville gritted his teeth and said, "No I just need to find him. Can you tell me where he might be? Where he used to hang out?"

"Why?" the man asked with a leer. "You…uh…an old 'friend'? Used to come around here before, hm?"

"No," Neville said, doing his best to keep his temper in check, feeling the bile rise in his throat.

"We just want to track him down," Harry said from behind Neville. "Will you help us or not?"

"Oh, I see," the man said with a slow drawl. "You both want a piece of him, eh? Well, he's very good at that, a pro at being double-teamed. He'll take it any way you can give it, he'll let you use him and abuse him any way you like as long as the price is right. So I really hope you find him gents, because he'll give you a real good time and you can fuck him all night long."

Neville's fist connected with the man's jaw and he want sprawling back into the corridor, landing with a thud. Two other men appeared but Harry had his wand on them in an instant, saying menacingly, "I really wouldn't."

"Get the fuck out of here," the man snarled from the floor, clutching his jaw.

"Come on, Nev. They aren't going to tell us anything," Harry said, giving Neville's arm a tug.

Neville let himself be pulled back down the alleyway, anger resonating through his entire body. He could have killed the vile, loathsome cretin and part of him wanted to go back and do just that. They walked back into Diagon and Harry made him stop and take a few deep breaths before he pulled him into a hug.

"It's ok, Nev. He'll be alright, I promise."

"What do we do now?" Neville asked, feeling completely lost.

Harry shook his head, looking just as uncertain as Neville felt, and said, "Maybe we should go back to yours. Wait for him to turn up."

"If he turns up," Neville corrected. "Fuck, what if he – "

"No," Harry said firmly. "We're not doing 'what if' or speculating on things that might be. He's going to come home and he's going to be fine, ok?"

Neville wasn't sure if he could fully believe that but it was better than the alternative. Harry pulled him into a one-armed hug and said, "It'll be ok," before he apparated them both back to Neville's cottage.

"If it isn't terribly English, maybe we should have some tea?"

Neville managed a small laugh said, "The stereotype's there for a reason. Come on, I'll put the kettle on."

They both made their way to the kitchen and stopped dead in their tracks. Draco was sitting at the kitchen table, his arms wrapped around himself, his head bowed low. He looked up when they came in, his face pale and his eyes red. He stood up slowly and Harry moved forward to wrap him up in a hug.

"Don't ever frighten me like that again," Harry whispered as he held the man close, "or I'll set Teddy on you." He pulled back and said, "Are you ok? Do you need any treatment?"

Draco shook his head and Harry sighed, pulling him into another hug before saying, "I'll leave you two to it then. Call me if you need me."

"Thanks Harry," Neville said quietly as Harry left the kitchen, the noise of the floo sounding moments later. "Where did you go?" he asked Draco, relief starting to make him feel sick and light-headed.

Draco reached into his pocket and extracted a small bag of white powder. He threw it down on the kitchen table, his face pinched. Neville stared at it, dread setting in the pit of his stomach. He took a deep breath and said, "Did you take any of it?"

Draco paused then eventually shook his head. "No," he said quietly.

"Thank fuck," Neville said with a sigh of relief.

"I wanted to. I wanted to take it and block everything the fuck out, pretend I'd never seen that bastard again…but I couldn't undo the last six months."

Neville stepped closer and tentatively placed his hand on Draco's cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to see that guy, that you had to reminded of – "

"He didn't look like much, did he?" Draco said softly, moving to look out of the window. "Just an average, middle-aged, white-collar worker, no one would look twice at if they passed him in the street." He paused, a frown between his brows, his expression distant. "He was the most depraved, the most sadistic…I can't even bring myself to tell you what he made me do."

Neville felt sick and he tried to stop himself from imagining what foul things that bastard had subjected Draco to. In that moment he wanted to kill the man and he was glad he had no way of finding out who he was or where he lived.

"Seeing him again today…it was so terrifying. I just…froze, I went into panic mode. The only thing I could think of was getting my hands on whatever drugs I could and blocking everything the fuck out. I went to an area in the muggle world I used to live in, got my hands on the stuff and…I couldn't take it."

He turned around to face Neville, his face ashen but his expression resolved. "I realised that I didn't want to block it out, I didn't want to feel numb, I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to be in the one place with the one person who could chase those demons away, who could make me feel like I was worth more than what that man did to me."

He moved to stand in front of Neville, looking so hurt and vulnerable that Neville wanted to wrap the man up in his arms and promise him that nothing would ever hurt him again.

"I know I'm asking a lot, I know I'm putting more responsibility on your shoulders than is probably healthy in a relationship but you're…you're the first person who's made me feel that I'm worth something. For the first time in a long time I have something that I truly care about, something that's worth fighting for and that means dealing with the past rather than drugging myself into oblivion to forget it. I'm a stronger person than I was six months ago and I have you to thank for that."

"You were always strong, you just needed someone to stand with you," Neville said, reaching out and taking Draco's hands in his own. "And I'm only too happy to be the one to do that, I'm happy to be your safe place."

"More than that," Draco whispered. "You're more than a safe harbour, Neville. You're more than my road to recovery…you're the man I'm in love with."

Neville's pulse quickened and Draco looked down at the floor, his hair falling in his face. "I didn't mean to just blurt that out and I'm not expecting you to say it back…"

Neville slipped a finger beneath Draco's chin and tilted his head back up. He placed his hands on the man's cheek and leant forward to capture the man's lips in a soft and tender kiss. He moved his lips over Draco's, cradling the man's head as he held him close, pouring everything he felt into the gentle, meaningful kiss.

"If you don't realise that I'm in love with you too, then you're an idiot," Neville whispered, pulling back but continuing to hold Draco close.

"Such a pretty declaration," Draco said with a laugh. He placed his hands on Neville's chest and said, "Are you sure you want me? Baggage and all?"

"Baggage and all," Neville confirmed. "Are you sure you want me?"

"Ask a silly question," Draco said, pulling him back into a kiss that had his head swimming.

AN: A bit of an angsty one but with a hopeful end! I'm updating two chapters this week because my fortunes have suddenly turned around - the company I interviewed with liked me so much they created another job for me, so I'm now employed! It's only a temporary position but I'm thankful for anything I can get in these tumultuous times.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, please leave a review and let me know.