A/N: sorry, i'm reposting because there has been a transmission problem and some of you couldn't have access to the chapter. thanks for your views and comments, it's highly appreciated!

It was one of those nice days, sunny and bright but with a little wind. And for the first time since Peyton's birth, Sasha was enjoying a run outside. In fact, she was having a day off and wanted to do everything she couldn't do when she was at the office. And the little bonus was Tom being off too. The minute she woke up, she jumped into sport clothes and dragged him out of bed before he could even have a chance to come up with an excuse.

"Come on old man, if I recall you used to have a better endurance." She teased, looking back at him.

They had been running for at least thirty minutes and Tom was already behind her, still recovering from his old wounds. And to be honest he didn't even remember the time he went for a run, usually not taking time for this activity. When he reached Sasha, he looked at her, out of breath, trying to look offended.

"Old what ?" he managed to say, taking a sip of water, while she stroke his cheek, smirking. "If I recall, you didn't call me that last night."

"That's because you weren't that slow yesterday….." she said with affection. "And by the way you ar…" She didn't get to finish her sentence, suddenly pulled over his shoulder and being carried like a potatoes bag, her face almost glued to his buttock.

"Thomas Chandler! Let go of me!" she laughed, trying to fight back, knowing she wouldn't win because if she was tougher than him at running, he definitely had more strength than her in everything else.

"What are you saying love ?" he was speaking quietly but amused, walking in the neighbourhood the more normal way, acting casual and greeting the few people crossing their way, still holding Sasha over his shoulder like if she weighted nothing. "I can't really hear you babe."

"For god's sake, please…" she said, pinching his butt but it didn't seem to affect him. In fact, it made him smile even more, tightening his arms around her legs.

"I say again, old what ? I'm not sure I understood you well. And by the way, you can call me Tom i think it's gonna be more than enough."

"Come on old man, let go if me!" Only his laugh answered her as he pushed the door of their house, crossing the hallways and heading upstairs. Ashley and Sam were in the sofa watching TV, Peyton in the cosy before them and they both looked so confused.

"What's wrong with you guys…." Ashley muttered, half desperate half amused, Sam nodding, probably thinking the same.

"You guys really needs to stop being that weird." he added, laughing and turning back his attention to the show. "Right Pey ?"

Once they reached their bedroom, Tom didn't let go of Sasha, not just yet, that was just too fun to stop and he loved to see her freaking out because she was losing control. "How are you down there love ?" he asked, on his way to the bathroom.

"Only thinking about how you old man wont have sex for the next two weeks." she tried to sounds mad but she wasn't, and she couldn't really hide it.

"Oh really ? Is that what you really want ?"

"Yes. No. Ah huh. Please, Tom, my handsome old man, let go of me ? Please ?" She tried, softer this time. And to her surprise, he let go of her, laying her down over the bed, staying stand before her, a smirk over his lips.

"I'll go with handsome only." he smiled. "And next time you want me to run early in the morning, even before my coffee, don't keep me awake all night…." trying to be serious, trying really hard.

"No more couple duties at night then ?" She teased. "Only sleeping huh ?"

He was about to confirm but when he saw two beautiful eyes looking at him, full of innocence and sweetness, he felt his heart clench. She was way too adorable and he was afraid that Peyton would be the same later… "You little devil, you know too well how to have your way with me…" he grinned, benching his head and slowly kissing her, his hand at the back of her head. She deepened the kiss, crawling back in the bed so he could join her.

"Always…." She whispered, nibbling his lower lip, letting him take her hand so she could feel his hard length through his sweatpants. And feeling him already thick and hard made her feel so happy. "Tom….. we should stop now before we can't stop…"

"Why not…" he said, cupping her breast, trying to control himself to not tear off her clothes, pin her to the mattress and take her right now.

"Because I have a coffee date with Azima and I don't want to be late again. Same song every time…." She chuckled, kissing him over and over again, still trying to escape.

"A date ah huh."

She benched her head, looking at him with pure love and amusement. "Tom Chandler are you jealous ?"

"So what's your excuse this time ?" Azima glanced at her while filling their coffee cups. "Because last time you were late too, and I don't even remember the dumb excuse you showed up with."

"I have a baby, actually a new born, so it's hard not to be late." Sasha said as an excuse, looking a bit sorry.

"You know I'm kidding right ?" the Kenyan said, laughing. "Sasha the wild and independent soul is gone, now she's a mother, guess things had changed and it's normal." And as she spoke, she saw Sasha's cheeks blushing, immediately understanding. "Oh my god, wait, you didn't get late because of Peyton. You got laid!" And all she got was a little smirk confirming everything.

"Wow, you two are like war sex machines, don't you ever stop sometimes ?" It was more of a statement than a question. "I thought Wolf and I were better because we are younger but you two apparently are still in the race." she laughed, taking a sip of coffee.

Sasha looked away, not that open on her sexual life, at least less than Azima was. But she couldn't hep the images from this morning coming back in force in her head, suddenly feeling a good pressure growing inside her chest. Still in the game, definitely.

"So," she started again. "Do you like office time ? Or are you planning to go back to your old life ?"

She bitted her lip, knowing what she wanted to answer but that was a bit more complicated now. Like Azima said before she was a mom and she couldn't leave her daughter behind, she was way too young. That was the same dilemma she had the other day and she still had no clues on how to solve it. Worst, she was afraid about explaining it to Tom, wondering how he would react.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I don't think Tom would be really happy if i was telling him I want to be deployed again, that soon."

"But maybe you should tell him anyways before he learn it from someone else and this time, I promise you he won't like it and let you do whatever you want like you did few months ago." She warned. "Captain Tom is a good man, he loves you with every fibres of his being, whatever you decides, he'll supports you, even of it's hard."

"That's exactly why I don't want to have this discussion now, because I need to slowly make up the idea in his head so it would be easier for him to understand I can't stand with the office life I've been having. You know, making strategies, gathering intel and resources, I prefer being on the field and do it my way, without all those protocols." she whispered, but smiled when she hear her friend's last words. Yes, Captain Tom was a good man, she never doubted about it.

She slight smiled, clearly hearing Tom's voice saying she was too stubborn and that one day it would get her killed, because protocols existed for a reason. "Sasha knows best" like he told her so many times but she was referring to this particular day, on the docks in Hong Kong. And he was pretty upset at her. And she suddenly realised, she suddenly got it. She was thinking the same way Ashley did, when something was up and bothering her, but she was too scared to tell her dad because she didn't know how he would react. And Sasha didn't want to think this way, she wanted a very and honest relation ship with Tom, no secrets.

"Sash ?" Azima snapped fingers at her. "You're as white as a sheet what's going on ?"

"I'll tell him." she only answered, taking a sip of coffee, losing herself a bit more in her thoughts as she vaguely listened to Azima's stories, all of them including Wolf and his skills in bed.

Tom was in the middle of a weapons report, working in a bubble. He didn't even hear when Sasha came back, only focusing on the screen and papers before him. When he suddenly felt kisses on his neck, he almost jumped out his chair, immediately recovering when he saw her.

"You little devil, you really like scaring your old man huh ?" He said, grabbing her waist so she could sit on his lap, kissing her. She smiled against his lips, her hands finding their way to his short hair, straddling him.

"Don't make me want to trade you for a younger model…." She said in a soft and lovely voice, losing herself in their heated kiss.

"You wouldn't do that right ?" he pinched her, making her giggle on his lap, laughing.

"I might. Are you almost done ?" pointing at the laptop, hoping he would be done because she really wanted to enjoy this day off with him, especially because the kids were out with their friends. And while Peyton was sleeping, free time was being so precious.

"Few hours and I'll be, why ?"

She bitted on her lower lip, a bit disappointed. That was always a big step to take but once in, she knew it would be okay, at least she was hoping it would be. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Important stuff but don't worry it can wait, finish your test, I have some laundry to do." she kissed his forehead and stood up, leaving the room before he could say a word. He met her two hours later, the house was still oddly quiet, and Peyton was still surprisingly sleeping. Tom found her all curled up in a blanket on their sofa bedroom, with her laptop, smiling to this view. He slowly came behind her, lowering himself and softly kissing her neck, wrapping his arm around her chest in a loving cuddle.

"Hey…" she whispered, kissing his hand, closing her computer to put it on the side.

"Hey babe…" he muttered, nibbling the top of her ear, playing with her beautiful dark hair. "I've missed you." joined her and pressed his forehead against hers.

"I love you."

He answered with the most loving and sweetest kiss, starting slow and ending it almost hungry, unable to stop "Tom…wait… I wanted to tell you something." she cut. "You know I really like our life, especially now you're not on the ship anymore." He frowned, but stayed quiet, listening to her. So she continued, her heart beating very fast in her chest, with a deja vu feeling, like when she had announced twenty years ago to her parents she was dropping college to become a naval officer. "I still need the doctor approbation but i think i'll be ready by 3 months."

"Ready for what exactly ?" he wasn't sure what she wanted to tell him exactly, and if he was understanding well, the idea wasn't that great. "What are you telling me Sasha ?"

"I…." she felt frozen, looking at his blue eyes, hoping she wouldn't disappoint him, she wanted everything but make him feel miserable and sad. "I want to join back Vulture team. As a naval intelligence officer i'm gonna be a big asset to the team, plus it's what i'm good at. I've been thinking a lot about it, and it has nothing to do with you or the kids i just, feel like i belong there. My place isn't behind a desk all day, i would feel more useful on the field."

She paused for a second, he didn't even blink, standing up and going at the window, hands crossed behind his back, straight, in the perfect military position. She immediately knew he was annoyed, and unhappy about what she had just told him. Carefully joining him, she tried to wrap her arms around his waist, her head resting against his shoulder blades.

"Please Tom, i'm not saying i want to be sending off 90% of the year, just try to understand." she whispered.

"Sash….. things are different now, and as much as i don't like the idea of you getting deployed for months away from here, it's not only about you and me. In what part of your plans are you including Peyton, Ashley and Sam ?" he said in a flat voice, still looking through the window. "They need you and more important the need you alive. Whats the goal of extending our family if you jump head first in the first mission, and i don't know, if you get shot ?"

I need you. he thought deep inside, unable to hide his pain when the idea of waving her bye was crossing his mind. I love you so much, am i not enough to make you happy…?

He swallowed hard, he wasn't mad, he was just feeling miserable. And that's probably how Darien had felt all those years ago, when he was away all the time, coming back only few weeks every six months. He had made her feel that and now it was his turn. It was painful and he suddenly felt guilty, even more. She felt his muscles clench, like if he was contracting all of his body, to keep all of his emotions inside. But she didn't let him go, her arms still wrapped around him, tight.

« Sash... » he sighted. « Why don't you try to think about it so we can talk later and advise what's the best plan ? » he asked, knowing he would regret those words because she wasn't the type of gal who was letting her boyfriend decide everything and anything.

« Because it's all planned already, I'm not asking you if you're okay, I'm just telling you I'm ready. The deal was resting before I give birth, taking it easy remember ? I'll be combat ready very soon. And I know you can understand, deep inside... » her hand traveling down to his chest, resting on his heart. He grabbed her hand and hold it tight, unable to turn around yet and look at those bright baby eyes and imagine never seeing them again. Knowing her outside without him to catch her back, or even care for her was terrible, he hated it, and even if he had tried several time to be fair, he wasn't. Sasha was priority number one in every mission they'd done together.

« No I don't, not now, please try to consider the idea Sash. Is it that bad, a 9-5 job ? I mean you are an asset for the navy, not only on the field you know."

He was trying, trying to keep her, selfishly to his side, blind to the fact she wasn't fully happy. But he couldn't imagine losing her, he would be so devastated and probably would never recover. He had understood, mostly because of his mistakes, that Sasha was and would always be the love of his life.

"You can't be serious, asking me that. Right ?" she feared the answer, knowing it was the reaction she had been expecting. Because it has always been his dream, the typical American life, a big house with a wife and children, and being the man working to afford his family needs. "Tom…"

He finally turned to look at her, feeling sorry about asking this much to her but knowing he couldn't let her go without even arguing a bit. He needed her and couldn't let her go, without him. She was the best, since day one at the academy, but she was also human after all. "You didn't answered, about Peyton. She's just a baby." He said quietly, locking his gaze into hers. "What will I tell her if anything happens to you, or even to Ashley and Sam ?"

It's like if the words were suddenly stuck in her throat, burning her. "I'll let you think about everything. I have some stuff to do before dinner." she said, swallowing hard, clearing herself from him.

"Sasha wait."

She didn't turn around, knowing it would go into a huge fight she wasn't ready to have. But what she didn't expect was him going after her, trying to have the discussion she was avoiding. She had dropped the bomb and was running away from it. "Please Sasha. You can't just run away every time you don't want to talk about something ok ?"

"Ironic isn't it ? This, coming from Tom Chandler himself." She immediately regretted her words, seeing his face going blank for few seconds. "I can't say what you want to hear, I…." she suddenly had no more words to say, feeling herself miserable for being selfish, for being such a pain in his ass. He was right, Peyton was a baby, and she deserved to know her mom, unlike her. Ashley and Sam had lost their mom, and she didn't want them to experience it again with her, even if she wasn't their mom. Her family, the kids, Tom, all the moments together, everything was perfect. But something deep inside was telling her this new rhythm wasn't fit for her, and her needs. Tom was the same one, but he didn't want to admit it, that he was miserable when at home, because he needed to be at sea.

"I probably deserved that." he finally said, still looking at her with such an intensity she felt awkward, trying to avoid those piercing blue eyes, unable to hide her emotions. She usually was really good at it, that was her job, but with Tom she was like a teenager talking to her crush for the first time.

"I'll go, i have some stuff to do before the kids comes back home…." she whispered. She turned around to go downstairs, and everything happened very quickly, before she could realise it. She slipped on the first step, falling down the stairs before Tom could reach her, banging her head on the floor and feeling a terrible sharp pain in her right wrist.

"Fuck, Sasha!" he almost ran, kneeling at her side, already noticing the bleeding cut over her eyes brow, and the wince over her face when she tried to move her wrist. "I'll get you to the hospital." and seeing she was about to argue back, he glanced at her a look try me, dissuading her to even talk, carefully lifting her up to get her to the car. He then went back into the house to get Peyton, and drove as fast as he could to the emergencies.

A concussion and 5 stitches, a broken wrist and a twisted tendon, 6 weeks of complete immobilisation in a plaster, physiotherapist and severe pain.

That's what the doctor told her and Tom. Just because she fell down in the stairs. She felt old and broken, literally. During the way back both of them were quiet, Sasha was looking through the window, lost in her thought and a bit groggy from the drugs she had to take at the hospital to stop the pain.

"Well, turns out i'm probably the oldest between the two of us." she finally said, a soft smile over lips, turning to look at him. "So maybe it's your turn to trade me for a younger model, stronger, obedient huh…"

Tom slowly rubbed her thigh with his thumb, with affection, looking lovingly at her, knowing they would continue their chat later, now she was probably too high to understand everything. But at least she was smiling, and didn't seem to think it was his fault. He was blaming himself for pushing her too much. He had seen her fell and for being too slow she broke her wrist, because he didn't catch her fast enough. "Well, i do like us being old wild spirits." he said, taking her left hand in his and slowly kissing it.

"And i do like you."

When they arrived - late - at home, lights in the living room and the kitchen were still on. Tom had sent a text to Ashley to tell her why they weren't home, knowing she would perfectly handle the situation, take care of Sam and even make him dinner if he was, as always, hungry. He helped Sasha to get out of the truck, and slowly took Peyton who was slowly awakening, probably hungry. When they got in, he immediately noticed the two plates in the sink, and the books all over the table, happy to see that Ashley was taking her big sister duties very seriously.

"Dad! Sasha, finally you're he…oh my god what happened ?"

Both of the kids almost ran to them, looking both at them, and at Sasha wrist plastered up to her elbow, all maintained by a large medical scarf. And the least they could say, she looked different from usual, she had a bandage just over her eye brow, and some bruises. "Sasha fell down the stairs, so both of you, try and be careful, no running, understood ?" Tom said.

They nodded, trying to guess if they could just hug Sasha like they took the habit, really attached to her. She guessed their dilemma and slowly opened her unwounded arm so they could come. Kissing the top of their heads, she smiled, looking at Tom, almost shyly, feeling so grateful to be loved by his children.

"Recover well Sasha, i can try to cook now, so it can help you…" Ashley started.

"And so we won't be starving…." Sam added, looking at his dad who immediately tried to look very hurt by his son's words.

"Do i have to take it personally ?" looking at both of the kids, and Sasha, all of them trying to hold their laugh. "Wait, don't tell me you are agree with them ?" looking at the beautiful naval officer, who only nodded in approbation, unable to lie and tell him his cooking skills were as excellent as his shooting skills.

They shrugged and looked at him, both sorry and amused. "Well, remember the pizzas last time…"

"Or the pancakes…" Sasha said, softly laughing, trying to control herself to not crash her lips onto Tom's ones, finding him absolutely cute when he was in this fake offended mood.

"Or even the mac and cheese…" said a frustrated and groaning Sam, remembering the day Tom burned his favourite meal. "Sasha knows best." He didn't know know the whole and deep meaning behind this sentence, but both of the adults immediately noticed it, Sasha getting a bit more how much sam was look a like his father.

"Come on guys, it's past your bed time and you have school tomorrow." Tom clapped his hands, showing the stairs with his head. He kissed them both and looked at them going upstairs after they waved them good night, trying to erase from his memory the latest images of Sasha falling down and breaking her wrist. He took Peyton and went to warm up some maternal milk for her, knowing Sasha wouldn't be in condition to breastfeed her tonight.

"Did i already tell you that you would make a perfect housewife ?" she softly said, looking at them both, with a gaze full of love and tenderness. His only answer was a soft smile, holding the bottle for the little one in his arms, who had clearly inherited from the same stomach as Sam.

"Never doubted that between the two of us, i would be the perfect one.." he smirked, coming closer and kissing her forehead, as she reached out her hand to Peyton, who firmly gripped her finger, feeling safe between both of her parents.