Chapter 11: Mixed emotions

…

One week later.

"I tell you; you should get in there!" Jenna and Jade were sitting in Jenna's living room. Jade and Phil had texted almost every day since that meeting on the Friday night. "He obviously really likes you, what are you waiting for? Don't you fucking dare say I'm married."

"Well," Jade looked her sister straight in the eye. "I am."

Jenna snorted. "Yeah, to a masked killer who doesn't give a damn about you! He even said you can date another for all I care, you told me! So do it!"

Jade sighed. This was true. But it also meant if she was going to do this, Phil had to know the truth. All of it.

"I know," she said to her sister. "I also know you're right. It just might be… Difficult. I'll have to tell him everything. Don't say I won't, think about it! If I'm going to see where a relationship might go, he has to know! Imagine if he found out six months later! Honesty is the key in a relationship, you've told me so yourself."

Jenna sighed. "I know and you're right. But seriously girl, do it! I told you when you told me you'd seen him! You deserve some damn happiness, so grab it!"

Jade looked straight at Jenna for a second, then nodded. "Fine. I'll talk to him in a few days when he gets back. I have to go back up to MSU tomorrow anyway."

"I hope you God damn tell your husband," Jenna snarled. You don't, I will!"

"I may tell him someone is interested," Jade admitted. "But not yet. Nothing's happened yet."

"That's why you should tell him now!" Jenna argued. "He can't be mad if he already knows if/when he escapes, which I hope is never! Seriously, tell him now J!"

Jade couldn't deny her sister had a valid point and was probably right. So tomorrow, she knew she had to do just that..

"Hey," Phil's voice said when she answered the phone to him later that night. "I'm about five hours away right now, but at least I get to stay in a hotel, all expenses paid!"

Jade smiled. She was surprised even to herself how much she missed him. "How's it going?"

Phil chuckled. "Ah you know, drop the passengers off, then I've got the rest of the day to myself. Just looked around, I also get my food on the company. It's a really pretty area up here."

Jade took a deep breath. She felt physically sick at the thought of telling him now. Should she? No. She decided. It would be face to face or no way at all. Something like this was way too big to be said by telephone.

"Phil," she said softly. "When you get back, please can I talk to you? Face to face I mean?"

"Well duh," Jade could hear he was smiling. Her heart gave a funny little flip. Butterflies? She quickly tried to crush them. Slow down! She shouted at herself. This is a really fucked up situation you're in, after which he might walk away! A friendship on hold for six years doesn't mean he'll stay once he knows.

Phil continued. "I'm back in three days. We'll catch up then. I'll text you and we could talk that night?"

"Great," Jade said quietly. She would've seen Michael for this month then, which would give her the time and space she needed. "I… I look forward to it."

"Me too," Phil said quietly.

They talked for a little longer before hanging up. Jade took an early night. She was driving up to MSU with Loomis early the next morning and for the first time, was not sure how she felt about it. Her life may be about to change in so many ways. Everything that'd happened last time she'd seen her husband wouldn't leave her mind either.

…

"You still look tired," Loomis stated when he picked Jade up at nine the next morning for the three hour drive. She gave him a small smile. "I am."

Loomis didn't speak further and Jade was grateful. She rested her head against the passenger window and within minutes she was asleep. When she woke up, Loomis told her they were half an hour away. She pulled out her phone and saw she had a text from Phil. I can't wait to see you day after tomorrow, I miss you. I look forward to our chat. XX.

Phil putting kisses on her texts wasn't new, but Jade felt a half flutter, half rush of dread fill her stomach. This certainly sounded like, to her at least that he was interested in pursuing a relationship. Jade had meant what she'd said to Michael. She may date another. But now it was possibly happening, she wasn't sure how she felt, or what she thought about it. Unable to help herself, she turned to the doctor in the seat next to her.

"Dr Loomis, can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

"I…" Jade swallowed. "I need to tell you something. I…" She took a deep breath. "I might have met another man."

There was a pause before Loomis softly spoke. I see."

"Yes," Jade continued. "In that way. It's a long story, we were friends at school and he's just come back to Haddonfield. I want to see where it goes, my husband doesn't love me and the other way round. Michael even said I could date another for all he cared, but now it might be happening, I'm not sure what I think or feel about it." She took a second to gather her thoughts and then continued. Loomis waited patiently. "I mean, even when I was a child I told myself I'd never date when married, it's… Not right. But in these circumstances…"

"They certainly are what one might call exceptional," Loomis agreed.

"Exactly. Dr Loomis, please can I ask what you think?"

The Psychiatrist pulled over in to a services and looked straight at her. "Jade, this is your business. You need to do what is best for you."

"Please," Jade pleaded, lightly touching his arm. "Please, this is important to me."

"What I think?"

"Yes. You're my husband's doctor. Former or otherwise you still are. Please, I need your advice."

There was a moment's silence before Loomis spoke. "Jade, you didn't want to marry Michael, you had to. I think as long as you stick to his once a month demand, it'll be ok. He even said you could date another didn't he? As for your moral standing on it, it's not like you can help it, is it? You're not willingly married to Michael and dating another man."

"But… It's… What happened last time. For some reason it won't leave my mind. I keep trying to tell myself it's stupid, it means nothing. I'm hardly going to fall in love with my husband because he held my hand through a slit am I? But after I spoke to you… Fuck! I'm so… My feelings are all over the place."

Now Loomis gently took her hand. "Jade. If that is the case, my advice to you right now is don't do anything. Wait, give it time."

"The other thing is, Michael told me that once he escapes I'll have to go back to him every night just as before. I told him I couldn't do that, no relationship I was in would work that way and he wrote that's not my concern."

"Hmm." Loomis looked thoughtful. "But while not exactly… Ideal, he won't be escaping from here any time soon, Jade. It's impossible without outside help."

"That's what they said about Smith's Grove," Jade said very quietly.

"But that was during a transfer, Jade. Which is not going to happen from here."

"That's what Jenna said," Jade muttered.

"That's because it's true." Loomis released her hand and pulled back in to the traffic.

"I almost called him," Jade said. "Michael. A few days ago. I'm not sure why."

"I really would give it time then," Loomis said. "If you're so confused."

"I don't love Michael Myers damn it!" Jade raised her voice a little, looking at the doctor. "I never will and he'll never love me! I want this, I've liked this man since we were fourteen years old!"

"Then that is your choice," Loomis said simply. Jade flinched. She knew he'd noticed her defensive manner and even she wasn't sure why she had been. "I am however going to take an educated guess that the reason you're so tense is because you intend to tell Michael today?"

Jade nodded. "Although I don't know why, it's not like he cares or it's his business, my husband or not. We haven't even talked about it yet, this man and I. But it's… It's in the air, I can feel it."

"Love is in the air indeed," Loomis said and Jade couldn't help a small smile, catching the song reference.

…

What is it? You are tense.

Jade was once again sitting alone with her husband looking at her from behind the floor to ceiling glass. Jade swallowed. Jesus he could be scary sometimes. How did he do that? Could he tell by her body language?

Roderigo is in solitary.

"I…" Jade felt a little sick. She swallowed again and sipped from the plastic cup of water beside her. "It's not that. I need to tell you something." She took a deep breath. "Michael, I might have met another man. Nothing's officially happened yet, but I've known him since we were fourteen and he came back to Haddonfield last month. We've been talking a lot and well… I won't lie I had a crush on him at school and well… We've been talking almost daily and…" She trailed off. There. She'd done it. "I wanted you to know, even though you don't care. I will still come back here once a month though, I won't risk mine or my families lives. But well, I just wanted you to know. That's why I came up here today." There was no response for a moment.

As you wish. But remember, here once a month to keep you and your family alive. Otherwise your life is yours.

Oh no it isn't, Jade thought. It's not like I could ever marry Phil is it? You've taken that away from me to.

"Please," she said quietly, her mouth suddenly dry. "Please will you let us divorce if/when we can? I want my whole life back, Michael. I obviously can't be married twice."

We'll see.

Jade glared at him for a second. Was he still going to keep her as his wife? She opened her mouth, then closed it again. She knew there was no point, plus it was too dangerous to argue with Michael Myers. But a second later she couldn't help herself.

"Why not? Why do you care? I'll still come to you whether we're married or not. I don't want my family to die either Michael. I just asked to be freed in that way. Can't you at least try to understand that from my perspective?"

Of course he can't, scoffed her heart. He's Michael fucking Myers! He has no feelings for anyone. Without writing further, her husband turned away and Jade understood. Already after only ten minutes, she'd been dismissed.

…

"Have you considered," Loomis said as they started the long drive back and Jade had told him what'd happened. Loomis had seen Michael before Jade had. "That he might actually be angry, maybe even…"

"Don't say it!" Jade gave a whoop of laughter. "Please! Upset because I might be with someone else? Come on! He doesn't care! I'll stick to his deadlines, that's all that matters to him.! He just reminded me as much!"

"Perhaps," Loomis said softly, then no more on the subject all the drive back.

…

Jade's diary: August twelfth.

Ah, sleep. That illusive bed companion. Well tonight he certainly is. I feel like my brain is going round and round at a hundred miles an hour and I can't find the off button. I can't help thinking that whatever happened between my husband and I on July twenty-fifth the day Blood Sucker escaped his guards, has just been shattered by what I told him today. It's a stupid notion and I know that but… You may be wondering, (hell who am I kidding? It's my diary no one's going to read this anyway!) Why this is so important to me. I didn't choose to marry Michael. The thing is, I don't know. But I felt his mood change as soon as I said I might've met another man. It was nothing he wrote or did, but I felt it.

Perhaps Dr Loomis is right and I should give it time. What the fuck am I feeling for Michael anyway? Respect because he saved me from Blood Sucker? Yes maybe, but why the hell would that become anything more? If not, why can't I stop thinking about it? He held my hand and told me to drink some tea with a calming drug in it, told me to call when I get home. That's it, the end. So why do I feel like this? Confused, unsure? There is no way I'll ever love Michael, so why does this matter to me so much?

Or maybe it's my ex. All the shit he put me though is making me think. Ha, whatever Jade. Not likely. He's dead and you know damn well who killed him as he would've killed you too. It's because you know and you wanted to thank him you're in the situation you're in now. Jesus. What a mess. I've agreed with Loomis I'll go up with him on September first, do it early next month. Work is going crazy. I was certainly right when I thought something just as big would be plonked on our desks before long. A huge wedding with a five hundred person guest list. Thank God we're only in charge of the seating plans and table decorations. Otherwise we'd never get it done in time. Candice is already stressing that we won't. That woman needs a break. Can't say how many times I've told her that. She just needs to listen.

Speaking of listening, maybe I need to do the same. To Dr Loomis that is. Phil moved away six years ago, who's to say he's still the same man? I've only known him again for two weeks. I should slow down and I know it. Yet… Maybe Michael's trying to steal every good thing in my life so I end up begging him to kill me after all. Maybe that's what he really wants. Meaning life's too short and I should damn well just do it!

I've decided I'm going to tell Phil the truth night after tomorrow, I have to. If we're going to stand a chance, he needs to know everything, right from the beginning. God knows how he's going to react when he does though. I hope he'll want to stay my friend at least. Damn. Why did I go to Smith's Grove that day? What on earth made me think it was a good idea? Why the hell has Michael taken me prisoner as a result and is now my husband?

Shit. I need to stop asking myself this stuff. If I don't, I won't get any sleep tonight and I'm in charge of finding five hundred solid gold napkin rings. I shudder to think of the bill. Thank Christ I'm not paying it. So a nice cup of sleepy tea, then bed for me I think. I'll put some music on or something. A tip my therapist suggested for years. Never tried it thus far, let's see if it works.