Never before had Steve experienced such rage in his life.
He staggered all the way home that night, his mind a cacophonic mess replaying images of what Billy had done to him. When he finally reached his front doorstep he stopped and let his body fall against the polished wood.
"Fucking asshole," he muttered between bloodied teeth then punched the door once, twice, three times before the neighbor's upstairs light flickered on. Steve forced himself to stuff his raw knuckles in his pockets and clench out a smile as a woman in pink rollers peered out of the window.
"Steve, is that you?"
"Just me, Ms. Zamora."
"Aren't you supposed to be at the dance?"
"Just...just left something at the house."
She nodded. As soon as she drew her blinds, he punched the door again and glanced tepidly her way. There was a ringing in his ears that just wouldn't go away. He had left his car, his jacket, his house keys, everything on the road where he had met up with Billy. He inhaled loudly and wrung his hair through his fingers. He wanted to cry but he had to think. There had to be somewhere - better yet, someone that he could go to to help him dial down his feelings. At least for a while. But who? It was then that he realized just how lonely the life of a young werewolf really was and this panicked him. Billy had been his only way out.
Fucking Billy…
A police patrol cruised by, its blue and red lights flashing decoratively. Steve watched it turn a corner down the road and knew what he had to do.
X
The station was still open when he arrived. He pushed the door open and his heart gave a start when he spotted the curly haired person reclining on the lobby couch.
"Billy?"
The person turned around and Steve recognized Miranda, a prostitute from That Side of Hawkins. She snapped her gum loudly and bared her crooked teeth.
"If that's who you want me to be," she hissed. The metal of her handcuffs jangled as she dragged her finger along the length of her thigh. "So pretty…look at that hair."
"Leave him alone, Miranda. You lookin' for Billy?"
Steve could not have been happier to see Officer Powell in that moment. He stumbled to the front booth and braced his hands against the desk.
"N-no, I'm looking for Hopper. Is he here?
"Kid, what happened to your face?"
" Damn it, I just… " he sighed and forced himself to look away from Powell's intimidating mustache. "I really need to speak to him, okay... please ?"
Powell regarded him for a moment in bewilderment and then gestured at the open space behind him. "You know the way. You might wanna knock first."
Steve nodded his thanks and swung around the desk. "Did you see his face," he heard Miranda say as he walked down the hall towards Hopper's closed door. "I always knew the boy liked it rough ."
Without knocking, he pushed the door open and ran chest first into the town's librarian. They both paused and regarded each other in surprise.
"Steve!" She cleared her throat, glanced behind her at a slack-jawed Hopper, and then hurriedly fixed her skirt. "Well," she said, finally spying the bruises on his face, "I'll let you two get to it then!"
Hopper couldn't wait for her to close the door.
"What the hell, Harrington?"
"The librarian?" For the briefest of moments, Steve's anger disappeared as he took in Hopper's embarrassed face with amusement. "Isn't that a little, I don't know, cliche?"
"Isn't that word a little too, I don't know, advanced for you?" Hopper spread his giant hands out along his desk and fixed Steve with a pointedly confused stare. "Steve...what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the-"
"Dance, I know, where else would King Steve be if not at the dance?" Steve picked up Jim's coffee mug and pressed the cold porcelain against his swollen eye.
"What happened to your face? Should I even ask what happened to the other guy? Steve," Jim said louder when he saw that Steve had no intention of speaking freely. " What. Happened? "
Steve let himself fall into the seat before Hopper's desk. He wanted to cry. The tears were building up again, but he'd be damned if he spent anymore time boo-hoo ing over Billy. Not anymore. He was ready to do something and the desire for retaliation was already beginning to throb deep within him.
He moved the cup away from his eye and pressed it against his cheek. "I fucked up, Hop. Big time."
" Mmmm - hmmm . Go on."
He could hear Hopper lighting then taking a drag of a cigarette. The sound of it reminded him of Billy. He wondered where he was then and who he was with. Was he furious or defeated? Was he even alive after driving so recklessly in the rain?
"You know what, never mind. I should go."
"Steve, wait a minute, sit down."
Steve was crying again. He clenched his fingers in his hair allowed Jim to guide him back into the chair.
"I just…I fucked up, okay? I…have you ever met somebody that you were head over heels for and they turned out to be different than you expected?"
"Can't say I have." Hopper said. It was a lie. And they both knew it.
"I just put my trust in somebody and they broke my heart. You know, they were sick and hurting and they used me. They really messed me up, Hopper, and now I don't know what the hell to do."
"Did you hurt this person?"
"What? No. I mean I...it was in self-defense. God, it just happened so fast. I gotta go, I gotta think this one out-"
"Alright. Alright, Steve, hey, listen to me." Hopper closed his eyes and raised his palm between then, signaling for Steve to just be still for a moment. His eyebrows were knit in concentration because he didn't know what to do yet. Never before had he seen Steve so brutally and honestly upset. And never before had the Hawkins king come to him with his feelings written so plainly across his face. Steve had always been a race car fueled by tempestuous ego and gaiety, but never sadness. Hopper exhaled heavily through his nose.
"Alright, I lied. I used to know someone like that, long ago. She was a wolf who ran with my people when I was just about your age."
"And? What happened?"
"What happened was she was angry at the world, what it had done to her. And her anger caused her to last out and hurt a lot of people, Steve. I was one of them."
"So what did you do?"
"I…" Hopper sighed and looked away. He didn't like this. These were waters that he could not stand to tread with others, especially not Steve. "I let what had to happen, happen. I put her away so that no one else would get hurt. And then you know what I did?" He leaned in close, close enough for Steve to see the tiny hairs creased between his brow. "I forgot about it, I let it go, kid."
Steve nodded and sniffed. "Yeah, alright." He said and wiped away a line of snot with the back of his hand. "Can I go now?"
"Yeah. Yeah. You can go. But I want you to be careful. I don't know how many times I have to tell you-"
"I know. Don't be stupid. Don't do anything crazy. I got it."
"Steve?"
"What?"
"Full moon's tomorrow."
"How can I forget?" Steve mumbled, his hand already on the door.
"Where you gonna be?"
"Same place."
"Okay."
"...okay. See you later, Jim."
For the longest time, Jim simply sat, staring at the empty space where Steve had just been. He thought about Danny and it occurred to him that maybe Steve could have taken his advice the wrong way.
X
The next night...
Steve flexed his fingers on his steering wheel as he rode along the moonlit road. For once, his stereo was off and the only sound that he heard was that of the wind whistling through the crack in his window. The euphorila didn't feel good this time. In fact, he wasn't sure if he was even experiencing euphorila at all. His skin tingled and twitched. His head throbbed. It was as if he were fiending for a drug with minimal promise. He didn't want to turn but he didn't have a choice in the matter. Suddenly he lashed out and hit the steering wheel with his fist. He hated himself and he hated Billy for making him feel like another weak link in the chain. How many had there been before him, he wondered, and how many would there be after? Poor, pathetic souls drawn to Billy's light, only to die out in his swelter.
He was stupid to fall for Hargrove. But he'd also be stupid to not do something.
He thought about Hop: Hop with his angry eyes and meat slabs for fists. I let what had to happen, happen. I put her away, Steve.
It occurred to him that he should have asked how, exactly, Hop had 'put her away' and why he looked so uncomfortable when he said it. Could Chief Hopper have killed somebody? No, but there were many ways to destroy a person.
Could he destroy Billy?
An image of Billy's slit throat and panicked eyes crossed his mind and he swerved his car off of the road. He didn't know exactly where he was but he was far enough out. He couldn't bare sitting with the silence anymore so he threw himself out of the car and tossed his keys through the window.
"Alright, come on big boy." He said, wiggling his fingers as he sloshed through the damp leaves. The wolf within awakened and yawned hungrily but he held it down. Up ahead he could just barely make out the four wooden walls of an old cabin that he used to explore when he was younger. Perfect , he thought, I'll just camp out there. His plan was to barricade himself within the cabin and let the wolf ride out the night in shelter. He began to unbutton his shirt as he walked. His breath grew ragged and animal-like in his arousal and he fought to stay upright as his limbs tightened.
And then, when he was only a few feet away from the door, he saw him.
For a moment, Billy looked nervous to see him there. Then he pinched his cigarette out and looked Steve up and down with appreciation.
"Get away from me, Hargrove." Steve shrug his shirt from his shoulders and threw it to the side. Next, his fingers found his belt and he began to undo the clasp.
"You know, I've been thinking-"
" I said cut the crap and get away from me! "
"I love you," Billy grabbed his arms and pulled him close to his body. He was breathing heavily, wildly. His eyes were alight with hatred and lust. "I love you to god damn pieces, Harrington."
Steve's pants slid lower on his hips, exposing the tented grey fabric of his briefs. He shoved Billy away but Billy grabbed him again and held him so tightly that the smell of his breath made Steve gag.
"Remember when I said you were beautiful?" Billy hissed. "Most beautiful god damn thing in the world."
He kissed him but it wasn't a kiss. It was a gnashing of teeth and catching of breath that hurt Steve to his very core. He jerked his head back with a gasp as the canines began to descend from his gums, forcing drops of blood to splash between them.
"You know what you want to do."
Billy was pawing and grasping at Steve's erect cock. There was nothing that Steve wanted more than to submit to pre-transformation lust. He needed it, he needed Billy, he needed nothing else. He'd give the world just to cum with him again.
They struggled against each other for a moment before falling to the ground, Billy landing on top of him. Steve wriggled himself out of his pants and his cock, already wet and throbbing, popped out between them. Billy didn't hesitate. In a second he was out of his own pants. He smiled, shirt tucked behind his neck, and let Steve enter from beneath him. Steve wanted to give up and close his eyes but he didn't want to miss the sight of Billy: Billy's white teeth flashing as he ground them together, his hair falling along his shoulders as he bounced on top of him, sweat pooling along his upper lip, his reddening cheeks. Billy, Billy, Billy. Steve huffed in time with Billy's movements and ground his nails into Billy's soft hips, nails that had grown long and curved. He willed himself to stay human longer, just a little longer, until Billy hooked his fingers in Steve's hair and forced him to watch him cum. He then tossed his head back and let Steve aim for his chest, his broad chest glistening and illuminated by the moonlight and Steve's cum.
"I told you I love you, pretty boy."
Billy
Billy looked back down and his heart gave a jolt when he saw the way that Steve was staring at him. Hatred was written across every inch of Steve's face. And in that moment he saw himself: he saw the way that he must have looked when Neil cursed him out, he saw the look that he had given his mother as she had walked out, he saw the look that he gave coaches and teachers when they called him a 'problem,' a 'bad kid,' a 'bully.' It was the hatred of being helpless and Billy realized that, in some way, that's how he had made Steve feel.
He lifted himself off of Steve and dragged himself away slowly, his elbows inching through the mud. Steve began to convulse but his eyes remained fixed on Billy. And this scared him more than anything else.
"So I get it." Steve growled and spit at him. "That's what you do to the things you love, huh, you just break them?"
"Ease up, Harrington…"
"You know, funny thing is, Hargrove, I can break things, too."
Steve's face seemed to be engulfed by an explosion of fur and then he opened his yellow eyes. The Brown Wolf stood before him, shaking the wetness from its fur. Billy fell backwards and opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out. He was no match, for already he knew that this would not be a night where he would turn. He clasped his hands and held them out to the wolf, his face twisted in fear.
"Please…"
The Brown Wolf licked its snout and growled, softly.
"Please...don't do this. Steve. When I said I loved you, I mean it. I wasn't just trying to get you to bite me. I really, really, really-"
The wolf sprang forward and caught Billy's leg in its jaw. Billy cried out in horror and rolled his eyes towards the moon. A loud ringing filled his ears and drowned out everything: the sound of his voice, the gnashing of the wolf, the skittering of leaves. Still screaming, he pushed himself back and away from the wolf. But the creature's body was heavier than he could have ever expected.
" No, no, NO, please!" He cried as he grabbed the wolf by the ears and attempted to pull the head away. But the wolf's jaws had locked and its nose was crinkled in its determination to kill. The wolf momentarily let go and then bit down harder and higher on his leg, and Billy spasmed wildly against the pain.
"Mommy, mommy, mom, please help me," he cried deliriously. And then there was a loud pop and the ringing returned, louder this time. The pressure on his leg lifted and, without quite knowing why, he covered his ears and pressed his face into the ground. A white light pulsed across his vision and he could just faintly make out the sound of a voice, muffled and alarmed.
He looked up into the bright light of the sun - was it the sun or the moon? - and could just barely make out a silhouette.
"Mom?" He mouthed tonelessly.
The figure looked away and then back at him. They were saying something. He desperately searched their face for that familiar old smile and for a second he really thought that he could see her. But it wasn't her. The figure leaned in closer and eyes came sharply into focus.
"Chief Hopper?" He said and then a wave of pain rolled over him and he blacked out.