"Where to?" the cab driver asked as Saff and Jack piled into the back seat.
"Um… Columbia University, please," Saffron told the man. "And thank you for stopping. I didn't think it was possible to get cabs in New York so quickly."
"Usually, it's not," the driver said. "I remembered you from the other day. The airport."
"Huh?" Jack asked, scratching his chin. He desperately needed a shave.
"The airport. I picked you up then, too." The cabbie flashed the pair a wide grin in the rearview mirror. "Oh, that was the most fun time I've had driving this taxi. What an adventure!"
Saffron and Jack looked at one another, then forward towards the driver.
"Adventure?" Saff asked. Offering the man her kindest smile, she continued, "I was so tired from the flight that I can't recall the ride. Fill me in on it?"
"Tired?" Jack scoffed. "You were passed-out…"
"Shut up!" Saff hissed under her breath. Then, to the cab driver, she cooed sweetly, "Tell us all about our adventure, will you? Please?" She shot Jack a look that promised instant death if he butted in again. Rolling his eyes, he studied the passing city blocks through the cab's window.
The cabbie laughed.
"Well," he began, "you were both in quite a hurry. I was going as fast as I could - driving safely, of course…"
"Of course," Saff agreed, smacking Jack's hand down when he started making a "Pinocchio" nose gesture with his right hand.
"... and then your boyfriend demanded I stop in Chinatown. Something about needing the proper lighting." Glancing in the mirror at Jack, the man said, "You sure were going crazy to find a lamp or something. When you came out of that little store, you seemed happy enough."
"He's not my boyfriend," Saffron corrected. Jack smirked at her.
"What little store?" Jack asked. "Can you take us there?"
"Are you in a hurry now?" the driver asked the pair.
Simultaneously, Saffron said "Yes" and Jack said "No." The man apparently opted for the latter response because he suddenly whipped the cab eastward, zipping down 34th Street. A gaggle of pedestrians scattered as he roared through an intersection. Then he banked the cab sharply to the south, taking the corner to 3rd Avenue on two wheels. Saffron gasped.
"Where are you going?" she demanded.
"To the store," the man said innocently. "Your boyfriend asked."
"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Saffron snapped.
"You'll have to forgive my sweet angel here," Jack said smarmily. "We're trying to be discreet about our affair." Saff smacked him, hard, on the upper arm. Jack winced.
"Ah, young love," the cabbie sighed.
"For the last time," Saffron said through gritted teeth, "this… hyena and I are not together! Not now, not ever!"
"But we are together, Sweetness," Jack countered in a smart tone that grated on Saffron's nerves. "I'm here. You're here. That's together." He snickered at his little joke, infuriating his backseat partner.
Saff, having heard enough, grabbed the front of Jack's shirt, gripping his chest hair like a vise in her small fist.
"Ow! OWWW!" Jack moaned. "LET GO!"
"But darling," Saff hissed, too softly for the driver to hear, "you wanted us to be closer." Tightening her grip and twisting it at the same time, she added, "One more word and I'll have you singing soprano - if you know what I mean." Letting her eyes quickly flash down towards Jack's groin, Saff glared at him before releasing his shirt (and chest hair) with a hard push away.
"Here we are," the cab driver said, coming to a screeching halt outside a small, nondescript Chinatown store.
Jack rubbed at his chest, studying the little brick facade. Saffron rolled down her window and peered up at the store's sign.
"East Wind Sundries," she read, squinting against the bright noonday sun. "I don't remember this at all."
"You wouldn't," Jack told her. "You were… 'sleeping.' Hey, um… uh…"
"Akeem," the driver said.
"Akeem," Jack repeated. "Can you hang tight here for a couple minutes? I want to check this place out."
Akeem started to answer, but Saffron interrupted angrily.
"NO!" she snapped. "I'm supposed to be at Columbia now! We're late as it is! Akeem, let's go."
"Seriously?" Jack asked her. "You don't want to find out what happened the other day when neither of us could remember a damn thing? He knows what went on." Jack nodded towards Akeem, who shrugged sheepishly.
Saff, totally frustrated at this point, folded her arms and glared down at the cab's floor. She wanted to get to Columbia, if only to avoid spending more time with Jack, but she also secretly had an itch to learn about her (so far) misguided adventures in New York - which she wouldn't be able to recall on her own.
"Right," she barked. "Akeem, wait here. We'll be back in a bit." With that, she pushed the cab door open and practically leapt out onto the sidewalk, stalking into the East Wind Sundries shop.
"Bossy, isn't she?" Akeem asked Jack, grinning as he watched Saffy exit his cab in a huff.
"That's one adjective for it," Jack sighed, sliding across the seat to follow her into the store.