Not long after Jack and Rose retreat to their room, Julie, Caroline, and Danny find themselves in the kitchen doing what needs to be done for the day while listening to the voices of the arguing couple which rise from their bedroom.
They had found a note from Amanda, informing them where she and Alex went, and now Julie stands at the sink, washing dishes, while Caroline dusts the dining room and Danny flips through mail.
It's not long before Julie sighs, "What do you think they're arguing over, and when do you think they will get their arses out here to help with chores?"
Danny snorts, "Language, Julie. You're lucky you weren't born in high society, you wouldn't have lasted a year in finishing school."
Julie laughs, "Who are you kidding, I wouldn't have lasted a week! But that's besides the point, someone answered my question."
Caroline looks up from her work, "Oh Julie, that's not how things work. You can't know how long a disagreement shall last. It will end when it ends. But, if they're anything like your father and I were, they'll be inseparable by tonight, so long as neither say something they'll deeply regret."
"Well, let's hope they don't, I've got loads to do today and I expect Jack to take his normal workload back now that he's returned."
Danny sighs with a chuckle, "You're a piece of work, Julie."
It's not much later that the voices from the bedroom stop suddenly. After ignoring it for a moment, Julie speaks up, "Am I the only one noticing the quiet in here?"
Caroline sighs, "This can't be good."
Danny looks up, "Well, come on, it's Jack and Rose, you've seen how in love they are, it can't possibly be that-"
Jack's voice rises from the hallway, cutting him off, "Ma! Please, Ma! Come quickly, please!"
Ma's head snaps up in alarm, and she makes eye contact with Julie. They both know from the sound of Jack's voice that something is dreadfully wrong.
As quick as her feet can move, Caroline runs towards where Jack's voice had come from, with Julie close behind. Caroline gets to Jack just in time to see the couple sitting on the floor. Rose is in Jack's arms, looking down at her stockings, which are stained with blood, as a small scream of shock escapes her lips and she falls into a dead faint.
Caroline stops short at the sight, her mouth open in shock, making Julie just about slam into her, "Ma! Why'd you st-" Julie's sentence cuts off as she catches sight of Rose and her eyes widen, "What the hell happened?"
Jack looks up at them, his eyes wide with fear as he struggles for words, "I-I don't know! God, this is my fault isn't it?"
Without hesitating a second longer, Caroline kneels beside him, "What happened? Is she still bleeding?"
As Jack responds, she begins to check Rose's forehead for a temperature and see if she is still bleeding, "I-I don't really know. One minute she was fine and then...then I said the most fucked up thing I've ever said in my life and this happened. God, why did I say it..." Jack meets his mother's gaze, his eyes wide with fear and guilt, "Is this my fault, Ma?"
Caroline shakes her head, "Words can't harm someone like this. Jack, carry her to your bed. Julie, get me cold wet cloths for her forehead, she's got a fever, and something to stop the bleeding. If we don't stop the bleeding...never mind that, we'll stop it. Danny-" Caroline stops, realizing Danny isn't there, and she addresses Jack, "Take her to the bed, I'll send Danny for the doctor."
Jack nods hesitantly, looking down at Rose. God, she looks deathly pale, like a porcelain doll. It reminds him of...of...why can't he remember? It's as though he's seen her like this before...but he can't remember when. Still looking down at Rose's peaceful face, Jack slides one arm under her legs to lift her up. He stands and only lifts his eyes to meet Julie's for just a moment before walking past her and into his room to place Rose on the bed.
As soon as he places her down, Jack kneels beside her, taking her hand in his and pressing his lips against it, "I didn't mean it, Rose. I swear...Please just come back to me," He pauses, thinking for a moment, before he continues, "Is this how you felt when we were on the Carpathia? Is this how it felt when you didn't know if I'd wake up? My God...how did you handle it for almost three days?"
His own words bring a fuzzy memory back to his mind. There was time he had seen Rose like this, but in a dream:
Her eyes are closed and her beautiful dress is flowing in the wind. While her skin is pale, she is not frozen like the rest. She looks completely normal and, if it weren't for the ghostly paleness and how her chest did not rise and fall, you would not think her dead.
Jack has to suppress a sob from escaping his lips at the memory of seeing Rose dead. His hand involuntarily goes to her chest, making certain it's not like in the dream. Closing his eyes in relief, Jack mutters, "Thank God…" He opens his eyes to look at her, "Stay with me, Rose...please."
Out in the dining room, Danny is reading a letter from an old friend which he'd come across, when Caroline comes rushing in. He puts down the letter and looks at her, "So, what wa-" his sentence cuts off at the sight of his mother's hand covered in blood, "What the hell? Whose blood is that?"
"You've got to go for the doctor, Daniel. As fast as you can. It's Rose...I think she's mis-...well, nevermind that, I hope to God I'm wrong. You've got to send for the doctor. If her bleeding doesn't stop in time…"
She doesn't need to continue, Danny knows what will happen if it doesn't stop. Without waiting a moment, Danny heads to the door, calling behind him, "I'll be as fast as I can."
Caroline and Julie walk in to find Jack kneeling next to Rose, tears streaming down his face. The exchange a glance and Caroline goes to do what she can for Rose, while Julie kneels next to Jack, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Jack...it's gonna be best if you-"
Jack cuts her off harshly, "I'm not leaving her."
"When the doctor comes you'll have to."
"Well he's not here, is he? So I'm staying."
Julie opens her mouth to protest, but stops as she looks over at Caroline, who shakes her head, and winds up sighing in defeat, "Very well."
…
It doesn't take long for Danny to arrive with Doctor Jacobson and the midwife, but it feels like hours to the three conscious people in the house. Despite all their efforts, the bleeding hasn't stopped and Rose grows paler by the minute.
As the doctor and midwife walk in, Julie immediately walks to Jack's side but, before she can say anything, Rose's eyes suddenly open and the peaceful look that had been on her face vanishes as she squeezes her eyes shut in pain and grips Jack's hand tighter than anyone would've thought possible, "Jack!"
Jack immediately moves himself closer, "Shh, shh. I'm right, here Rose. I'm right here."
She opens her eyes to look at him, "It hurts! Everything hurts…"
He swallows, "I know...I know. We're doing everything we can. You're gonna be alright, I promise."
As Rose closes her eyes again, she whispers, "No...I'm not...the baby...it's not...I just know it."
Jack opens his mouth, unsure of what to say, when he blurts out, "Do you trust me?"
Rose stares at him before nodding slightly, "I trust you."
With another swallow, Jack whispers, "Everything's gonna be alright."
After a hesitation, Rose absently nods and Julie continues what she had gone to Jack to do, "Jack, we've gotta go."
Jack turns to Julie and motions towards Rose, "I can't leave her!"
"Do you want her to have a chance?!"
Jack looks back at Rose, "Of course...more than anything."
"Then you've gotta get out of Dr. Jacobson's way."
Jack doesn't move, but he allows Julie to pull him up from his knees and lead him from the room, his eyes never leaving Rose, followed by Caroline. The second the door clicks shut, Jack snaps out of the trance he had been in watching Rose and runs back to the door, slamming the side of his fist into it, forcing back tears and wanting more than anything to be in Rose's place, to take her pain away.
After a moment, Jack starts pacing while running his fingers through his hair, then biting his thumbnail, then rubbing his face, then just letting his forehead rest in his hand. This goes on for quite some time as Jack continues his pacing.
A few minutes pass with only the sound of two calm voices inside the room, the midwife and the doctor, and Jack's pacing feet against the wooden floors while he mutters incoherent things. Out of nowhere, a scream from Rose rises from the room, making Jack's legs give out beneath him. He lands on his knees with one hand on the ground and the other arm held by Julie, who had run over to him.
Julie puts her arm around Jack, letting him lean into her. She holds him tightly as she can while he closes his eyes and mutters, "Why does it have to be her...What am I gonna do if she doesn't make it? God help her, please...let her make it. Let the both of them make it alright."
Leaning down to his ear, Julie whispers, "She's gonna make it, don't you worry. She's strong, you've told us all about her fire, she'll be alright."
Jack takes a shaky breath before getting back to his feet. That's when he notices the utter silence from the room, "What's happened? Why isn't there any noise?"
Slowly, Jack walks up to the door and gently places his hand on it, using all of his willpower to keep from just barging into the room, to get to Rose.
After a moment, Jack goes back to his pacing until, after what feels like hours, the door opens and he whirls around to see Dr. Jacobson closing the door behind him. Immediately, Jack is in front of the doctor questioning him, "What was it? What's happened? Is Rose alright? Is she alive? What about our baby?"
The doctor swallows before answering, "Mrs. Dawson is alright-"
Without waiting to hear anymore Jack speaks as he goes to mode past the doctor, "Oh, thank God! Can I see her?"
The doctor places a hand on Jack's chest and moves him back to where he was. Their eyes meet, the doctors grim and Jack's confused, "Your wife is alright...your child...your child didn't make it."
Jack stares at the doctor. Barely comprehending as he whispers, "What?"
The doctor clears his throat, "Mrs. Dawson has suffered from a septic miscarriage. Most miscarriages are relatively painless and cause almost no harm to the mother, but a septic miscarriage is a bit different. She's developed an infection so there should be no intimacy for the next six weeks and I would say about a year before you want her to get pregnant again. You can expect her to be tired for the next few weeks and there may be some pain as the infection takes care of itself. Also-"
Jack cuts the doctor off, he'd barely heard a thing past the confirmation that Rose had miscarried, "Why...why did this happen? Does she know?"
"Yes, Mrs. Dawson was told, but it's not likely she'll remember. She didn't handle it very well, I'm sure you heard the scream, so we gave her a sedative. She should wake fairly soon. As for why…it could be a great many things. It could be that she was just too young and her body too weak. You had mentioned the extreme conditions… just how extreme were they really? Was there emotional trauma involved as well?"
Jack's face changes as he realizes what caused this...this was his fault, "The water...she was freezing all night...Yeah, yeah, there was emotional trauma...plenty. I-It still hurts her today to even think about it."
The doctor swallows, "Well then, I would say that, combined with her young age, could easily be the cause of this."
Jack leans his head back, "Shit! This is all my fault. She came back for me!" He runs his fingers through his hair, fighting back tears, "Why'd she do that...she should've stayed with Cal, gotten on the boat with her mother. She should've left me there, then she'd have this child!" Again, Jack starts pacing and rubbing his face, "I should be dead and our baby should be alive with her! God, why'd she come for me? And she shouldn't have jumped back for me either! Whether I would've made it or not, she'd still have this baby, which is worth so much more," Jack stops pacing and drops his head in his hands, "Shit…why…why?"
After a moment, Jack composes himself with a sigh and looks up for the doctor only to find everyone looking at him like he's gone mental. Jack shakes his head, not caring. He and Rose will have to tell them anyway, with Titanic being the reason their child didn't even make it into the world.
Jack opens his mouth to speak, but the door to the bedroom opening stops him. The midwife steps out with a large bundle of bedding in her arms. She whispers something to the doctor, who nods, before she turns to Caroline, "Mrs. Dawson, would it be of any harm to you if I disposed of these? They've been quite…stained and I don't believe you'll be having any need for them."
Caroline nods distractedly, still processing everything and trying to comprehend what her son had said. With a quick nod, the midwife makes her way to the door and leaves the house.
Jack then addresses the doctor, "Can I please see Rose?"
Dr. Jacobson nods, "She's sleeping now, but I don't expect it to be long before she wakes."
Jack nods and goes to open the door when the doctor places a hands on Jack's shoulder and looks at him with soft eyes, "I...I'm sorry for your loss, Jack."
After a hesitation Jack simply nods and goes through the door, closing it behind him. Rose lies on the bed, the sheets tucked neatly around her, with her arms resting on top of the sheets at her sides and her curls laid out neatly on the pillow.
Jack walks over to her and slowly kneels down beside the bed, his eyes never leaving her face. He gently lifts her hand from her side and takes it in both of his own, pressing it to his lips and closing his eyes, "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry."
He opens his eyes and looks at her peaceful face. A small smile rests on her lips and it breaks Jack's heart thinking of how, once she wakes, that smile will be gone for...for who knows how long. Jack gently presses her hand against his cheek and takes a shaky breath. He's surprised to find that her hand feels wet and he looks down to find drops of water fallen on her hand. He touches his cheek to find he had been crying and hadn't even noticed until now.
With a sigh Jack lets his head fall forward to rest on his hands, with her limp hand still held between his own. For just a moment, Jack lets the grief over his lost child sink in and engulf him as he lets his tears fall freely.
Jack closes his eyes, and lets an image fill his mind.
He sees a small newborn with brilliant blue eyes, his eyes, and soft blonde curls being placed into his arms for the first time. The little girl's soft wail fills his mind as she grabs his finger in her little fist, squeezing it with surprising strength. The baby has Rose's fire and pale complexion. In this image, he looks up to see Rose, looking beautiful despite her exhaustion, smiling at him. Just as she says, "Isn't she beautiful, Jack?"
He opens his eyes, not wanting to cause himself any more pain by fantasizing over what has already been lost.
After only another moment of letting himself grieve, Jack takes a deep breath and wipes his tears away, turning his attention fully to Rose. After having felt such a powerful wave of grief himself, he can only imagine how this will affect Rose. She has told him countless times how much this unborn baby meant to her and how it made up for the sinking, for the hell they went through that night. Jack swallows, feeling the guilt of this baby's death and the pain it's going to cause Rose weighing down on him like a ton of bricks. He whispers once more, "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry this happened. I'm sorry you had to come back for me…"
As Jack says this, he feels a slight squeeze from Rose's hand. He looks up to find Rose's eyes fluttering open as she comes back to her senses. She blinks a few times before saying, "Jack?"
Jack shifts slightly as her eyes fall on him, "Hey...I'm right here, Rose."
Rose looks at him, confused, "What happened? Why am I…" Her face drops as she remembers and her hand flies to her stomach, eyes wide with fear as she looks at him, "Jack! Jack...please….tell me...tell me the baby's alright."
Jack averts his eyes and swallows before he meets her eyes again, "Rose…"
Rose shakes her head, "No…No! Please, Jack...no!"
Jack's eyes flicker away for a moment before finding hers again, "It...It was the water, the cold, the trauma...it was just too much...I...I'm sorry."
Rose chokes back a sob, protectively wrapping her arms around her stomach, before letting out a scream, so full of anguish and despair that no one who heard it would ever forget the sound. Jack immediately wraps his arms around her, holding her as close as he possibly can.
Rose continues to sob into Jack's embrace while he does everything in his power to comfort her, "My baby! Our baby… How could this happen?! Why, Jack...why?!"
Jack swallows, "Shh...I don't know. I don't know."
"When will we have had enough?! All...All I want is to have a family with you!"
Jack squeezes his eyes shut, "I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry."
Rose just keeps crying into his arms, imagining what their child might have been like only to come back to reality sobbing harder. Eventually, her crying settles down a bit as she tries to focus on Jack's words while he tries to comfort her, but her mind gets pulled to an event from earlier which just about makes her stop crying altogether. She mumbles something into Jack's shirt which he can't hear, "Huh? What was that?"
Rose pulls back slightly and says in a barely audible whisper, "You were right."
Jack's brow furrows in confusion, "What do y-" Jack cuts off as he realizes what she means, "No. No, no, no. Look at me," Jack takes her chin and lifts it so she has to look him in the eye, "That is not true. It's not. I wasn't right, not at all. I didn't even mean that, I...I don't know how I could let myself say such a horrible thing. You would make a wonderful mother. I can't even put into words how amazing of a mother you would be. Don't you ever think otherwise, do you hear me?"
Rose gives a small, tearful, nod, but doesn't say a word. Jack sighs and pulls her back against his chest, "Come here."
Rose begins sobbing once more and this time Jack doesn't have it in him to comfort her. He's too lost in thought over everything that's happened. After some time, he notices that Rose's cries no longer fill the room and she lays still in his arms. Jack lifts her face ever so slightly to find that she has cried herself to sleep.
As gently as he can, Jack lays her back against the pillows and fixes the sheets around her. He brushes a loose curl out of her face before using his thumb to dry the tears which stain her cheeks. He lets his hand fall against her curls sprawled out on the pillow and he notices that they aren't the shade they were yesterday. It's as though the vibrancy of her hair has dimmed with that of her spirit, and it breaks his heart just a little bit more, if that were even possible.
With a sigh, Jack leans forward and places a kiss on her forehead, "I love you, my sweet Rose. We'll get through this. I promise."
A/N: Alright, alright. Now, before you get all mad at me, I just wanna say that the idea that Rose's baby wouldn't have survived to full term after all the trauma she went through came to me before I'd read any fanfiction, when this story was just an idea in my mind that I never thought I'd write down. It's just my opinion, but I'm open to persuasion about it.