Azriel POV

So, I may have this time with you

The words played over and over again in my head, sending chills down my spine each time. I stood in the exact spot she left me for what felt like hours.

But no matter how much time I spent out here among the forest, the hate still lingered.

I felt nothing for her except unrelenting hate. She played a crucial part in the scars left on Cassian and Rhysand. And Mor.

The nausea increased when I thought of how Mor had almost died and I didn't even know it. Not that she owed me an explanation of what had happened all those years ago. Or even now.

That didn't stop the gut wrenching feeling I always felt when I looked at Mor. I loved her, just as I loved the rest of my family.

I shook my head at the thought of the 500 years' worth of emotions I would have to sort through before I ever came to a conclusion of where Mor and I stood.

Family. That's what we all were. At the end of the day, there was still the fact that the males and females in my life were more of a family than I'd ever had.

And I'd tear apart the world to keep them safe. Even Amren.

Two distinct beats of a pair of wings caught my attention as Rhys and Cassian landed in front of me. Cassian's face was still set in the murderous rage it had been for a week now. Rhys, on the other hand, stood regally beside him with his arms at his side. Both were still donned in their Illyrian fighting gear just as I was.

I groaned internally, knowing we had gone too long without speaking about the current state of things.

Rhys glanced from me to Cassian and back again as he crossed in front of us and found a nearby tree stump to perch on.

"Az, we need to talk."

Cassian grunted as he crossed his arms over his chest and widened his feet. A fighting stance we knew all too well.

I stood quietly, waiting for Cass to say something, anything. They were pissed as hell at me and for good reason. I felt the cold breeze rustle the few remaining leaves in the trees. I listened for the shrill sounds of the birds and the quiet rustle of the other animals that skirted across the forest floor.

He kept his hardened gaze pinned on me for a moment longer then quietly said, "Why didn't you tell us?"

I closed my eyes at his voice. It was filled with hurt and anger and… loss.

I shook my head and crossed my own arms over my chest as I toed the leaves on the ground. Winter was upon us. The whole camp had been preparing for a nasty blizzard that was supposed to hit in a few days time. "We were in the middle of a War. Rhys had been captured, you were on the other side of Prythian. By the time we were reunited, I didn't have the strength to bring it up."

Cassian shook his head at me, "She's your mate, Az. Your mate."

It was my turn to shake my head, "I rejected the bond—"

"But why?" Rhys asked as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I know her as a traitor. She held you in that camp for months, Rhys. How are you so quick to forgive her?"

Rhys rubbed his hands together as he stared at the forest floor. "Az, she never partook in the torture I received while I was captured. I hadn't even laid eyes on the female until she appeared in my dungeons."

"Why didn't you tell us in the hundreds of years since?" Cassian asked. He kept his arms crossed over one another. His hair had grown in the months he had spent in the Illyrian camps with Nesta. He pulled it back with a small band, but a few strands escaped.

I shook my head again, "There was too much… We were all fighting battles on our own. Telling you, putting that kind of burden on anyone—"

"You have never and will never be a burden, Azriel." My High Lord spoke out. His voice was soothing yet cold at the same time. I nodded in his direction, not being able to voice my thoughts.

Cassian sighed and ran a hand down his face, "Why reject it? Why reject her?"

Most took one look at Cassian and saw only the warrior. What they didn't see was the undeniable intelligence. He was General of Rhys's armies for a reason. We had all fought and bled for our positions, but Cassian more than most. It made me proud to be his brother.

And that is why I chose to tell them. To finally tell them a secret I had kept for too long.

I shrugged my shoulders, "We first met on the battlefield, the day we set out to free Rhys. She intercepted our legion and told us to turn around or she'd take all of our wings back to Kardan. It didn't register for either of us until I had the killing blow."

The memory surfaced as if it played in front of me.

Her swords moved like the wind as she parried and swiped at my own blade. She stayed sneering through all of it, not even a bead of sweat glistened on her immaculate complexion.

I turned at the last second, going for her outstretched wing, but she moved faster than I expected. She ducked low and her foot connected with my ankles.

My back slammed into the mud a second later as she stood over me with a sword pointed at my stomach.

"I can't wait to see how you bleed, Illyrian."

I rolled right before her blade sunk into the squelching mud. My wings flared as I rolled to my feet. My shadows pushed against me, giving me a newfound strength. She eyed them with peaked interest then flipped her swords in her hands.

When she smiled at me, I noticed her canines glistened in the rain that pelted against us. Her stark white hair was plastered against the sides of her face. She had a small cut across her cheek, but it was the way she held one wing higher than the other.

Over the top of her shoulder, I saw the bandage wrapped around the base of her feathered wing.

With a cry of outrage, she charged me. She moved faster than I had ever seen a female move. She fought beautifully, using her swords so deftly that I paused a moment to admire her footwork.

She stepped slightly before lunging.

I danced around her, dodging every one of her attempts to disembowel me. She snarled through her clenched teeth as I circled her.

I had to get to Rhys.

Jurian said we would have a small window of time while he kept Amarantha engaged.

She lunged for my side just as I spun out of her reach, knocking one of her swords out of her hand.

We both watched as it flipped end over end and impaled into the mud beyond us.

I had my sword at her throat before she could move another inch.

"Well, that was anticlimactic."

I snarled at her and grabbed her other sword. I tossed it as far as her first, leaving her unarmed.

"I can't wait to see how you bleed, traitor." I spat at her. She deserved to die for turning her back on her own kind.

She sneered at me, "Make it memorable."

Slowly, she got on her knees, keeping eye contact with me the entire time. She straightened her shoulders, going as far as to stretch her neck out. My sword rested against the soft flesh near her collarbone.

I pulled my sword back, ready to watch her head roll from her shoulders.

She closed her eyes for a moment. But when she opened them, they went wide and her entire body went slack as she gazed at me.

There was something in her gaze that I couldn't comprehend.

And when my sword started for her head, it hit me. Harder than I'd ever been hit before.

The mating bond.

"Before I could decide what to do next, she disappeared into a cloud of smoke and shadow. I never saw her again until that night in the dungeons."

They both stayed quiet as I paced back and forth, letting the story hang over all of us.

"I hoped she was dead. And every day since, I regretted not being able to kill her. She was and still is a traitor. I kept telling myself that over and over again until the point that the bond was nonexistent for me."

Cassian was the first to speak, "And now? After learning the truth of everything?"

"What truth? She is still a traitor. Fae and mortal alike died because she chose the wrong side. And you'll never convince me otherwise."

Rhys stood and walked over to me, "And how do you feel about me?"

I balked at his question, "You are my High Lord. My brother." Rhys had given so much of himself. His own life had been forfeited in the last war.

Rhys shook his head, "Some would say that I still am a traitor for what I did under Amarantha's rule."

"They're wrong." I looked towards Cassian who nodded.

Rhys reached out and clapped me on the shoulder, "I think you should hear Asena out then. There may be more to her story than you think."

I took a step back, out of his reach. "I have no interest in hearing what she has to say."

Rhys glanced towards Cassian before going silent altogether. Then they nodded.

Cassian took a step towards me and said, "We will stand with you. Until we are but a story that is told among the living."

Rhys chuckled, "It'll be the best damn story there ever was."

A mischievous smile broke out on Cass's face as we stood together as family once more.