DECEMBER 11 WEDNESDAY

The magic jelly bean stalk was going to be huge. Remus pondered where to grow it while picking aphids off James's bonzai jinmenju at Herbology class.

(The aphids were his own fault, but never mind.)

Growing a giant jelly bean stalk in secrecy... Where could that be achieved?

Remus thought he knew where Fletcher got his giant gold coins. He went to talk to him, taking the bonzai jinmenju with him.

"Hello," he said and put down the little tree.

"Keep away from my bonzai jinmenju, I'm doing the pruning!" Fletcher retorted.

"I want to ask you about your giant coin."

"Oh, this one?"

Fletcher flashed his coin for a second. Then he closed his robes again.

"Who wants to know!"

"I do."

"How do I know you're not a poly-person? Everyone's an impersonator these days, can't trust anybody!"

"Impostor, I think you mean."

"That's just the sort of thing an impostor would say," said Fletcher, suspicious.

"Well then," said Remus. "If I was an impostor, would I say this? LOOBILOOBILOOBILOOBILOOB!"

Sprout put her curly grey head between theirs.

"Quiet!"

Remus picked aphids off James's tree, Fletcher put Christmas party hats on his.

"No," Fletcher replied, when Sprout was talking to Toady. "An impostor would say: Ask me something only I would know. So I guess you're not an impostor then, since nobody has ever said that before in an effort to convince me they're not an impostor."
No longer suspicious, a beam of childish delight broke through Fletcher's round face.

"I get my gold coins from the Giant Treasure Chest in the sky! You know, where there are giants!"

Then he turned pale, shivering at the thought of giants.

"Thankfully I've never seen any giant myself up there, but it's what they say."

"How do you get up there?" Remus asked, so casually.

"By climbing my giant jelly bean stalk!"

"I thought magic jelly beans were rare. Where did you get one?"

"We got them from mum, me, Trink and Fil. She in turn got got them way back when she was homeless. It started when she was kicked out of the soup kitchen one day. She was out of cash and desperate for fags, so desperate she was prepared to trade our cat Ritz for a packet. And would you believe it this mysterious crone appeared and traded the cat for one magic jelly bean!

So after that she began to collect stray cats to trade for beans, but eventually the mysterious crone saw through that and stopped trading with her. Anyway, she had so many beans by then she traded all except three for Ritz. She let us have her last three beans last Yule."

"And you waited until now to plant it?"

"I only just thought of where to plant it without it being found!"

"And where is that?"

Fletcher looked smug.

"Are you sure you don't want to have a go at it first?" he asked.

"What did you use? Invisibility runes?"

"Runes? That wouldn't give anyone a fighting chance!"

"You've made it invisible somehow..."

Now he laughed so hard he had to bend over.

"It's like you don't know me at all!" he said with tears in his eyes.

It was just a bit degrading, this. No, Remus did not want to 'have a go at it first'. He wanted Fletcher to just show him, and he agreed to do it.