The clock in the kitchen read half past five as Chris put the finishing touches to tidying up the shop and the office before leaving. He had closed up the shop at four, as per Richard's request, due to it being Christmas eve, and had spent the rest of his time finishing off a few things in the office. He pulled on his coat, having decided to call it a day and was wondering about waiting for Thomas to get back since he hadn't wished him merry Christmas and he wanted too before Christmas day. Funny thing being in love with someone that you can never have; makes you behave rather strangely. Chris was in two minds: he wanted to see Thomas but at the same time, he wanted to avoid him. There was a painful twitch in his leg, though this always happens so he ignored it and, under his breath, he told it to piss off. He picked up his bag and keys off the table and yawned as he switched off the light. However in doing so, there was a sudden pain that shot through his leg causing him to cry out and collapse on the floor. He held his breath against the pain, his back leaning up against a kitchen cupboard door. He waited for the pain to stop but it didn't. It was his own fault, he shouldn't have been sitting in the same position for a couple of hours in a cold room. Movement seemed to keep any pain at bay, but moving was the one thing he could not do right now. He only wished that he had been granted a small piece of good luck and that this happened before he switched off the light, as now he was left sitting on the floor in the dark. The dark itself didn't usually bother him when he was outside, but now all he could think about was how he had spent three years in a dark cell in York jail, and that, more than anything, more than even the excruciating pain in his leg, struck fear into him. He had no choice but to sit and wait for either the pain to go or for Thomas to get back so he could help him or get help. Though, either way, he knew he would be here for some time yet. So much for a happy Christmas, he thought.
...
"Mr Barrow, there is a woman on the phone who wants to speak to you," Miss Baxter said as Thomas looked up from his paper. He was just killing some time before he would have to get back home for the night. He hadn't been looking forward to spending another night alone, and was bitterly disappointed that he wouldn't get to wake up on Christmas morning to see Richard lying next to him. "She says her name is Miss Thornwood, but I don't recognise the name," she continued. Thomas thought for a moment, the name sounded familiar but couldn't place it. "Though she did say you'd know her as Izzie?"
"Oh yes of course, sorry. I only really call her by her first name sorry, she's a friend," Thomas said.
"Oh I remember now, I spoke to her on the phone once, sorry," Phyllis said.
"It was a while ago don't worry about it, did she say what she wanted?" Thomas asked as he got up to go to his office to answer the telephone.
"No, only that she needs to talk to you. She did sound a bit concerned," Phyllis answered.
"Right, well I shouldn't keep her waiting," Thomas said. "I'll say goodnight Miss Baxter, I'll head home after I've spoken to her."
"Yes. Goodnight Mr Barrow, and merry Christmas," she said.
...
Thomas picked up the receiver that had been left on his desk. "Hello Izzie," he said, with no need to bother with the usual formalities. "Sorry to keep you waiting."
"Hello Thomas, it's fine I'm just glad you are still here and haven't gone home yet," Izzie said. "Honestly, you need to tell Richard that he needs to get a telephone of his own."
"I agree, though that's not why you are calling is it?" Thomas asked.
"No course not. I was just a little concerned that's all. Richard probably forgot, he must be kept busy now. It's just that he said he would call me today, but I haven't heard from him. I was just wondering if everything was okay?" Izzie asked.
"I didn't know he planned too sorry," Thomas said.
"He mentioned it in the last letter I received from him. He is usually very organised so I didn't think he would forget, but I suppose he could have," Izzie added, trying to cover her worry in her voice.
"He's okay though Izzie, don't worry. It's not the best situation we're in but I spoke to him earlier this afternoon," Thomas said.
"Right. But what do you mean? What situation are you both in? Has someone threatened you both or something?" Izzie asked.
Thomas realised she wouldn't know about how their Christmas plans have been ruined due to the weather and that he wasn't being very reassuring. "Oh no it's nothing like that! We're fine, no danger. It's just that Richard is in York, that's why I said I only spoke to him and why I haven't actually seen him."
"Oh well that will explain why he hasn't called me. Knew there must be a logical explanation. He will tease me for my concern I know," Izzie said, Thomas instantly noticing her voice relaxing and sounding much more like the woman he knew.
"He will be glad for it," Thomas said.
"Why hasn't he come back for Christmas though? In his letter he sounded very excited about spending it with you," she asked. "You haven't fallen out have you?"
"No, we're good. Great in fact," Thomas said, smiling as he admitted that. "It's just some rather bad luck and poor timing. Richard went to York to do a bit of Christmas shopping, and to visit his parents yesterday morning. While he was there though, it snowed badly and so he hasn't been able to get back."
"Oh that is a shame. There is no snow down here in London though, so I didn't think about that. Is there any chance of him making it tomorrow?" Izzie asked.
"I guess. It hasn't snowed since last night, got to wait for the stuff to clear enough for the train to get through," Thomas said.
"Well I hope that it does. If I wasn't in the wrong city then I would fetch a shovel and clear a path myself!"
Thomas laughed, "I would imagine nothing less of you!"
"I'm glad to hear it Thomas. Now, you should be getting home. If Richard makes it back tomorrow, and I expect he will, then you will need to be awake. You will be no use to anyone half asleep," Izzie ordered.
"Right you are, well happy Christmas Izzie, and pass that on to Lucy as well," Thomas said.
"Thank you, and no need she's here so she heard ," Izzie said. "I should also say I sent you both a Christmas card. Though I reckon you may not get it until after Christmas if the weather has stopped everything."
"Oh that's nice of you. Shall I ask Richard to call you when he gets back here?" Thomas asked.
"Oh not immediately Thomas, I won't want to interrupt your time together, tell him to call me in a few days' time," Izzie said.
"Right, will do. Goodnight Izzie," Thomas said.
"Bye Thomas," Izzie said, ending the call.
...
Chris woke with a start upon hearing the sound of a key in a lock, and for a horrifying moment thought he was back in prison, though the sight of the kitchen table leg in front of him, reassured him enough that he was not. He must have fallen asleep or passed out, and how he realised how cold he was sitting on a stone floor for probably hours in the dark. And now Thomas was going to discover him like this. He wanted help but he hated feeling vulnerable.
Thomas let himself in through the door around the side of the shop, locking the door behind him before taking off his coat and hanging it up, where Richard's should have also been. It was dark as he hadn't put the light on yet. He had this odd feeling though that he wasn't alone. He stood still and held his breath, listening for any sound that might indicate that someone else was there. No one had broken in, he thought, unless they locked the door behind them, which was unlikely he reckoned. He told himself that he was being silly, but he couldn't shake the feeling. He pushed the half closed door between the hallway and the kitchen open with his foot and turned on the light. "Christ!" Thomas exclaimed as he jumped upon seeing Chris sitting on the floor of his kitchen.
Chris looked up at Thomas standing in the doorway, "Not quite I'm afraid Thomas. Believe he is supposed to show up on Easter Sunday not Christmas eve," Chris said, trying to sound humorous.
"What on earth are you doing sitting in the dark?" Thomas asked, is dignity recovered a bit he hoped. "Were you waiting for me?"
Chris pushed himself up on his hands to straighten himself up a bit. "Not intentionally, though I was left with no other choice. I don't want you to think that I am some sort of creep." Thomas looked at the man on his floor. He looked very uncomfortable, but he still hadn't tried to get up.
"Are you okay?" Thomas asked.
"Leg chose an inconvenient moment to completely cease up. I was about to leave you see, so I'd already switched off the light. Otherwise I wouldn't have been sitting waiting in the dark."
"You've been here for hours?" Thomas asked, concerned, filling his voice.
Chris should have been touched by his concern but sympathy was exactly what he didn't want as it made him feel weak and useless. "Yeah and I wasn't exactly living in great hope of you turning up. Thought maybe you would sleep at Downton tonight."
"I prefer my own bed Chris really," Thomas said. Despite the fact that it was missing one very important person, he added in his mind. "If I knew I would have come home sooner."
There it was again, that feeling of vulnerability that he hated. "I can manage on my own for a few hours Thomas," Chris said.
"Been a bit longer than that," Thomas said. "Four and a half hours to be exact." He could sense the defensive tone that was threatening to surface in Chris's voice.
"Yeah well I don't need or want your sympathy Thomas," Chris snapped, like an injured animal caught in a trap.
Thomas was taken aback, he'd never heard Chris shout. Even when he was angry or upset he always kept himself calm, but Thomas could relate to the feeling of not wanting help or sympathy, even when he needed it, and so he knew exactly what Chris needed him to say. "Fine! You are an idiot and a fool and it is your own fault for getting yourself into this stupid situation! It is quite frankly pathetic just to be lying there on the floor."
Chris just stared at him, shocked at what Thomas had just said as he was not expecting that. Thomas stared back wondering if he had gone too far with speaking what he thought Chris was probably thinking. But then something odd happened. Chris smiled and Thomas smiled back and they both chuckled in spite of the situation. "Well thank you for your honesty," Chris said.
"No problem," Thomas said curtly, but his lip twitched as he tried to suppress a smile. "But unless you want to become a permanent feature of mine and Richard's kitchen floor, then I suggest that we try and sort you out."
"Rather not call a doctor Thomas. Will only add to my humiliation," Chris said dryly.
"No need. I happen to have a bit of knowledge on the medical front, and I think I know how to fix things, at least enough to get you up from there," Thomas said.
"Hmm a medically trained butler. Rather diverse set of skills you have Thomas," Chris said.
"Well I was a medic in the army during the war, then worked in the hospital when I got injured and sent back, and then I ran Downton as a convalescent home for a bit," Thomas explained.
"You ran Downton?" Chris asked, surprised. "I bet the rest of them loved that."
"It was interesting I'll say that," Thomas said with a smirk. "Anyway, what you need is something to tell those muscles in your leg that they actually are meant to move and are not supposed to behave like statues. May I?" he asked, indicating he needed to feel where the pain was coming from.
"Be my guest," Chris said. Thomas knelt down on the floor next to him. "It's around the knee and a bit below that," Chris said, pointing towards his left knee, looking at Thomas's face close to his.. He tried not to let how good it felt to have Thomas touch him again show, as Thomas gently felt around the affected area through the fabric of his trousers, first at the back of his knee and then around the side and the front. However he was quickly distracted from his thoughts when Thomas touched the most painful area just below the knee cap. "Fuck!"
Thomas stopped immediately. "Sorry, but I think I am right. The muscles feel very stiff, they need warming up," Thomas said. Chris was worried that Thomas would suggest a massage, thinking that might be a bit too much for himself to handle. "I have this type of cushion upstairs. A nurse I worked with suggested it when she noticed my hand was hurting me. You warm it up for a few minutes and it works wonders trust me."
Chris felt relieved, "I'll try that, thank you."
"I'll be a few minutes okay?" Thomas said before quickly exiting the kitchen and going upstairs. Thomas switched on the light in the spare room and drew the curtains, just like he always did. He kept most of his things in with Richard, but some stuff that was not needed so often was kept in some draws in the other bedroom. After rummaging through a few draws, he finally found it in the bottom draw. He had two of these. It was an odd looking thing. It had a long rectangular shape and didn't have the softness of a normal cushion, but was a lot more flexible.
"Got it," Thomas said, coming into the kitchen again. "Instead of stuffing it has lots of small beans in it, coffee beans I think. But after it has been used several times, the smell of the coffee wears off. I have another upstairs that is made of ceramic beads and another with lavender," he explained, putting the oven on and placing it inside, leaving the door slightly open so that the cushion didn't get too warm, but also to warm up the room a bit.
"Never heard of one of those before," Chris said. He shivered as the warmth from the oven reached him. They waited a few minutes and Thomas made them both some tea. Thomas took the cushion out of the oven and tested it with the back of his hand to make sure that it wasn't too warm. Satisfied, he knelt down and handed it to Chris.
"Put it on the area that hurts the most first, then when it gets too warm, move it around to another spot," Thomas advised.
Chris placed the cushion on his knee. It took a bit of time for the warmth to reach him, but slowly he felt the pain ease a bit. He closed his eyes and sighed pleasantly. He looked up at Thomas who was sitting at the table. "It feels a lot better already," he said. "I don't know how I can thank you."
"Well getting off my floor will be a good start. You're making the place look scruffy," Thomas said poking fun at Chris's predicament.
Chris however, as Thomas expected, took the insult in good humour. "My apologies."
"Here," Thomas said, offering Chris his hand to pull him up. Chris took it and with a little wince he stood up and stretched.
"Well I'll never take being able to stand for granted again," Chris said, sitting down in the chair across the table from Thomas who pushed a cup of tea across towards him. "I'm sorry about all this Thomas, must have been the last thing you wanted to do."
"Look don't worry about it. All sorted now, and you can keep the cushion, use it again tonight before bed," Thomas said.
"Thanks," Chris said. "Not just for this but for turning up. I don't think I could take another moment of being trapped in the dark."
"Never took you as someone who is scared of the dark?"
"Not usually, but tonight stuck here alone, it took a lot of effort not to feel like I was back there again," Chris said, avoiding looking at Thomas's face.
Thomas knew that what Chris meant by 'there' was prison. "The mind can play tricks on us all."
"I can't ever go back. I'm scared that I'll do something to make me end up back there," Chris said quietly. But what really scares me is doing something to send you there.
"You're going nowhere near that place ever again. You're in a good place here, not a bad decision to come after me in the end really," Thomas said, hoping to reassure him. "You're safe here." Thomas almost reached across the table to take his hand but thought better of it as that wouldn't be fair on him.
I hope Richard knows how lucky is to have a man like you, Chris almost says, though instead he says "I should be getting home I suppose."
"Will you be okay to walk back? I could come with you if you need?" Thomas offered.
This time Chris didn't mind the sympathy. "No, I'll be okay I think. Everything feels a lot easier now and I think some movement will do me good. Besides, you need to sleep. I don't have to get up early tomorrow, you do."
"If you're sure?"
"I am."
"Well I'll see you tomorrow then?" Thomas said.
"Yeah. Christmas dinner at Downton Abbey, how could I forget?" Chris said. Before Chris went to leave he turned back to look at Thomas once more. "Richard will be here. I would lay a bet on it. He will move heaven and earth for you Thomas." Chris left straight after that, deciding not to hear Thomas's reply.