Chapter Ten: Much to their satisfaction
Fanny had always been prone to sentimentality and leery of change. So it had been an upsetting morning when she had been informed she would move to the family wing. While the white room and her attic had never been comfortable for her, they had been her home for a long time. Her Uncle had decided it was time for her to take over Maria's rooms. When she returned with her husband they would take up guest quarters. It was only one of the many changes to have taken place since Fanny had returned from Portsmouth. This was a good thing for her, she might be more comfortable and have a fire in her room. She would also be closer to Tom's rooms, should he need anything. She was currently with Tom, reading to him and contemplating the changes. Susan had been placed in the smaller family room near hers. With no school room or governess as an excuse or Mrs. Norris to insist.
Mrs. Norris had not taken the change in power or importance of herself very well. With Maria and Julia gone and barely willing to answer her letters, and Sir Thomas having less patience for her, she found her time better served sticking her nose in the affairs of those about the village. A young widow housed with her in laws near Mrs. Norris seemed to take her meddling with much grace. The woman had never really had a mother and now having lost her husband in the service was more tolerant of Mrs. Norris. Mr. Norris having been friends with her father-in-law as well. Being allowed to feel important again had softened many of her rougher edges. So had the blow of being cast aside by her nieces. Mansfield was much more peaceful with her as an occasional visitor.
Fanny was so thankful that Susan had come with her as well. She much wanted to take care of her Aunt, but Tom's need had been greater. Susan had settled in right away. Lacking the anxiety or fear of her own worth. Her boldness made her very much help to someone as mild mannered and indolent as her aunt. After only a few weeks Aunt Bertram already had her meeting with the housekeeper and learning responsibilities that would have been their Aunt's had she been more active. She had become a wonderful addition in having all of Mrs. Norris's activity and drive tempered with Fanny's sweetness and care.
The most important change was that Tom had now nearly recovered. She had been very afraid for him when she had first arrived home. Most of her time was spent with him in his sick room. Though evenings she still joined the family downstairs as being ill he retired early. Edmund spent much of his time with Tom as well but until Sir Thomas had returned, Edmund was needed elsewhere. The illness seemed to have taken Tom's youthful attitudes along with his strength. As his strength returned the youthful selfishness had not. The contrast of all of his good friends just abandoning him when he became ill, versus his family rushing to aid and comfort him, had been very showing. Yeats had been the only friend to even write to check on him, and considering he often asked of Julia, Tom was not very thankful for the letters. He often spoke with Fanny about it. She had tried not to lecture him as he was a grown man, but she often worked things into what she read to him or brought up things to help him with his new outlook on life. He also was for the first time really listening and seeing her.
"I do not think I ever did apologize to you for the play." Fanny looked up from the book she had been reading to Tom. He had selected Much Ado About Nothing and having her read lines must have brought it to his mind.
"It is of no matter." Fanny responded, returning to the book.
Tom was not yet ready to let it go. "It was. I always took your presence for granted. Another little sister, too young to pay attention to. But that was not how you were made to feel. The attic room, the different lessons, the delay in allowing you out, the way Mrs. Norris treated you. I mean you were not even allowed a horse of your own despite how much you need to ride. You were treated more like the governess than family. No wonder you were afraid to offend. We have done a horrible job at treating you as family but you must know that you are. My father cares for you just as my sisters. He did not push you toward Crawford because he wanted you gone, but because he thought it would make you happy. He wanted to see you raised to importance, to be cared for as you deserved. If you never marry you will always have a home here. When my father is gone you will have one with me. I want you to know your value and make choices based on that. We may not have shown it but EDMUND and I both consider you a dear sister." Tom ended by giving her hand a quick squeeze and telling her "I think I will nap for a while, I know you wanted a ride this afternoon. Why don't you go, clear your head."
Tears of both happiness and despair starting to form, Fanny was glad to have reason to excuse herself. She held her composure through dressing to ride and waiting for the groom to bring Edmund's mare around. Edmunds, not hers. Crawford had implied he brought a horse solely for her usage, but she had not had the time to see either Crawford sibling much during the day with Tom's care. The tears she had been holding finally came as she rode a little ahead of the servant with her. Tom's words had been so loving and so kind. If only they had come years earlier she would have flown from happiness at them. They were still a balm to the part of her heart that always felt unwanted and a burden. She also saw the warning in them. Tom had noticed how she felt about Edmund and wanted her to understand he saw her as a favorite little sister. Much as Tom did. Now that he had begun to express his feelings, his behavior was much the same as Edmunds. It hurt to realize that had he done so all along she might have believed herself in love with him. Or she hoped she would have been sensible enough to see it for what it was when two people showed her such care. She had been so starved for even the smallest kindness that she had believed herself in love with the first person to show it. If Edmund had been older would his behavior have been the same as Tom's. He had spent less time and concern for her as the years passed. If so Mr. Crawford would have been the first person to show her kindness and she would have fallen in love with him.
Thinking of this had her comparing the kindness of the two. Edmund had arranged for her to have a horse of his to use. The second it benefited him it was removed from her usage for Miss Crawford. Mr. Crawford had returned from Everingham with one specifically for her use, making the point that no one else was to ride it so it was always available to her. Edward had written that he wished she was back at Mansfield, but when he traveled it was to London and to Miss Crawford. Mr. Crawford had made a point to come check on her in Portsmouth and to arrange for her to return. Edmund showed her no more kindness than he did Susan or his sisters. Mr. Crawford was solicitous of Susan but as he was his own sister. It was Fanny he gravitated to in a room when he entered. It was her whose comfort seemed to be his primary concern.
Such had been the case for several months now. She had once thrown the word constancy at him like a weapon, but now he had proved her wrong. Even with a long parting and her attention being fixed on her family and Tom's care he was right there. He faded to the background helping wherever he could. Even once her Uncle had returned he still assisted with some of the family duties to ease their burden.
His sister had done much of the same. Taking over the entertainment in the morning and afternoon of Lady Bertram so Susan could attend to the duties of the house. Edmund had noticed it and glowed the sight of her being as a daughter to his mother. Edmund had never looked at her like that when she patiently managed his mother's work or calmed her nerves. He never would. Fanny saw the difference now. Seeing him in love, she knew he had never cared for her the same way.
The truly surprising part was that she was beginning to see that she had never really cared for him that way either. He had been the only sun in her world. Like the first touches of a sunny April day when the wind still bites. After the dreary and frigid winter has passed that thaw and first touches of sun have you rushing outside to bask in what you call warmth. If that same windy day with its small hint of the sun's warmth came in June you would call it dreary and frigid. Edmund had been her warm April day. Now that she was seeing the June of Crawford's love she could see that she had never had that before.
Fitzwilliam was thoroughly enjoying his visit to his Aunt. Not for the usual reasons someone may enjoy a family visit. There were no warm familial feelings. His enjoyment came completely from watching his Cousin Darcy turn all sorts of colors and squirm. The man was like a volcano. Solom and quiet as a mountain until he finally reached a boiling point somewhere below the surface where no mortal could see, then exploding to reek a path of destruction. Fitzwilliam though was not a mere mortal where Darcy was concerned. He could always see the pending explosions. Like the one they were heading for this afternoon. His Aunt was spouting on and one about the expectations of marriage for her daughter, while Ann sat there looking bored as ever. Fitzwilliam knew Ann had no interest in marriage and suspected she had a "particularly close" friendship with Sarah, her lady's maid from what he had seen of their interactions. Good for her he thought, find some enjoyment in this prison of a house. His Aunt seemed to be putting on an extra elaborate show for her parson and his wife. The two flitted around like particularly annoying parrots only capable of saying "Of course Lady Catherine'' or "You are so wise Lady Catherine."
"It is the responsibility of a mother to ensure her daughter the best of positions prior to her departure from this earth. Imagine the shame of a mother leaving daughters unmarried and a burden on their male relatives. Like you poor Mr. Collins. I do not know what your Cousin Bennett's wife is about. Having five daughters and not seeing a single one married before allowing the others out. She ought to be focusing all of her attention on the eldest until married then moving to the next. No wonder she has no success. She will likely leave you the entire bunch of spinsters to be hoisted on your charity when you inherit Longbourn. I bet they were hoping you would offer for one of them and then the rest could just sponge. It will not do, they will have to find positions when they do not marry" Catherine lectured on.
"Wise advice as ever My Lady. I hear the elder two may have chance on beauty alone if they do not set their sights too high, but the rest I fear will be an issue I will have to deal with." Collins responded
Darcy had perked up at the mention of Bennett in a way that had Fitzwilliam intrigued. "Bennets of Longbourn. Near Meryton? By what means are you to inherit." Darcy asked
"I am the next entail as a male heir. The entire lands and assets pass to the next male in line. Their mother despite her connection to trade had only 10,000 pounds for her daughters." Collins responded proudly as if he had done something to deserve the honor other than of being born male.
Fitzwilliam was surprised to see the color drain from Darcy, the impending eruption cooling into dread of a different kind. "Well Darcy, if we are too make it out to the edge of the estate to look at that water drainage issue the steward mentioned we ought to go now." Fitzwilliam pulled tomorrow's plan to today to get Darcy out before whatever was going on in his head caused an issue.
Darcy catching on and seeing his escape "Rightly so Fitzwilliam. We must depart for now, until next time Mr. and Mrs. Collins."
Neither man spoke until they were riding away from the stables. Fitzwilliam attempting to break the foul mood "It is a good thing our Aunt is rich. Imagine what a harridan she would be considered if poor. As we all know a rich woman can never be a harpy as a rich man is never a fool." Instead of laughing Darcy looked as if he had been struck. Sighing his exasperation "Darcy would you just tell me what this is all about, you know I detest this strong silent charade of yours."
Darcy scowled at Fitzwilliam but still confessed what had happened in Meryton. " I fear I was too harsh on all of them. I am so used to the scheming mothers of town who try to trap you that I have stopped even being slightly open with people. While in town this is seen as reserved, in a more open and interactive society of the country it was down right impolite. I relax enough at Pemberley to slip modes seamlessly, however I was not at home there and dealing with Bingley's sister as well. I was especially hard on the Bennets, judging the elder girls for their mothers crudeness. But you are right, her behavior is actually better than our Aunt's. But with no wealth no one excuses it. She also has more reason to act so. Should the girls not marry well it could mean hardship for the entire family on her husbands passing. I do not know what there father is thinking to not have done something to remedy this after the first few daughters. I looked at their behavior without any look at why it is that way. Even her wild younger sisters I think I only took so personally because of Wickham's presence and how much it reminded me of Georgie's danger."
"Wickham? He is there. Running around with these people's daughters. Did you at least speak with their fathers" Fitzwilliam drew his horse to a stop turning to his cousin. His unshakable humor, slow to anger usually was reaching it at this thought.
"No, I could think of no way to do so without outing Georgie. Beside she seems to prefer him." Darcy responded.
Now he was livid, "who prefers him." Darcy not realizing his slip finally got out the entirety of the story of his time including his attraction to Elizabeth, despite her lower standing.
"So you left her and her family to be ruined so there could never again be a temptation for you to be less than a cold social climbing snob. I knew you were foolish in your stiff view of duty but I never knew you to be cruel in it." Fitzwilliam was ready to strike him square in the nose for the first time since they were seven years old.
"What? No, never." Darcy turned even paler, seeming to realize the possible consequences for Elizabeth should it play out that way. "I..I never would want...I merely meant to remove myself from the situation to avoid temptation. I did not even stop to think of them. Oh, god. I left them with a wolf and walked away for the comfort of a fire. How do I fix it." Darcy looked ill at the thought of what might be happening in his absence.
"I know you owe them nothing and we agreed not to ruin Wickham less he out Georgie, but that does not stop your ability to give a quiet word to a few friends to have caution. I also would hate to see this avoidance cause you to be callous in a way you later regret. Will allowing one of her sisters to be ruined make you love her less? Because make no mistake you are in love with her. I know Colonel Forester, I cannot believe he knows what Wickham is. He has a young silly wife of his own. I will warn him and hope it has the effect wanted. We know it is only a matter of time before his debts corner him again and he looks to seduce someone with money." Fitzwilliam found himself for the first time since they were children lecturing his usually more mature cousin.
"You are right, it was cowardly. I hoped like Binley, out of sight would mean out of mind. It has not been the case and in my rush to flee I left the entire town in a bad position. Write to Forester. It is time I check on Bingley and see if he still pines as well. I cannot see them as well paired but if he is still in love after a break I will accompany him back to Netherfield. I owe the entire town a better impression of our family as well." Darcy responded seeming to have reached a conclusion on more than travel.
"Very well, I will write to Forester. His regiment is due to leave the area soon. Hopefully he can keep a leash on Wickham. They are also departing Meryton soon from what I saw of the schedules. He can take the warning on to the next town, Brighton I think. I know you wanted to return to Georgie, I will go to her. If once the regiment departs you are there and Bingley does not mind I will bring her to Netherfield." Fitzwilliam returned
"Let us make our excuses to Aunt Catherine, she will be so pleasant at our changed departure." Darcy returned some humor coming back to him.
Tom's return to health and return to entertainment, brought an odd mixture of lively but reserved to the evenings at Mansfield. Henry and his sister still joined them most nights. They had all become an odd little collection of young people. The elder Bertrams joining them, but enjoying watching their interactions, instead of engaging. Mary was helping Susan at the piano, Tom and Julia played cards with their parents. Edmund was attentive turning pages for the two at the piano, beaming at Mary. Henry was quietly reading Shakespeare aloud to Fanny in the opposite corner of the room, as she sat in the window seat watching the stars come out.
Henry stopped his reading, looking also out at the stars. "I have not actually star gazed since I was very small and just learning them."
Fanny turned to him "I have not done so in a long time either. Would you care to join me in the garden to see them?"
"I would love to." Henry took her arm, excusing them from the others with a nod from Sir Thomas and heading out the door nearby into the small garden path.
"I was always horrible at keeping the stories straight. Who was hidden away as punishment, who as reward. I cannot think it much of a reward, you are known forever but swept away from all you love. Seems like a cold and empty existence." Henry stared at the stars that had started to show, turning finally to Fanny
Fanny smiled at him. "You are right, it is an overwhelming feeling, great and terrible to be placed on such a pedestal. It is much better, much more fulfilling to be loved in a way you can return." Her smile and look seeming to carry a much greater weight than her statement.
"Do you..I mean. Fanny you must know my feelings for you have only changed in that I am more sure than ever that you would make me the happiest of men. But I do not wish to press you. It will be only on your wish that I ask again for you to return it." Henry stared at her with the same overwhelming awe as he had the skies above him .
"I do wish" Fanny responded letting her hand trail down his arm to rest against his palm.
Henry grasped her hand placing the back of it against his cheek for a moment. "Miss Price, my Fanny, will you marry me?"
"Yes, I think I will" Fanny responded most definitely, smiling in a most unfannylike way.
They walked for sometime below the stars savoring the quiet before having to cause a roil of excitement by announcing their news to those behind in the drawing room. Though as several of them were watching from the windows with knowing smiles, it would not be as much of a surprise as they expected.