The chase for the throne has begun! Spidey, Kitty and Wade are ready to bring the fight to King Sauron and his new tower, but Itsy Bitsy is already setting her sights at them, all the while Sauron send his first wave of creatures to Krakoa and let the mutants know he's gunning at them. This promises to be quite a bumpy road to the top, so let's jump into the action!

Enjoy the reading!

SPIDER-MAN AND KITTY PRYDE: ROYAL PAINS

Chapter 11: Take Back the Throne, Part 2 – All the way Up

There is no turning back now. Sauron just made his move and convinced almost everyone on that island that he killed Deadpool and, by Law, has taken over the throne, but Deadpool is alive and very pissed off, not to mention that the Royal Guard are itching for a rematch against Itsy Bitsy, Spider-Man wants to fulfill the favor to Logan and Kitty just wants to end this and go home as soon as possible.

The group of heroes jump from rooftop to rooftop, landing nearby the main tower where Sauron has relocated as his Throne Room, stopping at the sight of the still digging pits from the front entrance.

"And in another cliché, they dig a pit in the front of the tower!" Spidey quips "I'm gonna be very pissed if he chooses to fill them with lava".

"The real shocker is how fast they made all of this" Kitty comments, surprised at how fast the monsters had assembled everything.

"Hey, when it comes to labor effectiveness, monsters are surprisingly as amazing as a Japanese Working Crew" Wade replies "You just blink and they're ready to go, Hell, Damage Control could improve their numbers if they hire these boys" he adds as he leads the charge, marching towards the bridge, but just as they start to walk over it, the pits begin to be flooded with a green substance.

"It seems that Sauron chose something different from lava" Chet Morita comments as the group looks down the bridge, noticing how the environment around them becomes more hostile.

"It's Acid!" the Night Wolf exclaims seeing how a rock falls from the bridge and instantly melts.

"Acid? Damn…Sauron is really going for the 'Crazy Evil King' troupe" Wade quips, walking faster to avoid dealing with the acid while the rest of the crew joins him and finally enter the main door.

"Sure, the Izhkabibble Pot says to the Messhugah Kettle" Kitty voices her annoyance as she walks with the group, heading to the elevator "Seriously? The elevator? Sure! Let's go tell Sauron that we're coming!" she complains, pointing out how they are losing the element of surprise.

"To be fair, at this point, Sauron should be aware that we're coming for him" Spidey replies "Besides, we're talking about, what, 20? 30 floors?" he poses the question.

"35, actually" Wade answers the question "And I for one, refuse to use the stairs, and even Jeff agrees on that front, amirite?" he then looks at Jeff, who nods in response.

"MRRRRF!" Jeff growls, seemingly agreeing with Wade's words.

"God, give me the strength to hang on for just a few more minutes" Kitty mutters, praying for a little bit of patience to deal with Deadpool until they end this, but as the group heads to the elevator area, the Night Wolf stops, sniffing the surroundings and then holding on his spear.

"Look alive, Royal Guard! We have a visitor!" the Night Wolf warns as he stands on guard, with the rest of the group following suit, and the warning is confirmed by Spidey's Spider-Sense.

"There's someone around…" Spidey comments and right then, the sound of gunshots is heard, prompting the group to jump and roll avoiding the shots.

"I'm Heeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeee!" Itsy Bitsy exclaims, jumping from the top of the reception hall, shooting at the group as she unsheathes her katanas with her upper arms when she lands and she fires her guns with her middle hands "And this time, I'll make sure everyone here is DEAD!" she threatens as she jumps, dodging a fireball from Lockheed but when she lands she takes a double strike from Zrrgo and Chet.

"Sire! You go ahead! We'll take care of this wench!" the Night Wolf speaks to his King, giving them the space to march into battle while the Royal Guard takes care of dealing with Itsy Bitsy.

"Oh, Nuh-Uh! You're not escaping me!" Itsy Bitsy exclaims as she sees Deadpool, Spider-Man and Kitty head to the elevator, to which she shoots a web-line at them, trying to stop the elevator door, only to be intercepted by a fireball from Lockheed "UUURGH! You #$%&+*%#% pest!" she exclaims, aiming her gun at him, but now she is intercepted by Jeff, who bites her arm while small bits of Kohlaab hold on to her other arms, leaving her open for a laser blast from Bün-Bün.

"Do not let her stand her ground, Royal Guard!" the Night Wolf takes command, looking at the elevator to ensure that his King and the heroes reached in "Lockheed, Jeff, you should accompany them, we'll take care of this" he tells them, to which Lockheed nods.

"Rwoooo!" Lockheed growls, flying past the fight to grab Jeff, heading towards the elevator just as it shuts the door.

"Now, is time to bring you down, foul creature!" the Night Wolf exclaims, rushing towards Itsy Bitsy to tackle her, but she jumps to dodge him, however, she is struck from behind by Zrrgo with a massive punch that sends her towards Quonian, who connects a slash with his spear and then the Night Wolf takes advantage to slash her with his claws "The last time we were unprepared, but now, you cannot surprise us anymore…yield and your death will be merciful".

"Awwww, you guys think this is the only thing I got?" Itsy Bitsy poses the rhetorical question with a mocking tone "Because your NEW King gave me a wicked awesome makeover" she speaks with a more menacing tone as she slowly transforms into her more advanced form, growing in size and musculature, with her chelicerae becoming more prominent and protruding spikes and claws, almost resembling a humanoid spider-creature "You thought I was a #$%&+ before? Look at me now!" she then shoots web-lines that catch Zrrgo, Bün-Bün, Chet and Quonian, pulling them towards her to slash them with her claws as she slashes the smaller fragments of Kohlaab with her katanas, leaving the Night Wolf as the last man standing.

MEANWHILE

The elevator activates, sending the group to the upper floors, all of them bizarrely quiet as the background elevator music plays out, which curiously is playing a lounge version of Britney Spears' 'Toxic'.

"Bzzdddt Bzzddtt Hmmnaride, Hmn Toxic Hmmsppnundr, Tssst Hmmpoisnn Pddradsse, Hmmdictd Dyou Hmmchnow Hmchtxiic" Wade tries to hum the lyrics of the song, much to the annoyance of both Spidey and Kitty "What? Can't you guys appreciate a classic?" he poses the question, but before anyone else speaks, the elevator suddenly stops.

"Seems that the 'element of surprise' is officially off the table" Spidey replies, starting to feel the buzzing of his Spider-Sense "Yup, definitively something bad's coming" he stands in guard alongside Kitty while Wade unsheathes his katanas and Lockheed flaps his wings as he holds Jeff. Wade opens the door and sees the long aisle with the light going through the windows, the route completely clear.

"Are you sure this is why your Tingle-Thingy is buzzing?" Wade asks while he steps out "Because this whole place is as empty as the skulls of the Kardashian fam…" his joke is suddenly cut off when a pair of tentacles emerge from the ceiling, grabbing him to toss him around the place "AAAAAAIEEEE! HELP! HELP!" he exclaims while the rest step out, fighting against the tentacles.

Spidey dodges the tentacles thanks to his Spider-Sense, and years of experience dealing with Doctor Octopus, shooting web-lines to wrap up a few of them and severe its movements while Lockheed shoots fireballs and Jeff bites the ones that are holding Wade, all the while Kitty uses her phasing powers to avoid being hit and tangles some of the tentacles to bring down the creature.

Two more creatures drop from the ceiling, large spherical-shaped creatures with tentacles protruding from their entire bodies, trying to spike the heroes, who jump from side to side dodging their moves. Deadpool holds his katanas and slices the ones from the creature that held him and then looks at the crew who keeps fighting them.

"This definitively feels like going through a horror movie, but without the background music" Spidey quips as he dodges and punches the tentacles.

"You'd rather want to hear again that lounge version of outdated pop music?" Kitty quips as she breaks a couple of tentacles while Lockheed fires a fireblast at the creature.

"HEY! Britney Spears is timeless!" Wade quips as he rushes through the room slashing the tentacles with his katanas, effectively taking down the creatures and clearing the way to the access door to the stairs "Good start, after just going up through…" he kicks the door to open it, immediately looking at the floor number "Ten floors? That means we still have a long way to go" he comments, but when he turns around, he sees a last tentacle lurking behind Kitty, to which he pulls out one of his guns and shoots it right next to her, spooking her as the tentacle falls on her side.

"WHAT THE #$%& IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Kitty yells at Wade, her patience almost depleted after that action.

"I just saved your life! Ergo, YOU'RE WELCOME!" Wade exclaims while Spidey, Lockheed and Jeff simply look by in the middle.

"Uhhhh, guys, I think we should get moving" Spidey points at the open door while Lockheed flies by and Jeff walks to his feet, but as he starts to climb the stairs, once again his Spider-Sense alerts him of incoming danger.

"Rwoooo!" Lockheed growls, throwing his firebreath at a couple of bird-like monsters that go down the stairs.

"Incoming!" Spidey exclaims, shooting a pair of web-balls at one of them, jumping to kick down another one, prompting Kitty and Wade to follow suit and start walking up the stairs, fighting against the monsters that keep on coming.

"You really think I need your help to protect myself?" Kitty asks Wade as she connects a series of punches to one of the monsters.

"I'm just watching your back!" Wade replies "You're my buddy Spidey's girlfriend! I don't want to ruin his life like every other Marvel writer out there" he quips as he shoots another monster, throwing it down.

"Oh, so now I'm important to you!?" Kitty throws another question, all the while she keeps fighting another flock of bird-like monsters, holding them with a headlock before throwing to another monster.

"You think I rile you up because you're irrelevant?" Wade asks while he slashes another monster "I rile you up because you are important!" he adds, jumping to help Jeff clear the path, walking another floor up "You're Claremont's Baby Girl! You're Bendis' Spoiled Brat! You're the one Joss Whedon chose as a mold to create the only thing Sarah Michelle Gellar's ever known for!" he exclaims as he keeps slashing and shooting monsters.

"Did you just compare me to Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" Kitty asks in complete bafflement.

"Just take the compliment, Cat!" Spidey exclaims while he uses a web-line to yank another monster and throw him down to another flock that keeps jumping, reaching another floor while Lockheed and Jeff help clear the path biting and burning the remnants.

"AAARGH!" Kitty groans just as she phases through the last bird-like creature, but as the group enters the next floor, they discover now a group of Glob-like monsters.

"Oh dear God, suddenly I feel like I'm back to my substitute teacher job at Westchester" Spidey mutters when he sees the creatures.

"I know the feeling man, that Glob Herman kid is Creepy As #$%&" Wade comments as he starts shooting the creatures, but the bullets go right through them due to their viscous bodies "OK, this requires a different strategy" he mutters while he pulls a grenade out of one of his pockets, throwing it at the core of one of the monsters.

"Kitty! Need your help over here!" Spidey calls her, prompting her to jump towards the group.

"Everyone, stay close!" Kitty calls everyone to gather "NOT YOU!" she angrily yells at Wade while she holds Spidey, Lockheed and Jeff just as the grenade explodes, throwing green goo around the place, covering Wade with it while it goes through the rest thanks to Kitty's phasing powers.

"You really hate me, don't you?" Wade asks her with a deadpan tone, prompting Kitty to glare at him, but Spidey steps in before any more verbal damage is done.

"Let's save the hate for the real bad guy here, folks" Spidey comments, looking at the other glob monsters "Those things don't regenerate, don't they?" he asks, but he then looks at the glob monsters absorbing the remains of their fallen comrade, growing a bit in size "I had to ask…"

"Let's just jump to the next floor!" Kitty exclaims, running through the stairs while Spidey shoots a couple of web-lines to make the jump above them, reaching another floor just as the glob monsters fire streaks of liquid goo at them. Spidey, Wade and Lockheed –who was carrying Jeff- manage to dodge it, but Kitty is hit just as she lands, getting covered with green slime "Oy Vey..this is getting further humiliating…" she complains with complete annoyance in her voice.

"You think that's bad? It was worse when that bearded hillbilly of Jason Aaron made Frankenstein dress you up like a cowgirl! Or that time you got pregnant with Brood!" he quips, recalling a couple of Kitty's most humiliating episodes of her tenure with the Jean Grey School, causing her to gasp in absolute shock.

"HOW'D YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT!?" Kitty screams her question in complete shock, something that also stuns her boyfriend.

"Wait, WHAT!?" Spidey asks as he puts his hands over his head.

"Oh, I guess he didn't know…" Wade comments, feeling a bit embarrassed about revealing that about Kitty in front of her boyfriend "Whoopsie…" he shrugs his shoulders, but Kitty's eye begin to twitch in anger.

"WHOOPSIE!?" Kitty exclaims in anger "WHOOPSIE!?" she slowly and menacingly walks towards him.

"I mean, sure, it's not like it's a secret amongst the X-Men, I mean, Doop talks a lot in poker nights" Wade tries to calm her down, even trying to throw Doop under the bus to save his skin "Which reminds me, did you really kiss that weird floating pickle? Does it taste like pickles?" he throws the question, but that just riled Kitty to the point of no return.

"Wade, you're not helping…at all" Spidey mutters, looking in awe at the scene while Lockheed and Jeff look at each other as if they were saying 'Uh-Oh', but right then, they become witnesses of the inevitable: Kitty finally snaps.

"AAAARRRRGGGHHH!" Kitty groans loudly in anger as she lunges at Wade, grabbing his neck to choke him in complete anger at him "I HATE YOU! I #$%&+*&$ HATE YOU!" she yells as she tightens her grasp until Spidey finally intervenes.

"Kitty! KITTY!" Spidey calls her as he pulls her off from Wade, causing her to face him with a deadly glare and heavy breathing "Save that anger to the bad guys, please!" he tries to calm her down, but she has reached her boiling point, yet he has managed to convince her to redirect her anger, to which she grabs Wade's katanas and runs up the stairs, phasing through the door to catch the awaiting monsters in surprise and strike them, leaving Spidey in absolute bafflement.

"Uggh…now I know how Bart Simpson felt for 32 seasons…" Wade mutters while he rubs his neck, feeling relieved due to her releasing the choke.

"Look at what you've done Wade…" Spidey tells him, still in shock as he looks at Kitty slaughter the monsters in front of her, slashing them with the katanas while she phases through them "She's gone into Berserker Mode…"

"#$%&! Look at her go!" Wade exclaims as he looks at her "That's what Wolverine's influence does to ya" he comments, then looks at Spidey "I bet looking at her go like that is turning you on, Eh? Eh?" he playfully elbows his side, but Spidey looks at him and, while not noticeable due to the lenses, he glares at him.

"#$%& YOU WADE!" Spidey snaps at him, rushing to stop the slaughter and try to calm his girlfriend.

"Hey! It's '#$%& You, King Deadpool'!" Wade corrects him, pulling out his guns to join the fray while Lockheed and Jeff follow suit, hoping that things do not further escalate, although knowing Deadpool, they might as well do now before they pile up and explode much later.

And it finally happened! Kitty Pryde finally snapped at Deadpool…and I must say, I don't blame her one bit. Spidey's gonna have a tough time assimilating the fact that the woman he loves can go into full "Berserker Mode" and strike fear into his heart. And yes, the Royal Guard now has to deal with an enhanced Itsy Bitsy while Sauron still works on his plan.

The road to the top still has some obstacles, so let's hope they make it through in as many pieces as possible. Stay tuned for more!

NEXT CHAPTER: THE BATTLES GET A LITTLE BIT COMPLICATED…