The soft pillows beneath her head somewhat comforting compared to what the situation would be like if she was at home with Peter. Her throat was dry and in need of water, reaching out hazily she tried in a blind attempt to pick up a glass of water but nothing until she felt someone's arm link around her middle causing her eyes to widen and her head to bolt up; now she wished she was still on her medication as she wouldn't have had a drink otherwise.

"Oh no" she whispers shaking her head trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes "What have I done" she gulps peeling the arm off her and sliding out of bed she scrambles around picking up her clothes which were littered all over the floor sliding each garment on one by one until she was fully clothed; gingerly she opened the door and left hoping that she would never have to speak about this moment again...

Walking down the cobbled streets of her home she entered the pub and immediately run up the stairs into her bedroom she shared with Peter seeing no sign of him there neither of Johnny and Jenny which just left her confused entirely. Grabbing her stuff for a shower she went ahead and decided to shower in an attempt to free herself from her thoughts, in an attempt to forget her disastrous life. After her shower, she plugged her phone in seeing it was dead then headed to the factory for a bit, only to be clocked by Adam and he followed her in there greeting her sarcastically and in somewhat annoyance that she scarpered knowing this was both of their faults.

"What do you want, can't you see I'm busy?" she snaps getting rather irritated, Adam just scoffs "Adam?"

"Why did you leave this morning?" he questions, she shakes her head not willing to answer his question "Come on a smart woman like you should have all the answers?"

"Just leave Adam, what happened between us-"

"Was a mistake let me guess?"

"That's exactly what it is, a mistake, yes. It should never be spoken about again and if you even dare go shouting your mouth off to Peter I will physically cut you up into little chunks and bury you in the Rover's beer garden"

"Violence was never your strong point" he snipes, she raises her eyebrows as if to tell him to stop pushing her buttons "So what now?"

"Now?" she scoffs "What do you think?"

"Well I dont know, you might want more-"

"The ego of it"

"That wasn't a no"

"Well let me spell it out for you; no"

"That's cleared that up then" he states beginning to walk out of the factory, he slams the door with great force leaving her to groan and rub her forehead; Sarah enters

"Was that Adam I just saw?" she queries, Carla's gulps in fear and nods "He was probably telling you about Peter then"

"Peter?" she questions exasperatedly, Sarah frowns "What about Peter, sorry it's just he was giving me some home truths"

"About what?" she scoffs, Carla just sighs slightly biting her lip hating how she was becoming a serial liar

"I saw Peter getting into a car with Johnny and Jenny earlier-"

"What?"

"He didnt exactly look sober" Sarah states feeling immensely bad for dropping this on Carla now of all days "I'm sorry"

"No, it's not your fault, I should probably go and see him, thanks if you could open up that would be great"

"Yeah, of course, take all the time you need eh?" Sarah responds reassuringly, Carla nods grabbing her stuff and leaving the factory

She went to the hospital and found her way to where Peter was constantly checking where she needed to go via Johnny's voicemail. Upon entering the ward where Peter was she sighed at his appearance, he was asleep and he looked rather tired and she was grateful that he was still here. Taking his hand into hers and sighing slightly at how things had ended up here, she felt as if they were cursed, their relationship was cursed that being in Weatherfield was cursing them. That was difficult enough to understand then the thought of losing Peter, at this point, she needed a clean break, she was gathering her things until his eyes opened, he grabbed onto her hand weakly.

"I dont know what I'm doing here, I should go-"

"No" he shakes his head "Stay"

"I should go" she starts but he pulls her gently towards him "Peter..."

"Carla, I'm so sorry-"

"I know" she smiles slightly sitting down on the chair and glancing down to where her hands were fiddling with one another in her lap "I want to tell you something-" she starts feeling immensely guilty as a doctor enters the room with a small smile on his face, she would just have to wait to tell him...

Things didnt exactly pan out the way she hoped, she couldnt tell him about Adam not now, not that now his health was in jeopardy and she really didn't want to contribute to that. She got him home and she couldnt look at him in the eye, she couldnt even bare to look at his face knowing the deceit, knowing the feelings she had about herself and knowing internally and externally in her body that she was so much in the wrong. Disgust was something very present, the disgust for herself and somewhat disgust for their relationship, it was scary and that was something she didnt feel as if she was ok with, she was soon brought out her thoughts,

"Ugh come on Adam" she groans bashing on Adam's flat door, she sighs in response grabbing her phone and ringing it "I know you're in there for god's sakes"

"I swear I'm going to kill this person-" a muffled voice comes from the other side of the door only to reveal Sarah "Oh...hello Carla? What are you doing here?"

"Um..." she trails off as Adam comes into view, his top half naked causing her to gulp "I was wondering if I could speak to Adam, it's about Peter"

"Oh right," Sarah whispers "We're kind of busy-"

"Sarah" Adam scolds, she rolls her eyes biting her lip "Is everything ok?"

"Um," she falters feeling very vulnerable in this position "It doesn't matter, it was about Peter but it can wait, you two enjoy yourselves" she whispers fiddling with the strap of her bag unable to look Adam or Sarah in the eye "Look I'm just going to go, I'll call you later or something?"

"Ok" Adam nods slowly sensing a shift in her emotions "Well I'll hear from you when I hear from you" he smiles, she nods walking off, Sarah glances to Adam

"Now where were we?" she smirks wrapping her arms around his neck as they kiss passionately, closing the front door to the flat leaving Carla to seethe and enjoy her tears...

Walking down the streets she wasn't really looking where she was going, home didnt exactly seem appealing now neither did the way she felt about everything. Adam jumping from woman to woman really did make her angry, she thought she had got through to him but now she was unsure whether her presence did anything for Peter's nephew's ego which was bigger than earth's entirety. Opening the door to Roy's she smiled at his presence behind the counter causing him to smile back and look expectantly at her; she just ordered herself a coffee and that was that, she sat down at one of the free tables fiddling with her mug.

"She's been there ages, you should have a word" Nina prompts, Carla was still oblivious to the world "Roy-"

"Nina, she doesn't need me interfering in her relationship, sometimes it's just better to leave her to it-"

"Oh come off it she would love your input, go! I'll hold the fort here"

"Carla?" Roy approaches her, she ignores him obviously too dazed for the situation "Carla"

"Oh, god sorry Roy, I was in a world of me own" she murmurs "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you would like a coffee upstairs?" he offers, she glances to Nina who rolled her eyes as she tried to stifle a laugh

"Ok then" she smiles grabbing her bag and heading up the stairs with Roy, she sits on the arm chair and places a cushion on her lap as she sits crossed-legged; she watches him place a mug down on the table "Thank you"

"No problem" he smiles with a curt not, she flashes him a smile back "How are you and Peter?"

"Pass" she states not really wanting to talk about it "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course"

"How did you and Hayley survive, your love for each other it was unbreakable?"

"Is this about your relationship with Peter?" he questions diverting from the answer, he watches her nod sadly

"Yeah, I think we're broken now, irreparable" she sighs, Roy just takes her hand and shakes his head "I did something stupid Roy, so stupid"

"We've all done stupid things, it cant be that bad" he reassures her or tries to, she shakes her head biting her lip and looking up at him before chucking her head back and closing her eyes "Carla?"

"He's going to hate me"

"Hate you? Why would he hate you, the last time you had a falling out you were fine, what's happened since?"

"I lost his baby, that was the first thing, again might I add I'm not talking about the first time-"

"You were pregnant?"

"Yeah a little boy" she whispers wiping her eyes and glancing down to the ring on her finger, she slides it off "We got through it, then we got married"

"Married?"

"In Kefalonia", she murmurs "We were planning on having a fancy celebration over the whole thing, we just wanted to have a blessing before making it official he organised the whole thing-"

"I would say that he loves you then"

"He won't love me after what I've done" she whispers "I cant even love myself right now"

"What happened then, from what you've said things seemed amicable between you both" Roy comments, she sighs shaking her head

"He was drunk, he had been drinking, I went off the rails at him because of it as I thought we were starting over, I should have known better shouldn't I? I mean I had a problem with the sauce didnt I back in the day and I should be more sympathetic-"

"You just lost your baby Carla" Roy softens, she shakes her head "You need time to grieve"

"I cant grieve for him, not without Peter, he was a part of us" she whispers shaking her head in a bid to get rid of all the thoughts in her head "I cant"

"I think you need to Carla, for you, for your mental health you need to do this, you need to speak to him-"

"I cant"

"Why?"

"Because I cheated on him" she gasps trying to control her sobs, Roy looks rather shocked at this admission "I'm so stupid this is going to kill him if he finds out"

"Kill him?"

"One more drink could kill him, that's what they have been saying for ages now and it's looking like it could be becoming a reality, he got taken to hospital by Johnny and Jenny, I can't let that happen, I can't have another person's death on my conscience especially...I can't, I hate myself so much, Roy"

"Maybe you should go away for a bit?" he questions, she shakes her head feeling as if she was running away; she needed to face the music

"No I cant" she shakes her head

"Go and see Michelle?"

"I dont know" Carla frets pinching the bridge of her nose, Roy smiles slightly "Look I'm going to head back, I'll have a think about what you said then I'll ring you, I might feel better after having a sleep considering I'm a bit knackered"

"Take care Carla"

"And you"

She went the long way home in a vein attempt to giver herself some breathing space and in an attempt to clear her head because she really did need it. Deciding to go into town for a bit via tram just to find any old excuse to not go home because she felt sickened by that place. She picked out some things in the sales before deciding that she had no choice but to head back to where she lived. Entering the back room her heart filled with dread, Peter was sitting on the sofa slouched over asleep causing Carla to smile slightly so she went into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on, she soon felt his arms around her which caused her to jump,

"Gosh you scared me" she whispers trying to stay calm as she prepares them both a coffee "Coffee?"

"I want a word with you"

"Why?" she questions, her heart racing as she bites her lip "What about?"

"Don't look so worried" he responds handing her phone over to her, she frowns "You left it here, is there anything you want to talk to me about, you look like you could do with a chat"

"Do I? No, I dont think so" she shrugs passing him the mug, he nods slowly placing it back down on the counter causing her to frown "Should there be?"

"I dont know" he whispers "You had a call that came through on your phone"

"Oh, it's probably to do with work, I'll phone them back-"

"There's no need" he bites his lip, she frowns raising her mug up to her lips "Where did you get to last night when I was on my bender then?"

"I just went to a bar then crashed out at a hotel, that's all"

"That's all?"

"Yes that's all" she confirms sensing something was up with him "Is there something else I should have done?"

"It's just that someone from the hotel phoned your phone-"

"Oh?"

"Yeah...they said that the guy you were chilling with at the bar left his wallet there, they were just wondering if you know his contact details so he could collect it"

"Um no" she shakes her head, he narrows his eyes "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Who was the guy you were with?"

"Just some guy I found at the hotel bar, that's all, I just wanted a drink-"

"So you were drinking on your meds?"

"I was going to tell you but I didnt want to put temptation in your way, my keyworker phoned saying I dont need them anymore and that I'm ok to drink, I'm sorry for not telling you"

"But there's more you're not telling me?"

"No" she shakes her head slowly biting her lip and narrowing her eyes "I saw the guy at the hotel, he was just stopping for a drink and we shared a couple of drinks, I then went up to bed nothing more was said"

"Right" he hums "So it was all innocent?"

"Yes," she nods slowly "I dont know why you find it so hard to believe?"

"Because I know you're lying?"

"I'm not-"

"Come off it Carla" he chuckles, she pulls a face and removes herself from the kitchen sitting down on the armchair "I know you inside and out"

"Obviously not very well because I'm not lying" she chuckles slightly trying to keep up the pretence "Peter, I love you ok I'm not going to go and blow that ok?"

"You would tell me if something was up wouldn't you?" he questions, she smiles and nods placing her mug down on the table and sitting on his lap, he wraps his arms around her body

"Of course" she flashes him a smile, he kisses her on the forehead "I just want us to be honest, that's all"

"Ok" he nods "I can do that"

"Good, that's all I ask" she replies feeling immensely guilty about all the lies spilling out of her mouth in this current moment "I was going to go and have a nap as I was tired-"

"Ooo can I come?" his eyes light up, she raises an eyebrow

"You're meant to be resting" she responds, he pouts his lips "Fine, you go up and I'll be up in a minute-"

"You dont need to ask me twice" he chuckles as she gets off his lap and watches him go upstairs watching to make sure he was fully up the stairs, she clicks the door shut silently and leans against it trying to control the tears wishing she just made her life simpler...