For Thane. Love, IJKS xxx

Chapter Nine

July 2014

"I'm worried about Alex," Charlie admitted.

She and Joey had been out for dinner with Alex and Amy. It wasn't unusual. Since they had made friends with them on the boat two years ago, they had become the best of friends with them, along with Lucy and Paige and the others in their group of friends. Charlie felt that moving to Queensland had been the best move she had ever made. She and Ruby had been able to start their whole lives over.

Ruby had been studying hard at University and had a lovely boyfriend called David who was a Constable at Charlie's police station. Charlie was studying to be a Detective at last and so far, it was going well. And of course, she had reunited with the love of her life. They had had a blessing on their relationship six months ago. It had just been a small ceremony but it had been very special.

Leah came up all the way from Summer Bay. Aden and his brother, Justin came from where they lived in Melbourne. Even Bianca, who had just moved to Sydney had come to celebrate their special day and thankfully left Heath at home. That had really meant a lot. She and Charlie had had a serious falling out just before Charlie was shot. They had made friends again while she had been in hospital and they had kept in touch ever since. Charlie still couldn't believe that her friend had ended up with Heath Braxton of all people but she supposed she wasn't in a position to judge. Being with Brax had literally nearly killed her.

The wedding had been the most amazing day of both of their lives. Charlie had never imagined she could ever be so happy. She never wanted this feeling to end. This was the life she had always dreamed of having but had never imagined she would achieve.

"What exactly are you worried about?" Joey asked.

They were getting undressed for bed. Joey sat on the edge of the bed; she paused in taking off her t-shirt. She too was concerned about her friend. Charlie turned, unbuttoning her shirt.

"She just doesn't seem… happy," she said. "Like, she's… quiet? Do you think she's quiet?"

Joey nodded.

"It's almost like she's forgotten to have an opinion or something," she said.

Charlie came to sit beside her, shirt open, undressing forgotten.

"Do you… sometimes feel like…?"

"Like she's waiting for Amy to give her permission to speak?" Joey finished.

Charlie sighed heavily and nodded.

"I've never felt great about them," she admitted. "I've never quite been able to put my finger on it but I've never felt great about them. I just thought Amy was louder and Alex was quieter, nicer, better company. I've always preferred Alex."

"Me too," Joey said.

"But it's more than that," Charlie realised. "There's something wrong. There's something seriously wrong."

"What do we do, Charlie?" Joey asked.

The next day, knowing that Amy would be at work, Charlie and Joey knocked on Alex's front door. She looked anxious but she smiled when she saw them and welcomed them inside.

"I wasn't expecting you," she said. "The house is a little messy. I'm sorry."

"Oh, we don't care about that," Joey said.

She glanced around. The house was immaculate. She looked at Charlie.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Alex asked. "Oh! Do you guys want a drink? Something to eat?"

"We're fine, honestly," Charlie assured her.

She had let work know she would be late. Joey had done the same. They needed to talk to their friend. They needed to help her.

"We wanted to talk to you," Joey ventured.

Alex looked anxious. She sat down on the edge of the armchair.

"What's… what's wrong?" she asked.

Charlie watched her knot her hands together in her lap. She reached out gently and hand both her hands. She felt her jolt but remained in contact.

"We'd like you to tell us what's wrong, Alex," she said.

Alex fought tears. She felt frightened. She drew away from Charlie's grasp.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she denied.

She knew what was coming. She should have known that they would notice at some point. They were perceptive people.

"We've just… we've noticed that you seem…"

Joey looked at Charlie, not sure what words to use.

"Alex, are you feeling safe… at home?" Charlie asked.

"Of course I'm safe at home!" Alex snapped defensively. "Why wouldn't I be safe at home?"

"I'm sorry," Charlie said. "We're just concerned, as your friends, that you seem to be very anxious."

"I'm an anxious person," Alex countered.

"Yes, perhaps you are," Charlie agreed. "But it would be wrong of us to have these concerns about you and your well being and ignore them."

Alex shrugged. She curled up on the chair, resting her chin on her knees and wrapping her arms around her shins.

"So, what kind of concerns do you have?" she asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"It seems like you don't seem to have any opinions anymore," Joey ventured gently. "And we hear you apologise all the time. And it feels like you're seeking permission to speak."

"What? From Amy? Don't be silly," Alex said dismissively. "I'm a Doctor, for goodness sake. I'm an independent person. I have a professional job. Of course I have opinions. I have to have a strong mind. I'm not about to let someone just tell me what to do. And I wouldn't ask someone for permission to speak. No. You're wrong. I appreciate the concern, you guys but you're wrong. Okay?"

"Okay," Charlie sighed. "We're sorry."

Joey was crestfallen. She had hoped it would go better than this.

"But just in case you do ever want to talk, Alex, please know that we're here," Charlie told her.

"Thanks," Alex said. "But I won't. I'm fine. We had a bit of a row last night so things were a bit tense. I'm sorry if it affected the evening and you didn't have a good time or something. But she's not abusing me or whatever you think. I'm fine. We're fine. I'm fine."

She stood up, eager to show them out. As soon as they were gone, she sank against the front door until she was sat on the floor with her back against it. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She didn't know if she was angrier with herself for letting the cracks in her relationship show or for not reaching out for the help that was being offered. She felt so lost. She had felt so lost for too long. She had no idea how to escape.

November 2015

Charlie, Joey, Amy, Alex, Paige, Lucy, Ruby and David, their token boy were all crammed into a booth in a busy bar, celebrating Paige's birthday. It had been a year and Charlie and Joey had made no progress with Alex. They were constantly uncomfortable with the way Amy spoke to her but there was nothing they could prove and Alex didn't want to talk to them about it. They knew if they pushed, they would be shut out and then they would never be able to help. So they constantly made it clear that their spare room was made up for her whenever she needed it. And on occasion, she had needed it, when things had got really bad. But she always went home again and she didn't tell them much. They just had to make sure that Alex had somewhere and someone she felt safe with.

"So um… we actually have some news…" Charlie ventured when there was a break in conversation.

She caught Ruby's eye. She could see her daughter was excited. She held everyone's attention.

"Well, you can't be getting married again," Amy remarked. "We already did that."

"No, no, we're not getting married," Charlie said, holding Joey's hand. "But we've decided we're going to try for a baby."

"Aren't you missing something kind of vital?" Amy asked, raising her eyebrows.

Alex sighed quietly beside her, wondering why her partner couldn't just be happy for them. But things had definitely changed within their friendship over the years. Amy knew that Charlie and Joey had an awareness of the difficulties in their relationship, although it wasn't something they talked about. Once upon a time, way back when they had first met, the two couples had been very close but the more worried Charlie and Joey had become, the more concerned Amy had been about keeping them at a distance from Alex.

"We've had an appointment with a clinic," Joey told her. "And we've chosen a donor. So now we just need to take the next step. And hopefully this time next year, we'll have a baby."

"Wow!" Paige said. "That's amazing! Congratulations, you guys!"

"Yeah, congratulations!" Lucy enthused.

David threw his congratulations in too.

"I'm really happy for you," Alex said sincerely.

"Congratulations," Amy told them.

"I've already said it a billion times," Ruby admitted. "But congratulations again. I can't believe I'm going to have a brother or sister."

She shook her head in disbelief.

"So, who's going to carry it?" Paige asked.

"I am," Joey said. "Just for practicality purposes really. My job doesn't require guns or chasing down criminals. We don't want there to be any risks during the pregnancy."

Also, they had talked at length about the risks of the pregnancy and birth triggering traumatic memories for Charlie. The risk just didn't seem worth it when there was another option. But that wasn't something they especially wanted to discuss with Ruby, Charlie's daughter.

It was later on in the evening. Joey leant into Charlie, stealing a kiss.

"I think everyone was happy for us," she said.

Charlie smiled and put her arm around her.

"I think so," she said.

The main thing was that Ruby, who they had told a couple of weeks ago, was thrilled. They wouldn't be going ahead if she had objected. But all she wanted was them to be happy and all they wanted was for her to be happy. And so far, all three of them (and David) were.

"Alex is quiet again," Joey noticed.

Charlie sighed and nodded.

"Where is she, anyway?" she wondered.

Joey looked around but couldn't locate their friend.

"I need to use the bathroom anyway," she said. "I'll see if she's in there."

She kissed Charlie one more time and excused herself. She froze when she entered the ladies' bathroom. It didn't take a genius to work out that she had walked in on something. For starters, Alex was backed into a corner and Amy had been shouting. Amy backed off straight away and began making idle conversation. Joey ignored her and asked Alex if she was okay.

"Of course," Alex lied.

Joey wasn't convinced.

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" Amy demanded.

Joey hadn't realised until now quite how much her 'friend' had had to drink. She had to lean on the edge of the sinks to steady herself and her eyes were glassy and unfocused.

"The situation just seemed a little tense, that's all," Joey said, not intimidated. "And you're a little drunk."

"I am not drunk!" Amy yelled, slurred.

"You can barely stand up, Amy," Joey replied.

"Oh, you're high and mighty now you're pregnant, are you?" Amy accused.

"I'm not pregnant," Joey replied evenly. "I'm hoping to get pregnant at some point in the future. And I'm not high and mighty either. I'm just concerned. I want you both to be okay."

"Well, we're fine so why don't you just fuck off?" Amy snapped.

She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Joey made eye contact with Alex. She asked her again if she was okay.

"I'm fine!" Alex snapped. "Please don't interfere. You just make it worse."

"What am I meant to do, Alex?" Joey asked. "Walk in here and let her get on with it? I can't do that."

"You're making this harder for me!" Alex said. "Hovering around, always asking me if I'm okay!"

Tears threatened. She knew she was being unreasonable but she just couldn't stop.

"But you're not okay!" Joey said. "How can Charlie and I carry on living our lives knowing that our best friend, someone we love so much is not okay?"

"What am I supposed to do, Joey?" Alex asked.

"Pack your bag and move into our spare room," Joey told her, the same as she had told her hundreds of times before. "Let us do the rest."

"You'll be too busy soon," Alex said. "With the baby."

"We will never be too busy for you," Joey assured her. "Please. Pack your bag and come and live with us."

"I can't," Alex said. "She'll never let me go."

December 2015

It had been a lovely Christmas but unfortunately, Charlie had drawn the short straw and she had to work the evening shift, leaving Ruby, Joey and David to spend the evening together. She and Joey had had one round of IVF so far and it hadn't taken. They had enough savings for one round more so they were hoping that in the new year, they would get their second chance. This year had been a much healthier Christmas than ever before with both of them wanting to make sure that they were in the best possible position to get pregnant.

"Let's hope it's a quiet one tonight," Charlie remarked to her colleague and close friend, Senior Sergeant Warren Blake.

They had worked together for a long time now and he was definitely her preferred team member when she had a big case.

"A quiet Christmas Night? Are you serious?" Warren remarked from his desk, where he was taking the opportunity to go through paperwork he had been ignoring for too long.

Charlie chuckled, knowing he was right. All it took was one drink too many and all hell would break loose. She knew her colleagues had been on call outs all day already. It was not likely to become any easier.

"And we're up," Warren said, standing up. "Domestic."

He called out the address. Charlie froze. She knew exactly where they were headed.

Five minutes later, Charlie took a deep breath and knocked on the front door. She had asked Warren to let her take the lead, to which he had responded that she always took the lead, she was the Detective.

"What?"

Amy pulled the door angrily open. She was shocked to come face to face with Charlie.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry," Charlie said. "Someone reported sounds of shouting. Things being smashed."

"We weren't shouting," Amy lied. "We were laughing."

"Right," Charlie said. "Well, is it alright if we come in and just make sure?"

"What are you accusing me of, Charlie?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything but I'm legally obliged to make sure everyone in your household is safe, including you," Charlie replied. "So, may I come in?"

Amy was hesitant but obliged. Warren followed Charlie through the house. Charlie found Alex sat on the edge of the sofa looking desperately anxious. Amy hovered behind Charlie.

"So, now you've seen us both," Amy said stiffly. "You know we're fine."

"So… what happened here tonight?" Charlie asked. "Did you get into any argument?"

"No," Amy said. "I told you. We were laughing. I don't know who called you but…"

"I'm not at liberty to say but they were concerned about the level of shouting. They said there was banging and crashing. A smashing noise."

She nodded at the smashed vase on the floor.

"That was just an accident," Amy said.

Charlie sat beside Alex. She asked her if she was okay.

"It was just an accident," Alex said. "Everything's fine."

Charlie desperately tried to scan her for injuries but nothing was visible. All she wanted to do was take her home safely.

"So, you weren't arguing?" Charlie asked sceptically. "The person who reported it misinterpreted laughter? I mean, something must have been pretty funny."

Amy shrugged.

"Come on, guys," Charlie said. "We're friends, okay? It's not a crime to argue. I'm not here to make your lives difficult."

She looked at Alex who looked like the ghost of herself.

"I just need to know that your both safe," she said.

"Fine, we argued," Amy said. "It got a bit intense. But it's fine. There was no need for any nosy parkers to call the cops on us. This whole thing is ridiculous."

Charlie nodded.

"Well, perhaps we should just talk to you both separately," she suggested.

Amy immediately objected but Charlie was firm. She instructed Warren to take Amy into the kitchen. She remained alone with Alex. She took both her hands, looking into her eyes.

"Alex, please talk to me," she said. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing," Alex said. "We just argued. It's all been blown out of proportion."

"How did the vase break?"

"She just… she lost her temper."

"Did she throw it at you?"

"No," Alex lied.

"Alex… look, I'm not here as your friend now," Charlie said desperately. "I'm here as an officer of the law. I'm begging you to let me help you. We can go somewhere safe right now. We can just go. Please?"

"I couldn't leave her on Christmas Day," Alex said, horrified. "How cruel would that be? To walk out on someone on Christmas Day?"

"And how cruel is it to scream and shout at someone and throw a vase at them?" Charlie challenged. "On Christmas Day? On any day?"

Alex was trembling. She wanted to leave but she needed to stay. Amy needed her. She would never cope without her. But she was exhausted. She needed a break from all the noise in her head.

"She didn't mean it," she said.

"I'm sure she tells you that every time, right?" Charlie said. "I'm sure she has an excuse for everything she says and does. But it's not okay, Alex. None of this is okay. Please… let me take you somewhere safe. Let me help you. Please let me help you."

Alex squeezed Charlie's hands, torn between indecisiveness. Finally, she sighed.

"I'm okay," she said. "I'm fine here. I'm safe. I promise."

It was early morning on Boxing Day when Charlie arrived home, exhausted from her busy night shift. She hadn't been able to get Alex off her mind. Every domestic call that had come in, she had been scared that it was Alex and Amy again.

Joey was just waking up when she walked through the door. Charlie fell into her wife's arms and held her tight. Joey hugged her and kissed her shoulder.

"Tough shift?" she asked.

"Alex and Amy," Charlie mumbled into her neck.

Joey drew away, worried.

"She says she fine but… I'm so scared for her, Jo," Charlie said. "She won't listen. Nothing we say…"

She sighed heavily, tears in her eyes. Joey mirrored her expression. She pulled Charlie back in for another cuddle. They held on tight for a long time.

Several streets away, Alex slipped out of bed. Amy had continued drinking long into the night after Charlie and Warren had reluctantly left them to it. She had been furious that the police had been called and interfered with them.

It had been such a stupid argument that had got out of control.

One of the nurses at work, Sheridan had sent her a Merry Christmas text message, which was fine. It was normal. Lots of people from work had sent them round. But then Sheridan, who Alex got on pretty well with, had asked her if she'd like to go for coffee when they were next back on shift.

It didn't mean anything. Sheridan had a girlfriend, for starters. She was new in town and reaching out to new friends. But Amy didn't like Alex having friends, especially not ones that she couldn't control. Alex couldn't remember the last time she socialised with someone and Amy hadn't been present. Amy was always there, controlling things. Alex was allowed to go to work and that was it. Otherwise, she came home and spent all her time with Amy. They socialised with their circle of friends but Alex was not allowed to see any of them unless Amy was there.

Charlie and Joey did their best and Alex appreciated it. She knew she frustrated them. She knew they were desperate to rescue her and make her safe. But she was trapped here. It wasn't as simple as just leaving. It was complicated.

Next time… Alex opens up to Willow and Charlie and Joey visit Leah…