Author's Note:

Hi, guys! Here's another chapter! I know things are slow, but I think that these changes are important and I didn't want to rush over difficult decisions and their impact. This chapter is the last one that's so focused on feelings, I promise. Things start to speed up in chapter 13.

This emotional Darcy might remind you of my story Take the good with the bad. If you read it, you know it can get sentimental.

Stay safe!

Jen

By the time he finished his letters, Fitzwilliam was exhausted. He sealed them and asked Mr. Reynolds to send them immediately by express before he headed to the gallery. He stood in front of his father's portrait and felt defeated.

"I am sorry, Father," he whispered, barely loud enough for his parents to hear. "I... I think you might be here, but I might be losing my mind. I tried to help George as you asked me to do, but he has crossed the line many times. I have given him too many opportunities and he has thrown away each one of them. Until now, each time I tried to punish him, I remembered the times when we went fishing by the lake or the time you made me promise to help him with his career, but I now also remember what you told me the day you died. You told me to follow my instincts and trust my own judgment. I shall do so and I hope I am doing the right thing."

12.

Richard was ecstatic when he received his cousin's letter and learned that Fitzwilliam was finally ready to take action against Wickham. He had been ready to throw the man into prison the moment he tried to take advantage of his ward, but Fitzwilliam's compassion and his fear of exposing Georgiana had stopped him. He knew that his cousin also felt that Wickham might change if given another opportunity, but the man would never learn and it was time for him to be kept away from polite society. He replied to his cousin's letter with a big smile on his face and headed to Hertfordshire to meet Colonel Foster and settle this once and for all.

June, 1812

Mr. Wickham never went to Brighton. He was apprehended in Meryton where his debts and debauchery became known as he was taken away. He did not leave gracefully, but yelling and complaining that there was a mistake. The whole community was scandalised by the news, as it was the most shocking event in several decades! To have an officer in the militia accused of drinking, gambling, and enormous debts, and for him to be taken away in front of the whole of Meryton! Quite shocking, indeed!

The reactions from the Bennet family were as different as they could be. Mr. Bennet was not surprised, for he had read Mr. Darcy's letter and decided to reply... eventually. Mrs. Bennet exclaimed that she had always known that the man was too agreeable to be any good. No, indeed, she had always known he was a scoundrel—she had not—and thank the Lord she warned her own girls—she did not. Jane, who knew the contents of Mr. Darcy's letter to her sister could not believe that someone would be so bad. Mary was indifferent to Mr. Wickham's fate, but preached a whole sennight about accounting for one's sins. Kitty and Lydia were devastated and could not believe that such a handsome and charming man would be dishonest in any way. Lydia was sure he would have asked her to marry him soon and she was even more brokenhearted when she found that her father would not allow her to go to Brighton as Mrs. Foster's dear friend.

"If this has taught me something," her father had said, "is that officers are not to be trusted with my daughters. Better yet, no man shall approach you until you are mature enough to be trusted with one."

And Elizabeth... Elizabeth did not know what to feel. Her father had shown her Mr. Darcy's letter to her upon receiving it and had asked her about their interaction in Kent. She had been as truthful as she could while omitting Mr. Darcy's failed proposal. His letter, however, took her completely by surprise. There were certain parts of it that astonished her beyond belief. Phrases such as "the good people of Meryton," "a respected member of your community," "you have five beautiful daughters" showed none of the disdain and derision he had expressed in Hunsford towards her family and her neighbours. She particularly remembered the way her father had laughed at the phrase "full of liveliness and the innocence of youth" to describe Kitty and Lydia.

"How very diplomatic of him," Mr. Bennet had laughed. "Full of liveliness—that is to say, wild—and full of the innocence of youth—that is to say, silly and naive. I do admire a man who can put it so tactfully."

Still, Mr. Bennet had taken the warning more seriously than he had taken her plea not to send Lydia to Brighton and upon reading the letter, he decided that his youngest daughter was not ready to travel unchaperoned and that both Kitty and Lydia would not be allowed to go anywhere without at least one of their elder sisters until they started behaving like ladies. He also threatened that if he heard more whining, they would not be considered to be "out" anymore and he would send them back to the schoolroom.

Elizabeth was even more puzzled by Mr. Darcy's references to her as Mr. Bennet's "excellent" daughter and someone whose judgement he trusted. His regret and apology for having offended the Bennets and their community was particularly shocking, for she never would have thought that a man as proud as Mr. Darcy would recognise a mistake and apologise for it. He had even acknowledged that he was proud and reserved and that Mr. Wickham was his responsibility. Moreover, he had admitted the whole truth to her father so her sisters would be protected and had removed the danger not only from Meryton but from society altogether by sending him to prison, for she did not doubt that Mr. Wickham's removal had been Mr Darcy's doing. She could not blame him for this decision, especially after what the man had done to his sister and, if the rumours that started circulating lately were true, to several young women in the area.

Mr. Darcy's tone of regret and respect for her family and neighbours was so different from what she had expected from him that she could not but feel remorse for the way she had spoken to him. She did not regret turning down his proposal, for she could not be happy with such a serious and aloof man who might disdain her aunt and uncle in trade or who would not be willing to laugh and tease her back, but she needn't have treated him so cruelly.

Was this change because of her? Was he heeding her criticism? After all, she had accused him of stealing Mr. Wickham's living and separating Mr. Bingley from Jane.

"My friend, Mr. Bingley, shall reopen Netherfield, if he is not there already."

Had he sent Mr. Bingley back to Meryton? Jane had told her how Mr. Bingley had apologised profusely for his abandonment the year before and had explained that he thought her indifferent. He had made no mention of Mr. Darcy until Jane asked him what had prompted him to come back and he replied that his friend had implied that they might have been wrong about their assumptions. Elizabeth had to tell Jane everything then. She had omitted the part about her so as not to hurt her sister even more, but now that Mr. Bingley had asked, and received, Jane's hand in marriage, she saw no impediment and confessed everything. Unsurprisingly, Jane was not angry with Mr. Darcy and argued that he was only protecting his friend from heartache.

Elizabeth realised that she now had nothing to hold against him. He had admitted he was wrong, apologised as best he could and fixed his mistakes. She was thrilled with the result, for now, Jane shone with happiness and joy and her youngest sisters were safe. He had done all this and had not even asked for recognition. He could not even know that Mr. Bennet would show her his letter.

She knew that by now, and after such a cruel rejection of his hand, he could not possibly love her anymore, and although she did not dislike him now, she was still apprehensive when her aunt's letter arrived announcing that Mr. Gardiner's business would not allow them time away to visit all the lake country and so they would have to settle with Derbyshire. She hoped she could enter his county with impunity and she prayed that she would not see him. Such a meeting could only be awkward for both parties. Having settled to think of him only with kindness and gratefulness for his thoughtful actions, she now determined not to think of him at all and enjoy the prospect of her trip with her favourite relatives before she returned to Hertfordshire for Jane's wedding.

Fitzwilliam wished he could describe what he was feeling now. On the one hand, Wickham's arrest had brought feelings of both satisfaction and pain. He wished it could have been different but he could not regret his decision, for it had been Wickham who condemned himself by his actions in Hertfordshire. He had given him one last chance to prove him wrong when he sent Mr. Greene but he had received the same results.

On the other hand, Bingley's letter announcing his engagement to Miss Bennet brought him much joy for his friend but he could not deny, at least to himself, that he also felt envy. Bingley had been forgiven and now had the woman of his dreams while Fitzwilliam woke up every day looking for a wife that would never come to be. The steps he had taken towards redemption had distracted him a little from his despair, but now that almost everything had been resolved, the only thing left for him to do was to become a better man. He would be less judgmental, more open, sociable and amiable to strangers. He was determined to rid himself of his pride and arrogance, but he would have to do so without Elizabeth and the realisation that she would never be a part of his life was overwhelming.

He had imagined so much. He thought, in Rosings, that by now he would be a married man, walking up next to the love of his life each morning, spending his days showing her their home and introducing her to their tenants, seeing her relationship with Georgiana grow each day, seeing her eyes sparkle with wit, holding her in his arms all night, and hearing her teasing remarks and joyful laughter. She would have brought life and joy to Pemberley and to him. He had imagined nights sitting with her by the fireplace, telling her stories about his childhood and listening to her own, holding her close to his chest and kissing her forehead before he took her in his arms and carried her to their bed. He had imagined their children, lively and handsome, curious and impertinent... just like her.

Now he was facing the consequences of his actions, of his presumption and arrogance. He remembered the time when he woke up from his nightmare, the one in which he had refused to take Elizabeth's hand and ran back into Netherfield, and thought that she was probably suffering as much as he was. He thought she had been disappointed he had left Hertfordshire, that she had been waiting for him and wishing he would come back. The presumption! He could barely believe now that he had once been so arrogant as to think that a woman who loathed him was actually in love with him.

He wondered what it would be like, what it would feel like to be loved by her. She was so loyal and devoted to her family that he could hardly imagine a wife who felt so much for him. Knowing that he would never know was like having his heart ripped out from his chest over and over again.

By now, he knew that he would always love her. No one would ever compare to her and it was not fair for him to do so. He needed to get this from his chest. He needed to say out loud that he had made a decision, but he could not speak about this with Georgiana. And suddenly he knew what he had to do.

He informed Georgiana of Bingley's nuptials and told her he would visit the family cemetery. Georgina was surprised, both by his visit and his mentioning this to her, but he needed to say this out loud, just in case he was right. She asked if he wanted her to go with him and he told her that perhaps next time. This time, he needed to do this alone.

Lady Anne and Mr. Darcy had heard Fitzwilliam when he declared his intention to visit the family cemetery and knew that their son was to visit them. Since the cemetery was within Pemberley grounds, they attempted to follow him and were relieved to discover they could.

It was extremely shocking for them to see their own graves with their names and dates of birth and death. They were glad that their physical bodies were resting side by side but it was a sight they would certainly never forget. They were touched by Fitzwilliam's gesture of bringing flowers with him and laying them down on their graves, but they were anxious to see what his purpose had been.

After putting the flowers down, Fitzwilliam sighed and sat down on the ground in between his parents' graves. He had visited them rarely, for it was still too painful and he could not even remember the last time he had sat on the ground.

Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne watched their son and felt his pain deeply. He had lost weight since they had first seen him in November and the circles under his eyes showed how little he was sleeping at night. He looked so defeated and exhausted that it broke their hearts.

"I remember you once told me, Father, when I was a young boy, that a gentleman does not sit on the ground," he smiled faintly. "I hope you shall forgive me this time."

Mr. Darcy smiled at the memory and could not help but sit close to him. Lady Anne looked at him quite surprised before she decided to join her husband and son.

"It is not as if someone shall see us in this undignified position," she said.

"I am sorry I do not visit you more often, but it is still painful to be here. I have the feeling that lately... I might be losing my mind," Fitzwilliam sighed, "but I have the feeling that you are at Pemberley. The angel, the diary, the dream... I do not know if you are truly there or here or if you can hear me now, but I must say this. I must tell you something that will probably disappoint you. It is a long story and, if you have been at Pemberley, then, perhaps you know most of it, but the truth is that I fell in love with a wonderful woman—a woman who has everything I could have asked for in a wife and some other traits that I did not even know I wanted or needed. She is intelligent, lively, witty, and kind. She gives her opinions freely and is confident and brave enough to stand her ground to anyone, even Aunt Catherine, and even myself.

"I met a lady who I once thought could only exist in my dreams. And instead of recognising that I had come across a woman in a million—one who does not hide her laughter or shy away from debate, one who has not been stained by the ton's superficial and egotistical ideals—I put my pride before my own heart. I let the opinion of the ton, of people I do not even care about, stop me from pursuing my happiness. And while I struggled and fought my feelings, which were the most natural thing in the world, I offended and insulted not only her, but everyone she loves. It made me wonder... if I have been so selfish and cruel to the woman I love, then my behaviour to everyone else must have been completely abhorrent. She called me ungentlemanly and I realise now that I have been nothing but offensive from the moment we met until the last time I saw her.

"I am trying to be better, to fix the mistakes I have made and to be less judgemental to those who are not from my sphere. I know I have lost her forever, for she loathes me and she is quite right to do so. But I shall honour my love for her, and my love for you, by being the man you have raised me to be and a man she could have loved and accepted.

"But... I am here to tell you that I cannot marry. I have argued with myself for weeks now, for I know it is my duty to provide an heir. I tried to imagine how my life would be if I select a beautiful, wealthy and well-connected lady from the ton and pretend I do not love another and I found that I cannot do it. I cannot betray my love for Elizabeth like that and I cannot force another woman to live under her shadow. Most importantly, I cannot live a lie. Marrying for convenience would have been an easy option a year ago but it is completely impossible for me to do so now that I have met the love of my life.

"I shall make Georgiana my heiress and one of her children can inherit. This, of course, I shall not tell anyone but my solicitor. I would not make her a bigger target when she comes out. I know you must be disappointed that the future Master of Pemberley shall not be a Darcy, but I simply cannot."

Lady Anne sighed and put her palm on her son's cheek as she watched her husband rest his hand over his son's. She wished she could take him in her arms and tell him that there was nothing she would not do to ensure his happiness.

Fitzwilliam was suddenly overcome by a wave of warmth and love so intense that he almost started crying.

"It is all my fault," Fitzwilliam said, his voice low and carrying so much emotion that it broke. "I spent months conflicted unnecessarily, for she would not have accepted me either way. I did not wish to offend my family name and lineage, and now I have destroyed both. It shall all end with me."

These words triggered a blinding revelation. It was so sudden and so overwhelming that Lady Anne gasped and startled back. She would have fallen down had she been standing. Mr. Darcy held her arms and exclaimed:

"Anne! What is it?"

"Pemberley and the Darcys are connected even after death, are we not?" Lady Anne whispered. Her eyes were looking beyond her son as if she could not see anything.

"Clearly," her husband replied, motioning with his hand between them.

"A Darcy has been the Master of Pemberley ever since it was built. We have been thinking about this the wrong way! Pemberley and Darcys, they are one and the same! Fitzwilliam is the only male Darcy left and he shall be the last one!"

As Fitzwilliam's words resonated in their minds, a look of comprehension finally crossed Mr. Darcy's face.

I did not wish to offend my family name and lineage, and now I have destroyed both. It shall all end with me.

"This is not about Pemberley's downfall, but the Darcy's."

I do not own any Pride and Prejudice properties, nor do I make any money from the writing of this story.

Characters and situations, created by Jane Austen, are taken from Pride and Prejudice and from the Pride and Prejudice (1995) adaptation created by Simon Langton and distributed by BBC.

This story is released under the GPL/CC BY: verbatim copying and distribution of this entire work are permitted worldwide, without royalty, in any medium, provided attribution is preserved.