Chapter Nine: Lover's Spit
" all these people drinking lover's spit
swallowing words while giving head
they listen to teeth to learn how to quit
but they take some hands and get used to it… "
Julian took him all the way to the Brownstones. Doorside lamps lit their way inside and up the stairwell, going to the very top of the four story building. Up here was the half-unfinished top floor of the Brownstones that hadn't any inhabitants - well, at least any permanent ones. "What's up here?" Michael asked. Julian just continued down a dimly lit hallway, decorated by glow-in-the-dark neon paint splatters.
"You'll see."
Untrusting, but curious, Michael followed.
The first thing Michael heard was music. At the other end of the floor was a large open space, decorated in streamers and overhead artificial blue and purple lights and splashes of the same neon paint from the hall. Plastic tarps lined the floor and sheets hung from the walls, neon designs adorning them, surrounding a cluster of people who looked to all be around his age; they sat spread around on chairs, a sofa, some random furniture that somehow fitted the room's aesthetic. Michael recognized some of them as onlookers of the fight yesterday.
"Welcome to Neon Heaven," Julian grinned, stretching out her arms as she strode into the room. "Guys, this is Michael."
The group, made up of four other young adults, all gave their own hellos. Michael waved in response, a bit sheepishly, and he followed Julian and sat at a small armchair by himself. In the middle of the group was a big, blue lamp that could have been a campfire of sorts. Looking across from him, Michael realized Noah was there, too - someone else must have brought him along. He looked as uncomfortable as Michael probably felt.
"Michael," Julian said, taking a seat at a topaz-blue sofa, "this is Adrian-"
A younger guy, closest to Michael's age, ran a hand over his afro and smiled. "Sup."
"Paola-"
An asian girl with dyed blonde hair, sitting with her legs on Adrian's, lifted up a hand and wiggled her fingers at Michael. "Hey, hon!"
"And Higgs."
A pale guy with buzzed hair held up a hand. In the dim light, Michael saw that a patch of the left side of his face was darkened red, as if someone had dripped wine across his cheek - once Michael realized it was a birthmark, he looked away. In a brief moment of clarity he remembered Higgs being one of the onlookers of the fight. Had they all seen it? Did they think that Michael or the others had somehow instigated it?
"And you obviously already know Noah."
Paola got up from the couch, twirling around and swinging her hips back and forth to the music. "Do you dance, Michael?" she asked. He shrugged.
"Not really."
"Well you're boring," she said, and though Michael knew it was a tease it didn't much feel like it.
"Don't mind Pao," Julian said, biting the rim of a cup that had somehow materialized in her hand. "She's had a bit too much to drink."
Paola gasped. "Have not!"
"O-kay…"
"Anyways!" Adrian clapped his hands together. "Onto fun things. Noah, Michael - tell us about yourselves."
Michael blanked. He met eyes with Noah across the room and he looked just as awkward as Michael felt.
"Well…" Noah said first, sparing Michael the embarrassment of tripping over his own words, "I'm from Richmond. Grew up in one of those brick-fenced, gated communities, went to school, watched the world end from the living room window."
Julian sat on the floor in front of the couch, and almost immediately Higgs had reached down to start playing with her hair, as if it were second nature. Michael figured they were together, for some reason. He poured wine into a solo cup and sipped from it, pulling his feet up onto the armchair.
"Home of the Kickers," Adrian said.
Noah smiled tightly.
"Michael?" Paola asked. "What about you?"
He drank more wine and forced a shrug off his shoulders. "Not much to tell. I'm… just a regular guy."
That was who he was trying to be. Someone that blended into a crowd; someone who was unnoticeable. Talking to so many people in one night was exhausting him, and a part of him felt like shrinking into the cushions of the arm chair.
Yet he didn't.
"Well how do y'all like it here so far? Alexandria?"
"It's good," Noah said. Michael nodded along with him.
"Big."
The night went on. Conversations continued. Michael drank, the moon passed over the sky. The more he sipped on the wine and continued refilling his cup, the less he wanted to leave and the more he wanted to stay. He'd had too much alcohol to be worried about much of anything
"But where are y'all from?" Noah asked, glancing around their new friends.
Are we all friends now? Michael thought, finishing off his third cup.
"Halifax," Paola sing-songed as she plopped onto a seat beside Adrian.
"Virginia Beach, baby," Adrian said.
"Higgs and I are from Somerset, in Kentucky," came from Julian, who had her head rested against Higgs's knee.
"So you guys were dating before?" Michael asked, the cup pressed against his lip, and Paola let out a laugh. Julian snickered, Adrian grinned and even Higgs had a tiny smile on his face. Michael's face started to burn.
"What?" he asked, suddenly self conscious and nervous and shy all over again.
"Higgs is my foster brother," Julian explained. Michael felt his cheeks get warm.
"Oh… right."
"Don't worry," Higgs said, the first thing Michael had heard from him all night - in a surprisingly deep southern drawl. "People thought the same back when we got here."
"Then when we said we were siblings…" Julian laughed. "Man, you shoulda seen the looks on their faces."
The music faded away with his embarassment as Michael nodded. For a moment, it was silent, until a new song started.
"Alright, ladies and gents, how about a game of truth or dare?" Adrian said, slipping down from the couch and sitting on the floor. Paola twisted, turning herself upside down with her legs on the back of the couch, her long hair splayed out over the cushions. Michael shrugged and the others gave their own yeses and nods of approval.
Adrian smiled. "Julian?"
"Truth," Julian said. She sipped from a bottle of beer, then finished it off before tossing it across the rug.
"Out of everyone in the room, who's the first person you'd sacrifice to save the others?"
Julian thought for a moment. "Myself, I guess."
"Can't be yourself…"
"Then you, Adrian," Julian said, smiling at him sarcastically.
"Oh, my heart."
"My turn." Julian looked around the room before her eyes settled on Paola.
"Truth or dare, babe."
"Dare!"
It went on like this for a few minutes - Paola drank a mix of vodka, Blue Moon and fireball, Noah told them his greatest fear (getting torn apart by the dead, after which everyone drank some more), Adrian shouted - well, rather slurred - curses into the Alexandria night, and Higgs said that Noah was his least favorite person in the room.
"No offense," Higgs said, "I just… y'know. Don't know you yet."
Noah shrugged and Michael could tell he wasn't too bothered by it. Or maybe he was too drunk to notice - was he even drunk?
"Michael," came his name. He looked up. Higgs and the others watched him expectantly.
"Yeah?"
"Truth or dare?" Higgs asked.
His palms itched. The fire in his belly bit him.
"Truth."
Higgs pulled his knee up and wrapped an arm around it.
"Worst thing you ever done?"
That was the moment Michael decided that he wanted to disappear inside himself. He was going to snap his fingers and bend his body so that the others couldn't see him - they would wonder where he went but would forget, eventually.
Possible answers to that question darted around his skill. A greasy hand squeezed his spine.
I killed someone who didn't deserve it.
I didn't kill someone who deserved it.
I didn't save my girlfriend.
And finally,
I let my brother die, and turn, and never put him down.
Michael smiled, broken and trembling, then stood up. "It's getting late. I should go."
Before they could protest, he turned and left and didn't even bother to grab his wine.
The trip downstairs was quick - he passed the neon paint, through other unfinished rooms and apartments, until he was leaving through the small lobby doors and down the brownstone steps.
Just as he got to the darkened street, the door behind him opened and someone called out, "Wait!"
Michael froze. He fought the urge to keep going. For some reason, he did wait, despite it being Higgs who'd yelled for him.
"Hey," he said, jogging up to him, stopping just two feet short of barreling into Michael like a lanky quarterback. "Look- I'm sorry 'bout that. I… I shouldn't've asked you that question. It ain't mine or nobody else's place. I'm not the smartest when it comes to… people stuff."
Higgs stood taller than Michael by a lot - probably six or seven inches - but somehow he felt equal to him now. Maybe it was the liquor. Maybe it was the real remorse on Higgs's face, and the way he held himself under the cold moonlight.
"It's… fine," Michael finally said. He didn't really know if it was, but this felt like the right thing to say.
"No, I-"
"Really," he interrupted. He was tired. Drunk, maybe. Probably. Ready for bed. "Don't worry about it."
Higgs's shoulders slumped a bit, but Michael pretended not to notice it.
"I'm guessin' you won't be comin' back if I asked?"
Michael shook his head. "I should head back to the house. Don't want the others to worry too much."
Higgs looked like he wanted to say something else. The door opened again; Noah came out this time. Higgs locked eyes with him one last time.
"I'm sorry, again. Y'all have a good night."
Michael nodded. His stomach stirred. Higgs went back into the Brownstones and Noah joined him out on the road.
"Hey," Noah stuffed his hands into his pockets. "You okay?"
He shrugged. Michael felt warmth spread through his body, course down one leg faster than the other, and he turned to leave for home. Noah followed.
"What do you think of them?" Michael asked after a couple of minutes, kicking at a pebble. It must have been past midnight - Deanna's house was dark as they passed it, with nobody else in sight. Michael wondered if they would get reprimandings when they got home.
"I think… they're cool. Fun. Paola and Adrian are… a bit much."
Michael laughed.
"Yeah. Paola is something."
"Julian, though. She's cute."
"She is," Michael said. It felt weird, talking like this, like they were just two friends walking down the road after a night of drinking and stupid party games. A dog barked somewhere in Alexandria and Michael jumped.
"She talked about you a lot."
"Julian?"
Noah shook his head.
"Nah, man. Beth."
Michael ignored the ache that pulsed in his chest at the mention of her name.
"Back at Grady," Noah continued, "she mentioned y'all a few times - but definitely you. Said she was gonna fight to see all of you again." Noah looked up at the sky, then back down as if something had caught his eye.
"She was pretty stubborn," Michael muttered.
"Yeah," Noah said, his voice airy and thick with intoxication. "She was."
They finally arrived at 101 and 99. Both houses had rooms that were still lit, though for the most part, they were dark and most of the tenants had probably gone to sleep. Noah parted away from Michael as he made his way to the steps of 101.
"See you tomorrow, Mich."
"You, too. Eat a tomato, by the way - it'll help with the hangover."
Noah raised an eyebrow. "Good to know. G'Night."
"Night."
Noah went in. Michael continued all the way to 99, went up the steps, then had the door open when he saw a familiar silhouette pressed against the porch railing.
"You weren't at the party," Michael said, turning to face Daryl. He was smoking, a knee pulled up as an armrest for his elbow. Daryl let smoke puff out from his nose before blowing away the rest. Michael went to go sit beside him.
"Wasn't my thing."
"Yeah," Michael exhaled. "Me neither."
Beyond the smell of cigarette smoke, he caught a whiff of something else; shampoo? Cologne that wasn't his own? Michael realized that Daryl had gotten ready for the party. He'd showered and dressed up enough to be called presentable, but he hadn't even walked through the front door.
Michael considered asking him why.
"You got back late," Daryl said.
"Sorry…"
Daryl shook his head. "Don't be."
The air around them moved, or maybe it was just Michael's head swimming.
"What if I can't do this?" he said, parting the silence and pulling his knees up to his chest. "There's… so much here. Too much. What if-"
"You can," Daryl interrupted. He looked at Michael. "You will."
Michael let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"Okay."
" You know it's time
That we grow old and do some shit
I like it all that way
I like it all that way… "
Notes: wanted to clarify that this version of the song is a cover by Chris Rubeo. freaking love it. i have specific people in my head that i'm kinda basing a couple of these new character's off, and if anyone's curious i'm welcome to tell you in private messages. for now i'd rather let y'all imagine it. :)
bunches of love, always.
-damp