Chapter eleven: Hidden truth

The bedroom Alicia was occupying hadn't been used in a long time. Large clouds of dust were floating around. She woke up with a cough and decided to air the room out. It was a rainy day in London, like many others. But the fresh morning rain did wonders for the stuffy room.

She looked around at the books, the closet that was mostly empty, the desk with a couple of scrolls and writing equipment still present and the posters on the wall. After a while she realised it was Sirius' younger brother who had lived here. Regulus Black. She found the name in a journal. A little over a year ago, when she had been living with Remus, they had looked at photo albums. That was when Alicia found out about Sirius his brother. Remus told her best not to ask too much about him. It was still painful for Sirius to think about Regulus.

Charles, who was curled up in a corner, yawned and got to his feet. Alicia sat down on the floor to pet and hug him. Charles never judged her. Charles would always love her unconditionally.

'Charles, I'm giving up on people. From now on you are the only one I care about,' she told him as her face sank in his fur. Charles licked her cheek and she couldn't help smiling. Then she sat up and looked in his mesmerizing eyes. Sometimes she could forget that Charles wasn't a dog, but the eyes reminded her what he really was.

'Yeah, I know. I don't sound very convincing,' she said with a sigh. 'At some point I'm going to have to get out of this room. But what do I do? Ignore everyone and just eat? I can't do that forever. Should I leave? Now that Remus and I are completely done, should we go home? I miss Romania. The mountains, the woods, the dragons of course…'

Charles whined and pushed his nose to her forehead. Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

'Why do I screw everything up Charles? Why am I so bad at keeping people close? I want…' She stopped talking to sob quietly. That was the problem. Alicia had no idea what she wanted.

Almost an hour passed by as Alicia did nothing but cry in her room. Her mind tried to make sense of everything, but most of the memories were too painful. Everything Remus had shouted yesterday…it was too much. It constantly threw her in a new crying fit.

Dinner was the first meal of the day Alicia attended. She had cried her eyes dry, and had no more to give. It was time to get some food. When she stood in the doorway to the dining room, everyone stopped their conversation to look up at her.

'Hey Nessie, haven't seen you since yesterday. Did you get Kreacher to bring food to your room? We've been trying to get him to do that,' Fred said. It occurred to her that her shouting match had not reached everyone.

'Uhm no. I haven't been hungry,' Alicia lied. 'Molly do you need help in the kitchen?'

The woman in question just walked in, a steaming oven dish in her gloved hands. 'No dear! Everything is ready. You look pale, you should eat something.'

Alicia sat down as far away from Remus and Sirius as she could. Across from her were Fred and George, the rest of the family in the middle. After a long moment of staring at her plate Alicia dared to look around. She was curious who had listened in yesterday. Did anyone else now know about them? Did Harry, Ginny and Ron? Hermione already knew of course, and finally Alicia understood that that was the reason for her hostility. Since yesterday Hermione was in the house with both Remus and her, and during dinner they had been quite close.

At this point, no one was looking at her. Only George kept glancing at her, but not in the way she feared.

Just one more evening, she told herself.

'Did you sleep well Alicia?' Arthur asked. 'We didn't really have time to clean up the room yet. I hope it wasn't too bad.'

Oblivious to the state she went to bed in, Arthur seemed more concerned with the dust and mould. Alicia tried to smile. 'It was fine, thank you.'

'We can help to get rid of the doxys tomorrow if you want. I want to try a new spell that might or might not cause them to pop like a soap bubble,' George said with a wicked grin. Fred poked him in the side. 'Oh come on, you know Nessie doesn't want to harm creatures, even pests. Stupid idea George.'

'Actually,' Alicia said louder than she intended, 'It won't be necessary. I am leaving tonight.'

'Back to your apartment?' Molly asked. She looked quite hurt that Alicia didn't want to stay with her family.

'No. Back home. To the Sanctuary.'

'NO.'

Everyone's head turned around to Sirius, sitting at the head of the table. He slammed his hand down. 'No Alicia. You are not running away again. Face your problems for once.'

This got her in a state. She pushed the chair back and stood so she could look down on the rest. 'You are not the boss of me Sirius!'

Now he stood too. 'No, I'm not. You should be. But because you are so incompetent at making decisions, I'm making them for you. It is time you get things cleared up. Everything,' he said while looking over at the twins.

Alicia's face turned tomato-red. 'I'm leaving.'

A couple of things happened at once. First, Sirius took out his wand. At this sight Alicia took out hers. Remus got up and tried to block Sirius from doing anything, but he got his jinx in anyway under Remus' arm. Alicia was hit with a binding spell that strapped her to her chair. During all of this, Charles had jumped on the table and was now biting Sirius' arm.

'Ahh! Get him off me!'

'Sirius Orion Black you son of a bitch! Let me go!'

'Alicia! Call back your dog now!'

If everyone could just CALM DOWN!'

It was Remus who had shouted at last. He had ceased Charles around his neck and wrestled him to the ground. Then he tied him up with a magic rope to the wall. Charles continued to bark but Remus put a soundproof bubble around him. Sirius was holding his injured arm out and staring at it in bewilderment. Remus tried to heal him.

'That won't work,' Charlie said with a dark expression. 'The wounds will stay and scar.'

He got up and helped to get Sirius some ointment that helped with the bleeding.

'What do you mean? It's just a dog. Or…cat,' Sirius said annoyed.

Charlie sighed deeply. 'Oh come on! Look at Alicia for once. She is the closest anyone can come to being a dragon! Obviously she brought one with her.'

'That dog is a transfigured dragon?!' Remus asked, looking only at Charlie.

'The only one that could ever be held as a pet. But you should have stopped him from attacking Sirius Fata foc!' Charlie shouted in her direction.

'Then he shouldn't have attacked me. Speaking of which, who is going to release me? I'll take my dragon personality and my dragon pet out of this house,' she spat back.

Sirius pushed Charlie aside and stepped around the table to Alicia. 'Absolutely not. You are going to apologize.'

Her eyes went twice as big. 'Excuse me? To who, you?'

'No. You are going to start with Fred and George.'

No one in the room had expected that. Fred and George first looked at each other, then at Alicia.

'For what, Nessie?'

'Yeah, what did you do?'

Her eyes were on Sirius only. The tension in the room was palpable. 'I hate you.'

He didn't seem fazed. 'Come on, we are waiting.'

Alicia considered listening. She was bound, both by ropes and by expectations from people she called friends. She calmed herself down with some deep breaths. 'Fine. But in private.'

'No. You've had enough chances at private. And your behaviour is so erratic that everyone here now knows about it. So, spit it out.' Sirius was looking more and more like a father figure, or an older brother. She hadn't seen this side of him yet. Usually he was chaotic, funny and mischievous. In the end she realised he was doing this because he cared about her. That thought pushed her on to say what she should have said a while ago.

'Alright fine,' she said with a much calmer voice. She looked around and grimaced at the thought that everyone would know her embarrassing secrets from now on. Arthur, Molly, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Hermione and Charlie had nothing to do with this situation. They shouldn't be in the room. On top of that, Remus didn't know this thing either. 'But at least release me. I won't run. I promise.'

Sirius released her without a second thought. Alicia leaned forward on the table and looked at Fred and George.

'Boys, I have a confession to make. Before I came back to London, I had hoped you two would have talked this out already, but it seems you haven't. Do you remember the party at the Gryffindor tower last year, after Harry got through the first task of the Triwizard Tournament?' Her voice was steady, even analytic. She tried to say this as simply as she could.

'Of course,' Fred said proudly while George said: 'Hard to forget.'

'Well,' there was no going back now. She looked them in the eye in turns, 'I kissed you both that night. Or well, you both kissed me.'

One huge balloon in her stomach had deflated. One huge burden finally dropped. At this point she was even past shame. It was also not funny anymore. It was personal and serious.

'What?' Fred whispered. He tried to look at his brother but couldn't.

Alicia reached out and clasped her hands over Fred's. 'I have been aware of the crush you had on me for many years at school,' she started, ignoring his growing discomfort. 'And it is very flattering and sweet. At a certain point I even considered dating you. But then I met someone else. I'm sorry I ran away with your feelings for so long. It was not fair to you. And I shouldn't have kissed you at that party. But at that moment I was alone and…well I was weak. I regret not being more honest with you. I hope you can forgive me.'

Another silence stretched, or maybe Ron was whispering something to Harry. But it was too soft to hear what he said. Fred blinked many times, trying to compose himself. Then he smiled weakly. 'I knew you weren't interested. But I just couldn't stop trying. You kept being so…amazing.'

Alicia laughed softly. 'Thanks.' Then she let him go and turned to George. 'As for you, I'm sorry too. I must admit your confession came as a surprise to me that evening. I hadn't been aware of your crush. I always saw you both as funny good friends that I enjoy hanging out with. I hope we can still be that, even if it takes some time.'

George seemed more easily back to his joking self. 'Oh of course we can. I didn't know my brother here had kissed you too that night, and come to think of it; it is strange we never figured that out about each other. But for me it was more of a heat-of-the-moment thing. Sure I always admired you, but maybe I laid the feelings on a bit too thick that time. I'm sorry for kissing you too.'

Alicia took a deep breath. 'That is really good to hear. So uh…you aren't angry with me or each other?'

Fred finally looked at George. 'Well, I can't say I like hearing this. But you were never my girlfriend so I can't claim you or anything. We good?'

'Sure,' George said while they shook hands. Alicia felt good watching them.

'Now, was that so hard?' Sirius said with a smirk on his face.

Her smile faltered right away. Her face went blank as she got up slowly to round the table towards him. When she was in front of him he seemed a bit nervous. Good.

'You shouldn't have forced me to do that. Not in front of so many people that have nothing to do with this. I want to punch you in the face,' she told him. Not really angry, but just very honest.

'I think you have already done that enough,' said Remus.

He had walked around the table too, hands in his pockets. Sirius was standing between the two for now, but he smiled and stepped aside. When Alicia looked at her former professor, she noticed the bruise around his nose. He could have fixed that. He had chosen to keep the bruise.

Alicia opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly all the words she wanted to say seemed miles away from her. Her mind was working overtime now. She was in a calm state, not emotional. And in this – forced by Sirius – calm state, every little detail seemed to be so pointless. All the bullshit, all the tiny feelings were melting like snow in the sun. Finally, she could look past it to see what she wanted.

I want him.

Even after the hours of crying she had done, she managed to shed more tears. Her lip quivered before it turned into a smile and her entire face softened as she opened herself up.

Remus, who was standing a couple of meters away from her, seemed to be going through a similar process. His mind was doing the same deductions, and he mirrored her smile.

'I'm so sorry,' she said.

'Me too,' he replied.

His hands left his pockets just in time to receive the girl that was jumping in his arms. She crashed into him but he kept standing. She buried her face in his neck and held him tightly to her. His arms circled around her waist where they felt good and familiar. Both of them were crying silent tears of joy.

Sirius and Charlie bumped shoulders, both seeming relieved they had figured out their problems. Apart from these two, everyone was staring at the odd couple with utter shock.

'Are…are you two…' Ron said, his vocabulary failing him.

'Is this who you meant when you said you met someone else?' Fred asked.

'This is kind of disgusting and kind of sweet,' Ginny observed.

Hermione sighed deeply. 'Finally I won't be stuck with this secret I never wanted to know.'

Harry nodded. 'Now I know why I found you in the hallway at Hogwarts that one night. Boy am I glad I didn't check you on the Marauders map later that evening.'

After what felt like an eternity, Alicia and Remus loosened their grip on the other. She looked up in his eyes and finally recognized the man she fell in love with.

'I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out what I wanted. I…said so many things I shouldn't have. I have forgiven you. I just hope you can forgive me,' Alicia said breathless, ignoring everyone in the room.

Remus stroked some hair out of her face. 'I have forgiven you too. I feel like a fool for the things I shouted yesterday. It was all so untrue. Can we…move past it?'

She beamed up at him as she pulled him close for another hug. 'Yes please,' she whisper-laughed.

With her eyes closed, she enjoyed being in Remus' arms again. Then she felt another arm over her back.

'Finally, Moony and Nessie are back together. Now stop making me feel like the referee in the middle,' Sirius said as he hugged both of them.

All three laughed. 'Sorry Padfoot. Also sorry that Charles bit you. He is very protective over me.'

He kissed her on her head. 'Aren't we all?'

Another moment passed between the three, but then Alicia really had to look up at all the other people present. Everyone was still in their seats, either eating or staring.

It was Arthur who cleared his throat and tried to fix the situation. 'So, you two have been together before?'

'Since school,' Alicia said with a blush. She felt Remus' hand on her back and suddenly it wasn't all so terrifying anymore. She wasn't alone anymore.

Molly got up from her seat and moved into the kitchen without another word. Alicia looked sadly after her and was afraid the kind witch wasn't going to be so nice to her anymore. She knew not everyone was going to look past their age difference, and maybe it hit Molly harder because she had a son her age. Or maybe because she had also kissed two of her other sons.

'Well, I can't say it is too surprising,' George said in the end, looking up at the repaired couple. 'You were always looking for new challenges.' He winked and returned to his food.

'Oh please. Sometimes…I don't know. I guess I could look past status and societies expectations when I looked for…love,' Alicia said, sounding sure but uncomfortable.

'Awwh,' Ginny said while she leaned on her hand. 'Well I mean why not right? They do match.'

'They do,' Charlie said with a huge grin. 'I wish I could have told you that from the beginning, but you couldn't hear it back then.'

Alicia rolled her eyes. 'Yes, Charlie. I've been an idiot, alright? But hey, if I hadn't been an idiot I wouldn't have worked with you.'

'Very true,' he picked up his goblet, 'to these two idiots!'

They all toasted with different levels of enthusiasm. Remus and Alicia couldn't help awkwardly standing by and laughing.

Surprisingly, the conversation started again. About different topics than the both of them. Sirius released Charles, who seemed to have picked up that no one was hostile anymore. Sirius occupied himself with the dragon-dog while Charlie explained the story of how Alicia got a dragon as a pet. Hermione was set on changing the topic to whatever was available and had to settle with Quidditch. Arthur went into the kitchen to talk to his wife and the twins were joking around and making plans for their magical candys.

Within minutes, no one was paying attention to them anymore. Remus leaned closer to Alicia.

'Do you still want to eat or go up for some alone time?' he murmured in her ear.

His proximity to her made her feel warm inside. 'Let's go upstairs.'

The happy couple walked up the stairs, hand in hand.

At first it felt a bit awkward when Remus invited her to lay down next to him on his bed. They were fully clothed and she was sure neither of them had the intention of having sex straight away. She did lay down and he draped an arm around her, holding her close to him. They had cuddled like this many times when they were living together. Being back in his arms, smelling his familiar smell and seeing his familiar features gave her an overwhelming feeling of calmness.

'It's so strange,' she said softly. He made a questioning sound. 'Being here beside you…it almost feels like no time has passed at all.'

Remus stroked her arm. 'Yes and no. I get what you mean, but I don't think either of us will forget the time in the middle. It has a lot of impact on us. On the way our relationship will develop from here on.'

She nodded against his chest. The last rays of sunshine were streaming in through the windows, but most of the room was already dark. It was nothing like Remus' house. There the sunlight was as plentiful as you could get in England. His family home was a house far away from any cities. It was at the edge of a village, with a lush forest and rolling green hills everywhere. When she first saw it, it reminded her of a fairy-tale house. Like the witches house…or in this case; werewolves. Remus had built a cage inside a cave nearby. He would go there every full moon. Because the place was so remote he never had trouble there with people accidentally finding him.

The interior of the house was old-fashioned and odd. Remus was never one for buying new furniture, so most of it was picked by his grandparents or parents. Since he had been the only person living there, one room was still exactly the same as his room had been when he attended school. Then at some point when he inherited the house he had moved to the master bedroom, but had done little to change the room. In the time Alicia had lived there she had changed the house in subtle ways. She had brought some old clothes to the attic, had painted some walls and repaired broken items. Also she loved to have flowers and plants around. The whole house had gotten that little extra that a woman brings to home décor.

'I'm moving in here,' Alicia said after a long silence had stretched between them. She looked up to see his eyes. 'If you want me to, that is.'

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. 'Of course I want you to.'

'Can Charles come in this room too?' she asked, biting her lip. It was a bit manipulative, but she knew that usually helped to convince him to say yes.

Remus raised an eyebrow, but then realisation hit him. He laughed. 'For a moment I thought you meant Charlie. Ha ha!'

Alicia laughed too. 'Well obviously I named my pet after him. You should have seen his face! It still pisses him off. I love it.'

'Yes, your pet dragon can come in here too,' Remus assured her. 'I still want to know how you got yourself one.'

She smiled and got up. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stretched. 'I'll tell you everything. About Charles, about the Triwizard Tournament I helped with, about the secret boyfriend in Romania…'

'What?!' he sat up so quickly he nearly toppled over. Alicia couldn't help it. She burst out laughing.

'Okay sorry I just had to! I know you are still wondering if I ever found someone in Romania. It was too easy.' She continued laughing as she put her shoes on.

Remus got out of bed too. After she succeeded lacing up her boots she stood up and he was right in front of her. There was an amused smirk on his face. Alicia ran her thumb over his chin.

'I missed that smirk. And no, Remus. There was never anyone else. I wouldn't have admitted this before, but my head had always been full of you. I realise now that I missed you all that time. But I was too stubborn to admit it to myself.'

'I know how stubborn you can be,' he said with a low rough voice. His eyes went to her lips. She looked at him expectantly, and within a second he had decided to kiss her. His hands cupped her face and his lips found hers hungrily. She kissed him back with all the held back emotions she had had for all that time. It felt really good.

Alicia pulled back to catch her breath, but Remus wouldn't have it. His grip on her tightened and he crashed his lips back to hers. He made a soft whining sound, like he was begging her for more time. She obliged, kissing him back passionately. That's all they did for ten minutes, kissing each other to make up for lost time.

Eventually they broke apart. Alicia placed her head against his chest and kept him close in her arms. Remus seemed more than happy to hold her a bit longer. He laughed an airy laugh. 'Please tell me this is not a dream.'

She smiled. 'It's not.'

Hello users! As you may or may not know, I also post this story to AO3. Over there this story has a weekly response from a couple of people. I've given them the task to write 10 comments by 10 different users and if that succeeds I will upload 2 chapters next week! I will do the same here, but if you want to help out you can also comment on Archive of our Own. You can find the story under the same title and username. I'm curious if there is anyone on here that follows this story weekly as well :)