Sometimes she wants to jump and jump and jump
Being so full of joy
Of happiness
Of belonging
Sometimes she crouches in her room
Cursing the world for her hand of cards that she received from the deck
Shes depressed
Shes lonely
She's spiraling
Sometimes she wants the shouting to stop
To finally leave this hell loop that only happens when shes at her family's house
She wants them to stop screaming at her
She wants them to be proud of her
She wants them to care about her
Sometimes she feels the fire as it curls around her veins
Demanding acknowledgement and freedom in a world where she is silenced
She wants to be able to speak
She wants to be able to be alive without being madder than she's ever felt
She hates that its the emotion she can feel best
She begins to learn, with time, that emotions are not one category
She can be contemplative, or melancholy, or passionate
She wants to be able to express herself like everyone else
She wants to not be so different
She wants to not be so depressed most days
But she is learning,
And that is enough