Chapter Eleven

Dalish

(Trigger Warnings: Mild Talks of Suicidal thoughts)

We got a move on – most deciding they wanted to take care of Ostagar first before heading to the Dalish when I mentioned it was a planned stop, but I also mentioned it would be better to wait – I had a feeling we would need something there later that we couldn't get now. It took us 15 days to get from Redcliffe back to Lothering and from the decimated ruins of the once flourishing town to the Brecillian was another 4 days.

Aedan approached me the night before we got to the Dalish camp.

"If it helps… Lelianna really chewed me out for that stunt back at Redcliff…" Aedan said.

I glared and said, "That 'stunt' as you call it, could have ended in my second death, Aedan. I understand you being angry at me, I mean for fucks sake I even expected it, but an unknown Mage – an Apostate! – doing the ritual? If Greagoir had known I have no doubt I'd either be yanked to the tower where they'd torture me for any information I may possess causing them to keep torturing me when they learned I was a seer, or I'd have been killed outright. I'm 22 in body, and they would have assumed that I had magic for years, not months. The only reason Isolde and Teagan didn't say anything was because I'd spelled them not to say anything. I never expected it would be you. And then I don't even get an apology – you just assumed that things were okay between us just because I didn't scold you the next morning."

I knew everyone was listening. We had set up camp half an hour ago and I had been getting dinner started when he approached me.

I was making steaks tonight, because Alistair had requested it. I also made green beans and loaded mashed potatoes.

"I… Andraste's tits I'm sorry, Ara. What more can I do?" Aedan pleaded. I was feeling evil, and I saw Leli and Zev both smirk when they caught sight of my face.

"You can beg, preferably from on your knees. Alistair had to do just that when he pissed me off a few days after the Battle of Redcliff. He didn't do anything nearly as bad as you did, and I swear Aedan if I didn't consider you family I'd have already castrated you for what you did," I saw Alistair, Zev and Aedan all flinch as Sten voiced "That punishment does not fit the crime."

"Oh yes it does. Think about it Sten. He could have killed me with his careless words, which would have taken my future away. Taking away his future would be a fitting punishment," I said knowing my face was dark. Sten thought for a moment before he nodded.

"How did Alistair piss you off?" Lelianna was trying to defuse the situation.

"No." I said but Alistair answered, "I uh… I asked her why she chose me rather than someone more… deserving of her affection. She slapped me and proceeded to tell me several things that I don't think are possible of what I could do with my 'completely asinine opinion' and refused to speak to me again until I begged her to… to be fair, she didn't ask me to beg on my knees, I just kind of… did. And it was only a 2 hour span between the fight and the apology."

I sighed. "I told him he could shove that opinion up his ass and fart diamonds and he'd still be just as wrong…"

There were several laughs as I began serving food to everyone.

Wynne cleared her throat – changing the subject with, "Did you really ride a dragon?" Wynne asked.

"No, but…" I sighed and magically changed my long sleeved top for a backless halter-top – actually, I loved the cold air on my skin and only wore a long-sleeve because Alistair had been jealous that Zev kept looking at me.

Wings burst from my back, causing shock from all but Alistair and Zev – the two who had been there that day. I actually thought they were kind of cute – they looked delicate and were transparent here in the 'waking' world.

I loved how they looked like what an angel would have – feathered and so soft. The only thing that troubled me was the length. Each individual wing was seven feet long from joint to tip.

That made my wingspan a total of 14 and a half feet from tip to tip. Sten looked interested and actually came over to examine them. "They look as though they wouldn't hold up a child but feel as though they could lift a Dragon…" he had given them a tug and I held back a flinch of pain.

Alistair actually knew just how sensitive my wings were – I had slept with them out one night and wrapped around us… a bit more difficult than books and movies describe since Alistair had to sleep without more than smallclothes for it to be comfortable – the leathers and metals in his daily clothes hurt and pulled at my feathers.

He rubbed gently at the spot where the wing connected to my back, causing the others to look at me in confusion, "Why…?"

Alistair sighed at Aedans' question, "Because her wings are rather… sensitive."

I coughed, "In both good and bad ways, actually. Fen loves when he receives head pats, and I love having my feathers stroked. The flip side is that the slightest tug feels like I just got into a catfight where some bitch yanked my hair right out of my skull."

Leliana giggled at that analogy. "How do you have wings – and why did Alistair know about them but not us?" Aedan pouted.

"How am I supposed to know how I have wings, Aedan? This shit ain't possible in my world either! Honestly, am I even an elf? At this point I think I'm some new species. I have wings, magic that's unlike mages, and I still don't know how I even got to Thedas in the first place. Alistair and Zevran know about the wings because they were there when the damn things popped out of my back three days before you returned to Redcliffe from the circle."

Morrigan spoke smoothly, "It is most likely that you are some new species – one that is not an elf, but similar enough. It would certainly explain why you cannot call yourself one – because you cannot lie."

Alistair looked amused, "You can't… I thought you had called yourself…"

"No – I say things like I look like one and I am supposedly one. That's the thing about not being able to tell an untruth – you learn to bend the truth until people make assumptions… then you don't correct them. I know how to do it quite well – there were tales of a race that couldn't lie but would still trick you like that. For example – Hi, my name is Abigail Anderson."

Aedan caught it first, "That was your name before Thedas?"

"Uh-huh – so I can tell you it's my name because technically, it is. I'm Ara now only because I chose that name as my new name upon my 'rebirth'. Not sure why I picked that name, but there you have it. I can tell someone my name is Abigail if I need to introduce myself with a 'false' name. I could even use the last name of Campos because that was my maiden name."

"But what is your title?" Sten asked – he wanted to know what to call me. I blanked, "Uh… the thing that pops into my head first isn't a Qunari title, but it's about the same rank as Arishok, Ariqun or Arigena. I don't want to say it though…"

"Now you have to say it," Zevran argued. I sighed, "Princess… I'm a princess."

All chatter stopped before Alistair burst into laughter, "Because you're with me and I'm the heir to the throne – maker's breath."

"Do you really think that? I'm not so sure…" Leliana said, "She cannot ascend the throne after all – she looks like an elf and the nobility would never stand for it. Then there is the fact that mages cannot assume noble title like such."

I shrugged, "That's the sticking point, but yes – it is in part because Alistair and I are together that I could be called a Princess."

Wynne clicked her tongue and asked, "Wouldn't you… not take that title until you married him though?"

I flushed and looked at Alistair who grinned, "I guess the Mabari is out of the bag there."

Zevran asked, "When did the two of you sneak off to get married?"

"We uh… we kind of didn't… you see… the night he and I… when we shared a bed and intimacy… when we slept together that first time, matching tattoos magically appeared on our bodies. If one of us touches ours, the other will feel it on theirs… It wasn't on purpose, but something married us – we're linked for life now."

Alistair moved his sleeve away from his tattoo and I did the same. They were currently pulsing with an ethereal red light. I tapped mine and his let out a small pulse.

Wynne and Leliana had come over to inspect them. Leliana breathed, "I want to believe this is the work of the Maker – that it is proof that he never truly abandoned us."

I shrugged, "Perhaps it is – perhaps it's just how my new race is. Perhaps it was the Goddess. Who knows for sure?"

"So I have a question," Leliana asked.

"What is it?"

"Do you know anything about the maker? You've mentioned once that you knew some historical things…"

I shrugged, "There are many things that I know about the Chant that would have the Chantry label me a blasphemer. The Magister Sidereal for example, were not attatched to the legend of the Blight until the third Blight. Before that, it was simply thought that it was the makers' punishment for mans' folly."

Sten rumbled, "Tell us about the Blight – that is my mission here."

I nodded, "Actually, that's a perfect idea… there are things you should all know before we face any Darkspawn. And since tomorrow is going to potentially have some of them…" I was thinking blight wolves.

At once everyone settled down. I folded away my wings and sat in Alistairs lap as Wynne patted my shoulder with a small smile.

"Okay, so what do we need to know?" Aedan looked serious.

"To start… the Darkspawn have existed for far longer than the Veil itself has. It was not the fault of those Magisters, though they did fuck up on a major scale. Regardless, the taint they carry can infect others, turning them into darkspawn as well – they would become Ghouls. Black ichor flows in their bodies as blood flows in ours; the taint is what sustains them and gives them their power – meaning that they do not need food. They can eat – but it wouldn't be for dietary purposes. The taint also increases healing abilities – hence why our dear Wardens seem to be in great shape all the damn time. It's also why they can see better at night – the taint enhances night vision. Darkspawn, however, are weaker in the Sunlight. As a species, the darkspawn are asexual and unable to reproduce – and that's also why Wardens have lowered fertility," I nodded to Alistair.

He blinked, "Wait, really? Then how do they make more of them – is it just… infecting others?"

I shook my head, "A tainted living person will always become a Ghoul and never an actual Darkspawn. The task of reproducing is left to the female ghouls, which are also called Broodmothers. Darkspawn try not to kill females when they encounter them – they capture them. Once brought to a 'safe' place in the Deep Roads, those captured women will be infected with the taint… and they are then… force-fed darkspawn tissue and vomit as well as the tainted flesh of fallen kin. They try to keep feeding the females the flesh of whichever race they hail from. If the women survive this brutal torture, they are transformed over time… mere weeks is all it takes to go from a small woman to a massive pile of writhing flesh with 8 nipples and many more tentacles. The women become so massive that they cannot move more than their arms and tentacles – they no longer have legs anyway. Their lower bodies shape to look something like a pile of pudding though from the waist up they still look relatively similar to what they were. A single broodmother is capable of giving birth to thousands of darkspawn during their lives, and each race produces a different type of darkspawn."

Already they mostly looked ill. Sten was impassive as he asked, "Which race makes what?"

"Humans produce Hurlocks, dwarves produce Genlocks, elves produce shrieks, and Qunari produce ogres – I know the Ben-Hassrath will want that particular information. They are still looking for the Qunari connection to Ogres."

He nodded, "I will inform them."

"It is… terrible to think about this, but it's far worse to witness in person – especially if you aren't expecting to see it. Something to note is that Darkspawn will feature traits similar to their mother race. Genlocks are magically resistant; Shrieks have better vision and an easier time sneaking around, and so on. And mature darkspawn continue to disfavor each other and tend to group together with their own kind – like packs. You will rarely see a Hurlock in a pack of shrieks outside of A Blight. They have their own language and know how to work together for many things like Smithing and assaults. They quite literally worship the Old Gods – with a devotion that rivals the most devout. They go so far as to build alters and ever pray to the Gods."

"Why isn't that common knowledge? About the Broodmothers, I mean. No woman should face Darkspawn without knowing… do the Wardens just not…?" Aedan looked a bit green.

I gave him a sad look. "The Wardens know. They keep it secret for their own reasons, but I plan to put that shit on blast. I want Sten telling the Ariqun, I want Leli telling the Chantry and I want to tell the damn Shaperate while we're in Orzammar. Every woman who risks that should know to find a way to get dead quick if it looks hopeless."

More ill looks were shown, "And the women of our group?" Zevran asked.

"Leliana is highly resistant to the taint and to Lyrium – I don't know why or how. Morrigan is a shapeshifter like me; she can fly the fuck away from the Spawn. Wynne is sort of resistant in her current state but if not… well, I know how to… make the joining potion…"

Alistair nodded, "That's good then – if one of them is tainted, they won't die… well, perhaps they won't."

Aedan said, "Wait – so our enhanced appetite, our better vision and reduced fertility… all of that is Darkspawn traits?"

I nodded, "Yeah – as well as the strength and stamina you get from the joining. The longer you hold the taint, the less you need food, actually – the taint will sustain you more as it corrupts you more. By the time your Calling comes, you won't be eating daily at all."

I stood and stretched, "Goddess… I'm exhausted and we have things to… take care of tomorrow. So, I say it's time for bed."

"Ara…" Aedan called out. I glanced at him, "What Aedan?"

"I'm sorry… about the whole thing in Redcliffe. I was completely out of line and thought that if the Circle tried to claim you I could just… conscript you and…"

"You can't conscript me – I'm immune to the taint and my blood acts like poison to them. I've known since just before Lothering and even gave a vial of my blood to the Hawkes. A small smear of it anywhere on them and the Darkspawn will avoid them like… well like the plague. It isn't even blood magic – my blood can't be used for that at all and I can't use Blood Magic if it would save my life to do so. It's also how I know that killing Darkspawn doesn't count as killing living creatures – they have no soul, after all, so they can't be considered living. Just like Demons are soulless. You would have damned me to a life of experimentation and torture – if the Grey Wardens knew about this, I'd be taken and used for my blood alone. They would bleed me, torture me for what I know and keep me locked in a windowless room. They'd keep me well fed – just in case that had any impact on my precious blood. Wardens, after all, don't forbid Blood Magic; anything to stop the Blights and eradicate the Taint. It's why they have Alistairs' mother locked up for now – when they learn she's completely useless to her; they'll return her to the Circle. I have use – my blood alone can purge the taint from my veins – so what else can it do? It can keep Darkspawn from attacking someone if they have a small smear on them… I don't relish being drained of blood over-and-over. I've been a blood donor before."

Alistair was up and hugging me about half-way through my speech. "I won't let them take you."

"You wouldn't have a choice. Even the chantry would hand me over if it might end the Blights. It isn't certain, and they would still tie me in a bow and deliver me like a Christmas Pig at the feasting table. You can't stop the Divine – she would declare an Exalted March to hand me over if she so much as thought I might be the key to stopping the Blight – even if I need to save the world in the future, she would say 'I'll deal with that when it comes'."

"You… you have to save the world?" Aedan asked.

"Um… it'd be so important that the Qunari would have a Ben-Hassrath agent helping…"

Sten stiffened, "Then I will not be telling the Ariqun of your blood abilities."

"Thank you, Kadan."

He shrugged, "For the good of the Qun."

Aedan sighed, "So my fuck-up was almost as bad as the First Blight?"

"Not really – it is possible that someone else could save the world; but it isn't certain unless I go because I know what needs doing."

"Do you… already?" Alistair asked in confusion. I flushed, "I… well… yes. I have knowledge of a lot of what needs doing over the next decade or so – not everything, mind you, but enough to make a big difference in ease of doing… some of it is… vague, but…"

"Can you give us an example?" Leliana asked excitedly.

"… I'm going to kill the Arishok in single combat." Stens jaw legitimately dropped. He said, "Single combat – you plan to challenge?"

"Not me, big guy – he'll challenge me."

Respect shone in his eyes, "You would do well in the Qun."

"Not bloody happening – I am Bas-Saarebas, Sten…"

Confusion lit his face for a moment, "I genuinely forgot – you hardly use your magics and you are a worthy leader…"

My lip twitched, "The Qun is all well and good for some – but I have no true place within it. You are worthy of the Qun, Sten; but it is not for me."

He nodded slowly, "I think that in this case… I can respect that."

"You don't question her ability to kill the Arishok – you aren't even defensive about it?" Morrigan looked surprised.

"Of course not – she can beat me without my landing a single hit. This was evidenced by our many sparring matches. If anyone could kill the Arishok in single combat, it would be her. The Arishok is obviously on this path already, or she would not have mentioned it. Asit Tal-eb. If it is meant to be, it will be – there are no accidents." He said firmly.

I nodded, "The Arishok cannot leave where he will be without finding the Tomb of Koslun, which will be lost under his watch. He will retrieve it, but by then, he will be spoiling for a fight and will find an excuse to have one. Regardless of if I let him have the thief or not, he will die by the way of the Qun. The thief would escape and I can use her past that if I don't let him take her. So I plan to keep her."

Sten nodded, "No wasting resources."

I cleared my throat, "… If we must put it to a label you will accept, then yes – she will be a resource I can use and the Qun would have lost anyway. It would be worth it to fight for her."

"So… you're going to kill the Arishok one day. Wouldn't that make you the new Arishok?" Zevran asked. I shrugged, "If I were of the Qun and displayed the proper leadership abilities – and I didn't have magic – then sure. I'd be called a man and given the role. The Arishok is only Males. The Arigena is always female and leads the craftsmen, whilst the Ariqun, whose gender varies, leads the priesthood. Everyone has their role in life, after all – it is a matter of finding it."

Sten nodded, "Aside from your magic, you would do well in the Qun – your role would change little."

"But I do have magic – and thus, that line of conversation is moot."

"This is true."

I finally made my escape to sleep.

The next morning, as Zev was cooking, he ambushed me, "Bellisima – you still have not sung that song for me; the one that fighting the undead in Redcliffe reminded you of?"

I groaned, "I… damn. Fine – I suppose. Let me just… try something magical…"

I concentrated on the air and made it vibrate in such a way that music began to play – I was super glad that worked. Plan B would have been pulling out a magic/battery powered music player from my unique bag.

Can I pose a question?

How do you kill what is dead?

I just shoot from the hip

And I aim for the head

He used to be your friend

That was another life

With a single bullet

We're gonna blow his mind

Before I even finished the Intro they all looked stunned. Lelianna seemed to like the tune, Zev liked the Lyrics. And as the song continued they all seemed to get into it.

"What other songs do you know?" Aedan asked. "Sweetie, I'm a walking music machine. I know so many songs that I wouldn't be able to sing them all for you in the year-ish that we have left together…" they all looked stunned at that.

Leliana however, jumped to ask, "Would you sing us as many as you can?"

I sighed, "Uh… well… stop making that face – it isn't fair when you act that cute. How am I supposed to say no to that face?"

She had her eyes wide and lip out in a begging kitten face… her lip quivered. Aedan smirked, "You aren't supposed to say no to it."

"Damn… if people do the dishes on my nights to clean, I'll sing."

Leliana squealed, "Deal!"

Alistair cleared his throat, "I will… assist with that…"

He was bright red as he looked at me with a smile. I stuck my tongue out, "I love you – dork."

He grinned, "I have no idea what that means, you know."

"I do know."

"Well – regardless – I love you too."

Leliana cooed, "You two are just adorable."

Aedan grumbled, "More like sickening."

I narrowed my eyes, "I will have you know that this is mild – I can be much worse and just drown you in mushy crap if you keep complaining."

Aedan looked confused, "How is this mild? You two are putting it on display!"

I reached into my pack and shoved a picture book into his hand – photos of couples being romantic and sweet and just… absolutely adorable in public. He looked through the book with a pinched face, "People really… this is shameless."

"Do you see the styles of dress – Bellisima, why do you not dress like that?" Zev was looking at all the beautiful women in skimpy clothing – go figure.

"Oh… are they…?" Leliana was flushed. I glanced at the picture, "They're just snuggling – not having sex; though some people did have… relations in public places. I personally found it quite… thrilling to be in a place where someone might catch you at any given moment – like in a parked carriage of the roadside."

Alistair looked stunned, "You did such things?"

"There was very little I hadn't tried – in fact, one of the things I'd never experienced before, you aided with."

The whole camp went silent before Zevran very smoothly said, "Well, do not keep us in the dark, Bellisima – what could he have possibly done?"

Alistair looked embarrassed but curious – as far as he knew, we'd only done things that I knew about personally.

"Multiple orgasms – Goddess; that is… I didn't even think it was possible for me to have more than one so close together. I almost passed out one time – actually that was two nights ago."

"I do not need to know this," Aedan declared.

"I wonder at the point of female ejaculation," Sten asked in curiosity. I saw everyone stiffen. I smiled sweetly, "There are a great many purposes to it – including increased fertility. I'll either make you a list or get you a book to read about it. Maybe the Qun will start caring about female pleasure."

"It increases fertility?" he looked interested.

"Oh yes – especially if the woman gets off just before or at the same time as the man. The contracting of the vaginal walls moves the semen…" a hand was clapped over my mouth. I glanced at Aedan in amusement.

"We don't need to hear this, Ara – we really… don't…"

I shrugged, and he removed his hand. I said, "I'll get you a book Sten – if anyone else is interested, they can ask directly."

Alistair – who was bright red – cleared his throat, "W-why… why talk so… openly about it?"

"There is no Taboo in the Qun," Sten said gravely before finishing the last bite of his eggs and moving to stack his plate in the pile for cleaning.

I nodded, "There were very few if any taboo topics in my previous world too. I mean, no one was going to talk about personal relationship issues to strangers, but to friend – talk it up. Abortion was perfectly legal, but some people felt uncomfortable talking about terminated pregnancies so it was usually left out of polite conversation. I could actually list all of the taboo topics – some I actually researched for the books I was writing."

"Like… I'm afraid to ask, but like what?" Aedan caved.

"Cannibalism, slavery, suicide, and even some I don't feel comfortable saying."

"… Wow… you don't feel comfortable… what's worse than eating people?" Morrigan asked – looking thoroughly disgusted.

"Nope – just nope; I am so not going there. There may only be a few Taboo topics in my world, but most make me sick. There was actually someone who was famous for being a cannibal – he said tattoos tainted the flavor of the… meat. I'm safe from him at least."

Zevran snorted, "That is why you got tattoos?"

"No – I got tattoos before I ever heard about that, actually. I could tell you why I got each one?"

"Talk and walk – we should reach the Dalish soon and everyone is done eating and packed so…" Aedan pointed out. I nodded and we got moving.

"So this clover one on my wrist was something I got with my twin sister – as Aedan and Alistair know and have likely told the rest of you, we didn't share a womb but that didn't even matter; we were twins. We had our own language and everything, like all twins do. She got one in red on her ankle – because my favorite color wouldn't make a good tattoo color for her skin, so she took my third favorite color. Four-leaf clovers are signs of luck and also synonymous with our Irish heritage, so it was like… 3 reasons in one."

"You got it for luck and her favorite color was blue?" Leliana asked.

I nodded, "Exactly – though I already have the Devils' Luck. All 4 tattoos were free because I was friends with a budding artist who wanted to build a portfolio so she could work in a shop. I've come to realize that my luck is mostly just Karma repaying my kindness to others."

Wynne actually looked amused at that.

"What about this one?" Aedan tapped the Treble Cleft on my upper left arm. I bit my lip, "I uh… I attempted to kill myself at one point. I had gotten highly depressed and… as weird as it sounds, it was music that saved my life. Having and listening to songs that I related to at the time… it helped."

Alistair had paled at my words, "Makers' Breath…"

I pressed on, "The swirling heart on my back was gotten to show my… freedom… from something. That's why it's all swirly and broken up – freedom came with a price as it always does. And this one used to not have a heart on it – it was just the symbol for eternity which I had originally gotten just because I liked it. Not all tattoos need a deep meaning, after all. But now, it's a symbol of my marriage."

Zevran looked suspicious, "Freedom from what?"

"I don't want to talk about that – in fact, I will seriously beat you black and blue if you push, because I'm just not ready to relieve that trauma. Do I make myself clear?" my voice had dipped into chilled mode and I saw the assassin take a reflexive step back, "I… I understand, Bellisima – you would have made a good crow if you were more relaxed about killing."

I snorted, "I'd make a better whore than I would an assassin – new topic; how do you all feel about werewolves?"

Around the time we were about to stop for lunch… "Hold, Shemlen, the Dalish have claimed these woods, you'll need to camp elsewhere." It was Mithra from the Nature of the Beast quest. She was about 2 inches taller than me with short brown hair that went down to her chin, tan skin, and blue eyes. Her armor was the same as a Dalish from the game, with her midriff exposed.

"Andaran Atish'an, Mithra. My name is Arvaala, Ir Abelas for the intrusion, but we really must speak with Keeper Zathrian," Her eyes widened as I spoke her name.

"Who… who are you? How do you know my name?" She was on the defensive…

"As I said, I am Arvaala, though many call me Ara. I am a Seer, and traveling with me are two Grey Wardens with a treaty that calls for the Aid of the Dalish and in turn we can help with your… werewolf problem," I knew Aedan and Alistair were trying not to react to my words.

"I… follow me," Mithra was still pale, but she led us to the Keeper anyway. He was about 5 foot 7, bald, and had grey eyes. Poor woman looked so damn spooked that I felt really bad.

"Keeper, this one is a Seer traveling with Grey Wardens… she knows of our troubles and greeted me by name, and spoke as we do."

"Thank you, Mithra, you may return to your duties," The keepers' voice was gravely and deep. "Ma Nuvenin, Keeper." And she left, glancing at me once more.

"Are you really a seer? There hasn't been a seer born among the elves in centuries. No Dalish clan would let you get away, yet you speak our language and have no Vallaslin…"

"Yeah, I'm not a Dalish. Regardless, I know what must be done here, and in return we need help to combat the blight." He was nodding.

"That is… reasonable – given that you can really aid us in this."

I snorted, "Let me tell you a not-so-well-kept secret, Keeper – I cannot lie to anyone. If the Dread Wolf came walking through that forest and asked me if I knew his true identity, I couldn't say no."

The Keeper froze and swiftly breathed out, "Nuvenas mana helanin, dirth bellasa ma."

I sighed, "I don't want to play that game, Keeper – I'm not one of his, but I do know…"

He repeated the words so I groaned out – he wasn't going to let up, was he? Fine, "Ar-melana dirthavaren; Revas vir-anaris," I grumbled. He nodded firmly, "Amae Lethalas – of course you have my word that once my men are cured, we will aid in the Blight."

Aedan looked confused, "I think I missed something – you go from talking about not being able to lie to speaking in Elven? And somehow that got him to…"

"Can it, Aedan – I'm in a mood. I just had to tell him what I told Flemeth. It isn't important right now; it just means that Zathrian is now one of my bosom buddies."

Zathrian nodded in slight amusement, "Indeed – it seems we have a friend in common."

"Well, if it makes things easier, why are so upset about it?" Alistair asked.

"Because, this lost friend of ours doesn't even know me… I think. Seeing as I have no memories from before that incident, I suppose it's possible that Solas knows me."

Zathrian looked concerned, "You have memory loss?"

"Only on anything that happened before Ostagar fell while I was in Thedas. If you want details of my past life, however…"

Zathrian looked thoughtful, "Do you know what your name is?"

"I know what I picked… I am Arvaala now, but I have no idea what my name was before then. My past life was Abigail… but for all I know, my name was Lulu Lemon or something before that. Sorry."

"Well, as I said, you are welcome here – as my personal guest, though. If I am able to contact Felassan, I will see if he knows anyone by your description. If there is anything you need…?"

"Great. Let us resupply with Master Varathorn and if we have time we'll start on the forest."

"What should we do?" Zevran asked.

"Leliana, you should go see the Halla Herder – her name is Elora – and let her know that it isn't the Halla she is tending that is ill, but rather that Hallas' mate. Aedan, restock and trade with Master Varathorn – if there is anything we need. Tell him we will find some Ironbark in the forest for him. Zevran – you see Cammen over there? Yes, the red haired boy – go convenience him that he should venture a little into the forest with us so he can get a pelt to be a hunter… not far, just until we find Deygan to bring back. Wynne, go ask the brown haired elf there – Sarel, the clan storyteller – about Aneirin. Alistair, I want you getting started on Sandwiches – it doesn't require cooking so you can do it unattended. Morrigan, scout by air to see what the werewolves are up to, coordinate with Sten – Sten, I want you watching near the forest edge. If a big furry humanoid wolf attacks, kill it."

Zathrian was staring at me with a calculating look as I assigned jobs. I rubbed at my temples – what a headache.

I turned to the Keeper as I recalled, "Keeper – one more thing. Asha'bellanar said to tell you that she told me something; Melana en Athim las mythal'enansal… does this have any relevance to you?" I knew it meant 'Now let humility grant Mythals blessing' but in relation to me?

"It… seems that she wishes you to receive Vallaslin; Mythals to be precise," Zathrian gestured to Lanaya who nodded and walked off; when she returned moments later she had the blood inks.

I groaned, "Awesome – I wanted a new tattoo anyway. Flemeth always has a reason for these things, so I'll play along for the moment."

Zathrian rolled his eyes and led me into his tent with Lanaya – she looked so lost at the Keepers less strict attitude to me but we both ignored that. I had told Zathrian that I wasn't one of Solas' people so if he wanted to treat me like I was then that was on him.

"I will allow you to choose the color," Zathrian told me. I pointed to a glimmering bottle; I don't know why I chose it, but it called to me. When I told Zathrian my reasoning, he nodded.

Turns out my chosen color was a silver color that would glitter in the light. Awesome… not! I really hated glitter and now I was going to be wearing it for at least the next 10 years? I'd ask Solas to remove it later. Flemeth better have a damn good reason for this

As per Dalish Tradition, I kept completely silent as Zathrian tattooed my face. Somehow I found it easier to stay silent for this tattoo than I had for my back tattoo; it was odd because the method was older and slower than what had been used for my back.

It took several hours to do just the Roots of Mythal – also called the 'wings' of Mythal – just below my eyes. I hadn't gotten the full tree because I wasn't exactly staying with the clan and we didn't have another day to finish it. Another reason was because I didn't only embody the values of Mythal – I was to leave the rest of my face open for June, Sylaise or even Dirthamen. Having explained much of my known personality and current accomplishments to Zathrian while he'd prepared the inks, this was what he thought.

He thought I should have June do to my soap crafting; Sylaise was thought of for the fact that I'd died for my son – a mothers' protection which also attributed for Mythal. Dirthamen was suggested by Lanaya when I said I couldn't tell everyone what the future would hold or I would change things. I had decided to leave it at the Wings of Mythal for the moment.

Due to the late hour, I could see that the others had set up camp in a designated area. Alistair had been pacing outside the Aravel. I gave him an amused look as he looked at me and hugged me.

"Are you alright? I didn't hear any screams of pain or anything, but…" Alistair was looking me over, assuring himself that I wasn't injured before taking in the new face tattoo.

I chuckled, "I'm completely fine, my love. It didn't hurt at all. I've gotten several tattoos, as you've seen, but none were as painless as this," I gestured to my face. Leli and Zev each complimented it.

"From here on, no matter where you travel, you are our sister. Tonight, we honor you," Zathrian intoned and several cheers went out. I noted that Elora, Varathorn and a few others were the most welcoming.

Stories were told through the night and when I used my magic to change my 'strange' clothes to Dalish armor that actually covered my gut like in Inquisition, they were all stunned. The whole 'new magics' thing making them think I held lost magic from the times of Arlathan.

Zathrian looked at me sharply and lifted an eyebrow. I shook my head and he shrugged.

I received smiles and a few small gifts such as a necklace that would glow if there was Danger – so basically a glowing necklace since I would be in near constant danger for the next decade, a pair of fingerless gloves, and a ring that was enchanted to increase my pain threshold – it was unnecessary but still welcomed.

I hooked the necklace around Alistairs' neck, much to his embarrassment – in part because I kissed him as I clasped it behind him. There had been a few whistles at that. I put the ring on my right forefinger and placed the gloves into Alistairs' pack.

After we ate, I dragged him along to our special tent – it had gotten quite a few looks of awe and examination. He said, "You are the only person I know who could walk into a Dalish camp and walk away as a member."

"I'm just as confused as you. I know Flemeth has her reasons, though; I'm interested to see what that will be."

I stripped and put on a long shirt… it was Alistairs, and it was all I wore to bed lately; he didn't seem to mind. I smiled when I noticed he was only wearing linen pants and I snuggled into his side.

His arms instantly encircled me and I swear I almost purred at how I felt.

"Ar Lath Ma, Alistair," I muttered. He hummed in confusion, "Hmm?"

"It… it means 'I love you' in Elven," I told him. I heard his heartbeat increase as he ran his hand along my hair. "Good night, love." I hadn't given him a chance to reply as set my hand on his chest and closed my eyes.

I knew it took us both sometime to fall asleep after that.