Disclaimer: I do not own
A/N: Sorry this chapter took a little longer to post. I'm starting a new story, and spent a little more time figuring out the story line than i planned. But I really hope you all like this chapter and that it was worth the wait for you. Also, this chapter is based on the song Body by Julia Michaels.
Body
"Hey short stuff." "Look, it's the midget." "Yo, pipsqueak." "Shrimp." Misaki Yata was never very comfortable with his appearance. In fact, he fucking hated the way he looked. He knew he was scrawny, with pale skin, and ugly red hair that wasn't the striking red that his king had, or that he saw when he looked into Anna's eyes. No, his hair looked more like a muddy red than anything else. And to top it off, everybody just loved to remind him of just how short he was.
He just couldn't stand it.
He looked at his reflection in the fogged up mirror, thankful for the fact he couldn't clearly see his body. He looked down at himself, running his fingers over the skin on his stomach. He was thin, but so soft. Not toned the way that he wished it was. Not like Saruhiko's.
He dropped the towel he had wrapped around his waist, and slipped a pair of boxers up over boney hips. Sighing, he turned away from the mirror, and leaned against the sink, running a hand through his wet hair. It was so pathetic how insecure he felt. Not that he ever let anybody see how he truly felt.
Well, no one that he LET see that side of him. Somehow Saru knew. It was like those piercing blue eyes could just look through him, and see all of his vulnerabilities and insecurities. He never outright said anything to red head about it, but he always seemed to give extra reassurance when it was needed the most.
Misaki heard movement on the other side of the bathroom door, so he quickly pulled on his black tank top, before said door opened. He pulled his shorts up as his boyfriend walked into the room, with a kiss to the top of his head.
"Morning." The taller one said with a soft smile.
The smaller boy pulled away. "Can you fucking knock?" he asked, turning his back on the taller boy.
The smile slipped of the dark haired male's face. "So it's one of those mornings, huh?" he questioned. He knew that Misaki could be temperamental sometimes, but it was getting harder for him to deal with it when he got like this.
"Sorry that I want a little privacy." He snapped, grabbing his toothbrush and putting paste on it. "Maybe I just don't feel like you walking in on me while I'm getting dressed." He shoved the brush into his mouth, and began to aggressively brush his teeth.
The Scepter 4 member clicked his tongue, before moving over to the sink, to join in with brushing his teeth too. "Because I've never seen you naked, right?"
Spitting, Misaki rinsed the brush off, and tossed it onto the back of the sink. "Maybe I wasn't in the mood for you to see me like that right now. It's my fucking body." He wiped a towel across his face, before moving to exit the small room, that seemed way too cramped at the moment.
Saruhiko put down the toothpaste, before reaching out to grab a thin, pale, wrist. "Is that what this is about?" he questioned, pulling the smaller boy towards himself. "Do you not want me to look at you?" He grasped a delicate chin in his hand, brushing his fingers across the freckles that were sprinkled across his cheeks. The dark haired male pressed a kiss against soft lips, before pulling away to look into hazel eyes that he could lose himself in. "You know I love looking at you, right?"
"Whatever." The red haid, pulled away and left Saru standing alone.
By the time that Saruhiko had finished getting ready, and made his way to the living room, he found Yata sitting on the sofa, legs curled under himself, with his oversized sweatshirt hanging off his frame. He was absent mindedly flipping through channels on the TV, and hadn't seemed to notice his entrance into the room. So, Saru took this opportunity to look at his lover. Really look at him.
Though they lived together, he rarely got the opportunity to enjoy looking at the smaller boy. Any time he noticed anybody looking at him, he seemed to curl in on himself, deflect the attention to something else, or just leave the situation. He didn't remember it being this bad when they were in middle school, but over the years, it seemed like it was just getting worse. He, for the life of himself, couldn't figure out why he didn't like being looked at. He was gorgeous. There wasn't an inch of that body that the younger male didn't adore.
When Misaki finally realized the other boy was in the room, the first thing he noticed was how intently he was looking at him. Immediately feeling uncomfortable with the gaze, he awkwardly rubbed his arm, before pulling his sweatshirt over the exposed skin of his legs.
He just wanted Saru to stop looking at him like that.
The dark haired boy crossed the room, and knelt in front of the smaller male. "Why don't you take this off?" he questioned, tugging on the white fabric, leaning in to kiss him.
Misaki turned his head away, pretending to turn his attention back to the TV. "Stop." He said, clicking the remote.
"Look at me." The taller boy said in a gentle voice, trying to turn his lover's face to look at him. "I'm sorry about earlier." But there was no response. "Will you fucking look at me?" he snapped.
Finally, the red head looked at his boyfriend. "I'm not in the mood. Can you just leave me alone?"
Clicking his tongue, Saruhiko stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets agitatedly. "Whatever. I have to get going, anyway." He made his way to the door, where he grabbed his black jacket, about to put it on, when he was stopped by a curios sounding voice.
"Where are you going?" Yata questioned, taking in his boyfriend's appearance. He was in tight black pants, and a tight black tank that showed off a nice strip of his abdomen. Where could he possibly be going dressed like that?
"Out." He said, as he slipped his arms into his hooded coat. "I'm meeting with Benzai for lunch."
"Dressed like that?" The question was out of the red head's mouth before he even realized he had said it.
The taller of the males cocked an eyebrow, looking questioningly at the other. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Misaki turned his head away, embarrassed that he had even said anything. Yet, how could he not? "I just don't see why you would be going out to lunch, with a coworker, dressed like that. Aren't you supposed to dress professionally, or something?"
There was a click of a tongue. "It's not a work thing. We're just having lunch together."
"If it's not for work, why do you have to go?" It wasn't that he didn't want him to go, he just didn't want him to go out like that. "I mean, I want you to stay with me. We could watch a movie?" he offered, hoping his boyfriend would stay.
The Scepter 4 member leaned against the door, arms crossed over his chest. "Less than two minutes ago you were telling me to leave you alone. Now suddenly you want me to stay? What's this really about?"
"Nothing!" the smaller of the two said.
"Okay then, I'm going." He stated, turning towards the door again.
"I don't want you to!" It came out louder than Yata had intended. He knew that the other male wouldn't believe him that there wasn't a reason he didn't want him to go. "Please just stay with me."
"Misaki," It came out as an exasperated sigh. "I have plans, I have to go."
"No."
"What is your problem?"
By this point, both of their voices were beginning to raise higher and higher. The red head squared his jaw, before standing up and marching over to his boyfriend, and petulantly, started tugging at the jacket sleeves, like he was trying to get it off of him. "Just stay. Ok?"
Saruhiko tried to gently push his lovers hands off of him, as he repeatedly tried to pull at the jacket. "Nock it off. You're acting like a child."
"I'm acting like a child?" the shorter male questioned, clearly getting upset. "Why? Because I don't want my boyfriend going out to lunch with some guy from work, dressed like that?"
"Dressed like what?" What he was wearing was no different than the type of clothes he normally wore when he wasn't expected to be in his blue uniform.
"Like you're going out looking for a hookup!" By this point, Yata had given up on trying to get the jacket off, but he wasn't going to give up on trying to get the other to stay.
The taller male adjusted his glasses, before taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. "There is nothing wrong with the way I am dressed. I am going out to lunch, with a friend. That's it. There is no reason you need to be acting like this."
"You look like a fucking slut!" the smaller male snapped, while backing away from the other.
Giving an icy glare, Fushimi stepped towards his boyfriend. "You know what, Misaki? Just because you hate your body and are fucking insecure, doesn't mean I have to be." He partially regretted saying it the moment it came out of his mouth. But, at the same time, he was so tired of dealing with Misaki when he behaved like this, that he felt it had to be said. But damn did that look in the smaller male's eyes hurt to see.
"I'm not insecure." The red head said, turning his back on the taller male, and storming across the room. He plopped himself down on the sofa, and turned his attention back to the TV. "Just go."
Saruhiko stood where he was for a few moments, working out what had just happened. How the fuck was he the bad guy here? The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became. "Fuck!" he shouted, before storming over to the bedroom and slamming the door behind himself.
The Homra member glanced over the back of the sofa, eying the door. He wondered what Saru was doing in there. He felt bad for upsetting his boyfriend, he really hadn't intended to do that.
When the bedroom door was once again opened, he quickly turned back to the TV, hoping that the taller male wouldn't notice the sudden movement. His eyes still followed the others movements until he got to the front door and began to put on his shoes. It was then that he noticed, during the few minutes he had been in their room, Saru had changed into looser fitting jeans and a loose, long sleeve, black shirt.
Before he had the chance to say anything, his boyfriend was out the door, and he was left sitting alone in their apartment.
Turning around, he tried to watch some TV, but nothing caught his attention. After a few minutes, he stood up and made his way to their small kitchen, and looked for something to eat. He was hungry, since he hadn't eaten anything yet today, but nothing he looked at seemed appetizing.
Finally giving up on finding something to eat, he settled for a glass of orange juice. Downing it in one gulp, he made his way back to the living room. There was only one thing he could think of to get his mind off of Saru and how shitty he was feeling about himself.
He turned on some music, and pushed the sofa out of the way, clearing a space to exercise. Any time he felt overwhelmed, this was what he would do to help calm down and clear his mind. He really did feel awful for upsetting Saru. But seeing him so secure with his body, made him feel like shit for not being the same way. He would do anything to be able to feel as comfortable in his skin as his boyfriend did. Maybe if he looked like that, he would be that confident too.
Pulling off his sweater, he stood still for a moment, running his hand over the fabric of his tank that covered his stomach. It was flat, but so fucking soft. He laid on the floor, and proceeded to start doing sit-ups, hoping that if he worked really hard, he might achieve a body he could be happy with. Because right now, he couldn't fucking stand the way he looked, and he couldn't understand how Saru could even look at him without being disgusted.
The red head continued with the repetition, until his back became tender from continuously grinding against the wood floor. Standing, he moved on to jumping jacks. Yata knew this was how he would be spending his afternoon. Once he began exercising, he became so focused on it, that he would go for hours, usually until Saru made him stop.
Fushimi was on his way home, thinking about the conversation he had just had with Benzai. It was nice to get how he felt off his chest, and get some advice about what he could do for Misaki. He knew the smaller boy would be less than pleased if he knew they had planned to meet up to talk about him, which is precisely why he didn't tell him. It was also the reason that he absolutely had to go.
Arriving back to his building, the Scepter 4 member headed inside, and made his way up the stairs to his apartment. He stopped in front of his door, listening to the music coming from the other side. Misaki loved to listen to music whenever he was doing just about anything from cooking to cleaning. But, this music… This was the music that he listened to whenever he worked out. He said it pumped him up.
The dark haired male lifted his glasses, and ran his other hand over his eyes as he tried to decide how he should handle this. After the way their day had started, he doubted Misaki would like it if he walked in on him exercising. He would probably feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. And he just didn't have it in him to try to pry the little red head out of his shell if he felt like that.
Pulling out his phone, he typed up a text, and sent it to the male on the other side of the door. He read it back to himself, before replacing the phone into his pocket. 'On my way home. Be there in 5.' That should give his boyfriend enough time to get his shit together.
He leaned his back against the wall, and closed his eyes. There was the muffled sound of 'shit' coming through the door, as the music shut off. He had gotten the message. Waiting a few more minutes, Fushimi finally decided it was time to head in.
Turning the doorknob, he opened the door and headed into their shared apartment, only to see his sweat soaked boyfriend picking up his sweater, about to put it back on. Something in taller male snapped. Enough was enough. The Misaki he knew and loved was so vibrant and full of life, and just didn't give a fuck about what other people thought of him. This was not his Misaki. But he would get him back.
Walking across the room, he grabbed the smaller male by the wrist, and snatched the sweater from his hands. "You're not fucking putting this on." He stated, before dragging his captive to the bathroom. Planting the red head in front of the mirror, he stood behind him, and held him in place. "Look.'
"C'mon Saru. Stop." Yata tried to pull away, but was unable to break free.
"Not until you look at yourself." The blue clansman gently, but firmly, took the Homra member by the chin, and forced him to face the looking glass before them. "I want you to tell me what you see."
"This isn't funny. I want you to let me go." The red head tried to hold the tears back. He wasn't so fucking weak that he would let himself cry over this. He just really couldn't do this. He tried to pull away again, but just as previously, he wasn't able to.
"Fine." Saruhiko released his face, but both hands on the sink, trapping the smaller boy. "Do you want to know what I see?" He watched the red head's reflection, as he turned his face downward and shook his head. "I see somebody that is so goddamn gorgeous, but can't fucking see it. And I don't understand why. I don't understand how you can look in the mirror, and not see how beautiful you are." His voice was harsh, but had a hint of caring in it. "I see someone who, for some reason, is afraid to even look at himself in the mirror."
There was silence, as Yata felt his boyfriend rest his forehead on the back of his neck. "Would you want to look in the mirror, if you hated what you saw every time you did?" he finally asked, still refusing to lift his head.
There was a click of a tongue, as he felt Saru gently cup his face and lift him to face the mirror. "Just look." He whispered softly in his ear. "How can you hate this?" he questioned.
The Scepter 4 member moved his hands down to the hem of the smaller males shirt. He began to lift it, only to have Misaki's hands frantically trying to stop him. "Stop." He gently ordered the red head, slightly surprised when he listened. But, not surprised when he looked away again. Removing the shirt, he took in the reflection of the smaller male. How could he hate seeing this.
Looking down, he saw purple bruises marring the otherwise perfect skin of the red clansman's back. He knew these weren't fresh, but the patches or raw flesh were. He felt nauseas seeing the abuse his lover's body was going through. Letting out a sigh, he pressed a kiss to the back of the others neck. "You're beautiful." He moved to place another kiss on a sweat dampened temple. "You're stunning."
He stepped between the red head and the mirror, taking in all of his features. "You're perfect." He stated, before leaning in to press a kiss against soft lips. Pulling back, he moved out of the way, so that his boyfriend would be met with his own reflection again. "And this," he said, moving to reclaim his position behind the smaller male. "This is the body I adore. This is the face I love."
"How can you say that?" It had been several minutes since the last time Yata had spoken. He turned to face the taller male. "Look at you. You are so fucking perfect. I'm just a little pipsqueak. And everybody always says so, and they underestimate me because of it."
"Let them." Saruhiko said. "Let them underestimate you. You know what you're capable of. You don't need there approval."
"Easy for you to say."
"It is easy for me to say, because I can see you. The real you." He began leaving feather light kisses on the side and back of a pale neck, as his hands gently drifted to the buttons on the smaller boys shorts. Making quick work of his obstacle, he let the offending fabric fall to the ground. "This body is incredible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I need you to believe that."
The red head turned around in his arms, hazel eyes looking up at him, full of unshed tears. "I wish I could be more like you." He whispered.
Rolling his eyes, the Scepter 4 member leaned in for another kiss. "If you were like me, I don't think I would be with you. I love you for who you are." Stepping back, he took the other male by the hand, and gently led the way into their bedroom, before gently lifting him onto the bed. "And, I'm going to show you how much I love every inch of you."
Misaki felt himself being gently pushed onto his back, as his boyfriend crawled onto the bed on top of him. There were fingers gently running through his red locks, as kisses were littered over his face, eventually making their way to his ear. As lips and tongue lavished attention on the appendage, deft fingers made their way down to the Homra member's chest.
The feeling of hot breath on his ear, and thumbs circling the nubs on his chest, instantly made him feel lightheaded. "What are you doing?" Misaki asked, as teeth gently sunk into his lobe.
Giving a quick suck to the skin in his mouth, Saruhiko shifted to look his boyfriend in the eye. "I'm worshipping this very worthy body." Pressing their lips together, he ran his tongue across the small opening of his lover's mouth, asking for entry. There was a small moan, before the mouth was opened, granting him permission.
Yata pressed his body up to meet that of his boyfriend's, as his hands moved to remove the taller males shirt. They pulled apart, as the article was pulled over a head of messy black hair, giving the smaller boy time to take in the sight of his boyfriend. Perfection. His toned chest, and the outlines of his abs. He started thinking about how much he wished this was what he looked like.
The blue clansman above him could sense the shift in the mood, and moved back down to capture his partners lips with his own again. "Stop thinking." He whispered, as he trailed his lips down the slender neck before him, to a smooth chest. He caught a small nipple in his mouth, hoping to distract the other male. And, the moan he received in response made him certain that he had succeeded.
Moving over to the other side to give the other bud the same attention, his fingers dipped below the waistband of the red heads boxers. He made quick work of pulling them down, grateful for the smaller male lifting his hips, and bending his knees, without being asked, making his job much easier.
His lips and tongue made their way lower, over the soft skin of Misaki's stomach, stopping momentarily to swirl around his belly button, before dipping inside. He kept his eyes locked on his boyfriend's face as he did so, enjoying watching him bite his lip before throwing his head back as another moan escaped him.
Feeling encouraged, he kissed his way over to the tempting hip bone, that was just begging to be bit. Nipping at the skin, Fushimi smirked, at how Misaki unconsciously spread his legs wider, giving him access to his ultimate goal. Taking the other boys member in his hand, he swiped his tongue across the tip, taking pleasure in his boyfriend's reaction.
While Misaki enjoyed his boyfriend's ministrations, he was never very patient, and the teasing touches were driving him insane. Pulling at the other's shoulders, trying to get his attention, he whined. "Saru, Please." What exactly he wanted, he wasn't sure, but he knew Saruhiko would.
Planting a kiss on the pale flesh of an inner thigh, the dark haired male, heaved himself back up to be face to face with his little lover. "You rang?" he questioned, adjusting his glasses.
Part of Yata wanted to laugh at the others antics, but at that moment, he was too preoccupied. "I need you. Please?"
Saruhiko ground his hips against those of the male's beneath him, as he pressed another kiss to his lips. "I could make you feel so, so good." He said, starring into hazel eyes. "And, I will. But, you need to do something first." All he received was a confused look. "Tell me you're beautiful."
It was a simple statement. It's shouldn't have been hard to say. But, it was. Yata couldn't seem to get the words out, as his boyfriend laid on top of him, looking expectantly. "I'm beautiful." He mumbled out, but not believing it, as he looked away.
Saruhiko gently turned his face back, so they were eye to eye again. "Say it again." His voice was low, but the authority behind it, made it clear that it wasn't a request. When Misaki tried to turn away again, he held his face in place. He wasn't going to let him run away from this. "You are so fucking gorgeous. And I want you to say it like you mean it."
Tears welled up in hazel eyes again. "I'm beautiful?" he was able to get out with a shaky voice.
The Scepter 4 member kissed his boyfriend with passion, and a gentleness mixed in, as he moved his hips against the smaller ones of the male beneath him. "So fucking beautiful." He continued kissing and grinding, as legs wrapped themselves around his waist. "Say it again." He demanded.
"I'm beautiful." This time it came out softly, but as a statement and not a question.
"Again." Fushimi said as he continued moving his hips.
"I'm beautiful." It was embarrassing, but the red head felt like he was about to cum from just this. What he really wanted, though, was for the male on top of him, to be in him. "Saru, please."
Feeling as though he should give the other what he wanted, he brushed red locks away from his face. "Ok." He said, nodding at the other. "Do you need me to prepare you?" It wouldn't do any good if he hurt the smaller male. Receiving a shake of the head as his answer, he shifted to undo his pants and push them down his hips. He then moved so that he was lined up with Misaki's entrance.
The red head felt the other push inside of him. There was a momentarily sense of pain, followed quickly by a wave of pleasure, as he wrapped his arms around the others shoulders. The Homra member pulled his boyfriend closer, as he tightened his legs around a slender waist. The feeling of having the other inside of him was indescribable.
The two of them were gasping and moaning, as their bodies moved together in synchronicity. Saruhiko smirked, as he pressed his mouth against the smaller males, swallowing a moan as he shifted his hips just the right way. He was so familiar with the stunning body beneath him, that he knew exactly what to do to make the smaller male feel good.
It wasn't long before they were calling each others names, as they tipped over the edge in a sweaty panting mess. The Scepter 4 member looked down at the little red head in amazement. Seeing him covered in a sheen of sweat, face flushed, hair a mess… He was stunning. And he needed to make sure he understood that.
Leaning forward, he kissed him with all the passion he could express, before pulling away, and looking into his eyes. "You are perfection."
Misaki felt his face heat up even more, now from embarrassment. "Whatever." He looked away from the other.
Rolling onto his back, Fushimi pulled his pants back up, and reached into his pocket. Pulling out a white card, he fingered the corner momentarily, deciding if he should give it to the male beside him. "Here." He said, as he slipped it into the others hand. He watched as the red head curiously inspected the card. "Benzai gave it to me. It's the doctor his sister went to." He sat up, and shifted so that he could run a hand through the other's sweat dampened locks. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. But, just think about it."
Reading the card over and over again, Misaki tried to figure out how to react. What should he do. He didn't think he needed to see so doctor. He wasn't sick. And he sure as fuck wasn't crazy. Not being happy with how you look didn't mean you needed a doctor. Did Saru think there was something wrong with him? But, this clearly meant a lot to his boyfriend, so would it hurt to consider it. How much would it hurt to go to one appointment. "I'll think about it."
Saruhiko gave one of his rare smiles, at hearing this. "I love you. I just want you to see yourself the way I see you."
He listened to his boyfriend's words, really thinking about what he was saying. What Saru didn't realize was, how much Misaki wished he could see himself the way his boyfriend did too.
A/N: And there you have it. Hope you enjoyed caring Saruhiko as much as i do. I just love seeing his softer side.