Chapter 21

Living with Maddie for the last three days was shockingly easy for Bucky to settle into. For someone like him, with a background full of secrets and a brain full of suspicion, she made it easy to crowd it out with all of her light, something she gave to him so willingly. It was strange to be around someone as calm and accepting as she was, someone who let him back into her life with open arms and understanding in her eyes, who was so eager to help with whatever he needed whether it be space or just her calming presence, never judging him or demanding answers. And slowly they slipped into an easy friendship, learning about each other while still maintaining a respectable amount of distance.

'I'm not a man who was supposed to have a Soul Mate, let alone one like her. What the fuck happened? What God did I appease to make this happen?'

His thoughts spiraled as they sat on the couch after dinner, the very one that, during said dinner, they had decided would be his bed until…well just until. The unspoken words had hung in the air making dinner a slightly awkward affair. Maddie's cheeks had turned a pretty pink for the rest of the night and feelings that he had thought were long dead and buried, rose to life, driving him to distraction.

Now as twelve o'clock rolled around and he watched the picture on her laptop's screen change for the fourteenth time, Bucky felt pride warm his chest just looking at another beautiful picture that she had taken. This one was of a woman silhouetted in the distance as she walked along a beach during a bright sunny day. A slight fog was rolling off of a hand full of large rocky cliffs that jutted out in the background, giving the picture a whimsical and mysterious feel; like the woman was about to walk through a fog that separated the normal beach from a fantasy one right on the other side. His admiration for her talent was interrupted by the feeling of pressure moving along his side as Maddie shifted in her sleep. Not wanting to wake her, Bucky stiffened till she settled once more.

She had been steadily falling asleep next to him for the last half hour as they flipped through the "best pictures" she had taken over the years. Maddie had been choosy with the ones she showed him but even with his lack of photography knowledge, he could tell that if she ever took a "bad picture" it would be few and far between. But she had gone out like a slowly flickering candle and Bucky had moved her laptop to the table, letting the slide show move from picture to picture as she slept next to him. Not wanting to disturb her, he moved slowly, dropping his arm around her body, and tucking her more securely into his side.

He, himself, however, was too wired to even try to rest, even if it was only for the scant few hours he normally allowed himself to get. So instead, Bucky let his girl sleep as he watched the display of her beautiful creativity play out before him, all the while trusting in the numerous traps he had set up around the cabin to let him know if someone was out there. No one would ever threaten this woman or the piece of heaven she had given him.

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Bucky forced himself not to pace circles around the room as he stood stiffly, arms crossed tightly over his chest as he waited for Maddie to finish getting ready so they could leave. "Are you sure you want to come with me? I just have to get a toolbox or something like that for all this crap. It will be just a quick in and out, I don't want to be in the hardware store any longer than I have to be." Maddie asked him for the third time that afternoon as she walked out of her bedroom. She had to sidestep around the tools, plastic bags, and containers that had been thrown into a pile on the floor after they had spent all morning putting up the curtains and rods, she had bought for the windows.

Doing a little spin, she dropped down onto the couch and pulled on some black tennis shoes while unbeknownst to her, Bucky was shoving down a sudden fluttering feeling in his chest. She had changed out of the loose sweatpants and sweatshirt that she had been wearing that morning and into some dark blue jeans that hugged her hips and legs, and a large sweater that drooped over one shoulder, giving him the slightest hint of the name, his name, written on her shoulder. Absentmindedly, she tossed a lock of wavey blond hair over her shoulder after it had fallen into her face and he felt his hands itch with the temptation to run his fingers through the strands that he knew were as soft as silk.

Clearing his throat, Bucky's gripped tightened on her keyring as he walked over to the front door. "I'm fine; as I said, I need to scope out the town." It was the same reason he had given her every time she had suggested that he say there.

'And there's no way in Hell I'm letting you go alone.'

He was apprehensive about being around people again, even if it was just a small town because there was no doubt in his mind that HYDRA was still actively searching the globe for him. But the thought of something happening to her if he wasn't there…well he didn't even want to think about that. So, without further argument, Bucky slowly exited the cabin, subtly scanning the area for movement before gently placing his hand at the small of her back and leading her towards the car.

"Did you move the car?" Confusion and amusement colored her words as Maddie gestured towards the SUV. He had indeed moved the car earlier that morning after making a sweep of the area. He had parked it both sideways so that the driver's door was parallel to the front door and also as close to the porch steps as possible. Effectively making it both an easily assessable escape route and a reliable form of cover, should they need it.

"Yes, until we can more easily fortify the area, using the SUV as cover is the quickest way." He said forcing his tone to be calm but firm, hoping she wouldn't fight him on this. He silently led her around to the passenger side, keeping as much of her body cover by his own as possible. Even with his mind focused on the forest around them; it was her silence that had Bucky troubled.

'Shit, it was too much too soon. Did I scare her?'

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The light misting of rain they had driven through turned into a slow and gentle fall as they pulled into the parking lot of the hardware store. Finding a spot was easy enough, and after turning in and shutting off the car, Bucky quickly jumped out and told Maddie to wait. Without even thinking about it, he made his way over to her side of the car to open her door.

'Where…where did that come from?'

The idea of opening the door for her had been, instinctual, natural even, like he had always been opening doors for her.

"Why thank you, kind sir," the smile she gave him stowed the darkness that had been dogging his thoughts the whole drive here, and he smirked down at her. "Such a gentleman." Grabbing a cart from the cart corral next to the car, they begin to make their way through the parking lot when suddenly the sky opened, and the rain began to fall in earnest.

"Damn." Stopping to adjust his hat and put up the hood on his coat; Bucky only just noticed when Maddie grabbed the cart from him and made a mad dash through the rain.

"Come on!" She laughed back at him as she picked up speed, jumped up onto a bar at the bottom of the cart, and let it take her away. "Hurry up slowpoke, I'm going to melt in all this rain." With a chuckle of his own, Bucky raced after her. He caught up to her easily, taking control of the cart, and ran through the rain tell they were under the awning, where he slowed them to a walk.

Her laughter rang out around him and he had to move closer to her as she let go of the handle and leaned her weight back against him; trusting him to support her as they walked into the store.

"Can I ask why you're going to melt in the rain? Are you a witch?"

She stepped down from the cart, tossed her purse into it, and grinned up at him. "Oh, so you've seen The Wizard of Oz? At least you're not completely starting from scratch. And no Tin Man," she said teasingly while bumping into his shoulder. "It was something my mom always used to say when I was a kid. She would say 'Maddie we have to run, were made of sugar, were going to melt!' I always thought it was so funny, so I guess it just stuck with me."

He could feel a smile tug at the corner of his lips as he led them around the store. Suddenly a hesitant pressure against his elbow caught his attention and he looked down to see Maddie's hand cupped around his metal arm, her fingers timidly holding onto his coat. "Is this ok?" Her words were tentative and barely above a whisper as if she were slowly dipping her toe into icy water. This was probably for good reason because his first thought was to move his arm away from her as quickly as possible. But…instead, he slowly moved his right hand to intertwine with her own, giving it a gentle tug as he maneuvered her to cross to his other side, settling her close, with his hand still in hers. "This is better." He mumbled; warmth filling his chest when she nodded her head and squeezed his hand.

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"That one should work, what do you think?" Bending down, Bucky grabbed a black and orange toolbox that Maddie had pointed to and put it into the cart.

"It should be fine." Turning the cart around, they started for the front of the store to check out when an employee walked into the aisle and smiled at them.

"Hello there, how are you two doing? Is there anything I can help you with?"

Giving the man a quick once over, Bucky immediately knew that, if this guy was to make a move, he could be taken down easily. The man couldn't hold a candle to himself if push came to shove.

'Early thirties. 5 ft 10 in. Athletic build. No obvious sight of any weapons but most items in the store could be used as one. No radio headset. Backup could be close, but I would have noticed, so most likely alone. Maddie's safety is the top priority. Extraction. The front entrance is closer to the vehicle, but the back entrance is closer to us; 23 ft back and 25ft to the left.''

Plans were quickly made and disregarded, recalculated, and tweaked in his mind at a lightning pace. Slowly he reached out to tuck Maddie under his arm when suddenly she moved into his side, looping her arm around his waist.

"I think we found everything we needed; we were just looking for a toolbox." Her continuing the conversation had thrown Bucky for a moment, but he hadn't become a top HYDRA Assassin without being able to quickly adapt and maneuver any situation to his favor.

"Oh? Well, Ridgid is a great brand. It might be a bit more than you need but I can promise you that it will last for as long as you need it; no problems at all." The man continued to stand in front of them and Bucky tensed, ready for anything.

"Oh great! Yeah, it's probably a bit much but we're planning more remodels," Maddie nudged his hip playfully and he glanced down long enough to catch her grinning up at him. "He's added quite a few more things to my 'Upgrade the cabin list' so I'm sure it will be put to good use." She giggled at their inside joke, leaning more of her weight into his side. "Actually," turning she tugged at his arm a little to get his attention and Bucky looked down at her again. "Didn't you want to see if they had any home security systems, honey?" She said grinning up at him. Shining her light at him.

'Honey. Honey. Honey. Honey?'

The pet name rolled around in his mind like a tumbleweed, picking up all his other thoughts and tangling him up in the implication of the word. He liked calling her doll, but it was something instinctual like opening her door. Something that he knew was a holdover from his life in the past, but for her to so easily do the same with him filled his heart with affection for his sweet girl.

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The trip into town proved to be very fruitful and pleasant, for the most part. After the employee had directed them to the right section of the store, Bucky was able to calm his suspicions long enough to find an alarm system and the tools to install it. It was a simpler model, which wasn't ideal, but it was easy to set up, didn't need a WIFI connection, and had enough sensors to attached to all the windows and doors, so for now, it would do.

Then on their way back, Maddie had insisted on getting pizza from a restaurant she had been in before, so now with one thing crossed off their (his) to-do list; Bucky sat with Maddie on the back porch, eating a very good slice of pizza, enjoying the rain as it fell around them, and listening to a soft song that crooned out of Maddie's phone.

"We need to get some proper patio furniture out here." She muttered around a slice of her pizza as she shifted in her seat. They had moved two dining room chairs outside but, she was right, it wasn't the most comfortable way to eat outside. But Bucky hardly noticed as the feeling of warmth spread in his chest, something that seemed to happen every time she said the word 'we' like they were a team, and she was planning the small steps in their future together. It soothed his mind in a way that he hadn't been able to do for himself; filling his soul with her light and support like she was his own personal angel. He didn't think she even knew just how much that one word meant to him.

Finishing his sixth slice, Bucky leaned back against the chair with his legs stretched out in front of him and heard Maddie snort in amusement next to him. "You finally full soldier? I swear this same pizza usually last me for at least a few meals," shaking her head, Maddie chuckled, "We're going to need to get two from now on."

There was that word again.

"Yeah, well at least I don't eat like a bird." He teased right back, and boy did that feel wonderful.

"I love this pizza; I'm going to enjoy every…single…bite." She emphasized every word with a leisurely bite, that only drew his attention to her mouth; to the lips that were a slightly darker shade of red from eating said pizza. Suddenly they were all he could focus on.

'God she's cute. Fuck, get a hold of yourself Barns.'

"Do I have something on my face?" Her question drew him back and his eyes caught on hers.

"No doll, you're perfect." The color that suddenly bloomed on her cheats had his lips spreading into a smirk.

"Are you flirting with me, Mr. Barns? Where did this come from?" She said, her eyes alight with joy.

"I don't know, I guess you just bring it out in me." Her giggle was music to his ears, and he found himself sinking deeper into her striking green eyes until she broke away to grab her cup of wine from the floor. He watched as she took a drink, set it down again, then looked right back at him with a strange expression on her face. Suddenly the vibe between them changed but he couldn't point his finger at what it meant.

"What?" He prompted when she continued to look at him. "Do I have something on my face?" His repeat of her earlier question got him a smile and he watched her shake her head and look away. "Were you going to say something?" Not wanting to drop the sudden change between them, he pushed.

"What do you mean?" Her answer was too quick, the smile she gave him too bright. "I wasn't going to say anything."

"Doll, if you're going to lie to me, you're going to have to be way better at it than that." He chuckled and picked up his own glass; enjoying the taste of a soda that he had never had before tonight.

The silence next to him had him searching her face for an answer. She looked nervous, she was even fiddling with her fingers and he tensed wondering where this was going to go. "Maddie? What's wrong?" That got her attention and she looked at him, this time with a real smile, not as bright as the ones he normally got from her, but it was enough to calm his racing mind.

"Nothings wrong Bucky, I just…" She broke off, fiddling with her fingers. "I just…do you…" She stopped again before softly muttering to herself. "God, why am I so nervous? It's so silly." She chuckled and he felt the weight lift from him. "So umm," her face was growing red again and this time she wasn't looking at him at all. "Are you a camera?"

'What?'

"What?" Genuinely thrown off base, Bucky leaned forward to stare at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?" He watched as her face turned bright red and she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Because every time I look at you, I smile."

Maddie chuckled nervously into the silence, but all Bucky could do was stare at her. Then all at once, he understood what she was trying to do, and he almost fell out of his chair in laughter. A muffled groan cut through his amusement, "Oh God, that was so bad. You were flirting so I thought I would flirt back, and then I remembered a pickup line from a really bad book my friend has and, oh God that was so terrible."

Regaining his composure, Bucky sighed feeling lighter than he could ever remember feeling. "That was from a book? Oh, sweetheart, you should burn that book." Smirking at her, he turned his body to face her. "Do you know any more?"

"Oh yeah. 'Can I follow you where you're going right now? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams!'" She told him, grinning like a fool. "Oh, and this one is so bad. 'I'm in the mood for pizza. A pizza you, that is!'"

"Wow, that one was the worst. What book is this?"

"A friend of mine likes really cheesy joke/humor books and one of the ones she has is nothing but bad pickup lines. I remember Amy, Callie, and I used to go through the book trying to find the worst one. For Christmas last year we got Callie a book that is just a list of the funniest sexual innuendos; so let's just say Callie has a wonderful sense of humor."

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The conversation slowed after that; Maddie talking about the last year. She told him more about her father, her friends and mentioned just how hard it was for her still to be alone with her thoughts, hence the music that played softly from her phone. "When was the last time you had a breakdown or something like that?"

Her silence had him wondering but before he could ask, she laughed nervously. "Umm, well it was actually just a few days ago."

"What happened?" He spoke softly, trying to convey without saying more, that she could talk to him about anything.

"Well," She looked at him, eyes searching his face for something. "It was a few days into you leaving actually." She said it softly, but he felt like she had hit him.

'My leaving did…no, please no.'

"It's actually kind of embarrassing; please don't be upset or hold it against me or, God you're going to think I'm crazy but I'm not I swear...it was…this, us, is a big deal for me." She was rambling. "Just, I umm, I sat out here for a while waiting for you to come back. To tell you the truth, that's probably one of the reasons why I got sick, it seemed like a good idea at the time, like if I just looked hard enough you would be there walking through the trees and I umm." She finally stopped and Bucky had a hard time meeting her eyes.

'Fuck I'm such a dick. She was suffering because of me and now she almost couldn't tell me about it because she was too nervous.'

Looking over at her, Bucky saw his soul mate huddled on her chair, rubbing her hands up and down her arms, looking too alone for him to accept. "Doll," getting her attention, he took one of her hands in his and pulled her over to his side, letting her sit across his lap with her legs draped to one side, as he wrapped his arm around her back. "Maddie I'm so sorry I put you through that. I told you I freaked out but," he lifted her chin and brushed his finger across the almost healed line that marred the smooth skin of her neck. "But this was because of me. I've been having these weird dreams and well," she looked up at him with wide curious eyes and he almost lost his nerve. "It involved the other part of me, the Winter Soldier part, and when I woke up I…"

He couldn't say it.

"I could never hurt you, that's why I left because hurting you, would be the end of my world, the end of me." A soft hand touched his cheek and he looked down into green eyes that swam with tears. His arms tightened around her and he pulled her into a hug.

"You are a good man Bucky. Smart and strong, with a soul made of iron. You're the most amazing man I have ever met." She leaned her forehead against his and he trembled in her arms. Their noses brushed and he felt her take in a shaking breath, it shuddering out against his lips.

"Maddie I," her eyes closed, and his followed. "I'm so afraid you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself." Her fingers tentatively moved to run through his hair, and he realized that his own fingers were already tangled in hers.

"And I wish you could see you the way I do." She whispered that against his lips, and finally, his control snapped. Cupping the back of her neck he met her lips in a soft sweet kiss, the feeling of her driving away all thought, all the darkness, all his doubts and fears. He pulled her closer, tilting her head to deepen the kiss.

The feeling of her body pressed against his was the sweetest temptation he had ever experienced, then she shuddered against him and it was almost too much. The thought of taking her inside, laying her down, and pressing every inch of himself against her shocked his senses. He didn't think that, before HYDRA, a woman had ever affected him that way this woman, his Maddie, no his soul mate, had. But that made sense, she was his other half, the perfect piece of his soul that had been lost to time.

Fuck! He couldn't get enough of her, but he reluctantly broke the kiss to take in the air that his traitorous lungs insisted that he needed, then he breathed out her name; groaning when Maddie responded with a little needy breathy noise of her own. Her mouth opened just the slightest bit and his tongue found hers, the taste of her boiling his blood. Her hands dropped to his shoulders, fingers digging in, and he was lost.

He changed angles again, pressing his metal arm across and up her back, holding her tighter, taking more, wanting everything she could give him. But, as he already knew: Luck was never on his side for long. Reaching down, he maneuvered her legs to rest on either side of his hips and leaned heavily against the chair. His momentum, however, didn't stop till the back of the chair, followed swiftly by the back of his head, hit the deck with a loud crack.

Dazed, and with the wind knocked out of him, Bucky gazed up at the woman who was now sitting on his stomach, hands planted on either side of his head, and looking at him with the same amount of confusion that he had clouding his brain. However, his girl seemed to regain her senses much faster than he did, for he soon found himself watching as she leaned back against his knees, threw her head back, and laughed like this was the funniest thing she had ever done.

"Oh God Bucky!" She couldn't even speak around her laughter. "Are you ok?" Her eyes met his and he watched as she wiped at the tears that ran down her face. She had on the biggest brightest grin he had ever seen, and he couldn't stop the answering smirk the tugged at his own mouth.

"Fine," he coughed, trying to catch his breath. "Are you laughing at me?" She rolled off of him and stood, reaching a hand down to help him up.

"Not at you honey, it's just that, that was the best kiss I've ever had, and it was followed up by this." She waved her hand towards him and the chair. "Oh yeah, EVERYTHING about this was just…amazing. Awesome, 10 out of 10, would fall for you again." That got her giggling again. "Sooo," She elongated the word as she crouched down and put her phone in her back pocket. "How about we continue this somewhere that softer?" She all but purred the question, rapping her knuckles against the wood to emphasize her point.

Bucky didn't think he had ever gone from flat on his back, to on his feet and moving, as fast as he did at that moment. Grabbing her around the waist in a football tackle, he maneuvered her over his shoulder and was inside, closing and locking the back door within seconds. "No wait! The chairs!" Maddie said around another bout of giggles as he carried her deeper into the cabin.