A/N: Happy Petty Friday! And don't forget to check out our new Christmas fic, Underneath the Tree. Both Pettyville and Underneath the Tree will be updated weekly :)
- alrightginger & women-inthe-sequel
Chapter Twelve: Pennies and Dimes
"Macdonald," Lily said, opening the door to their apartment, "we have some work to do."
"Hm?"
Mary was sprawled on the couch, an abandoned novel on her stomach to hold her place while she scrolled through her phone. She scooted up to lean her back against the arm and looked to the front door.
"We need to figure out who Prongs is."
"Prongs?" Mary looked surprised for a moment but quickly smoothed over her features. "The guy you're texting?"
"Yes," Lily said, dropping her bag by the door and tugging the ponytail out of her hair. "He can't be that hard to find. I know he's on campus."
"Why do you want to figure out who he is?"
"What do you mean, why? When have you ever known me to be okay with not knowing something?"
"Isn't some of the fun in texting a random wrong number the mystery behind it all though? I mean, you can't find that in any other relationship, right?"
Lily crossed the room and pushed Mary's feet so she could sit on the end of the couch. "It was a fun mystery, at first," Lily said, "but then it got complicated."
"Complicated how?" Mary asked.
"For one thing, I got all those… feelings. They made everything so confusing before my date with James. Then I went out with James, and everything… Everything is good. So good. What if I missed that? I don't want to miss something else because I'm confused and don't know who this guy is. And for another…" Lily looked over at her. "He kind of already figured out who I am."
"Whaaat?" Mary said, drawing the word out so it sounded unnaturally high pitched. Lily knitted her brow. "No way! He knows who you are? I just - I can't believe that! How even - are you sure?"
"Um, considering he told me that he knows and used my last name?" Lily said, eyeing her friend suspiciously. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure."
"Oh, I guess that makes sense," Mary said, her face turning bright red. "And you want to know who he is?"
"Yes," she said, propping her feet on the coffee table. "Hence the work we have to do. I've been going back over some of the texts to try to find some clues. I think he has to be someone we know, at least a little bit, if he was able to figure out that Val is me."
"Okay. Let's do this then," said Mary, shifting in her seat so she sat a bit straighter. "What have you got so far?"
"Not much," Lily admitted. "I know he has a best friend that he talks about a lot. Oh, and there's a girl he likes. They went on a date, but he hasn't told me much about what happened since other than the fact that it went well. That's all… not so helpful without names."
"Hm," Mary hummed noncommittally.
Lily took out her phone to look over the messages. She stopped, however, when she saw a recent conversation name.
"I almost forgot!" Lily turned the screen to Mary, showing her chat history with Padfoot. "Maybe his best friend is better at letting things slip."
"Padfoot," Mary said, leaning over to look better. "What kind of name is that?"
"About as good as Prongs," Lily said. "He told me it was something that stuck from when they were kids." She paused in typing her message to Padfoot. "That's probably a hint. How many people at college are still friends with the people they knew growing up?"
"Probably not many. What are you going to say to Padfoot?"
"I have to play it cool. Ask him questions that he doesn't know are searching for hints and hope he drops something."
Mary nodded in approval. "Simple enough."
Me: long time no talk! what have you been up to?
When Lily hit send, Mary's expression turned thoughtful. "You don't think he'll find it suspicious at all that you're trying to talk to him right now?"
"Prongs is making a game out of it. I bet he told Padfoot," she said, aiming for it to be breezy. She tried her best not to expect an immediate response at the exact moment she decided to text him. "The secret, I think, is going to be convincing Padfoot that it's more fun to mess with Prongs than it is to mess with me."
"Somehow I don't think that'll be too hard," mumbled Mary underneath her breath.
"He'll probably tell me something," Lily said, poking Mary's arm. "Who doesn't like to mess with their best friend every once in a while?"
"I guess you're right," Mary said, poking her back. "Do you think he knows who you are? Like, do you think Prongs told him?"
Lily opened her mouth to respond, but the buzzing of her phone cut her off. She held it where both she and Mary could read the words.
Padfoot: 'Lo Evans
Padfoot: How are you on this fine afternoon?
"Yeah," she said, deadpan. "I think he knows."
In the moment, Lily couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh or find Padfoot so she could shake him until he told her the answer. If she was honest, it was a bit of both. Her frustration level at herself for not figuring it out yet rose a notch.
"So he does," Mary said. She leaned in closer. "Oh, ask him how classes were today or something. Something easy, but also something that could be a slip up."
"Okay," she agreed.
Me: just fine
Me: how are your classes?
Me: are you forgetting about me bc of studying? ):
"Oh, that's good," Mary approved. "Make him feel guilty."
Padfoot: I would never
Padfoot: And that includes both studying and forgetting about you
Me: I guess you aren't trying to impress a cute girl in your class like Prongs
Me: has he become more… studious?
Padfoot: I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate me trying to impress any cute girls
Padfoot: and lol no.
"A boyfriend!" Lily announced. "Padfoot is Prongs' childhood best friend with a boyfriend!"
"I'll make a note of it," Mary said, taking out her phone. "We ought to keep a list of whatever we find out."
"Good call."
Me: is class girl distracting him in other ways?
Padfoot: ...you could say that
Lily let out a huff. "So maybe he's not that easy to crack."
"Drats," grumbled Mary. "He's got his guard up. We're going to have to take a different approach."
"What do you suggest?"
"Maybe…" Mary paused, tapping her chin. Suddenly, she turned to Lily, her smile devious. "You can't really talk to Prongs about James, right? What if you talk to Padfoot about James? Gush about him a little. Gage his reaction."
"His reaction to… James?" Lily asked. "You think he knows him? Or that it will narrow down who Prongs could be?"
"He might know him. We could at least figure out his circle of friends this way, don't you think? If he doesn't know James, they must run in different groups."
"I guess so," Lily said. "They know of me, at least, so maybe they know James too. I'll see what he says."
Me: I guess I can't blame him too much
Me: I've been a little distracted myself (:
Padfoot: Oh really?
Padfoot: Do I even want to know why you're so distracted
Padfoot: Will it make me gag
"Ugh," groaned Mary. "He's so dramatic."
Lily grinned. "I know a few people like that." She elbowed Mary teasingly while typing out her next message.
Me: my roommate says we're cute 0:)
"Did I now?" Mary asked, leaning against Lily's shoulder to keep track of the messages. "I don't remember that."
Padfoot: I'm certain Macdonald said no such thing
"Okay," Lily said, turning the screen toward Mary. "When do we decide this is weird?"
"You became friends with a wrong number who also goes to our school." Mary shrugged. "I think we're past weird, to be honest."
"Okay, okay. Fair," Lily allowed. "If he knows about you, he doesn't just see me in class or on the quad sometimes. This means we have to know them. Actually know them."
Me: she's totally thinking it
Padfoot: Mary can't think past Fenwick's lips
Mary laughed at this. "He's got a point, you know," she admitted. "I'm not sure what that boy has done to me, but mercy."
"He definitely knows you. Maybe he saw you at the party. Did you talk to anyone, or were you with Benjy the whole time?"
"I talked to mostly Benjy, and even then we didn't do much talking. If you know what I mean."
Mary grinned, waggling her eyebrows.
Lily gave her a level stare. "I live with you, Mare. I absolutely know what you mean." She slouched on the couch, thinking through the boys who might know them well enough to guess her identity.
She tapped idly on her phone until a name stuck out from the rest.
"Wait." Lily sat up. "Do you think Prongs could be Benjy?" Lily started to keep a count with her fingers, putting one up for every statement. "James says he's known him for a long time, so he has childhood friends here. He knows me. He definitely knows you. He could have figured it out when…" Her eyes widened. "He knew when I was going on my date with James! He could have figured it out when I said I was going out with someone!"
Mary frowned. "If it were Benjy, don't you think he would have told me as soon as we started dating? I don't think he'd keep something like that from me."
"I haven't told Prongs that you know about him. Maybe he doesn't know to tell you," Lily said. "Besides, as soon as Prongs found out, he texted me to turn it into a game. It could be his way of helping his girlfriend's best friend get to know him better."
"I don't think it's him," Mary said, shaking her head. "He doesn't talk like Benjy. Here." Mary scrolled through her contacts quickly. "That's Benjy's number. Does it match?"
Lily opened her own contact profile for Prongs, but she didn't have to look for long. "No," she said, visibly deflating. "It doesn't match. Who could it be?"
"I don't know, Lils," Mary said, patting her on the arm. "But it looks like we're going to have to shelf it for now. It's almost time for you to go to work."
"Was that a pun? Does Benjy have you speaking in puns now?" Lily grasped Mary's arm with one hand and put the other to her forehead in a dramatic gesture. "You know, that might actually be more of a Sirius move. Have you noticed him making so many puns of his name?"
"I think that's more of a group thing with Sirius and them. The whole lot of them think they're so punny. It's annoying."
"At least one of them is pretty cute," Lily said, standing. This early into a relationship, she would let herself get away with being cheesy in front of Mary. "But you're right that I should head out. Have to keep my half of the roof over our heads. If Benjy comes over, don't let him eat my popcorn."
"Girl, I've already got you covered," Mary said, laying back on the couch again. "It's hidden where he'll never find it. That boy could devour a bag of that stuff in five seconds flat."
"You're the best." Lily bent to get her bag and put it over her shoulders. If things stayed slow, she would be able to get Remus to read over her essay before she turned it into the professor. "Text me if I need to bring anything home. Have fun with the boy!"
Lily: who made the first pun of Sirius' name?
James: ...probably him?
James: I can't remember. I feel like we've always made puns from his name
James: Why do you ask?
Lily: it came up when I was talking to Mary today
Lily: she made a PUN about my JOB
James: I'm so proud of her
Lily: which I'm headed to now btw
Lily: in case you need any library materials 0:)
James: Can't tonight love :(
James: I've got to finish this essay and I think I'm going to have to lock myself in my room until I do
James: Did you know you're distracting? ;)
Lily: me? distracting? what would make you say that?
Lily: sending productivity vibes
Lily: I'll try to finish all my work tonight so we can hang out this weekend
James: Sounds great
James: Maybe we can catch a movie?
Lily: I can come by your place
Lily: you know, I don't think you ever showed me your room
Lily: good luck with your essay! :P
James: shsvshnskzms
James: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DISTRACT ME
Lily: 3 3
Prongs: Soooo
Prongs: Have you found me yet?
Me: do you think I would keep it to myself if I had?
Prongs: No, I don't
Prongs: VALLLL
Prongs: I'm getting impatient over here
Me: my sister always says I love to brag
Me: is class girl not keeping you distracted?
Prongs: She is
Prongs: You have no idea how distracted
Me: clearly not enough :P
Prongs: Nice scarf today btw
Prongs: Loved all the little penguins printed on it
Me: PRONGS
Me: you're the worst
Me: (not really)
Prongs: Oh I really am. I've been told so several times.
Prongs: Have fun at work my dear Val!
Me: how do you know everything?
Prongs: ;)
Her evening of working ahead and getting homework done to free up her weekend wasn't going exactly according to plan. When Lily took over the desk from the person before her, there was a short line of students. Checking out books and DVDs didn't take very long, so they were easy to help and send on their way.
One task led to another, though. As she was about to start reading what she already had done of her essay, another group of students came in with large stacks.
It was getting close to midterms. People had apparently decided that now was the time they actually had to use the library available to them.
The first two hours passed quickly, because she had to keep up with the surge of students and get up a few times to show people how to find things on the shelves. It was good for keeping her from getting bored, but it didn't help to finish her Lit essay.
When Remus came for the beginning of his shift, she was finally settling back into her chair. She pulled up the essay again and tried to get into the mindset of a dead American author.
Then another student worker stopped by with an apologetic shrug and cart of returned books.
"I've got it," Lily said, standing to take the cart. She might as well give him a chance to focus. "You can stay at the counter, Remus. It's been busy like this the whole time, so someone is going to need you."
"Ugh, I hate exams," grumbled Remus, taking a seat. "Both as a student and as someone who works in a library. I swear, some of them act like they've never been in here before."
"They should have a section reserved during exam weeks for those of us who use the library the rest of the year." Lily started to sort the cart so all of the books would be facing the same way. "I hate when I can't find a power outlet because everyone remembers that the library exists three days before their midterm."
"Agreed. Maybe we should start a petition for it."
"I'm on board. Although," Lily said, "neither of our boyfriends would ever be able to visit."
"I don't even think Sirius knows where the library is, and I've only seen James in here that one time."
"Twice! He brought us dinner that one time." Lily started to scan the books, putting them into sectioned piles as she went. "But I see your point. Sirius can't distract you if he doesn't know where to find you."
Remus winked at her. "Now you know my secret."
"You're a sneaky one, Lupin."
Scanning books didn't require much concentration. She could do it without paying attention.
Until she recognized one of the novels wedged between two esoteric philosophy books.
Her heart rate picked up, but it took her an extra few seconds to realize exactly why. It was a copy of Pride and Prejudice, complete with bends on the spine that told her it wasn't a new edition. Her copy in the apartment looked different, but that wasn't what made her stop.
It was the same copy from a picture saved in her phone.
This was Prongs' copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Whoever checked it out last was Prongs.
Lily stashed it to the side, not wanting to explain to Remus why she needed to pay specific attention to this book. She scanned the rest in quickly and lined the cart up by the door to be taken out and shelved.
Then she was alone with the book and the potential to find out his identity.
She was almost… nervous?
Lily couldn't explain it.
She wanted to know who he was, but it also felt like the end of a movie. Once she knew, would they be able to be friends? Would they still talk to each other?
Though, if she was honest, they were already talking less. She spent the time she used to be texting him with James, and he had said things were going well with his class girl.
Maybe solving the puzzle and winning his game would get them back to that. They could chat about weird things that happened and their love lives and ignore the part where she thought she might have been falling for him.
She had James, and he was making an effort to be the best boyfriend in the world.
He was the best boyfriend in the world.
Lily pressed the button on the scanner and let her eyes dart immediately to the name that popped up on the screen.
What?
As if she temporarily forgot how to read, Lily clicked on the name. It pulled up a copy of a student ID card, along with a picture. The picture showed wild hair, familiar spectacles, and a crooked grin that usually inspired in her the desire to kiss where it started.
Prongs is -
"Remus!" Lily called, her voice going up in pitch at the end of his name. "Does one of your best friends have a nickname he uses, by chance?"
Out of the corner of her eye, Lily could see Remus visibly freeze. "I'm - um, I'm not sure what you mean, exactly."
"I think you do," she said, forcing her gaze away from the screen and to the person sitting at the other end of the counter. "Would you happen to know someone who calls themselves 'Prongs'?"
Lily could see Remus visibly gulp. "Listen, Lily. I honestly didn't want any part of this. I didn't think it was a good idea to begin with. James got it in his head that it would be fun to make you find out he was Prongs all on your own and -"
"So it is him!"
Lily stood. This news or discovery or whatever it was couldn't be taken sitting down. She had to move or pace or do something to calm the new swarm of thoughts that jumped over each other in her brain.
"James," she said slowly, "is Prongs. Prongs is James!"
Prongs, the boy who watched a movie with her because she was alone and kept her up half the night texting, and James, the boy who watched the same movie with a smirk and kept her up half the night with thoughts of kissing him again, were the same person.
Once she knew that, everything else fell into place.
A boy who went to her school. Someone with a best friend since childhood.
James was both of those things. They walked to the same campus and teased the same Sirius.
Her mind hiccuped on the other thing she knew about Prongs.
A girl in one of his classes that he liked.
Her first thought, impulsive and horrifying, was that there was some other girl. Some other girl who he saw in class and thought was so pretty and asked to see over the weekend and -
As quickly as the fear came, it vanished. There was no way. The James she knew was sincere and sweet and loyal to a fault.
Did that mean she was…?
"Oh my God. Oh my God! He was asking me for advice about me!"
"Just figured that out, did you?" Remus asked, head in his hands. He looked positively sick. "Goddammit, Prongs. What have you done? Why did I even help him?"
"You helped him?" She tried to keep her voice under control, but it was a lot to take in at one time. "More than keeping the secret? What did you -" This was a concrete detail she could latch onto while everything else was swirling. Lily grabbed her phone to go back in her message history with Prongs. "I got a text while we were outside at your house the other day. James told me to check it. It was weird, but I didn't really want to be texting at the time, so I mostly ignored it. Was that you?"
"He asked me to do it!" Remus whisper-protested. A few passing students looked over at them with odd expressions. "I didn't want to! The whole point of his game was for you to find him, so why did he want me to throw you off his trail? It didn't make any sense. But then he gave me a month's supply of chocolate. A month's worth, Lily! But then he yelled at me for not liking Bingley…"
Lily knew that part of the answer, even though Remus didn't.
"Because it wasn't something Prongs would say. If I was paying attention, I would have known that someone else had his phone."
"Bingley doesn't have the depth that Darcy does." Remus muttered underneath his breath, but Lily wasn't listening.
"He was trying to throw me off," she said as she realized it, pointing an accusing finger at Remus. "He thought I might be getting close to figuring it out, so he started to mess with me!"
She wasn't completely sure that she grasped all of the implications of Prongs and James being one in the same, but she could hook onto this.
"It's what James does," Remus said. "He can't resist a good prank. He can't resist making a spectacle out of something."
Well, that settled it.
"Then you're," Lily said, emphasizing her point, "going to help me get him back."
"What?" Remus yelped. "No, Lily! Please don't rope me into another scheme."
Lily put her hands on her hips, hoping the pose radiated all of the power those self help books claimed it did. "You helped him, Lupin, so now you have to help me. If James thinks he can prank me, he has to learn that I can prank him back."
Remus stares at her wide eyed. "Jesus, you're just as bad as him. Are you doing this because you're mad at him?"
That made her stop. In all of this, she didn't really take a moment to decide how she felt.
Was she mad?
It would be understandable. They had a new relationship, and James kept a big secret.
When she thought of his face, though, she didn't see spots. She saw the boy she talked to before Bio that morning. The one who held doors open for her and kissed her forehead when she was thinking.
"No," Lily said, feeling out the word for its truth. "It's not because I'm mad. If I was, I would be texting Mary and plotting revenge or sending him a very angry series of messages."
"Then what is this? Payback?"
"More of a lesson," she said. "If we're going to be together, he has to know that his pranks won't work on me. That I can always get him back."
Remus sighed. "What if this sets off a prank war? What if your entire relationship is who can prank who in the most absurd way? And then I'm always in the middle of it."
"He started it. This is a clear response," Lily argued. "Plus, I'm his girlfriend. Tell me, how long does Sirius actually stay mad at you?" She raised her eyebrows meaningfully at him. "The cardigans I've saved say not that long."
"Padfoot is never mad at me," Remus said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's normally me mad at him for ruining said cardigans."
"Padfoot!" she echoed. Another puzzle piece fell into place. "He wouldn't tell me anything today. This is why!"
"He never should have taken your number from Prongs' phone," Remus mumbled more to himself than to Lily. "I told him it was a bad idea."
"Well…" she said, grinning, "he can make it up to you now by helping us."
"No. No, no, no! Don't bring him into this! He - he lives for this type of drama, Lily!"
"Good," Lily said. She took out her phone and tapped rapidly. "We need to start planning."
Group Chat: Welcome to Pettyville
Me: ever have a texting friend and boyfriend who are actually the same person?
Me: or is that just me?