AN:I've honestly got like, no idea how long this is gonna be in total at this point. It might get split into two stories for time skip convenience? Idk if that'd make more sense than just keeping it all in one but I'll figure that out later. For now enjoy this chapter!
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It had taken him most of the week, but Iruka now had a list of parents he was pretty sure would let their kids come to the party. Convincing people got startlingly easy once they learned that Itachi was going to bring Sasuke and for some reason the Hyuugas would be attending. He really hoped that meant just Hinata and her parents and not the whole clan, but wasn't too sure. All in all, he was quite pleased with the list he was delivering to Rōzu.
"Hokage's office, how can I help you?" a distinctly non-Rōzu secretary greeted him.
"Oh um" he hadn't prepared for this outcome. "I was actually looking for the other secretary?"
"Out sick, any business for the Hokage?"
"Uh, I mean, no?"
"Have a nice day then" she pointed to the door.
"Right" following her very curt directions, he left..
Not too sure where else they could be, and with only so much time for his lunch break, he stopped by the Uzumaki residence. A few moments after he knocked the door cracked open slightly and Rōzu peaked out at him.
"Good it's you" they quickly pulled him inside and locked the door. "I need assistance with an issue and know you can keep secrets."
"I heard you were sick?" as far as Iruka could tell they seemed fine, the only thing that was different was the hat they had on.
"Had to call out of work, I'm either losing my mind or started sleep walking."
"Um, I'm sorry what does that mean?"
"Ok so" they sat him down and then began to pace a bit. "Every now and again Naruto has nightmares, no big deal happens to the best of us. He likes to sleep on my bed when that happens. Usually whenever that happens I have some weird dream I can't remember. I hadn't paid any mind to that before this week since it was pretty infrequent."
"Ok?" Iruka wasn't too sure where this was going.
"This has happened everyday this week, and the weird dreams I have are a lot more vivid? It's hard to pinpoint but I wake up feeling very strange. Up until today that was kind of it though, just some strange extra grogginess in the morning."
"And today?"
"Today this happened" they removed the hat to show him their now red hair.
"Your hair turned red?"
"While I was asleep yes."
"And this isn't a prank you're playing on me?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I'D WILLINGLY DYE MY HAIR RED FOR A PRANK?"
"Um" he didn't realize that was a sore spot for them. "Kind of?"
"Iruka, this color does not work for me! Imagine if everyone I knew saw me like this! I would never be able to recover."
"It doesn't look that bad?" he couldn't see anything particularly wrong with it, at first the color was sort of jarring but that was really it.
"I look like I have a tomato for a head" they stopped pacing to point at their head.
He held up a hand to try and disagree, but paused. Now that they'd pointed it out, he could most definitely see the tomato head. He decided the best course of action was to change the topic.
"Do you know why or how this happened? Did Naruto pull a prank on you?"
"You think I wouldn't have woken up in the middle of him dying my hair red?"
"He can be shockingly sneaky when he wants to be!"
"He'd have to have flipped me over to dye all of my hair, so again, you really think I'd stay asleep through that?"
"Well, no but I can't think of another explanation?" Iruka doubted this could be traced back to anything belly buddy related, but wanted to be safe. "Has Naruto mentioned what the nightmares are?"
"God yea, it's literally the same one everytime, which admittedly would lead me to believe he was lying about it."
"And it is?"
"He's in a sewer with a giant fox."
"Ah" Iruka silently cursed to himself.
"Ah?"
"That is a very common nightmare in the village" this wasn't exactly a lie, he'd had plenty of nightmares about the nine-tails.
"It is?"
"Did you not know about the nine-tailed fox's attack on the village?"
"Uh, no? When the hell did that happen?"
"About seven years ago now?" Iruka decided to not mention the exact date of it, just in case they connected those dots.
"He would have just been a baby then, can babies remember stuff like that? I know you guys start them young here but like, this village doesn't literally throw babies into fights right?"
"Oh god no! From what I understand though Naruto lost his parents in the attack, so maybe that's why he's having this dream so often?"
"That is a very traumatic event so you know, this all kind of checks out."
"No idea why your hair is red though" Iruka was mostly sure a demon that lived in Naruto's belly couldn't change someone else's hair color.
"I was so caught up in the tragic story of why my son has nightmares about a fox demon I forgot about that. Now I'm sad and confused."
"If it makes you feel better, I've got a pretty solid list of families who said they'd come to the party?" Iruka decided to try and work his reason for being her into the conversation. "And I also need to get back to work since my lunch break is almost over."
"Oh god right I'm sorry" they took the list from him and pulled him to his feet. "You're just the first person I've seen other than Naruto all day and I really needed to talk through all this. Is this why you and Jiraya were so weird together?"
"Well with us it was me feeling vindicated, you're just going a little crazy I think."
"Wow, that is so reassuring, thanks."
"I'll see if I can find anything out about sudden red hair and let you know, but I think you'll be fine."
"So long as no one else sees me like this I will be."
"Again, it doesn't look that bad."
"This just proves that you have no taste" Rōzu ushered him out.
"That is very rude!" he yelled at the door that was now shut in his face.
He managed to get back to the academy with a few seconds to spare before the kids came back inside. After making a quick note to try and find Jiraya, Iruka got right back to teaching. It was a Friday and the kids were clearly just excited for the weekend so he tried to keep it nice and easy. In no time at all the bell rang and the day was over.
"Remember to finish your reports this weekend, they are due Monday!" he shouted this at the crowd of children running to the exit. "And no running in the hallway!"
Waiting for the students to get picked up was also surprisingly pleasant. Soon enough there were only a few stragglers waiting around still. He headed over to Mizuki to make sure he could handle things.
"Naruto's mom is sick so I'll be making sure he gets back home, do you think you'll be fine by yourself?"
"I mean yeah, but are you sure about that?" Mizuki was looking at something behind Iruka.
"From what the Hokage's temporary secretary said I'm pretty sure, why?"
"Well I think that's Naruto and his mom heading out now? Was his mom always a redhead?"
Iruka snapped around to look, and sure enough Rōzu was heading out with Naruto. They apparently decided to ditch the hat from before which only further confused him.
"I'm gonna go check on that I think?" he headed over to the two.
"Go get em tiger!"
"Hey Rōzu are you feeling better now?" he decided to just cut right to the point. "You still seemed, um, fairly sick earlier."
"Oh uh" they stopped and looked at him. "That? I was just so embarrassed you guessed it right on the first try I tried to recover but realized I should've just cut my losses. I was gonna try and prank you with the whole red hair spooky dream thing, but you just caught on way too quick."
"Really?" he must be off his game if he fell for that. "Oh um, well thanks for telling me now, you actually had me going there, guess Naruto is rubbing off on you too."
"I take offense to that, I am a great influence" Naruto folded his arms and turned away from Iruka.
"What? Psh, no way" Rōzu gave Naruto's head a playful nuggie. "This lil guy is just a chip of the ol block."
Iruka couldn't quite place it, but something felt off. He couldn't say he knew Rōzu incredibly well, but he was pretty sure they were acting a little strange. Of course he could just be overthinking from that strange conversation before.
"Alright well uh, you two have a goodnight then" he decided to try and not worry about it.
"You too!" they lightly prodded Naruto. "Naruto come on, be polite."
"Fine, you too."
As they left he tried to let that thought go, but it kept nagging at him. If it was just for a prank why call out of work? They could have easily talked to him there or even now to try and sell him on it. Doing his best to let it slide he carried on with the rest of his evening. Together he and Mizuki got everything wrapped up and left early. As he prepared to head out he saw his note from before, even though they had come clean about it all, he decided to follow up on it.
"Excuse me Lord Hokage" Iruka had managed to catch him on the way out of the tower. "Do you know if Jiraya is still in the village?"
"If this is for another conspiracy story, no."
"Sorry about that once again, but no I just wanted to ask him something for Rōzu since they're sick."
"Hm, alright" he continued walking. "He's been staying with me til the party, so come along."
It was a surprisingly long walk to the Third's residence, a quaint house overlooking most of the village. He could hear some arguing within the building.
"How dare you bring this filth here!" Ebisu was pointing at Jiraya's work in progress.
"Oh, and what's this?" Jiraya pulled a copy of one of his books out of Ebisu's pocket.
"IT'S NOT MINE!"
"Ebisu, you can go home now" Hiruzen took off his Hokage robe and hung it by the door. "Jiraya you have a visitor."
"Ah perfect, I had a new theory that I wanted to get a second opinion on" he quickly threw Ebisu out the open door and threw an arm over Iruka's shoulder. "What if they're an alien?"
"I'm actually not here about that" he leaned in closer to Jiraya. "But I am so down to talk about this later, I have considered that before."
"What did I say!" Hiruzen pointed at the sign that said "No conspiracy crafting here."
"Right sorry!" Iruka bowed quickly. "I just save questions about Naruto and his um, belly buddy."
"Hm, ok, step into my office" Jiraya gestured to the spare room he'd been staying in.
Once they both were inside Jiraya shut the door and mouthed over to him. Iruka shook his head no, as this wasn't a cover to discuss conspiracies. With a shrug Jiraya plopped down on the bed.
"So what's up? Lady troubles?" he paused for a second after looking at Iruka. "Men troubles?"
"Nope it is not either of those and I'd prefer to keep the conversation away from that."
"Fine fine."
"It's actually about Naruto and the fox, and I figure you might know something since you taught the fourth Hokage?"
"A fair assumption, go on."
"So, could the fox leak out of the seal into someone else?"
"I'm gonna give you a hard no that probably couldn't happen."
"That is very reassuring, follow up question: Could it affect someone else's dreams?"
"Maybe if they slept in direct contact with Naruto? Even then it'd be hard for it to learn how to affect them."
"But it could happen?"
"I suppose so? Why?"
"Um, Rōzu mentioned having weird dreams when Naruto would sleep in their bed after having nightmares."
"Would those nightmares happen to be related to a very large fox in a sewer?"
"That is actually exactly the nightmare."
"Shit."
"Um, final question?"
"I assume I won't like this one either, but go ahead."
"How bad of a sign is it if Rōzu has one of those dreams and then suddenly wakes up with red hair and is acting a little off?"
"Well, I am an expert, and I'd say incredibly bad. Please tell me that was purely a hypothetical question."
"Um, is it ok if I lie?"
"It'll make me feel better so yes."
"Then yes it was purely hypothetical."
Jiraya took a deep breath and didn't say anything for a few moments. Iruka wasn't sure what was going on, so he just stayed on his feet waiting for him to say something.
"It didn't actually make me feel better. We should go find them like right now."
Without waiting on a reply Jiraya hopped out the window. Not wanting to be left behind Iruka leapt out after him.
"We check their home first, look for any clues and then go from there" Jiraya was more serious now than Iruka ever thought he could be.
"Got it."
When they arrived Jiraya signaled for a split up, Iruka was to go in by the door and he'd head for a window. He crept through the complex and to the Uzumaki door. By some stroke of luck he could hear them inside, now he just had to wait for the signal.
"Hey mom some weird guy is hanging outside our window" hearing Naruto call this out Iruka felt a slight panic creep over him.
"Ew get away from him" he heard Rōzu reply and then a large crashing sound from outside. "If you ever see that creepy guy again make sure to hit him as hard as you can."
"Really?"
"Yes, I'm giving you my full permission to hit him as hard as you can anytime you see him."
Iruka decided to abort his end of the mission and went to find Jiraya. It was easy enough to see where he'd fallen but the man had seemingly vanished.
"Well now what do I do?"
The reply the world gave him was for a large toad to grab him and rip him on top of a nearby roof. When he got his bearings back he could see Jiraya laying low with binoculars.
"Ok so plan A, total failure" he held out another pair for Iruka. "So now we do plan B. Stakeout."
"Why do, no I can guess why you have two of these" Iruka took the pair of binoculars and got into position as well.
The stakeout didn't offer too much info as to the motive of whatever had replaced Rōzu. They seemed to be doing just normal mom things with Naruto. Given everything that was going on, he somehow found them wearing an apron and baking cookies the most abnormal behaviour.
"Maybe I was overreacting?" as he watched them tuck Naruto into bed he felt incredibly weird about the stakeout. "They sort of said it was all a prank earlier."
"Well why the hell didn't you open with that!" Jiraya gestured to the small crater he'd made earlier. "Could've saved me a lot of pain."
"Well they are acting strangely!" Iruka tried to point at Rōzu in the apartment but couldn't find them. "Wait, where are they?"
"So whatcha you two doing up here?" their voice was now behind them.
"Uh" he slowly turned around trying to think of a good lie.
"Cause it sure looks like you're trying to peep on me, which is very weird. I can expect this from him, but you're Naruto's teacher! Have some dignity!"
"I have standards!" Jiraya apparently took offense to that.
"Oh I've had it with you" they grabbed Jiraya by the front of his kimono and hoisted him up. "You had one job, one! Take care of Naruto, and you didn't even try. Honestly it's as much my fault as it is yours, how on earth I let Minato convince me making you godfather was a good idea I cannot recall."
"What?" Jiraya had a visible reaction to their words. "How do you know w-"
"Who my husband is? Well, was."
"Iruka, things are far worse than we thought" Jiraya went deathly pale.
"What does that mean?" Iruka and Rōzu said this together, in very different tones.
"On the one hand, it means we aren't under attack from a tailed-beast" he gulped deeply. "On the other hand, I think I see my life flashing before my eyes."
Before Iruka could try and ask for clarification on that, they burst out into a fit of laughter. Jiraya managed to wiggle out of their grip and took off. Leaving him alone with whoever this was.
"You thought I was the fox?" they looked over to him once they managed to stop laughing. "Really?"
"Uh, I'm still sort of on that line of thinking since I don't know who you are?"
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm Naruto's mother" they gave him a pleasant smile. "His real mother. Kushina Uzumaki at your service."
Iruka was still very lost, but took the hand she offered him. Whatever air of pretending she'd been keeping up was clearly gone now. Somehow this was very literally a different person with their face.
"And I can tell by the look on your face you've got so many questions" she pulled him up to his feet. "But I really don't care to answer them."
"What?"
"I know you and Rōzu had a little rapport going, some cute little flirting too, but I'm a married woman so that's donezo."
"What?" he said it again but louder.
"Long story short, your little friend is gone for now, probably forever. Now if you'll excuse me, I am very excited to take a nice bath for the first time in seven years."
He just stood there in utter confusion as she left. He'd never heard of Kushina before, and Jiraya was probably long gone. Just when he felt like things were almost making sense too.
"WHAT?"