He has stirred another conflict within her. The only way to know for sure that she has her own mind is to destroy him. And yet Azula doesn't hate him. She wants to but she can't. Because he is genuine. Perhaps the only person who ever has been towards her. And maybe it is true. Maybe he doesn't have any hold on her spirit anymore. Maybe it is her own doubt now. Her own doubt and the habits she has grown into. She supposes, in some manner, then that means the Avatar still very much has a hold on her. But it is no longer physical. No longer intentional. It is just one more glaring abrasion on her psyche.

"If you need me to keep my distance, I will." He says. "If that's what it will take to get you to realize that you're the one making decisions for yourself."

"You can stay. But when I give an answer. You don't question it. Don't ask me if I'm sure. Don't suggest anything else. Just take my answer for what it is."

"Alright. I'll stay."

Azula nods.

"So where do we go from here?" He asks.

And this is precisely what she is unsure of. She thinks that getting her fire back is still the way to go. Certainly doing so would give her a much needed sense of security. And yet the very nature of her fire, down to its size, shape, and color, is wholly dependant on her personality, her spirit, her confidence. To bend her real fire requires her real self and finding her real self requires seeing that it is there in a blaze of blue.

She isn't sure which should come first when both things are so codependent on one another.

"Do you still want to firebend or do you have something else in mind?"

"Do we have many options?"

"We could go back to the Capital. I'm sure Zuko is itching for an explanation if Sangyul sent word to him about your...our escape."

"I'm sure that he framed it as a solo activity."

"Or as an Avatar going as crazy as his patient and abducting her." His face flushes as soon as he realizes that his joke was quite careless and lacked tact.

She clears her throat. "Let's just get back to firebending." Really it beats the thought of confronting Zuko in a state that is somehow more pathetic than the one he'd last seen her in. And, really, it is the only solid plan that she has.

.oOo.

It feels unfathomably wrong.

All of it feels unfathomably wrong.

Azula stands before him looking anything but confident and proud. He remembers her as she had been, chin high, a smirk on her lips, and a firm stance. Before him now she is sullen; her eyes tired and her posture is passive and somewhat slouched as if the weight of everything she has been through is physically crushing her.

"Okay, first things first, fix your stance. You can't bend well if you're so...loose." More gently he adds, "you know that, Azula."

"Yes, I do." She pauses. "But I haven't started bending yet, I'll fix it when I actually start."

He doesn't call her on it, he isn't certain that she is lying anyhow. "Why don't you just show me one of your basic katas?"

"Which one?"

"Umm...I think that there's one that goes sort of like this." He drops into a tight crouch, steps forward with fire on his heel, and throws a fiery punch. He rises.

Azula shakes her head. "You aren't supposed to add any fire to the first step. All that does is singe the grass." She lowers into the same stance and demonstrates. "The fire kick comes after the punch, Avatar."

He nods. "Zuko taught me another one. I haven't quite gotten it down but you can add a spin to the kick." He ignites his fire once more and lowers himself nearly to the floor, for aid he adds a little air to his spin.

Azula shakes her head. "I prefer less rolling around in the dirt."

"Have you ever tried that move?"

She thinks. "I suppose that I have in a way. I've done it but from above. I've also done this." She seems to hesitate for a moment before bringing fire back to her foot and kicking an elegant half circle. Aang smiles, even if she isn't as speedy, she seems to have more power behind her fire.

"Can you show me the one from above?"

"I can hardly manage that half circle and you expect me to just start kicking fire at you from the air?"

He rubs the back of his head. "Well, kind of."

He can swear that hurt flickers across her face for a moment, "I...do you know how much that place has taken out of me?"

"I know that you're...rusty. But I also know that you know how to do it still. Maybe you just have to…" he tries to think of a nice way to tell her to say it, "let yourself fall and misstep a few times."

"I've never fallen. Not since I first learned these moves."

"That's not true, you fell off of the drill that one time. It was a pretty steep drop too."

"I landed on my feet."

"Then do it again."

When she makes no move to try he sighs. "Zuko also taught me to breathe fire. Of course breathing is…"

"Crucial to firebending." Azula interrupts. "I've lost strength, not intelligence."

Aang laughs, at least that sounded like the Azula he has always known. "Then you tell me how to breath fire. Since you know so much about breathing."

"If I didn't know much about breathing, I would be dead."

"You're the professional breather so…"

"No. You are the 'professional breather'. Isn't that what air is for, breathing?"

"Most airbenders can't breathe fire, Azula." He pauses. "Anyways Zuko taught me that you have to roar like a tigerdillo and…" He throws his head back and gives a rather weak roar. The fire that works out of his mouth isn't a spetecal by any means. "I'm still working on it."

.oOo.

"The roar or the firebending aspect?" Azula folds her arms and quirks a brow. She must admit that she is faintly humored.

"You can do it better?"

Perhaps once upon a time she could have. Perhaps if she were crazed and chained to a grate with a comet on the horizon, she could. She could probably push it through her nostrils too. "Probably not, Avatar." But she can certainly roar in frustration, not that it would become her.

"You said that you wanted to firebend so maybe, try firebending."

"I said that I wanted to firebend, I didn't say that it would actually happen." She mumbles.

Aang rapidly punches several fireballs, they are rather impressive in size. He sweeps his hand up in an arc of flame and the down again. "Am I doing it right?"

"Your stance was a little tight at the end. You want a sturdy one for the punches but for a sweeping arc, you'll want to be more fluid. It is also better to think of them as one motion instead of two separate stances."

He gives it a second try but it is still too segmented. She shakes her head, "like this." She closes her eyes and inhales. She doesn't open her eyes until the kata has been worked through.

"That was incredible, if only you had your eyes open."

"It was a basic move, avatar."

"Then move onto the harder ones. You know that you can do the easier ones." He pauses. "Alright well I have another basic stance."

As it were, he has several. And he botches most of them. Perhaps that is an overstatement. He works through them decently enough but either misses a critical component or two or does the steps out of order. She takes him through them all, with a demonstration of exactly the right way to do it. Until he grows bored of the basics and brings up fire breathing again. "how do I get a powerful fire breath."

She sighs, "you're rather fixated on that aren't you?"

"It looks powerful and intimidating."

"If you're going to breathe fire, being powerful best not just be a look." She pauses. "First of all, dramatically throwing your head back doesn't really do anything. It's better if the airway is open as fully as it can be. Inhale and breathe out, several times if you have to." She closes her eyes again. "You can feel it…"

"The fire?"

She nods. "In your belly. If you know it well you can feel it rise and retract with every breath. So when you inhale and it flares up, focus on that. Bring your chi to it and shove it out in one exhale. Forget about roaring, it probably hinders the breathing aspect. It's melodramatic anyways."

.oOo.

He gives it another try to the same effect as his first attempt. Only a soft puff of fire that vanishes as soon as it meets the air.

"For an airbender, you aren't very good at breathing."

"My breathing isn't the problem I can't-"

"Feel the fire?" She asks. "Yes. I can't either…"

He gives a little hum. "Have you tried meditating?"

"What?"

"I think that you're thinking about it too much. You used to just do it. Have you tried just sitting down and focusing on feeling your fire chakra for a little while. No bending, just breathing and feeling."

Azula's brows crinkle.

"I mean, think about it. When you were correcting all of my stances you didn't put much thought into your demonstrations and, aside from not being blue, it looked like your firebending always has." He pauses. "And that's because you weren't thinking about it, you just did it."

"Avatar…"

"You asked me to train you when you should be training me. You know what you're doing. You just don't seem to know that you know."

She opens her mouth. But he can't give her the chance to say otherwise. Not when she was doing so well.

"Firebending comes naturally to you when you aren't telling yourself that it doesn't." He continues. "So sit down and just focus on your fire and your chi."

.oOo.

"Is this a comfortable spot?"

They haven't strayed too far from the clearing, just far enough that the rush of the river is no longer a distraction with its persistent burbling. It is nice enough, the spot that they have come to. There is a break in the trees so that sunlight drops a kiss on her skin and it smells rather kind. Mostly of jasmine and jungle fern. "I'd like a fire."

"Then make one."

"Get me something to burn."

Aang sighs but he wanders off and comes back with an armful of wood. She sets it ablaze and listens to the crackle of the fire for a long minute. "Now what?"

"Now you sit or lay in a comfortable position, close your eyes and get in touch with your chi and chakras." His eyes seem to light up. "I think that I have an idea! I met this Guru and he taught me how to really get my chakras in balance. But you're going to have to be willing to trust me and then do some introspection-"

"I didn't ask for therapy!" She snaps.

He lifts his hands. "Okay, we'll skip the introspection for now." She makes a mental note of 'for now'. "Right now we can just do some simple meditation. Are you comfy."

"As comfortable as a jungle floor can be."

"Great. So close your eyes." He waits for her to do so. "And just breathe. Don't even think about your fire or your chipoints yet. Just breathe."

It is strange to focus entirely on her breathing and she finds herself listening more to the crackle of the fire than to her own inhales.

"You're still very tense, can I uh…" he clears his throat. "Can I give you a little massage?" His face better be burning hotter than hers. "Just on the shoulders."

She clears her own throat, "fine, Avatar." He seems to hover his hands over her shoulders before actually bringing them down. His touch is rather nice, she supposes, he works to rub the knots out of her shoulders and neck. She knew that her muscles were taut, but not that strained. He withdraws after some time, "better?"

Azula nods.

"Okay then, just breath again." He lets several minutes go by before quietly saying, "now try to feel your inner fire rising with your inhales, like you told me to do. If it helps, listen to the physical fire."

"That's what it is there for."

He laughs, "I guess that, that makes sense. Good thinking."

"Naturally."

She cracks an eye open and catches his goofy grin. She almost asks him why he is so thrilled when he says, "hey, no peeking." And it comes to her that she has finally spoken well of herself...and quite boldly.

She feels his hands on her shoulders again. She thinks to push him away but it is rather comforting.

Very comforting, whether she wants to admit it or not. Briefly she basks in the fleeing stiffness.

And then she lets the world around her slip away. Slip until there is nothing but a crackling and snapping, a heat on her skin, and a steady and slow inhale and exhale. And she does, she does feel it. As sure as she feels the external fire, she feels her own. It swells in her belly with each inhale. Swells with a life, an itching to escape.

She inhales again and it breathes too. She exhales and lets it blaze along and over her chipoints.

She inhales and exhales until even the external fire fades out. And there is only her. She and her fire-small but growing. Small but searingly bright.