South Park Emotional Warzone Chapter 21: Bahamian Rhapsody (Part 1)
I'm Not Old!: The Grandparents' Vacation
The sun rose on the beautiful sandy shores of the Atlantis Paradise Resort in the Bahamas. The moment sunlight peered over the horizon our heroes woke up, got dressed, and prepared themselves for a nice day out…all except eight of them.
The grandparents of the bunch, Sharon and Randy Marsh, Gary and Valarie Testaburger, Gerald and Sheila Broflovski, and Jeffrey and Helen Stevens, woke up at around 9:00 A-M, about an hour after everyone left the resort. The eight grandparents tried to call up either Stan or Bebe to see if they wanted to do something together, but neither of them answered. Realizing that they were the only ones who had not left the hotel, the eight of them decided to go down to one of the restaurants and have brunch together.
Upon arriving to the hotel's brunch buffet, the eight grandparents loaded up their plates with fresh fruit, eggs, bacon or sausage, and pancakes. They found a table and they started to eat.
"Cheers, everyone to a healthy and happy vacation and may we all receive a safe uneventful trip home a week from now," Gerald said as he raised a glass.
"Amen," Helen said.
The grandparents clinked their glasses and took a sip of their juice and/or coffee before digging into their meals.
"Mmm, these pancakes are so soft and fluffy," Jeffrey said, "I haven't had pancakes quite like this since I was a kid."
"So what do you all want to do today?" Sharon asked her husband and the six others.
"Haven't really given it much thought, Sharon," Valarie said.
"We should think of something to do today," Gary chimed in, "We're here for only a week. Might sound like a lot of time but it catches up on you real quick."
The grandparents began to converse and think up ideas on how to spend this beautiful day and a few moments later a waiter came up to their table with the bill.
"I got this," Randy said as he grabbed the bill and looked at it. When he looked at the total he noticed that it was much cheaper than he had expected. Further examination revealed that they were given the Senior Discount. Seeing that made Randy gasp in shock.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Sharon asked.
"They gave us a senior discount!" Randy answered.
"So, what's the big deal?" Sheila asked
"These people here are implying that we're old!" Randy said.
"They didn't imply nothing, Randy," Gary said, "Besides, in case you didn't notice, all eight of us are a little bit past 60."
"Yeah, but none of us are 65, the appropriate age for a senior discount and the age in which you know you're officially old." Randy said, "It's just doesn't feel right!"
"I say who cares if we're seniors or not," Helen said, "If it means we get things cheaper who cares?"
"But I feel attacked," Randy said as he stood up from his chair, "He just assumed that we're seniors just by looking at us. So, what if our hair is starting to grey a little and our bodies are starting to see some wear and tear? We can be just as spry and lively as any youngster here!"
"Okay, Randy, you've made your point," Sharon said starting to feel embarassed, "Just pay for the meals before you embarrass us any further."
Begrudgingly Randy sat back down, payed for the brunch, and finished eating.
With brunch finished, the eight grandparents decide to go for a walk along the beach. The local Bahamians also decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather by hanging out on the beach, and the grandparents saw them all enjoy whatever beachside activity they were currently partaking in.
They saw families having barbecues and picnics, those in the water who weren't swimming were surfing and jet skiing, in the distance were some fishing boats, there were some people who were taking their dogs out for walks. The beach was clearly the place to be if you were looking for a good time.
"Wow, I guess everyone had the same idea to come out here," Valarie said.
"I almost regret leaving my swimsuit back at the hotel," Gerald said.
"Cheer up, honey, we'll be here all week," Sheila said.
As they walked, Sharon noticed that Randy still looked upset.
"Randy, dear, are you okay?" Sharon asked worried.
"I'm not old…" Randy responded.
"Are you still bothered by that, Randy?" Jeffrey asked, "Let it go, man, don't let it ruin your day!"
"I'm just not old," Randy said, "I don't know why he would think I was old enough for a senior discount. If he gave it to me two years from now then that's okay, but he gave it to me at the age of 63, no where near the required age of being a senior. So I've been psyching myself up by saying that I'm not old and I'm never going to be old."
"Randy, everyone grows old eventually," Helen said, "We've all made peace with that fact why can't you?"
"Admitting I'm old means I'm admitting that I'm getting closer to death!" Randy said, "I'm not ready to die! The fire in me is burning bright! And I'll prove it to you all, watch!"
Randy ran onto the beach as his wife and six friends followed, shaking their heads as feelings of embarrassment overwhelmed them. Randy ran up to some teenagers playing volleyball and talked to the most muscular one there.
"Yo wassup, dude?" Randy said trying to sound cool.
"Hey, man, what's up?" The muscular teen asked.
"You want to know what the deal is?" Randy asked, "I want you to deal me into this game. Let me serve up this next round."
"Uh…okay?" The muscular teen said handing the volleyball to Randy trying to humor him.
"What the hell does he think he's doing?" Sharon asked.
"Alright dudes, I call this move 'Randy's Handy Dandy Meteor Ball!' Randy shouted as he threw the ball in the air, but as he was leaning back ready to hit the ball he felt a sharp pain in his back and he fell down, "AGH! MY BACK! I THREW OUT MY BACK!"
Some of the other teens there started to snicker and talk amongst themselves, but the muscular teen just looked worried for him.
"Uh, you need help dude?" The muscular teen asked.
"No…I'm fine…I just have to crawl over to a bench and sit down," Randy said as he began to crawl away, passing wife and six friends on the way to a bench.
"Yeah you sure showed us a thing or two," Jeffrey said sarcastically before Sharon and Gerald helped him on his feet.
"Are you okay, Randy?" Gerald asked.
"Yeah, Gerald, I'm fine," Randy said feeling his pain dissipate a little, "I just need to find another way to show my youth."
When Randy's back went back to feeling 100 percent better the eight grandparents continued their beach stroll.
Sometime later, they were in the mood for some lunch, so they stopped off at a food truck. Sharon and the other six ordered normal stuff like burgers, fish and chips, or hot dogs, but when it was Randy's turn to order, he ordered a plate of nuclear hot wings.
When the food was ready, Randy got up from the table where they were sitting to go and get it. He returned and gave everyone their lunches. When he placed the nuclear hot wings in front of him his wife and six friends just stared at him and the wings.
"Just looking at that is giving me IBS," Jeffrey said.
"What up with the nuclear hot wings, Randy?" Gary asked.
"If I really am old, then these hot wings will give me the shits like never before," Randy explained, "Young stomachs can handle the intense heat from these wings and so can mine."
Randy picked up one of the wings and dipped it in the blue cheese sauce before looking at it.
"Randy this is a terrible idea!" Valarie said, "Those wings are going to incinerate your insides!"
"I'm always up for the challenge," Randy said.
"Randy, I promise you that the moment you take a bite of these wings you're going to regret it," Sharon warned.
"Honey, don't worry, my stomach of steel can handle whatever these wings have to throw at me," Randy said as he took the first bite from the wing.
Gilligan Cut To…
Randy is inside a port-a-potty screaming in absolute pain as he is shitting his brains out while his wife and friends are sitting near it listening to it embarassed. Others walk by and stare at the port-a-potty confused and amused.
"What are you fools looking at?" Sharon scolded as the onlookers kept walking on, "Keep it moving!"
"All of this over a fucking senior discount." Sheila muttered under her breath as she massaged her temples.
A few minutes later and Randy walked out of the port-a-potty, spent of most of his energy, as the foul odor of his excrement followed him.
"God, that's rancid," Helen gagged.
"Okay, maybe my stomach isn't as strong as it used to be," Randy said, "Maybe I should've ordered some wings that were slightly less hot."
"So are you done with this crusade to prove that you're still young?" Sharon asked.
"Not even close, babe, there's just one more thing I want to do, follow me!" Randy said much to his wife and friends' chagrin as they begrudgingly follow him.
At another part of the beach, a group of beach-goers are cheering in front of a soundstage as hip-hop artist Aesop Rock is giving a beachside concert. The eight grandparents arrive and Randy presents the sound stage to them.
"Behold," Randy said much to his wife and friend's bewilderment.
"What are we looking at here?" Jeffrey asked, "All I see is some hip hop artist performing in front of a bunch of hipsters, millennials, and overall douchebags."
"Precisely," Randy said, "Young people eat this kind of stuff up. To show how young I am, I am going to go into that crowd and stay for the whole rest of the show."
"You're going to stay for the entire show of a hip-hop artist whom you have most likely never heard of until now," Gary questioned.
"What are you talking about I know…Aesop Rock." Randy said taking a quick glance at a nearby marquee.
"You love Aesop Rock, Randy?" Sharon questioned, "Name one song of his."
Randy looked upward trying to think of a song name in vein before facing his wife again.
"Okay, maybe I don't know his songs that well," Randy said, "But I'm willing to branch out and try new music genres. Come on, let's check it out!"
Randy and Co. went into the crowd, but it was so crowded that they settled in the very back of the crowd. Thankfully, or unfortunately in the case of Randy's wife and friends, Aesop Rock's singing could be heard perfectly due to the audio equipment. Randy proceeds to try and bop to the beat of the music while the other seven with him just look on either bored or annoyed, some of them even covering their ears.
"All I ever wanted was to pick apart the day, swallow up the pieces, spit 'em at your species. Beached in a city of lost barnacles and leeches, night light got me when the daylight went to evening," Aesop sang.
"Woo! Rock on, baby!" Randy shouted as he banged his head to the music and held up his fist with his index and pinky finger raised.
Randy was clearly enjoying the music, or so it seemed, but the same cannot be said for his wife and friends.
"This music is too loud!" Helen complained to Jeffrey.
"What?!" Jeffrey asked.
"I said the music is too loud!" Helen reiterated
"You know I'm well endowed, that's one of the many reasons why you married me!" Jeffrey said, misinterpreting her complaint about the music.
"Good lord this guy's singing makes nails on the chalkboard sound like fucking Mozart!" Gerald said to his wife.
"If you can call it singing," Sheila said back.
"Yeah! Pump up the jam!" Randy shouted.
"Randy, quit faking, we all know you hate this just as much, if not more, than we do," Sharon said.
"Nonsense, this is a great song," Randy said, "I love listening to Aesop here singing about night lights and how they light stuff up."
"This is my first time hearing this song, and I'm 99.9% sure that that's not what he's referring to," Sharon said.
Randy wasn't listening to her as he saw some people getting rowdy down in front.
"Hey what's that?" Randy asked.
"I would've thought a 'youngster' like you would know a mosh pit when he saw one," Gary teased.
"Isn't that where people slam into each other whilst dancing?" Randy asked, "I'm going in there!"
"Randy, no!" Sharon shouted, but it was too late.
Randy ran into the mosh pit and the moment he entered it, he was heard screaming and going, "Ow, Owie, Ouch, Ouchie, Watch it!" Randy was getting thrashed in in there and the pain only ended when he somehow went flying through the air and landed in a nearby sand dune. Sharon and the other six grandparents ran to his location. Sharon kneeled next to him and looked at him worried. Randy slowly opened his eyes and smiled with a lackadaisical look on his face.
"I'm okay," Randy said with a thumbs up.
Sometime later, the grandparents return to their rooms at the resort. Randy is laying on the bed in his and Sharon's room with ice packs covering his body while Sharon is just staring down at him arms crossed and with a stern look on her face.
"Unbelievable, Randy," Sharon asked, "You've been knocked into next week, got an extreme case of diarrhea, threw out your back, embarassed all of us, and all because of a stupid senior discount. Are you proud of yourself?"
"Okay maybe I went a little overboard," Randy said, "But be honest, hon, did I look cool doing any of that?"
"NO!" Sharon yelled, "You look like the biggest jackass I've ever seen! Why are you so hellbent on your youth?"
Randy couldn't answer and just looked over at a nearby wall to try and avoid eye contact with his wife.
"Quit looking at the wall and answer me!" Sharon demanded, "Just answer me why you care so much about being young!"
"You want to know why I've been acting this way?" Randy asked, "It's because I'm afraid of death, alright!"
"What do you mean you're afraid of death?" Sharon asked.
"When I got that senior discount at brunch today it just triggered something in me," Randy explained, "When I saw it, I felt like I just came face to face with my own mortality. I don't know how much time I have left or what awaits me in my remaining years. The reason for my strange behavior is just a way of me convincing myself that I'm still that young stud you married all those years ago only I'm in a more…worn out body."
Sharon calmed down as she listened to her husband talk and let out his fears.
"I also don't know what I'll miss when I die," Randy said, "I know I lived long enough to see my children grow up and have kids of their own, but what about them? When Lyra and Junior were born, I kind of imagined watching them get married and have kids of their own. Also, Stan and Bebe are making great strides in their relationship, and I want to see how far that'll go. But above all, I know that if I'm getting older, so are you and my friends. Looking at the senior discount made me face all of your mortalities too. What if you all die before me and leave me all alone? I don't want to be alone. I don't want to die. I don't want to miss anything. I don't…I don't…"
Sharon gave Randy a warm and welcoming hug and she rubbed his back to calm him down.
"I think I understand, Randy," Sharon said, "You're acting out was just fear, fear of being alone, missing out on the lives of your kids and grandkids, and fear of death in general."
"Exactly," Randy said, "When I was younger I never thought for a second that I'd make it this far in life, and that naturally meant the concept of death was an afterthought. But now that I'm 63, the fact that death is coming for me grows more and more apparent each day, and I worry about it with each passing moment. I wish I could just take my mind off it. How do you do it?"
"Do what?" Sharon asked.
"Keep your mind off of death?" Randy asked.
"I just tell myself that my death is a long way away and I live in the now," Sharon said, "If you live your life now and think about the good things, you won't even care about death at all. I'll help you live in the now if you'd like."
"How?" Randy asked as Sharon released their hug.
"Well just because we're in our early 60s doesn't mean we can't, how you youngsters say, freak in the sheets." Sharon said with a teasing wink.
"Oh, I get you," Randy said with a sly smirk, "You packed the Viagra?"
"Of course," Sharon said.
"Okay," Randy said excitedly as he ran into the bathroom to get ready. He turned around and face Sharon before closing the bathroom door and said, "And, Sharon, sorry about the way I acted. I'm glad I had this talk with you, hon, thanks."
"Don't mention it, my young stud," Sharon said with a smile.
Daddy's Little Girl: The Tucker's Vacation
In the Tucker's hotel room, Craig is laying down on the bed watching a crime-drama on the hotel television while Heidi is in the bathroom. Lindsay is nowhere to be found as earlier she went with the Tweaks to the Gamer's Reef Arcade. Craig thought that with their daughter out that he and his wife could have some alone time, but notices that Heidi is in the bathroom longer than usual and he gets worried.
"I sure hope Heidi is okay," Craig thought to himself nervously.
Craig hopped out of the bed and walked over to the bathroom door and knocked.
"Hey, honey," Craig said, "Is everything okay in there."
"I'm more than okay, babe," Heidi said, "Come inside to see what I mean!"
Curious, Craig opened the door and saw his wife standing in the middle of the bathroom holding something in her hands.
"What's that you got there, Heidi?" Craig asked.
Heidi turned around, a huge smile on her face, as she shows her husband what she's holding: A positive pregnancy test! Craig took a close look at it and found the two lines that indicate a positive reading.
"No! Fucking! Way!" Craig exclaimed, joy and excitement overwhelming him as a grin larger than Heidi's spreads across his face.
"That's right, we're pregnant!" Heidi exclaimed, "We're having another baby!"
"My gosh, babe, that is such fantastic news!" Craig said as he gave his wife a very loving hug.
"I felt a little queasy back when we boarded the plane and that was when I realized I was "late"," Heidi explained, "Sure enough I took this pregnancy test and here we are now."
"This is truly sensational," Craig said still processing the information, "When do you want to tell everyone?"
"Let's wait until that dinner cruise Stan was talking about," Heidi answered, "Although I would like to tell Lindsay when she gets back from the arcade."
As if on cue, the couple heard a knock on their hotel door. Craig went up to it, looked through the peephole, and found their daughter and the Tweaks waiting there. He noticed that his daughter was holding some kind of plush toy. He opened the door and let his daughter in.
"Thanks for taking Lindsay out you guys," Craig said.
"Not a problem," Tweek said, "Lindsay is always a pleasure to have around."
"Did you and Heidi get some much needed alone time?" Sally asked.
"I think I got something even better than that," Craig said with a warm smile.
"What's that, Mr. Tucker?" Mimi asked.
"I'll tell you over dinner this Sunday," Craig said.
"Alright, man, well I guess we'll see you later," Tweek said.
"Later dude," Craig said as he closed the door and rejoined his family in their hotel room.
"Look what I won at the arcade, dad," Lindsay said as she showed him a light blue jellyfish plush toy with pink tips at its tentacles.
"Very cute, sweetie," Heidi said as she came out of the bathroom.
"We're glad you came back when you did because your mother and I have some very extraordinary news to tell you," Craig said.
"Okay, fire away," Lindsay said.
"Lindsay, your father and I…are having another baby!" Heidi exclaimed.
Craig and Heidi just stared at their daughter excitedly while Lindsay just stared back with a look of confusion on her face.
"So, mom's pregnant…and I'm going to have a little brother or sister?" Lindsay asked still processing the news.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Heidi asked her daughter who just continued to stare at her.
"Uh, yeah it's really great," Lindsay said looking down at her feet not sure how to feel about the news that was delivered to her.
Craig could tell that his daughter felt a bit iffy on the news and a part of him didn't blame her. In nine months, Lindsay would be transitioning from an only child of eight years to a big sister. She wouldn't be alone anymore. Any only child would have trouble adjusting to this new lifestyle.
That night, Lindsay had some trouble sleeping. All she could think about was what life will be like with a new baby in the house and what that'll mean for her status as only child. But above all, she knew for a fact that all attention will be drawn towards the new baby and she feared that she'd be considered an afterthought in the eyes of her friends and family, especially her parents.
The following morning the Tucker family woke up and Craig got out of bed to open the curtains and let in some sunlight.
"Good morning, all, how did we sleep?" Craig asked.
"Wonderfully, Craig, thank you." Heidi said.
"Eh, okay." Lindsay said with a shrug of her shoulders before getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom with her street clothes in hand, "I'm going to take a shower."
Lindsay closed the door behind her leaving Heidi and Craig alone to talk.
"I don't think Lindsay is as excited about the new baby as I thought she would be," Heidi said.
"She's probably worried about all of the changes that'll happen when it arrives," Craig said, "She's probably thinking that we won't pay as much attention to her or we'll forget about her."
"Doesn't she know that we love her unconditionally whether we have just one child or one million children?" Heidi asked.
"I don't know," Craig said, "But if it's okay with you I'd like to spend the day with her just to show her that she's is still and always will be my little princess."
"I don't mind, sweetie," Heidi said, "It'll give me a chance to check out the shops at the Marina Village."
"Perfect," Craig said.
Heidi and Craig got dressed and Heidi contacted some of her friends to see if any of them wanted to go to the Marina Village. A few minutes Heidi left with Red and Lola to go shopping, and Lindsay finished her shower moments after she left. Lindsay came out of the bathroom wearing her street clothes and she looked around for her mother.
"Where did mom go?" Lindsay asked.
"She went out," Craig said, "But the good news is that you and me get to spend some time together."
Lindsay cracked a small smile hearing this bit of news. She didn't deny the fact that she was a daddy's girl and she didn't care that everyone knew it. Lindsay gave her father a hug and Craig fetched his wallet so the two could head out.
Their first stop was the Pirates of Nassau Museum. Ever since Odette informed Lindsay of all the pirates that came to the Bahamas, a part of her was curious to learn more. The father and daughter hopped off of the bus and took a look at the building that stood before them.
"I didn't know you had an interest in pirates, Lindsay," Craig said.
"Well ever since Odette told me about the pirates that would come here to bury their treasure it kind of piqued my interest on the subject," Lindsay said, "Just what pirates would come here, what ships did they take, and what treasures did they plunder?"
"Alright," Craig said, "Come, let's go inside."
The father and daughter entered the Pirate Museum and it was just as interesting and cool as Lindsay thought it would be. Each exhibit had life sized statues of famous, or infamous, pirates, dioramas of their ships, and copies of their treasure maps. Besides each exhibit was a plaque that had facts and information regarding whatever exhibit it was next to.
Lindsay was learning so much about pirates that she had trouble retaining all of the information that was being given. She was intrigued by their lifestyle, the clothes they wore, and the jaunty sea shanties they sang were more of an earworm to her than most modern day tunes.
Sometime later, Lindsay saw another statue that really caught her eye. Grabbing Craig by the arm, she walked over to the exhibit and found a statue of a pirate with long black hair and a matching beard, an eyepatch over his left eye, and a gold earring in his left ear. His clothes consisted of a black pirate hat with a white feather in it and a picture of a skull and crossbones printed on the front, a red captain's coat with gold buttons and a white undershirt, and brown pants. The most eye catching thing about this particular pirate was the fact that he had a scimitar in the place where his right hand would be and a small cannon in the place where his left foot should be. His good arm and leg is covered in a black glove and black boot respectively.
"Whoa, this guy looks so cool!" Lindsay said.
"No kidding," Craig said, now just as intrigued by the statue of this pirate, "I've heard of pirates with a peg leg and a hook, but never a pirate with a cannon leg and a sword hand."
One of the museum's curators saw the father and daughter admiring the statue and he came up to them.
"I see you two really like this statue," The curator said.
"Yes sir," Lindsay said, "Who is this?"
"This pirate, young lady, is none other than Captain Alejandro Cervantes," The curator said, "One of the most feared pirates of the nautical world. He stood out from other pirates because of his scimitar arm and cannon leg."
"Why did Cervantes wish to go in this direction?" Craig asked, "Most pirates usually have hook hands or peg legs. This guy went the extra mile and then some."
"You see, sir, Cervantes was not your average pirate," The curator said, "He chose to steal his treasures through bloodshed rather than through sneaky tricks. He wanted to drive the point of his difference home by replacing his right arm with his trusty scimitar and his left leg with ship's favorite cannon after losing these respective limbs from a naval assault from a rival band of pirates. After that, his plundering grew worse and his death count grew higher and higher since his 'modifications' made him slaughter villages and other bands of pirates more efficiently."
"Awesome!" Lindsay said in awe, "What happened to him?"
"Well, one fateful voyage had Cervantes and his crew head up to, of all places, The North Pole, where he had heard rumors of a timeless and valuable treasure buried deep in the ice," The curator explained, "He didn't prepare well enough for the voyage and he and his crew of about 1,000 men perished. Many have tried to look for the ruins of his fleet and many have come up empty handed."
"Wow," Lindsay said.
"Freezing to death doesn't sound like an ideal way to go out," Craig said.
"No it doesn't," The curator said, "Anyway, I'm glad you two like this statue so much. If you haven't checked it out yet my wife has an exhibit in the Treasure Hoard room. Just look out for a large purple crystal."
The curator left he two alone as they went into the Treasaure Hoard room. As the name implies, it's a room that has displays, dioramas, and exhibits off all the treasures that the pirates have collected. Golden idols, jewelry, doubloons, bejeweled swords, and other valuable items where displayed for the world to see. Craig and Lindsay admired every single item in the room until they found the big purple crystal that the curator mentioned. Next to the crystal was a woman who appeared to be the same age as the last curator.
"Hey, dad, isn't that the crystal that guy was talking about?" Lindsay asked.
"Yeah it is," Craig said before thinking to himself, "Where have I heard the story of a purple crystal before?"
The father and daughter went up the purple crystal and began to look upon it, catching the attention of the female curator.
"It is quite the impressive crystal isn't it?" The female curator said.
"It's so pretty," Lindsay said, "What is it?"
"This is one of nine crystals that were created back when all existence was created," The female curator explained, "This and the other eight crystals were formed in a universe parallel to this one. This particular crystal is known for emitting a great power that gives its holder unfathomable strength. It can also be used to give energy to cities and power up a vast assortment of technology."
As the curator was talking, Craig started to remember where he had heard about this crystal. During his time in the war, he remembered Kenny telling him about how Rakish and Al-Qaeda wanted to dig this crystal up from its burial site in Cheekah Dar and use it to their own ends.
"So, is this the crystal that was buried in Cheekah Dar," Craig asked, thinking that the crystal was dug up and put on display over the course of these past 10 years.
"The crystal is still buried there," The female curator said, "This is merely a fake, but it certainly looks real enough that it can easily be confused for the real thing."
"You said there were nine of these that were made in another universe," Lindsay asked, "Do you know where the other eight are or how this crystal wound up here in this universe?"
"Nobody really knows where the crystal came from or where the other eight are," The female curator said, "The only other sighting of the crystals was well over 20 years ago."
"Oh dang, I remember that!" Craig exclaimed, "Some psychotic schmuck embarked on a genocidal crusade and we all had to go into hiding."
"What are you all talking about?" Lindsay asked.
"20 years ago a mysterious stranger named Colys tried to put an end to humanity, so he and an accomplice broke into Area 51 where the Shadow Crystal was located and that was his primary tool to achieve that goal." The female curator said, "As you can see his plans failed, but nobody has seen Colys or the Shadow Crystal since then."
"Wow, I'm learning a lot today," Lindsay said in amazement.
"Thank you both so much for listening to what I had to tell you," The female curator said, "I love studying and learning more about these crystals and it fills my heart with joy to teach people more about them. I curated another exhibit about all nine crystals in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. If you ever find yourselves there I highly recommend checking it out."
"We'll keep that in mind, thank you ma'am." Craig said.
"You're welcome," The female curator said, "Well, I'd best be off, you two have a great day now."
The female curator left and Craig and Lindsay decided to head for the gift shop to see what memorabilia they could buy. They walked out of the museum wearing pirate hats, Craig holding a bag of souvenir clothes, and Lindsay holding a bag that has a figurine of Alejandro Cervantes, a toy sword, and a treasure chest nightlight.
"That place was so much fun," Lindsay said, "I feel like I learned so much."
"Me too," Craig said, "So where do you want to go next?"
"Can we go for a boat ride?" Lindsay asked.
"I don't see why not," Craig said, "They have these things called power boat tours. They're fast boats that go from island to island so we can see them in a matter of a few hours."
"Well what are we waiting for, let's go!" Lindsay said excitedly.
Craig and Lindsay went to the nearest marina that had powerboat tours, bought tickets, and took a seat on the boat. Others came to join them and when the seats were filled, the driver closed the door and started the engine. The driver made his way out of the marina and towards the open ocean.
"You might want to hold on," Craig warned.
"Hold on for what?" Lindsay asked.
As if on cue, once the boat reached open ocean, the driver kicked it into high gear and started to speed off.
"Whoa!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"Fast isn't it?" Craig asked.
"This is so cool!" Lindsay said enjoying the ride, "It's like a watery roller coaster! Weeeeeeeee!"
There was no feeling like it; The quick speeds, the bouncing on the ocean waves, the ocean spray and wind blowing in your face. To Lindsay this was the most exhilarating experience of her life and she felt honored to share it with her father.
The boat, however, had to slow down as they were passing by the first point of interest: Dean's Blue Hole.
"On your left, you'll find Dean's Blue Hole," The driver explained, "This popular freediving spot, home to the Vertical Blue Freediving Competition, is 202 meters deep with a diameter of anywhere between 25-35 meters, and it widens to 100 meters once one descends 20 meters. To this day scientists are still confused as to what formed this particular blue hole."
As the driver was explaining things, a free diver came up to the surface from the hole below.
"Ah, there's a fellow free diver now," The driver said, "No doubt he's preparing for next year's contest."
The free diver waved at the boat and everyone on board waved back, especially Lindsay and Craig.
"On with the tour," The driver said as they sped off for another island.
The next place the tour visited was Pig Beach in Exuma, home of the eponymous swimming pigs. The driver stopped the boat to let his passengers take photos.
"And this is Big Major Cay, or more commonly known as Pig Island," The driver said, "These little piggies are well known along the Exuma Archipelago and people come from all over the world just to see them. Every time our boat comes by they always like to come up close to see if we have any food to give, which we always do."
The driver went into a compartment and pulled out a bag of cherries, "They always like some pitted fruit so they go crazy when I feed them some cherries," The driver explained as he tossed some cherries off the boat causing the pigs to swim up to the boat to eat them and so the passengers can get close up photos.
"This is awesome," Lindsay said while Craig to photographs, "I've never seen a swimming pig before."
The driver stopped feeding the pigs and went back to the captain's chair, "Say goodbye to the piggies and get some last minute photos because we're heading off," he said, "We have far too much to see."
With that the boat sped off for yet another location with Lindsay enjoying every minute of the ride.
Sometime later, the powerboat tour ended and Craig and Lindsay left the marina with windswept hair and smiles on their faces.
"That boat ride was amazing," Lindsay said, "And those pigs were so cool. I just wish I could've fed them."
"Me too," Craig said, "My guess is that the driver was afraid the pigs would bite us if we tried to feed them and then they'd have a potential lawsuit on their hands."
"I guess," Lindsay said, "Either way I had fun, dad."
"Where do you want to go next?" Craig asked his daughter.
"I want to go to an aquarium," Lindsay answered.
"I'm pretty sure the hotel has one," Craig said, "Let's head back over there and check it out."
The father and daughter left the marina and headed back to the hotel to visit its aquarium.
The Marine Habitat at Atlantis was a beautiful place. A vast assortment of sea creatures, touch tanks, and exhibits to admire and learn more about. A brief montage shows what Lindsay and Craig did at the aquarium.
Moment #1: Craig and Lindsay looking at the fish and ruins in 'The Dig' exhibit. Craig takes a picture of Lindsay standing in front of said exhibit as she spreads her arms to do a pose.
Moment #2: Craig and Lindsay snorkeling in the 'Ruins Lagoon' exhibit and a school of yellow tangs swim around them in amazement before heading off elsewhere.
Moment #3: Lindsay and Craig are looking into the Mayan Temple Shark Lagoon admiring the predators of the sea when they notice a cylindrical tube. It wasn't until they saw someone go through it that they realized that it was a slide. The father and daughter decided to change into their swimsuits and go through the slide so they can view the sharks that way. It was a magnificent experience for the both of them.
Moment #4: Back in their street clothes, Lindsay is feeding the turtles at Hibiscus Lagoon while Craig takes more pictures. When the turtles were done eating, Lindsay would gently touch the backs of their smooth and slippery shells.
Moment #5: Lindsay looking amazed at the sting rays at the Royal Ray Lagoon and admiring how gracefully they are swimming.
Before viewing anything else, the father and daughter sat in front of the window that had Predator Lagoon and decided to take a break.
"Check out that barracuda, Lindsay," Craig said as he pointed towards the large fish swimming by slowly.
"It is quite the intimidating specimen, isn't it dad?" Lindsay asked her father.
"You can say that again," Craig said before his daughter turned to him with a smile on her face.
"I'm having a lot of fun today, daddy," Lindsay said.
"I'm glad, sweetie," Craig said before changing the subject, "So what do you think about being a big sister?"
Lindsay frowned when her father asked that, "Do you really want my honest opinion?"
"Of course," Craig said, "Tell me what you think."
Lindsay took a deep breath and prepared to let out her inner most thoughts on the subject, "I honestly don't know how to feel. On the one hand I want to be happy but on the other hand I won't be an only child anymore. It's going to be one hell of a transition and I don't know how it'll effect me."
"Well you'll definitely need to learn how to help out more since your mother and I will be busy with the new baby when it comes. You'll also have to learn how to share things like the bathroom and television, but in that regard it's almost like having one of your friends live with us 24/7." Craig said.
"I don't mind sharing, and I am willing to do more chores…so long as it means more allowance," Lindsay joked.
"I'll talk to your mother and see what she says," Craig said before Lindsay continued.
"But ultimately, I'm just worried that you two will be so busy with the new baby that I'll be treated as an afterthought," Lindsay said before hugging her father, "I don't want to be forgotten, please don't forget about me."
"Lindsay, you have both mine and your mother's word, we will never, ever, forget about you," Craig said, "The way we see it, you're our first born child, our original masterpiece. We would never dream of replacing you."
"You mean that?" Lindsay asked.
"I promise, Lindsay, you have our word," Craig said as he hugged his daughter again, "We love you very much, sweetie."
"Thank you, daddy, I love you too," Lindsay said.
"I really think you'll like the new baby though," Craig said, "Especially since one of the chores we have in mind for when it comes is playing with it. You like to play, right?"
"Like all day every day!" Lindsay said excitedly, "Just tell me what you need me to do for it. I can make funny faces, roll a ball back and forth, pull a wagon, you name it! I'm your girl!"
"I knew that would get you excited," Craig smiled as he released the hug, "Come on, Lindsay, let's go get something to eat."
"Yeah, I'm hungry," Lindsay said.
The father and daughter duo left the aquarium to go find some lunch. They were sincerely enjoying their day together and Lindsay was beginning to feel more optimistic about having a little brother or sister in her life. Everything is right with the world for the Tucker Family once more.
Mimi in Love: The Tweak's Vacation
Evening has come and the Tweak Family decided to have a nice night out by heading down to the Marina Village for a mini-shopping spree and dinner afterwards. Looking up at the sky as they walked with shopping bags full of clothes, shoes, and other souvenirs in tow told the family of four that tonight and the following morning was going to be glorious. Right now, the sky had a mixture of dark blues, oranges, and a little bit of red thanks to the sun setting westward and practically sinking into the ocean in the distance. The streetlights in the Marina Village were being put on giving the area a magnificent atmosphere.
"This place is excellent," Cici said.
"And look at the sky," Tweek said, "I've never seen it look so…magical."
"Tomorrow is going to be a great day to hit the water park and the beach, guys," Sally said, "You know what they say, red sky at night is a sailor's delight."
"The beach and the water park," Mimi said with a smile, "Tomorrow is going to be a great day."
"So girls, have we done enough shopping for tonight?" Tweek said to his wife and daughters, "We have reservations at Carmine's and I have no intention on missing out on them."
"I think we shopped long enough," Sally said, "Come along, girls, time for dinner!"
"One second, mom, we're just taking a look at this nice boat," Mimi said as she and her twin sister admired the boat docked at the marina.
"It is a fine seaworthy vessel isn't it?" Tweek said.
"I can see why Felix is fond of these," Cici said.
"I wouldn't get too close, girls," Sally said, "Somebody clearly owns that boat, and I don't know how they feel about strangers from who-knows-where just staring at their property."
As if on cue, someone came from behind the family of four to talk to them.
"Excuse me, may I help you four?" The masculine voice asked.
The Tweaks were startled and turned to face the person who said that. The person in question appeared to be 16 years old. He had nice gelled brown hair, tan skin, and nice muscles underneath a gray tank top that compliments his black shorts and brown sandals. The teen was wearing aviator sunglasses which he took off to look at the family better, revealing hazel colored eyes.
"We're sorry, young man," Tweek said, "Our daughters were just captivated by your boat, see?"
The young man looked at the boat and then back at the Tweaks.
"Yeah, my uncle does have a nice boat, I don't think he'd mind if you looked at it, I know I don't," The teen said, "Sorry if I startled you all, I'm Nathan."
"I'm Sally, this is my husband Tweek, and these are our daughters Cecilia and Michelle," Sally said introducing themselves.
"But you can call us Cici and Mimi," Cici said, "Ain't that right, Mimi….Uh, Mimi?"
Mimi wasn't paying attention as just looking at Nathan's Adonis-like body was making her swoon like there was no tomorrow. Nathan looked over at Mimi and in her mind his hazel eyes were sparkling, his hair was shining in the light of the setting sun, and he shot her a smile making sure to show her his pearly white teeth. All the while, George Michael's 'Careless Whisper' was playing through her mind. Mimi had never seen anyone more handsome and she never wanted to take her eyes off of him.
"Hey, Mimi!" Cici called snapping her twin out of her trance.
"Everything okay there, Mimi?" Nathan asked the younger girl.
"I'm sorry, it's just that you're really…really…really cute," Mimi said blushing madly.
"Why thank you," Nathan said with a smile, "I try to treat my entire body like a temple, only eat foods rich in vitamins and gluten-free having a cheat day once in a blue moon, run a few miles every day. Your father understands, he seems to be a well-built fellow like me."
"That's because I served in the Marine Corps Nate, and I decided to keep this figure afterwards to protect my wife and daughters," Tweek said.
"I see, well thank you for protecting everyone of us dear sir," Nathan said shaking Tweek's hand.
"You're welcome," Tweek said cordially, "It's not everyday someone compliments me for my service overseas. Nowadays the only praise I get outside of my family and friends are my co-workers at the Bijou Theatre."
Moving back to South Park meant Tweek and Sally transferred jobs so Tweek became the assistant manager at the Bijou Theatre after working at the Cinemark Tinseltown in Pueblo and Sally became a therapist who transferred offices after the move.
"Sorry for cutting this conversation short but we all have dinner reservations and we can't be late," Sally said.
"My apologies for holding you all up," Nathan said cordially, "Hopefully I see you all around."
"I'd really like that," Mimi said cutely.
"Alright then, later days," Nathan said as he walked off in the opposite direction and the Tweaks headed for Carmine's for their dinner.
All throughout their dinner Mimi was lost in thought. There wasn't a second in all of her time at Carmine's when she wasn't thinking about Nathan. Her thoughts affected her eating speed as she ate a bit slower than the rest of her family and most of her time eating was spent pushing her food around in her plate with her fork. Tweek, Sally, and Cici knew immediately what was ailing Mimi…and it was love. A love for Nathan and his buff, tanned, teenaged body.
Mimi's thoughts of Nathan didn't wane when the Tweaks returned to their hotel room for the night. After the rest of her family went to bed, Mimi laid in her bed staring up at the ceiling wondering where Nathan was and what he was doing at this hour of night. She knew if she continued to lay awake thinking about, in her eyes at least, the most handsome man on earth, she would be way too tired to continue the vacation the following morning. So Mimi hopped out of bed and walked out to the room's balcony, looking out at the ocean and the moon's reflection upon it. She thought that some fresh air might clear her head. Mimi continued looking out into the night sky when someone came up behind her. It was Cici.
"Can't sleep?" Cici asked.
"No Cici," Mimi shook her head, "I just can't get him out of my head. His loving is all I think about. It's more than I dare to think about."
"By him do you mean Nathan?" Cici asked as she joined her sister in looking out over the horizon.
"Who else?" Mimi said, "There's just something about him that ignites this…flame inside me. Is this feeling love? Is this what mom and dad feel like every day?"
"While I can't say I've experienced what you're going through, I can safely say that you just might be in love with this guy," Cici said, "I'd be careful if I were you, though. While I am happy for you, love can also potentially be a very dangerous thing. I just don't want to see your heart get broken."
"Hold that thought, Cici!" Mimi said as she held out her hand to silence her. At this moment, Mimi saw Nathan on the beach staring out into the ocean, "There he is, my honeybun!" Mimi swooned as she went back into the room, "I'll be right down sweetie!"
"Mimi, wait a minute!" Cici shouted as she followed her sister.
Mimi slipped on her shoes and grabbed the spare room key and left the hotel room with Cici following close behind.
The twin sisters left the hotel and headed straight for the beach where they found Nathan, still staring out into the horizon, listening to the calming melody of the ocean waves and looking up at the moon, acting as nature's night light illuminating the dark world below it. Nathan stared up at the moon and smiled.
"Tomorrow is going to be a great day," he thought to himself.
"Nathan!" Mimi called out.
The tanned and toned teenager turned around to find the eight year old twin sisters running up to him.
"Hey, I remember you girls," Nathan said, "What are you doing out here this late at night? And without your parents too I see."
"W-We just couldn't sleep," Mimi said, "S-So what are you doing out here?"
"Staring at big blue…er, what was your name again?" Nathan asked.
"My name is Mimi," Mimi answered.
"And I'm her twin sister Cici," Cici chimed in, "And what are you talking about when you say 'big blue'?"
"Unfortunately, I ain't talking about a new F-Zero game," Nathan joked, "I'm referring to the behemoth mass of water before us, the ocean. There's no biome like it."
"Ain't it the truth," Mimi said inching closer to the teenager and reaching for his hand only for Nathan to put it in his pocket before she could reach for it.
"So why are you out here?" Cici asked quizzically.
"Just psyching myself up for the big surf contest tomorrow at high noon," Nathan answered.
"A surf contest, sounds like fun," Mimi said.
"Surfing is more than just a game for me," Nathan said, "Every summer for the past five years I've entered the contest, and every summer for the past five years I've won. This summer is going to be my sixth win in a row."
Hearing Nathan's enthusiasm about surfing gave Mimi an interesting, albeit stupid, idea. She heard somewhere that to make a relationship work, one person must take an interest in the other person's interests. And that's what she intended to doing in hopes of winning Nathan's heart.
"So, this surf contest," Mimi began, "Is it too late to enter?"
"I believe they accept late entries until tomorrow morning," Nathan answered, "Why, are you thinking about entering the contest?"
"Y-Yeah," Mimi smiled.
Nathan eyeballed the girl for a few seconds before scratching his head quizically.
"No offense but you don't really look like the surfing type," Nathan said, "But I've seen stranger things happen in all my years of competing. Anyway, if you really are interested the contest starts tomorrow at high noon on this here beach."
"Terrific," Mimi smiled, "I guess I'll see you then."
"Later," Nathan said as he gave the peace sign and walked away.
Mimi ran back to the hotel and Cici followed close behind her. Surprisingly however, instead of returning to their room to rest up, Mimi ran for the hotel's library and began to rummage through the books with Cici sitting back in a lounge chair and watching her.
"Mimi, you have never surfed once in your entire life," Cici said, "I'm only saying this because I love you, but you're going to make a total ass of yourself tomorrow."
"I think not, sister," Mimi said before turning back to the bookshelf in front of her, "Before me are a series of 'For Dummies' books. Surely there's something in here that'll help me prepare for tomorrow morning."
Cici just shook her head as Mimi continued to look through the books.
"Let's see, 'Alchemy for Dummies', 'Canada for Dummies', 'Pornography for Dummies', 'Quantum Physics for Dummies', 'Space Travel for Dummies...AH-HA! Here we go, 'Surfing for Dummies.'" Mimi pulled the book off of the shelf, plopped herself down onto the lounge chair next to Cici's and began reading it.
"You really think that book is going to help you?" Cici asked, "I love books as much as the next person but even I know they can't make miracles happen."
"Just you wait, Cici, I read this tonight and I'll be a surfing goddess by tomorrow," Mimi smiled, "Then Nathan will be all mine. Ah, I can see us now."
In Mimi's mind she was imagining a life with Nathan. Surfing crystal blue waters with him, marrying him on a beach with all of their friends and family there to applaud them, having a nice honeymoon aboard a fabulous cruise ship, having children with him and teaching them how to surf, and finally growing old with him; Mimi and Nathan old and in their late 70s sitting on a beach blanket staring out into the ocean as the sun sets in front of them and all the while the two of them are holding hands.
"Aw yeah," Mimi swooned, "Let's make all that happen."
Cici just shook her head and said, "Whatever, I'm going back to bed," and she headed back to the hotel room, leaving her twin sister in the library to read up on how to surf.
"Chapter 1: The Basics," Mimi began to read.
The next day, the Tweak Family went to go get some breakfast at one of the resort's restaurants where Mimi mentioned going to the beach first for a surprise, trying to hide her entry into the surf contest from her family in fear that they would object. Tweek and Sally agreed and after eating the family got what they needed and headed for the beach.
Upon arriving to the beach, the family set themselves up near the soundstage that'll introduce the surf contest. Mimi asked her mother what time it was and Sally looked at her phone to see that it was almost noon. Mimi then told her parents and sister that she had a surprise planned and to wait before heading off somewhere.
10 minutes passed and Tweek and Sally are wondering what Mimi has in store for them.
"Mimi said she had a surprise planned for us," Tweek said.
"I wonder what it could be," Sally asked.
"Trust me, mom and dad, when you see what it is you'll be praying for her life," Cici said.
"Well that doesn't sound uplifting at all," Tweek said worried.
The three of them then saw someone make his way to the main stage. This was the announcer for the surf contest and stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat.
"Attention everyone, I'd like to welcome you all to our annual surf contest," The announcer said as the audience began to applaud, "Our first contestant is an Atlantis Beach favorite, please give a warm welcome to our very own Nathan Rolle."
Everyone applauded as Nathan swam up to an oncoming wave. Once he got on it, he stood up upon his surf board and began to masterfully surf through it, taking the time to rise to the top of it and pull off some spins and even ride on top of it. The crowd went wild as Nathan came back to shore and raised his fist to the sky, a proud smile on his face.
"Wow, that Nathan kid is really good," Cici said impressed.
"Isn't that the same kid we saw at the Marina Village yesterday?" Tweek asked Sally.
"Looks like it," Sally said, "I also seem to remember Mimi was very smitten with him."
Realizing what this means, Tweek and Sally got nervous.
"Babe, you don't think..." Tweek said, begining to freak out.
Tweek and Sally's worst fears came true when the announcer anounced the next contestant.
"Our next contestant is a late entry, but like the old saying goes 'Better late than never'," The announcer began, "That being said, please welcome Michele Tweak!"
The audience applauded as Mimi swam up to an oncoming wave and Tweek, Sally, and Cici could only watch and pray that Mimi knew what she was doing.
"Mimi has officially lost her mind hasn't she?" Tweek said, his hands on his head.
"Tell me when it's over," Sally said covering her eyes, dreading the outcome of her daughter getting hurt.
"I wonder if Mimi is going to leave me anything nice in her will?" Cici said.
"You're not helping, Cici!" Sally yelled.
Out in the ocean, Mimi took a quick glance at the beach and saw her family sitting there watching and not far from them Nathan was looking on too.
"This is for you, Nathan," Mimi said to herself as she approached the wave.
Upon getting on the wave, Mimi stood up and began to surf. To everyone's surprise, even her own, Mimi started to give a near masterful performance. She kept her balance while riding the wave and when she rose to the top of it, her spins lasted longer than Nathan's did. As she rode the top of the wave Mimi decided to walk up to the edge of her surfboard, stand on her tip-toes, and hold her arms out causing the audience to go wild.
"Oh my God, she's actually doing it!" Cici said in amazement.
"Sal, uncover your eyes and take a look at this!" Tweek said.
"Mimi's dead isn't she," Sally said fearing the worst.
"No way, she's absolutely killing it!" Tweek said causing Sally to open her eyes. Joy filled Sally's heart as she watched Mimi expertly surf.
"Woo-hoo, go Mimi!" Sally cheered, "I'm so proud of you, sweetie!"
Mimi returned to shore and her family came up to her to congratulate her.
"Hey, guys." Mimi greeted.
"You did awesome, Mimi," Tweek congratulated.
"Yeah, great work!" Sally chimed in.
"I've got to say, sis, I had my doubts about you entering this contest but way to prove me wrong," Cici said.
"I told you I could do it," Mimi said as Nathan came up behind her.
"Not bad for a first timer," Nathan said.
"Oh, uh, h-hi Nathan," Mimi said as a blush overcame her face.
"You did pretty good out there, kid," Nathan said, "But you're not out of the woods yet. First the judges have to judge everyone's performance, and if they like it then you advance to the second and final round. Win the second round, and you win the whole thing."
"Sounds easy enough," Mimi said.
"Trust me, winning the second round is easier said than done," Nathan said, "I wish you luck nonetheless though."
"You too, Nathan," Mimi said with a cute giggle.
Once all of the surfers have competed, they were all called back up on stage so the announcer can announce who has advanced to the second round. He has already called up Nathan and eight other competitors, and now Mimi stands with the others who haven't been called up. Mimi felt a growing nervousness in her heart and all of her fingers are crossed, hoping that she made it to the second round. At long last, the announcer prepared to announce the last surfer.
"And last, but certainly not least..." The announcer began, "...Michele Tweak!"
"YES!" Mimi shouted with a fist pump before regaining her composure and shaking hands with the surfers who didn't advance to show she's a good sport before joining the other nine surfers who advanced.
"Alright, Mimi!" Tweek and Sally applauded.
"That's my sister up there!" Cici cheered.
"These ten young surfers have advanced to the second and final round," The announcer said, "They all need to pull off their best stuff if they want any hope on winning this year's gold trophy. So, let's get down to business!"
And with that, the second and final round of the surf contest began. The first eight surfers gave a near masterful performance, each trick they pulled off elicited thunderous applause. As the eigth surfer gave his performance, Mimi and Nathan just watched form the shoreline, blown away by their tricks as much as everyone else.
"These guys are good," Mimi said nervously.
"They may be good, but I'm better," Nathan said confidently as the eigth surfer returned to shore.
"Next up, Nathan Rolle!" The announcer said
"Good luck out there, Nathan," Mimi said as she gave Nathan a hug for luck.
"You too, kiddo," Nathan said as he headed out to the ocean and proceeded to swim out with his board.
Nathan approached the wave, it was a tall one and it was coming up fast. As he caught the wave, Nathan stood up and proceeded to ride it. As he rode the wave, Nathan jumped up and landed back on the board standing on his hands. Seeing this act made everyone applaud wondrously. The crowd went into more of a frenzy when Nathan started to stand on the board on only one hand.
"Holy smokes, that guy really is a talented surfer!" Cici exclaimed as she watched on with her parents.
Mimi was also watching Nathan's performance from where she was standing and she let out a sigh as her heart started to swoon, "He's so dreamy."
Nathan eventually made it back to shore and was greeted by the cheering of everyone there.
"And that's yet another great performance by Nathan Rolle!" The announcer exclaimed, "Michele has a tough act to follow if she wants to bring home the gold! Can she do it!?"
"Oh yes I can!" Mimi confidently said to herself as she made her way to the ocean, "For Nathan!"
"Come on, Mimi, you can do it!" Sally cheered as she watched her daughter head into the ocean with her surfboard.
As Mimi began paddling up to an oncoming wave, she quickly thought up a strategy.
"If I want to win the trophy, and by extension Nathan's heart, I need to get the most air possible to pull of a series of high octane tricks!" Mimi thought to herself.
Mimi caught onto her wave and she stood up on her board. She started to ride it gaining speed each time she descended from the top of the wave, and each climb to the top taking less time every single time.
"Come on, more speed!" Mimi exclaimed.
"What's she doing?" Tweek wondered as he watched Mimi speed increase.
"She's trying to gain speed for something," Sally said.
Once Mimi gained enough speed and momentum, she decided to climb to the very top of the wave and do some tricks in mid-air.
"It's go time!" Mimi exclaimed as she quickly rose to the top of the wave. However, Mimi had gained so much speed that she went flying off the wave and into the air.
"Too much air! Too much air!" Mimi screamed as she fell back down onto the beach with a loud thud.
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt!" The announcer said.
Tweek, Sally, Cici, and Nathan all ran to the spot on the beach where Mimi landed to see if she's okay!
"Mimi, Mimi!" Sally cried as the four of them approached the girl.
"Mimi, talk to me, are you okay?" Tweek asked as Mimi slowly sat up, "Quick, how many fingers am I holding up."
Tweek held up three fingers.
"Ow, you're holding up three, dad," Mimi said.
"Good, she didn't suffer any brain damage from the fall," Nathan said.
"Yeah, and that's the good news," Mimi said as she rubbed her left arm as she winced in pain and tears started to slowly roll out of her eyes, "The bad news is my left arm isn't so lucky. It really hurts. I think I landed on it the wrong way. Ow, and it hurts to move it!"
"Okay, sweetie, hang in there!" Tweek said as he picked Mimi up in his arms, trying not to panic himself.
"The hospital isn't far from here!" Nathan shouted, "Quick, follow me!"
Nathan, forgetting about the surf contest entirely, led the Tweaks to the nearest hospital so they could try and take care of Mimi.
A few hours later the Tweaks and Nathan walked out of the hospital, Mimi's left arm wrapped up in a cast.
"I can't believe I broke my arm," Mimi said looking at her cast in disbelief.
"Let's just be thankful that that's all you broke," Sally said.
"And let's also be thankful the hospital gave us this waterproof cast cover so you can still have fun on your vacation," Tweek said holding up said cast cover which was still in its box.
"I'm glad you're okay, Mimi," Nathan said.
"Thank you, Nathan," Mimi said with a blush, "That means a lot. And thank you for coming with us to the hospital."
"Hey, you're a pretty cool girl," Nathan said, "For a first time surfer, you did pretty dang good."
"At least until I broke my arm," Mimi said.
"Hey, it happens to the best of us," Nathan said, "I remember breaking my leg in three places once when I started surfing. Nevertheless, you have my full respect Mimi. Seriously, it's not every day I meet an eight year old who surfs as well as you do. Keep it up and you might be as good as me one day."
Mimi smiled and swooned once again, but her mood will soon change when someone else enters the scene.
"Nathan? Nathan there you are!"
A blonde girl with tan skin and brown eyes who appeared to be the same age as Nathan and wearing a brown tanktop with grey short-shorts and black sandals comes up to the group of five. She appeared to be holding a gold trophy.
"Mindy, what's up?" Nathan asked as he hugged the girl, confusing Mimi.
"I've been looking everywhere for you," Mindy said as she handed him the trophy, "They announced your victory at the surf off. You won first place again, sweetie."
"Sweetie?!" Mimi said heartbroken, "N-Nathan who is this?"
"Oh, where are my manners," Nathan began, "Tweaks, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Mindy."
"Nice to meet you all," Mindy said with a smile.
"G-G-G-G-Girlfriend?!" Mimi cried.
"Mimi, what's wrong?" Nathan asked.
"In case you didn't notice my sister had a not so small crush on you, Nathan," Cici said.
"Mimi...had a crush on me," Nathan asked.
"Not anymore, not after this atom bomb got dropped on me!" Mimi cried.
"Mimi, look, you're great kid ," Nathan began, trying to reason with her, "But I'm 16, you're 8, I live in the Bahamas you live on the mainland. It would never work between us. But listen, someday you're going to meet a guy who is just a great if not better than I am."
"Oh save it!" Mimi snapped, "Mom, dad, Cici, let's get out of here."
"Okay, Mimi, we're leaving," Sally said.
"Later, Nathan, nice meeting you, Mindy," Cici said as she waved the two teenagers goodbye.
"Bye," Mandy said.
"Peace out," Nathan said in a heartbroken tone as he watched the Tweaks head off in their own direction.
Later that night in the Tweak's hotel room, Mimi just lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling wanting to be left alone. Her parents and sister could do nothing but just watch her wallow in her own despair.
"It would never work between us, he said," Mimi lamented, "I read that stupid book and entered that stupid competition causing me to break my arm all for nothing. I don't know what hurts more, my arm or my heart."
"I've never seen Mimi this depressed," Tweek said worriedly.
"Should we do something?" Cici asked, "Her bad mood is putting a bit of a damper on our vacation."
"Let me handle this," Sally said as she made her way to Mimi's bed and sat next to her.
"What do you want mom?" Mimi asked without turning her back to face Sally, "Unless you have advice on how I can win Nathan's heart so he can forget all about that Mindy chick I don't want to hear whatever you have to say."
Sally began to stroke Mimi's hair and almost immediately she could feel her calm down. Tears of sadness came out of Mimi's eyes the moment Sally fingers started to caress her golden locks.
"I'm never going to fall in love ever again," Mimi said sadly.
"Heartbreak, I know that feeling all too well," Sally said as she continued to stroke her daughter's hair.
"Do you really?" Mimi asked.
Sally nodded, "You meet a guy and you think things will work out swimmingly for the both of you. Your hapiness is at its zenith and you feel yourself come to life when that special someone is with you, and you think this unyeilding joy will last forever...but one day your world comes crashing down.
"You learn that the guy who you thought gave his unconditional love to you and only you has been spreading his love to another girl," Sally continued, "You don't know why he would do you wrong like that, and all of these questions soon pop up in your mind: Was it my fault? Did I make him cheat? Am I not good enough? Nevertheless, as soon as you find out he's two-timing you call everything off with him and cut him out of your life."
"Is that what happened to you?" Mimi asked, finally turning around to face Sally.
"Yes, Mimi, when I was in high school someone cheated on me with another girl, leaving me absolutely heartbroken" Sally said, "After that, much like you did just now, I told myself that I'd never love again, mostly because I didn't believe I could find love again. But then something wonderful happened."
"What?" Mimi asked.
"I did find love again," Sally smiled, "And you know what, I think I loved him even more than the first joker I was with. He was kind, respectful, and I knew that he would never ever hurt me the way that first guy did."
"Who was the guy who helped you love again?" Mimi asked.
"He's standing right in front of you, Mimi," Tweek said with a warm smile.
"You met dad after that first jerk, mom?" Mimi asked.
"That's right," Sally said, "The focal point of my little story is that while break-up can and will hurt, it's important not to lose hope on finding love. There's a lid to every pot out there, it's finding it that's the tricky part though. So don't lose hope, Mimi, I know for a fact that you will find someone who will love you unconditionally and treat you like a beautiful princess.
"And we'll all be here to help you every step of the way too," Tweek said.
"We got your back, Mimi, that's what family is for!" Cici chimed in.
Hearing Sally's story and her family's words of love and encouragement made Mimi's heart soar and she started to feel a whole lot better.
"Thank you all," Mimi said sitting up in the bed, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes, "I love you guys."
"We love you too, Mimi," Sally said.
"Still sucks that I broke my arm though," Mimi said looking at her arm cast, "Thank goodness for the underwater cast cover so I can still go to the pool and the beach."
"I know what'll cheer you up," Cici said, "What do you say tomorrow we go find our friends and have each and everyone of them sign their names on it."
"Sounds like a plan, Cici," Mimi grinned.
"For right now though, girls, what do you say we order room service and watch a movie?" Tweek asked.
"You read my mind, dad!" Cici said.
"That's a wonderful idea," Sally said.
"I could go for a nice burger and some Despicable Me after the day I had," Mimi said.
So the Tweak settle in for the night with a nice dinner and a movie. Mimi had learned a valuable lesson on this day about love and heartbreak, and she knew that she would awake the following morning a wiser and more enlightened girl.
(Cue Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada)
(How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? And people who say things they don't really mean?)
(It's a sunny day and Wendy and Stan are dancing together outside and right next to them are Kyle and Bebe, who are also dancing. Suddenly, the sunny skies turn stormy and Wendy is ripped away from Stan, and Kyle is ripped away from Bebe, both couples trying in vein to reach out to one another. Wendy and Kyle go up into the sky, can the ground gives weight for Stan and Bebe to fall down)
(You're only everything I ever dreamed. Ever dreamed of, ever dreamed of)
(As Stan and Bebe fall, they are enveloped by a red colored paint type substance. Behind the paint is a shadowy figure. It smiles evilly. This figure is one of Jacques Brodeur)
(You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?)
(Stan's daughter Lyra, and Bebe's son Felix are running through a grassy plain and two balls of light fall from the sky. The light balls reveal themselves as Wendy and Kyle, who hold their hands out to their children)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Cartman is standing in front of a statue of a heart. He pulls out a gun and shoots it, causing it to break. Shelly then appears and collapses to the ground, heartbroken)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Sometime later, Cody Oppenheimer finds the broken pieces of the heart and puts them back together)
(I really don't get what everyone else believes. So why do I say things I don't really mean, really mean.)
(Late at night, Lola and Kenny are in bed. But while Lola is sleeping, Kenny is looking up more information about the crystals he heard about in war)
(I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed. It'd take this long, it'd take this long)
(Kenny thinks about General Rakish with the big purple crystal floating over him. Suddenly, eight more smaller crystals circle around the big purple one: A red one, a blue one, a green one, a gold one, a pink one, an orange one, a white one, and a black one)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.)
(General Rakish turns into another villain, Carlos Murciélago. The crystals are still floating over him, and the background changes to the grassy plain from before. The main adults and children are watching in horror at the sight before them)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Carlos summons a demon warship from out of nowhere and easily takes out the adults and younger children, much to the older children's horror)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(The children are crying and look like they're going to lose hope when an astral projection of Sir Justice appears. The sight of the unknown hero inspires the children to not give up and put the villain down. The children and Sir Justice charge at Carlos and the warship)
(If you want to take it to an even higher level. All you gotta do is say the word, you know I'll follow. If you wanna take it to an even higher level. I don't, I don't bite)
(Outside of the dream, Isabella Broflovski is looking at a picture of Kyle. Behind him Stan places a hand on her shoulder, which Isabella brushes off and walks away)
(If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible. All you gotta do is say the word, the walls will crumble. If you want to make it happen, nothing's impossible)
(Shelly gets up from her heartbreak and finds Cody holding a hand out to pick her up. Shelly grabs Cody's hand and we cut to the next scene)
(I want you for a lifetime. So if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Stan and Jacques are fighting for Bebe's affections)
(Everything is just right. But if you're gonna think twice, baby. I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know)
(Felix and Lyra are in a dark area, the look behind them to find a older, dying boy in a hospital bed. This boy is named Byron. Lyra and Felix try and run to the hospital bed to see him, but once again, the ground gives weight and the two kids fall into darkness)
(Kiss me once, kiss me twice, kiss me three times. Cross the line)
(Stan and Bebe are alone on a hill somewhere admiring the sunset. The two of them look into each other's eyes before making a move to kiss each other)
(Don't think twice, don't think twice. Don't think twice, baby, don't think twice)
(Cut to night time on that same hill where the Marshes, Broflovskis, Donovans, Tweaks, Tuckers, Cartmans, Stotches, McCormicks, and Oppenheimers are looking up at a full moon. Some of the kids are asleep, but those who are awake are enjoying the company and the beauty of the night sky)
Remember when I said this was going to be a two parter...Yeah I decided to make it a three parter, sorry about that.
Enough about that, I'm sure many of you are wondering what was the deal with the crystals in Craig and Lindsay's story, especially with who Colys is and what's the deal with the Shadow Crystal and this supposed genocidal crusade he went on. Well, all of those questions will be answered as soon as a new character makes his debut.
I promise everything is connected and I haven't gone off my rocker. You're just going to have to trust me.
But that's all I have to say on that front, until next time, WildCard out!