Tag to 5x15: Implosion

Melinda had dreamed about this, Jim realized dully. He remembered talking her through the nightmare about her walking through a blown up house. Of her screaming for him and Aiden in the ruins of their life.

He heard the bomb go off and his heart stopped; he was screaming Melinda's name and then it was over. No aftershock.

Melinda had fallen to the ground; they all had. He moved over to her, cradled her face in his. "Mel," he whispered.

"I'm fine," she gasped. "Ned. Delia."

He moved over to them, grabbing at Ned, as if by touching the boy he'd make sure of his safety.

Delia was sitting up already; they were all getting up.

Jim tried to reach out to his wife but she was lunging forward, desperate to reach Eli, make sure that the man was okay.

Jim held back. He wasn't going to say anything and he wasn't going to criticize it; he wasn't fond of Eli but he knew the man was important to Melinda and he also would have regretted it if Eli had died.

He wasn't sure, exactly, what his relationship with Eli was. Friends? Sometimes. Not really. Acquaintances. More than that.

He met the other man's gaze for a brief moment, then looked away. He wasn't jealous of Eli. He knew that his wife's relationship without Eli did not merit jealousy at all.

But he was angry, sometimes, that Eli had power over Melinda. That she went to him with things she didn't go to Jim with.

Not anymore.

Not for a long time now. Not since he'd lost his memory. Not since he'd gotten it back. There was too much time between when she'd lost him and when she'd recovered him, and she'd learned to not depend on him.

It hurt.

It hurt a lot sometimes, to see her going to Ned and Eli before Jim. To see her ghost hunting with them and know keenly that it was something she used to only do with him.

And now, this was happening. A bomb in Grandview. An explosion.

And she was at Eli's side. Would be until she'd taken care of this ghost.

Jim put an arm around Ned, felt the boy lean into the embrace; he'd had a father/son relationship with Ned once. Until Eli. "Oh my god," Ned mumbled, and for a moment hid his face in Jim's scarf.

At least someone was coming to Jim for comfort.

He pulled Delia into the hug, and they all watched Melinda dance about the emergency responders, trying to figure this situation out, seeing how Eli was there too.

Aiden, Jim thought dully. He should find Aiden.

The embrace ended and he looked in his pocket, found his keys.

He was going to tell Melinda that he was leaving but she was so far away.

So he just left. Sent her a text that he was going to the school to check on Aiden.

She replied good and that was it.

For three hours.

Sometimes she outright hated what she did, the amount of fear it gave her, the amount of stress on a daily basis.

Melinda walked up the porch steps; her feet hurt. She sat down on the swing and took off her heeled boots, done for the day.

She half expected the door to swing open, to find that Jim had been watching for her, and felt a slight frown crinkle her face when he didn't.

For god's sake, they'd nearly gotten blown up by a bomb earlier, and he couldn't even keep an eye out?

Then again, she'd left his side, shaking him off, quite suddenly earlier.

She felt a twinge of guilt, but pushed it down, quickly standing up and heading inside. "Jim, Aiden, I'm home," she called, dropping the shoes with a thump.

She heard light but quick footsteps; Aiden was rushing down the stairs, hurtling himself into her arms. "I missed you, mommy," he whispered. "I was scared."

"I know," Melinda said, a bit unsettled, knowing that he would have gotten some sense of what they'd gone through earlier. There was no way he wouldn't have. "Where's daddy?" She wondered.

"Upstairs, we already had dinner and I'm getting ready for bed," Aiden said.

"Then let's finish up," Melinda whispered, picking up her son. God, he was always so warm, always clung to her, rested his head on her shoulder even now.

She looked up to find Jim at the top of the stairs; he just looked at her, face serious. He moved as if to come down and meet them, then instead shoved his hands into his pockets. "He's all ready," he told her. "Teeth brushed. All he needs is the bedtime story.

"Well, I have a good one," Melinda promised, ascending the stairs, expecting and hoping for Jim to greet her with a kiss or a hug, or even a look, but he steps to the side, letting her pass.

Did she hurt him, earlier? When she left like that?

But surely he understood. He always understood!

She moved to Aiden's bedroom, and lay him in his bed, tucking him in. "Let me tell you a story," she began. "It's about a princess."

"A princess?" Aiden wondered; this wasn't their usual type of story.

"She meets a dragon," Melinda continued. "One day she's just riding her horse around the kingdom, visiting the villages and giving the poor people food. A huge dragon swoops out of the sky as she's riding back to the castle and lands in front of her."

Aiden shivered, but a huge smile was on his face.

"He demands for her to give him some food too, or he'll eat her," Melinda continued.

"What does she do?" He exclaimed.

"She tells him that she already gave the food to the poor villagers," Melinda said. "And that she has nothing left. And he growls and opens his mouth to breathe fire, but she thinks quickly. 'Mister Dragon,' she says. 'Let me go and I'll prepare a feast that will feed you for a week'. The dragon doesn't quite believe her, but he closes his mouth. 'I'll give you a day,' he says. 'Then I'll eat the whole village.'"

"Daddy, what does she do?" Aiden exclaimed, so worried.

Melinda looked over her shoulder to find Jim standing in the doorway, just watching. "I don't know," Jim said. "I haven't heard this story before."

"She goes home, to the castle," Melinda started up again, after she met her husband's eyes for a breathtaking moment. "And she runs up the stairs to the highest tower where the magican lives."

She turned around a bit again, seeing Jim close his eyes as if annoyed by this turn of events.

"And she asks him to look in his book of spells."

The floor in the hallway creaked.

Jim was gone.

Melinda lost her voice for a moment, wondering where she'd gone wrong. "He magicks up a giant feast for the dragon, and the princess thanks him, and the next day she's waiting for the dragon to appear again, food ready. He finally comes flying over the horizon, huge wings beating and lands in front of her. 'Princess,' he tells her. 'If this feast isn't good, I shall eat you next.' He eats up the whole feast very quickly, and then he stares down at her. 'I'm going to eat you now,' he tells her. 'Don't trust dragons, you silly human.' She just looks at him though. 'Don't trust princesses,' she says simply. And then he falls over, with a huge thud, fast asleep. The magician comes out and magicks him away to a far desert and the princess lives happily ever after, always smart."

Aiden looked at her, mouth gaping. "How was she so brave?" He wondered.

"Because she put a sleeping potion in the food and the dragon was silly enough to eat it," she said. "Because she knew he would trick her and that he would think that she was too scared to trick him, but she wasn't. So she tricked him twice."

Aiden paused for a moment, thinking. "I know that you're the princess, mommy, and who the dragon is. But who's daddy? He's not the magician."

"No," Melinda said, considering that for a moment. "No, he isn't."

She walked into the bedroom, finding Jim in bed, reading a book. There were glasses perched on his nose; he so rarely wore glasses for reading, but here he was, turning a page.

Hell, he rarely read.

"Hey," she greeted, moving towards the bed.

"Hi," he returned.

She sat on the end, perching on the edge before crawling up towards him, moving under his arms, between him and the book, winding her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his before he can protest.

He didn't.

Neither did he respond to the kiss.

Melinda paused, confused. "Jim?" She whispered, pulling away. "Are you okay? Did you get injured in the blast?"

"I'm fine," he said. "Aiden and I are fine."

Silence.

Melinda moved from the bed, now feeling the sting of rejection. She started pulling at her clothes, finding the buttons, angrily turning to face her closet as she undressed, completely ignoring the man behind her and dismissing the fact that usually this would be a tease.

She was in pajamas before she looked at him again, and couldn't find any sign on his body that he'd watched her undress.

Fuck him. She'd risked her life today, she'd done everything she could for a hurting family, for this most recent ghost. The book was complicating things as usual and yes, life should be better than it currently was, but she was working so hard, and she'd gone way beyond her usual comfort levels today to make sure that this ghost was over and done with and that no more explosions would happen. So that nothing could happen to Jim and Aiden and the whole town of Grandview.

Why couldn't Jim see that?

Why didn't Jim see things like he used to?

She walked into the bathroom, washing her face, tying her hair up in a bouncing ponytail, brushing her teeth, staring at herself in the mirror for a long moment.

Who was she? She wondered. If she wasn't the loved wife of Jim Clancy, who was she?

A word crossed her mind, and she shuddered.

Divorce.

They would never divorce. Why did she even think that?

She walked back into the bedroom, not looking at the man in bed beside her as she climbed in and pulled the covers over her head. "Are you going to turn off the light soon?" She wondered, voice tight and too shrill for her liking.

"Probably," he said. "Just a few more pages."

Why didn't he understand how much she sacrificed, every day?

Why was he letting his pride get in the way of the fact that he loved her?

In ten years time, it wasn't going to be her fault if they couldn't get past this.

This sudden thought shot through her brain, halting her. She couldn't let it be her fault. Was it her fault?

She breathed out, reconsidering some of her actions. Yes. She had left Jim's side so quickly...and had been gone again for six hours. Without once contacting him and Aiden. She hadn't been in touch even though a bomb had just gone off.

Good god. No wonder Jim was feeling...however he was feeling.

"Jim?" She began, feeling the bed dip as he got out, hearing him place the book down and walk to the light switch, turning it off.

The bed dipped again. "Good night, Melinda," he said, voice dull, patient.

She flipped to face him, only seeing his back. His broad, muscled back that she loved so much, that offered her so much protection and safety and help.

"Jim," she repeated. "I'm sorry."

There was a pause. "For what?"

"Not calling you, not letting you know I was safe," she began.

"You were busy," he said, his voice full of what sounded like patience but was probably more like boredom, weariness of a subject. "Don't worry about it, I just want to sleep."

He was tired.

Melinda felt herself begin to give up, and then suddenly remembered something he'd said, jokingly, a long, long time ago.

"A man is never too tired for sex. No matter what he says, he can find and make energy for it."

Suddenly, all she wanted was to have sex with her husband. By hook or by crook. Who said she had to play fair? He wasn't playing fair right now. He knew he was hurting her. And he was letting it happen. Letting her hurt. She placed a hand on his back, gently skating down his spine, tracing her fingers over the taut skin. He was going to regret not wearing a shirt to bed tonight.

She skated her hands over him, and he shifted. "Mel, I'm just tired," he said.

He was still, unmoving. "Jim," she said, sitting up in bed. "I know why you're mad at me."

"No, you really don't," came a quiet, exhausted reply.

She stilled. "I know I fucked up by not communicating with you today," she said. "By jumping to Eli's side instead of yours when the bomb went off."

"Melinda, it doesn't matter," he said, suddenly rolling over to face her. "You want to know why? Because I died. I died, and Sam was here, and I get that I fucked up. That Sam fucked up. Sometimes it's just really hard to distinguish which one I am, but the fact is, a bomb went off today. And the first person that you went for, the person you chose to cling to, was Eli. And I shouldn't even have been surprised. I'm not dumb, okay? We've been spending so much time apart, and honestly, if Eli is the guy you chose to replace me, that makes sense. I just wish you'd stop pretending."

She had no words. She couldn't have spoken if she wanted to; there was a lump in her throat the size of an orange. "Jim," she finally whispered. "Please don't do this."

"Do what?" He asked. "Aiden is the only thing keeping us together."

"No," she said. "That's not true, that can't be true."

"But it is," he said, voice flat. "Eli is the guy you chose today." He stood up, heading for the doorway, and she ran after him, throwing her arms around his waist.

"Don't walk out the door, Jim," she whispered. "I can't do this without you, I can't live without you. You are my strength, you are my heart, and I know that I haven't been home and I know that I've been taking advantage of you, but it's just because I thought you were there. I never knew you felt like this."

"Now you do," he said, but he'd stilled.

"I'm sorry," she said, tears running down her face. "I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry, and I want to try again. Please, Jim, not you."

He pulled away, and Melinda sank to the floor, losing feeling in her legs. So that was it. Jim was done.

She saw his feet on the floor in front of her, waiting for them to leave, waiting to see them walk out the bedroom door, and never come back, but they moved towards her instead. She looked up, and Jim was there, scooping her into his arms, soothing her.

"I'm sorry too," he said, kissing all over her face. "I got so angry, so insecure. I think I forgot that you have other obligations besides me."

"Jim, you are supposed to be my first and only," she wept. "I don't have an excuse."

"You have so many reasons," he said, lying her back on the bed. "And I know that. I…" He lay beside her, drawing her into his arms. "I'm sorry."

"Can we try again?" She asked, turning to face him, tears still falling.

"Yeah," he whispered, and she felt her heart begin to beat again. "I think we can."

A/N: I wanted to make this bigger and more dramatic but it just ended here lol. Still, enjoy a rare Jimel fight, and a scene that SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE EPISODE ~Meowser