Chapter 12

Authors note*

A giant thank you to my BETAS for my this story SADDLE TRAMP and NAKOOSAY! Both of you ladies have been amazing. Well my precious and loyal readers and reviewers this is the last chapter. I sincerely hope that all of you have liked my story. I would love to know what ya'll thought of it so please review to tell me. Stay safe and healthy every single one of you!

It was about a week before Jess could go home from the Doc's office; or as Jess put it, he was released from jail. Jess wished with all his heart that he had been in a jail cell and not being taken care of by the Doc and then by me. Jess hates any sort of attention and will bite your head off if you fuss over him. He acts like he is allergic to attention and fussing but nevertheless, he got my attention and I fussed like I had never fussed over him before. It made him so mad that sometimes I just had to laugh.

For once I was going to make sure that absolutely nothing happened to him and there wasn't a thing in the world that he could do about it. Every time he whined that he was fine I gently reminded him that he got shot, in the stomach. I knew he was in pain and it beat my heart black and blue that I couldn't make the pain go away. Jess knew that I knew that he was in pain, so he whined to stop my worrying about how I couldn't help him.

I would finally get so annoyed that I would give him my "too bad for you" look and he just grinned like a little kid. I would stand there, the annoyance draining from my face, as I realized what he had just done. He would grin because his plan to annoy me into forgetting about how worried I was about him worked. If I wasn't such a good natured fellow and he hadn't been injured, I would have tackled him to the floor right then and there just to show him how much I could be annoyed at him and love him at the same time. What I did to deserve such a best friend like Jess I may never know. But I do know that whatever it was, it was the best thing I had ever done in my entire life.

Mort made sure to ride out every chance he got to visit us. One time he brought the supplies we needed from the list I sent into town with one of the stagecoach drivers. With Jess staying in bed all week at threat of even more fussing, all the work was left to me. The stage drivers were old friends though and always said to tell Jess to get better soon. They always made sure to help me change the horses, thank heaven. Because between trying to keep the ranch running and taking care of Jess, I was burned out at both ends of the candle.

It was the end of the week after Jess had been released and Mort had talked the confusion out of my head before I found it in my ever forgiving and generous heart to allow Jess to venture outside. Jess had been haggling with me to go at least to the front porch and I finally consented. I stood by the door holding it open as Jess slowly and still slightly painfully walked by me. He looked like he was hurting bad and I thought of the one thing that always made him laugh. I joked about making sure that the door didn't hit his behind on the way out. Jess laughed and it was music to my ears.

I followed him out the door and made sure he was situated before I sat down. We leaned back in the chairs before kicking our feet up putting them on the porch rail and gazing up at the evening starlit sky. We had been sitting there a good while and I was almost nodding off because I was so tired, when quiet like I heard Jess say, "Are you okay Slim?".

I opened my eyes, surprised and slightly worried that he had overheard mine and Mort's talk by his bed, in the Doc's office.

"Why do you ask Jess?" I said trying to remain calm.

"After I was shot, I drifted in and out of consciousness a lot and I remember you talking to someone. I only heard tid bits of what you were saying. Then I think I heard Mort's voice saying that something was going to be okay."

I took my feet down off the rail and leaned forward putting my face into my hands. Jess at once took his own feet down and grunting slowly got out of his chair then dragged it closer to mine before sitting down again. Our chairs were now right next to each other and as I leaned back in the chair our shoulders were now touching.

"What's wrong Slim? Whatever it is we can get through it together. I promise."

So once again I opened my mouth and this time told Jess what was ailing my mind. I told hm about my conversation with Mort and how Mort had explained to me that it was normal to feel different and not know who you were anymore; especially after serving in a war and being in combat. Mort had told me a story about a friend of his who had been in the war and that his friend had felt like I did. Mort also said that his friend had found something to make himself feel like someone again.

"What did Mort's friend find?" Jess asked curiosity seeping into his voice.

"A loyal friend."

Jess chuckled and looked at me smiling saying "Well I guess you already found it Slim."

Jess's face turned serious and he said, 'Why didn't you come to me Slim?"

"I couldn't Jess. I felt stupid and I didn't know what to do. It was getting better, but then you got shot and I didn't know if I was Slim anymore Jess."

"How could you not be Slim, Slim?."

"Because I don't know who Slim is Jess! Slim is not my birth name but I don't feel like I felt before the war so I can't use my birth name. I don't know how Slim feels because I don't know how I feel, and I'm frustrated and confused and I thought that Mort had straightened everything out. But now I'm just so dad-gum mad." I had raised my voice slightly during the tirade and gotten out of my chair to pace beside it.

When I finished, I sank back down in the chair and put my head in now familiar position on my hands. I sat there and I felt as his hand rested itself on my shoulder. The familiar action surprised me as it was usually Mort who had his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, not Jess. It was most comforting thing that Jess had ever done, and I felt like the worst friend for keeping my friend in the dark.

"Slim you are the smart, calm, funny, caring, best partner that I could ever dream or ask for ever. I wouldn't trade you for gold or fame, or glory or even a partner who could actually cook eggs without burning them."

I chuckled at the last part and looked at Jess with eyes eternally grateful for my best friend. Jess grinned slightly and never removing his hand from my shoulder continued.

"That is who Slim is. I don't know you're birth name and now, by the way, I am very curious to know it. But all I know is that if who you were before the war is half as good as who you are right now, then I would say that what you want to be called is up to you. You could pick an entirely new name if you like. You are my best friend no matter what your name. Never forget that I know who you are."

Jess took his hand off my shoulder and glanced at me, his face turned sideways, towards my downward face. I looked up at Jess and all my worry, confusion, and name issues just vanished like a drop of rain when it hits the dirt.

"I knew who I was before the war and I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Then the war happened, and I didn't have the same secure feeling that the future was going to go my way, especially after Pa died, then Ma. I thought my world was going to end Jess. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive every day, let alone run the ranch so that it made money and me and Andy didn't starve.

"Then you came along Jess. You with your hard-learned ways of the world and when I got to know you, I found that there was so much more to you than a gunfighter. That there was an entirely other person buried in there beneath that tough as nails exterior. I learned that you had gone through experiences like mine and that you could go through all of that and still learn new things. If you could learn how to change from a gunfighter to a rancher, then maybe I could learn how to be Slim.

"You have taught me things, Jess, that I didn't even dream of learning before the war. I may not know who Slim fully is yet, but I know that to choose my birth name would mean going back to who I was before the war; before I met you and I don't want to go back. Jess, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

"You are more important to me, and our friendship is more important to me than self-doubt on which I am currently working fixing. When I am with you partner, I know who I am. Because when we are working, laughing, joking, or downing whiskey shots, you are always there.

"So, I know who I am. I am Slim Sherman who works the Sherman ranch with his Partner and best friend Jess Harper."

Jess looked at me and, in his eyes, I could almost swear I saw them glint in the moonlight. Jess cleared his throat and said

"I feel the same, Slim."

Just those 5 words and I knew that I was going to be okay. That's all it took. Just 5 words from the one person whose opinion matters the most to me. I leaned back in my chair and we both kicked our feet up on the rail again. Without turning his head Jess said

"So, Slim, now that you know who you are and everything what is your birth name? is it a weird name? Or is it a girly name like Daisy?"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled at how absurd Jess got this late at night. I laughed aloud as an idea popped in my head and Jess turned towards me grinning and asking what was so funny.

"How's this Jess? I will tell you my birth name if you tell me your middle name." I said staring at him and laughed as his face turned to a slightly pink grimace.

"Uh…uhm… you know I think I like Slim better than any old birth name anyway."

We stared at each other for a second before we both burst out laughing and soon, we were forgetting all the worries of tomorrow. Because that is what a best friend is; someone who makes you a better person. I had found that in Jess and I hope every day that that is what he has found in me also. Jess never did learn my birth name and I never did learn his middle name. But Jess had been there for me when I was hurting, and because of that, he grew closer to me and I to him.

We grew closer that day and the weeks after that as Jess slowly healed. By the time Jess had fully healed a month later, we knew each other like the back of our own hands. If someone saw me, Jess was sure to be around, and if someone saw Jess go into town, I was sure to follow soon after. My name is Slim Sherman and that is how I found myself with the help of Sheriff Mort Cory and my partner Jess Harper; two of the finest human beings and my two closest friends on this green grass covered earth.

I wouldn't have it any other way.