Josh Spicer: The next fic, Opal, Sapphire, Ruby, and STEVEN!: Customer Service, will follow Steven's career working at the car wash. That's it. That's the plot. Lol, but thank you so much! Sapphire's future vision can look at tens of thousands of possibilities unless she narrows it down to specific questions, and with Steven trying to distance himself as much as possible, "Will Steven come to his Room right now?" isn't something she'd be asking at the moment. (Let alone "Will Steven AND JASPER be coming to his Room right now?") Opal's feelings on this matter are going to be a different thing entirely to Sapphire and Ruby's feelings...but that is all I will say for this fic ;)
Shiranai Atsune: Thank you!
fatwhiteguy: I wholly promise to make the shorter chapters worth it *crosses heart*
Kraven the Hunter: Yeah, I got some feedback that the length of the former chapters could be really daunting sometimes - another plus to shorter chapters from here on out. Thank you!
DCCSG2: Thank you so much!
Well, here's the final chapter of Twists and Turns. It has been wonderful to read all of your reviews and receiving all your views, follows, and favorites - you guys are the best! As promised, the next fic - which I am...not proud to confess I have not yet come up with the subtitle for - will be posted in two weeks!
Hope you enjoy.
Even for a short trip, their stay in the Warp Pad's tunnel was a quiet one. It could have been that Jasper could tell that Steven wasn't up for small talk, but Jasper was never a fan of small talk in any scenario, so there was no difference that mattered. Even if Steven wanted to say anything about Opal or the others, and he doubted that he did, Jasper still wasn't the person to talk to.
The first thing he saw when they settled to their destination was orange. Orange on the horizon ahead of him, orange on the horizon behind him. In stark contrast, the sky above was a clear blue. The heat came on at once, but it wasn't as searing hot as it had been before at the peak of summer. In front of them was the gaping maw of the Beta Kindergarten. The walls that stretched far, far down below were still studded with the silhouettes of emerged Gems, a sight as curious as it was eerie.
It didn't surprise him, Steven supposed. He just had no idea where Jasper was taking them, so he was neither proven wrong or right.
Even so, his belly felt a little heavier regardless. This place was where he and Opal searched for Jasper, where they found the hidden lab and the device that launched more chunks of destroyed Gems into the Cluster, where they...Well, they didn't lose Carnelian, there never was a Carnelian, just an empty husk that could have become her.
It wasn't the bad memories that bothered him, though—it was the memories of their game of Twenty Questions, how they kicked a rock back and forth as they walked.
Did she think about it at all when we talked? Steven wondered. When we were laughing and joking, did she ever stop and think about what she wasn't telling me?
"Hey."
Jasper snapped her fingers in front of his face, a sound that was pretty darn loud thanks to their size. She jerked her head to the side, in the direction of the canyon's winding path. "We've got a ways to go."
"Oh. Right. How far do you think we—Okay."
Steven didn't take two steps before Jasper plucked him up from the back of his shirt like a little kitten. She placed him in the bend of her arm as she explained, "I mean a ways. Your tiny little legs will probably give out."
"Thanks! I'd say we can take turns, but—"
"You also have tiny little arms. You don't have to explain."
"Yeah." Steven couldn't help but blink down at his limbs. Was he really that tiny? "Um...so why are we here?"
Jasper sniffed, eyes ahead. "I'll tell you when we get there." Pausing, she added, "I didn't ask you to come because I didn't want to go alone. We have stuff to talk about when we get there."
Steven nodded and agreed, "Okay." He was neither wary nor excited at this point, he was just going with it. It didn't feel like that big of a deal anymore.
A few minutes passed, and Jasper seemed content to simply walk the way there. It wasn't like she was dragging her feet or anything, but still, they had miles to go.
"Hey, have you ever played Twenty Questions?"
She blinked. "Is that a game? We don't have time to play games."
"It's a talking game. Here, I'll go first. Question One: what's your favorite color?"
Jasper blinked again. "I don't have one."
"Okay, now ask me Question Two."
Jasper's eyes dragged left, then right. Waiting for a point. "What...time...is it?"
Steven checked his phone. "A little past seven, over here. Okay, Question Three: if you could combine any two animals in the world—?"
"This is the game?"
"Yep."
"I hate it. Stop." With one tug, Jasper pulled her cloak off her shoulders and tossed it over him. "Go to sleep."
Well, it was worth a shot.
It seemed that the gentle rocking of Jasper's moving feet lulled him to sleep, because when Steven opened his eyes despite not knowing when he closed them, he'd managed to swaddle himself up in Jasper's cloak like a baby. He hadn't touched it before to notice, but wow. It was pretty soft. Do Gems' projected clothes come with built-in fabric softener? That was a question he'd have to add to the book.
It was darker, too, but only from an overcast sky. He wasn't particularly looking forward to getting drenched, but he'd rather that than be fried to a crisp like the last time he was here.
When Jasper noticed his open eyes, she hummed. "So you can do it on command?"
"No. It's your fault." Steven yawned and shifted. Her forearm alone was so large that it might as well have been a cushion. "Your arm's too comfortable."
"Hey, don't get too snuggly. We're almost there."
Wiping the sleep out of his eyes, Steven turned to look ahead. Again, he was neither surprised nor unsurprised. The great basin that Jasper had brought him to all that time ago—that one faithful night that began with him accidentally trapping her in a Bubble and ended with her agreeing to help stop the Cluster to save her own skin at least—lay ahead of them. Whether it was the darkness of the night or the delirium that morning gave him, Steven hadn't really appreciated just how big it was before. It could've been miles wide.
Jasper just kept walking forward, not saying a word, until finally she stopped at the lip of the bowl. She still didn't speak. Her eyes scanned it from end to end before settling back to the middle. Her face was still as stone, and yet Steven couldn't help but feel that she was suddenly, horribly miserable.
What was it she'd said to him when she brought him here?
"This is where it happened."
"This is where you ruined everything."
And again...the "one person." That single, elusive Her.
"Hey, um..." Jasper knelt down a little shakily to let him step out of her grasp. When they stopped touching altogether, the cloak still wrapped around him flickered away. Not that Steven cared, he was far too busy watching Jasper's face, creased and almost pale. "I'm just going to...sit here for a bit. Just a bit."
"We can sit." Steven took a seat beside her, criss-cross applesauce. "It's okay."
Sitting in silence went on for a long time. The breeze that picked up speed as the minutes went by ruffled Jasper's hair. When the tension and quiet built too strong, Steven started drawing in the dust with his fingertips.
For this time, the world was empty, and it was just the two of them existing side-by-side. The rest of the world didn't fade away or stop mattering, it just muted. It was cathartic and painful at the same time.
The rain started as a few sparse drops seconds apart, but when there were no more seconds, Jasper summoned herself another cloak just to drape it on top of Steven again. Just to make sure it didn't blink away, she kept her hand on the crown of his head. The cloak easily tented Steven inside, and even seemed to repel the rain instead of soaking it in for him. The clouds broke open, but Steven stayed dry—and wary of how long it had been or will be until they return, he tipped his head back to drink.
He didn't like looking at Jasper the way she was—if this is what it looked like to see someone just exist, Steven didn't want to look too long. Jasper didn't even seem angry or exhausted or worn down, she just looked like she'd let everything inside of her stop.
Her lips finally pulled apart what could have been an hour into their silence. "I'm going to just...tell you everything. I know it's coming from me, but it's still stuff you should know."
Steven nodded.
Steven braced himself.
Jasper spoke.
"The Diamonds rule over all Gems. They decide what we look like, what we do, where we go and when and why. Almost every planet in the universe is owned by one of the Diamonds. They can do whatever they want with it...Yeah, they can make stupid luxury getaways for uppercrusts, but what they really want is the resources. They make Kindergartens so they can make more Gems and then they can take more planets. And...yeah, it's not like they need to. There's nothing threatening the Diamonds, they don't have to make more colonies, they don't have to make spires to ogle at, they don't have to make Pearls just so higher-ups don't have to lift a finger, but it doesn't matter. They're going to do what they want because they want to and no one's going to stop them.
Anyway...Four Diamonds. Yellow Diamond, Blue Diamond, White Diamond, and...Pink Diamond."
Jasper swallowed heavily, her throat bobbing.
"Maybe—I don't get why the Diamonds do what they do. I don't see the logic in destroying Rubies instead of just not making them anymore and leaving it at that. But it wasn't my place to argue, was it? If it wasn't for them, Gems wouldn't even exist, and...Well. What was the point in disagreeing? It doesn't matter if a Gem is as perfect as her kind can be, the Diamonds can shatter them in seconds flat and everything is just going to keep going. Everyone fears them, but that fear is deserved.
It was just how things were and how they were going to stay. And really, all you have to do is follow the rules. As long as you did what you were supposed to do, you were safe, it wasn't that hard to stay alive."
Her voice kept going...up and down, almost. Bitter then softer, bitter then softer. Constantly reeling herself back in like every other sentence is her reprimanding herself.
"The Earth was Pink Diamond's only colony, her only planet. She was just—doing what every Diamond does. She was making Kindergartens and overseeing construction, all that kind of stuff. It was all going the way it was supposed to go, and then Rose Quartz showed up."
Despite the slight jump in his throat, Steven didn't interrupt. The corners of Jasper's eyes tightened. Her tongue clicked.
"You know what the funny thing is?" she tutted out. "Rose Quartz wasn't anyone. She wasn't a Diamond, obviously, but she wasn't even an Agate, or a Hessonite. She was just a Quartz, she was just one in a million, there was nothing special about who she was or what she did. She didn't have any power at all, but for some reason...All she had to do was look around, decide that she just liked the Earth, and that was that."
Jasper let the words hang into the air for a moment. It wasn't that simple and she knew it.
"I didn't get what she saw in the place." With a scoff, Jasper flung her arm out towards the great basin, sending waterdrops flying. "Maybe I don't think this place is as awful as I did before, but seriously. What's so great about it?! It's just a hunk of rock, it's bland, it's empty. There are dozens of other planets just like it.
So I don't know what Rose Quartz saw, but somehow she made other Gems see it, too...Then it was a problem. Sure, they weren't anything either. Mostly Quartzes or other low-levels. A whole lot of defectives. They weren't any threat, but then there were so many of them they couldn't be ignored anymore. It wasn't just a couple of rebels that the Diamonds could brush aside, it was hundreds of Gems all over the Earth. And they just kept growing.
Then the War starts. Because the Diamonds aren't going to just give up and accept that they've lost. All of them start sending in their Gems to join the armies. They shattered Rubies just to let their shards take over stronger suits of armor, soldiers that almost couldn't be killed. And the Kindergartens, they were just going full throttle. The Beta Kindergarten was spitting out Gems every second. They just didn't want to get rid of the Earth, not yet. It was still theirs and all they had to do was take it back."
As she spoke, Jasper's head turned to the right, where the canyon continued its path.
"That's when I was made. The best soldier to ever come out of a Kindergarten...and the Beta Kindergarten, the worst one...
I got thrown into everything the second I came out. And I was good at it." She didn't sound particularly proud anymore. "In all the battles over all those years, never once did I get poofed, never once did I have to reform. I was the best soldier Homeworld had. That was—all I was. Every second of every day of every year was fight, fight, fight. Some months I didn't speak a word. I never thought anything about anything. I wasn't even a Gem, I wasn't even real.
But Pink Diamond, she...
She..."
It seemed that Jasper was fighting herself just to speak the words—Steven had to wonder if she had ever spoken about this to anyone in her life.
"Th-The War, it was starting to wear her down. It was her one and only colony and she was doing everything she could to keep it. I could see it the first time I met her. I was brought to her as Homeworld's newest weapon on the Earth's soil, and even though she smiled, I just knew she was falling apart. She was almost like I was, everything was the War, but that's not what a Diamond should live like. That's for Gems, that's for soldiers.
But even though..."
Jasper's hand covered up her eyes for a moment.
And then she laughed.
She laughed.
"But even though she was coming apart, the way she treated me..." Jasper's hand came down to show wide yellow eyes and a smile that split across her face. She almost looked hysterical. "She treated me like I was...something! All I did was do what I was built to do but she acted like I was just—amazing! She said I was—singular!"
Jasper looked to him, and even though it was so—odd, seeing her lips up in a smile and her yellow eyes wide and clear, her joy almost made her sparkle. All Steven could do was stare, even though his heart felt like it was breaking.
"Singular! One Quartz soldier out of a million and she thought I was singular...And it—And it just confused me so much. I didn't even realize it until maybe centuries later, but when she called me that, when she acted like I was something special, it made me...It made me happy."
Jasper's smile faded away from her lips.
"I was happy...
And maybe I started feeling panic, too, because a Quartz soldier isn't supposed to be happy. A Quartz soldier fights and that's it, so I just kept it down and went on going. But every time I saw her after that, she kept smiling and she kept looking at me like that.
It's not like I knew her. She was My Diamond, and that was all that mattered. I just—in all the battles I fought for Homeworld, I always just knew I was doing good because I was doing what I was told. I was called perfect and the best, but it wasn't like I was being called that, you know? I was like an experiment that turned out right, I was just something to make everyone but me feel proud.
Pink Diamond wasn't like that, it was like she wanted me to be proud of me. It didn't make any sense, it wasn't like I did anything to be the perfect Quartz, I just came out like that. But it didn't matter! She somehow convinced me that I was something worth—something. Like even if I just kept going the rest of existence fighting and not doing anything but my purpose, I was still doing something amazing.
I wasn't supposed to think that. I thought it was dangerous for me to think that, so I didn't say anything. I just thanked her and kept it to myself because if I was the perfect Quartz made in a Kindergarten, I couldn't ruin that by having a sudden defect. But...But it just became a secret. I didn't say anything, I didn't let it get to my head, but it was just this one, tiny little thing that made me feel like...
Like I wasn't just existing. And I didn't realize how addicting it was."
Steven did not cry, not yet, not even later. Really, he didn't have any right to, there weren't any tears for him to shed.
Watching Jasper in the quiet that followed gave him a different kind of sadness. Not the kind that spreads through his chest and spills from his eyes, it was the sort of sadness that left him feeling hollow but heavy.
Jasper went back into her silence like she just remembered how the story ended. For one glorious moment, she was warm and smiling, caught up in the memory of a feeling, but then she woke up. She remembered where she was and what happened. Not just everything that had happened since then, but how long ago it was.
Jasper looked lost and dumbstruck. She looked like she didn't know where time went.
"But even though...Even though what she did for me was so important, it just...Everything kept going.
The Crystal Gems kept growing in number. Battles were more frequent and the damage was worse. The Diamonds just kept boiling with every day that passed without an end to the War. And I'm not a Diamond, but to be the reason for Gemkind's existence and to have one little Quartz who wasn't just causing a colony to fall apart, but after you wrote her off as nothing...I mean, I imagine they have pride, and-and I imagine that pride is very important to them. So just acknowledging that there was a problem at all went against everything they were and knew.
And Pink Diamond, she was always full of life. She was bright and happy, but everything just kept getting worse and worse, and she couldn't be happy anymore. She stopped smiling. She went cold.
I kept fighting because that's what I was made to do, but I wanted her to have peace again. I know it wasn't my place—to pity a Diamond, good stars above." Jasper swiped a length of hair that fell into her face, movements jagged. "Even if I couldn't win the War all by myself, I knew I was one of Homeworld's best chances. Sometimes I had ideas. If I had any kind of power, the tactics I'd use, but no. No, I was just a Quartz. Just do what I was made to do and be the best one at it.
Things started to fall apart. It wasn't like Homeworld had ever had to deal with a planetwide rebellion before, how do you prepare for something like that? They only had so many Gems they could put on the frontlines—fighting Gems, I mean. They were still going to have order, they weren't going to send Pearls to do a Carnelian's job. So they only had so many soldiers, but the Crystal Gems were all different sizes and types and the fusions. I still don't get fusion! We used it all the time, Amethysts fusing with Amethysts, Jaspers fusing with Jaspers, the best combining their forces with the best and we still somehow lost to—to mashed up combos of Gems that couldn't be more different!"
As she spoke and her fingers clenched and waved as if to physically grab onto an explanation, Jasper seemed to remember just how they'd defeated the Cluster.
"It mean...it works..." She swallowed, mumbling sheepishly, "but I still don't get it...
So...So everything was starting to look pretty bad. Since Homeworld didn't have that many Quartzes, that's what they used the Kindergartens for. It was rushed and a lot of Gems got botched, but they were doing anything at this point.
And Pink Diamond...
And My...
...My Diamond..."
This was the ending to the story. These were the last few pages that she didn't want to read.
"My Diamond just couldn't take it anymore.
I think—I—I—I don't know, but I think it all just got too much for her. It was her first colony and she let the whole thing fall apart over one Quartz. I don't even know how a Diamond recovers from that. I don't think I could take that kind of humiliation.
One day, Pink Diamond just—snapped. She was done.
The day that—it...happened.
The Crystal Gems came here to do something. I still don't even know what they were trying to do. Maybe they were going to take the Kindergarten for themselves? Or maybe they were just trying to stop it.
I didn't work, whatever the plan was. Look, it was a stupid plan. It was just one little squad of Crystal Gems going into a Kindergarten. Just—even a Gem who wasn't supposed to come up with battle tactics knew it was dumb. It was literally a place where combative Gems were made and I guess they thought it was going to be an easy job?
Anyway, they lost, like I said. It didn't take long for them to get overpowered, but they got away. I was pretty close by when it happened, so when we got word that they'd made it to the Kindergarten, the Hessonite leading my squad sent me over to help. They were gone by the time I got there.
That's when Pink Diamond came."
In the words leading up to this moment, Jasper's voice was fearful—the way the story ended came closer with each sentence. She didn't want to come to it again.
The fear sapped away bit by bit, leaving her voice fading into hollowness. Acceptance out of sheer exhaustion.
"She came to the Beta Kindergarten just—screaming at everyone to get out. All the Quartzes, all the Peridots. I don't even think she had a plan, I don't think she was thinking at all. She didn't look or sound like My Diamond anymore.
She raged on about how she was just going to man the Kindergarten herself. If it was so easy for Crystal Gems to infiltrate it, if the Gems that it made were so flawed, then she'd just have to do everything as a Diamond.
I was there, the whole time. No one dared to defy her. Some went running as soon as she told them to, but a lot of us were just scared. It wasn't like she'd ever done anything like it before but—but she was so furious, and she was a Diamond, and I just couldn't help but wonder if she was going to start shattering us for what we'd done wrong.
She started going to the Injectors and...Well, I guess she just gave them everything she got. I don't know how Injectors work, alright? That's Peridot stuff, but I know that the Diamonds help out with the...fuel, I guess. The power that makes it possible to create a Gem in the crust.
But each Injector just had a fraction of a fraction of a Diamond's full power, so when she went to one and just charged everything she had into it, it couldn't take it. It wasn't built for that level of raw power.
It exploded, and I wasn't even anywhere close, and you know me. I'm..." Jasper thumped her fist against her chest, and Steven nodded. "And it still blew me off my feet. It blew her off her feet.
The Quartzes started running, and a couple of the Peridots tried to explain to her, not defy her, but just explain to her that the Injectors couldn't do what she wanted them to do. She wasn't having it. She was hurt and weak, but it didn't matter. She'd made up her mind.
She just kept going. Injector to Injector, charging them full of her energy. She kept getting blasted back. The walls started crumbling down. At that point it was just me. Everyone else ran, but I couldn't.
I was scared. I knew I wasn't supposed to question a Diamond, but I thought if she kept going she was really going to get hurt.
And I finally said something. I knew it was probably going to be it for me, probably proof that I was defective, or defiant. But I thought...'It's okay.' They'll make more Quartzes. They'll win the war for her. But right now, she needs someone to stop her before something happens, and I was the only one around.
I said, 'My Diamond, please. You could get hurt.'
She stopped. And she looked at me like she forgot I was even there and I still don't know why that bothered me so much. It did, but I was relieved for just a second, too, because if she heard me then she might listen.
But...
She just said,
'Leave, Jasper. That's an order.'
And she kept going.
So I just...left. Because that was a direct command."
Jasper's eyes flickered in place. It sounded like she'd run it through her head thousands of times: what might have happened if she did stay, what she could have done. She still sounded confused. Knowing why she didn't yet wondering why she hadn't.
Homeworld had just sent more Injectors here. A whole shipment of them."
With a stiff hand, Jasper pointed out to the dip of the great, dusty basin. Now there was nothing inside but the scraps of the Injector she'd saved him from. Steven remembered that it had been buried beneath centuries of dust.
"She, uh..."
Jasper swallowed. Her hand jerked towards the canyon that came to them.
"She kept going. All through the Kindergarten, destroying every Injector, until she finally got here.
I don't...I don't know what she was thinking. They were all right there, not even on the soil yet, and she just did all of them at once.
I wasn't there anymore, I was way out of there and about to leave, but I still saw it. I still felt it. Everything went red. The whole Earth shook."
Jasper took one last breath.
"And she was gone."
Steven knew the story would not end well. He had a good idea of where it was going for a while now. Even so, with those four words, a stone plummeted in his stomach.
"That was it. The War after that, it wasn't about the colony anymore.
Pink Diamond was gone. That was all the Diamonds cared about.
That was all I cared about.
If...
If Rose Quartz had just stopped...If she'd looked around and realized that it just wasn't worth it anymore, it never would have happened. The colony could have kept going and Gems wouldn't be shattered and My Diamond would still. be. alive.
The Crystal Gems won because they exhausted us out. Kindergartens went dry just trying to get more soldiers out into the field. The Diamonds' other colonies were being neglected, so I guess they just. Stopped.
So the Crystal Gems won.
Rose Quartz got to keep the planet that she stole. Pink Diamond had been shattered along with countless other innocents pulled into a war they never started, but it's okay, right? Because at least the Earth is still here, right?
And I just kept existing. I was given to Blue Diamond and I just did what Rose Quartz should have done. I did what I was told.
If I was supposed to escort a Gem, I did it. If I was to stand sentry at a gala, I did it. I didn't even do it to please the Diamonds anymore.
I just didn't care. Nothing mattered.
For thousands and thousands of years, I didn't feel anything. Sometimes I'd look around and realize that a century had passed. All I could do what remember when I did feel something.
It wasn't until I was told about the Cluster that I felt something again and I still didn't even know what it was." She pressed her fingers together on her temples again. Trying to mash her brain into submission. "You don't know what it's like, thinking when you're not supposed to think. I didn't get why they'd want to destroy Pink Diamond's only colony, but I didn't need to get it. It was almost like I was angry, but I couldn't be angry. I owed my existence to the Diamonds. I wouldn't have ever even known Pink Diamond without them. Besides...They'd done more than I ever could to get rid of the Crystal Gems.
I don't know what happened when I...Well. When I saw you on the beach and thought you were Rose Quartz.
I was so, so, so angry when I saw you."
Her hands began to tremble, knuckles hard as rock. Steven knew the strength of those hands. If she wanted to, she could crush him with one grip.
"And I was happy again.
I couldn't bring Pink Diamond back, but at least I could get back at you for driving her to do what she did. She was gone because of you. And I started thinking that destroying the Earth wouldn't be so bad. I think you loved it more than Pink Diamond did. I thought it was more than fair for everything you'd done.
I wanted you to suffer the way I had. I needed you to know what you'd done, because really, I didn't think you cared. You just cared about getting your planet. I mean, look how many of you are left. You lured Gems into rebelling somehow, I guess brainwashing them into seeing in the Earth what you saw...And then you just let them get picked off until there was only three of them left.
I was so happy to get back at you, but when the ship crashed...That was joy. There was no plan anymore. There was no way to communicate to the Diamonds. I could do whatever I wanted and all I had to do was lie that I just acted as I saw fit for the situation. And you know what? All those years of being the perfect soldier, I thought they were finally going to pay off. I thought that with my reputation, the Diamonds would believe anything I said.
Anyway.
You know what happened after that."
Now Steven could sit in the silence with her, not just beside her. The raindrops pitter-pattered on the cloak.
At least he finally got his answer; now he knew why Jasper's hatred of the Crystal Gems ran deep. He just didn't like the answer.
It wasn't that he thought Jasper was—right. Heck, she herself seemed admitting that Rose Quartz was not directly responsible for Pink Diamond's shattering. There was a difference, he guessed, in "getting" someone and just knowing why they think the way that they think.
Now he thinks back to everything he's seen of Jasper since they first met: bitter, angry, with a one-track mind and never once showing a semblance of peace, let alone happiness. She'd scared him so badly for such a long time. He wondered, though, if he knew what he knows now, would it have been different?
He kind of wants to hug Jasper, but he knows she wouldn't like that, so he doesn't.
Knowing how Jasper has been shaped and worn down by all of this, it kind of makes him think of Homeworld. And the Diamonds, too.
Maybe he'd been naive this whole time. Greg had told him in their evacuation that their enemies were not cartoon villains that would go away so easily. Maybe he'd been more right about that then Steven realized.
It's so frustrating, because even after everything he's just been given to him on a silver platter, he still knows hardly anything about Homeworld or the Diamonds. In the broadest sense, are they just the bad guys? He couldn't get or follow the train of thought that would make them do the things they did, from shattering Gems that just weren't perfect to wiping out an entire Gem type that just wasn't strong enough to igniting a full war just because the Earth was "theirs."
Or maybe—and it was a thought that almost scared him—the Diamonds weren't as simple as that.
Were any of them like Jasper? Were any of them doing this from the pain Rose Quartz had caused them?
Steven wasn't advocating for anyone but the Crystal Gems—they were still the good guys at the end of the day no matter how much he tried to figure out the Diamonds' maze. Still, if the War wasn't as simple as a punishment for disobedience, they could probably do—something with that. The same way he'd done something when he realized the Cluster wasn't just a mindless beast.
So they sit in the rainfall at the lip of the bowl and think about everything that has happened and is happening and will happen. Both of them are the only person the other can do so with.
When the rain begins to thin without thinning out, Steven asks, "What are you thinking now?"
Jasper shrugs her shoulder in a lazy "fair enough" jerk. "I'm thinking that I still hate Rose Quartz. And her followers, but for new reasons. But at the end of the day, I think I'm just done with everything."
She placed her wrists atop her crossed knees, back falling from its posture. "Here's the thing, Steven. The Crystal Gems want to save the Earth because they think it's beautiful and amazing or some other garbage, and the War they started killed Pink Diamond. The Diamonds want to destroy the Earth to get back at the rebels for what they did, but they're trying to get rid of the only thing left of Pink Diamond. I can't belong to either of those groups. So I just want to ask, because this is something that's been on my mind: this whole time I was working with you guys, were you trying to get me to become a Crystal Gem by the end?"
Steven thought it through, but it didn't take long. "No."
"Good."
He readjusted the cloak still tight around his body. They could've been sitting here for hours, but he knew the conversation wasn't quite over. "So what do you think about the Earth now?"
Jasper blinked. "I just said."
"No, not like...In regards to Pink Diamond and Homeworld and all that. Like...Just the Earth."
She sniffed. "I think it's bland and small and insignificant. I think everything is so primitive. There are things that exist here for no reason and people who live here without a purpose."
"Anything good?"
"Yeah. Except I'm not supposed to think it's good."
"So what? Think it anyway."
No wonder living with her mind was a nightmare. She couldn't even hear the thoughts that conflicted her so much.
Here, though, between the two of them and the empty bowl, she opened her mouth to speak.
"I think that going every day without someone telling you what to do or why you do it is scary, but almost...in a good way?" Steven urged her to go on. "I still think the Diamonds deserve the fear they get, but it's still fear, and I don't have to deal with it here. I'm troubled, sometimes. If I can't go back to Homeworld and I can't be a Crystal Gem, then it's up to me to figure out what to do. That bothers me but I still want to do it.
I'm tired, Steven.
I'm really tired."
Steven pressed his head against her arm, taking a breath. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Anything you want to add?"
"Mm. Kind of."
"Go ahead. I won't be angry."
"I'm not trying to convince you to be a Crystal Gem. I promise. But I think maybe what you like about the Earth is what everyone else sees in the Earth. So it's not just rocks and trees, you know?" Steven's mouth stretched into a wide yawn. "I think it's more than that."
He heard Jasper's teeth clicking together. "Maybe you're right. And that doesn't help."
"I'm sorry you're confused. I wish I could help."
"I know...Hey."
"Yeah?"
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about all those times I tried to kill you."
"Thanks."
"Hey, hey. No-no." Suddenly Jasper was jiggling him awake. Steven's head went lolling before he could catch himself. He wasn't proud, but he whined in protest. "Don't fall asleep where I can't move. Come on."
Jasper scooped him up again. He couldn't see it now that his face was turned towards her chest, but Steven was pretty sure she turned back towards the bowl one last time. He wondered if she was ever going to come back to it.
Steven was pretty sure he was going to fall asleep again on the way back. He must not have gotten as much sleep last night as he'd thought. Before his eyes started getting droopy, though, he asked, "Have you changed your mind about where you're going to go now?"
Jasper's hum vibrated against his ear. "I put a lot of work into that cave. Maybe I'll just stick around there until I figure out something better to do. I was thinking of installing an indoor pool."
"That's nice," Steven mumbled.
The rain was thinning more now, leaving only the occasional drop to plop against the cloak. He was grateful it'd kept him almost bone dry this whole time. Otherwise he'd have a track record for getting sick every time he came back from this place.
It was so quiet in the desert that the beeping of his phone was shockingly loud. Jasper just kept on walking while he fumbled in the cloak to get his phone out of his pocket again. He'd had to have been gone for hours and hours now; he'd be far from surprised if it was Greg wondering where he was.
However, as he pulled the screen up to his face, all he found was the time—a little after three, but was that even in Beach City's time zone?—and a little notification that one of Ronaldo's blogs had posted again.
The phone kept beeping. Proper-confused now, Steven turned it this way and that, but while he held the speaker right up to his ear, Steven realized it wasn't coming from the phone at all.
Then Jasper stopped cold.
One of her arms moved so quickly Steven almost went spilling to the dirt.
The blue bracelet on Jasper's wrist was blinking red.
And it was starting to beep faster.
Jasper spat out a quick "Sorryaboutthis!" before she threw him.
He tumbled along his side on the wet dust. Somehow he landed on his side funny, but other than red and orange being smeared across his arms and legs, he was unscathed. Jasper's cloak had blinked away.
It was far too disorienting, going from being swaddled like a baby and almost falling asleep to being thrown to the wind like a rag doll. Steven felt like his eyes were spinning in his head, but he somehow manage to point them back to Jasper again.
For a second, all he saw was Jasper's face.
She was scared.
After that, her face was blue.
Steven gasped. He couldn't help it. Jasper's bracelet was spilling out blue light so bright it was almost hard to look at. It cut through the browns and oranges of the desert like a knife. It was almost beautiful, but something had Steven's stomach plummeting once more.
The light kept spilling out, until at last it was collecting together to form a square shape that kept spinning over and over.
On that square came shapes and lines, an incoherent mess from what Steven could see.
To be fair, though, he only then realized he'd fallen on his back and was looking at everything upside-down.
So when he flopped himself over, he saw that the light was projecting an image. More specifically, a person.
More specifically than that...Peridot?
No, not Peridot-Peridot, just—a Peridot, Steven guessed. Her hair was cubic, not triangular, and her Gem was embedded in her sternum instead of her forehead. Her clothes weren't the same as Peridot's, either. They were a darker color of green, almost teal, and she didn't have the bulky gloves with the float-y fingers Peridot did.
It was the Peridot that blinked at Jasper as if she was the odd sight around here. All Jasper did was blink back.
Steven felt his throat close up.
What was happening?
Finally, the Peridot sniffed. "I sincerely apologize for the wait, My Diamond. It has been a time since I've seen this technology."
And from the other side of the screen came a voice like the wind. "Hand it here."
The image shuffled and swayed as the screen was passed over. For a moment there was nothing but dark blue. The first thing Steven made out was the blue hand that held the screen, but the stretch to its owner was...colossal. It was as if the owner's arm alone was a mile long.
After that, Steven couldn't make out much, but there wasn't much to make out. The person wore a hood so dark and heavy all Steven could see was a long nose and full lips. Strands of wispy white hair fell from the shadows.
The screen kept shifting and flashing, and there was maybe a little noise of frustration.
While the projection went wild, Steven caught a glimpse of something that made his blood run cold.
The hood the person wore stretched down to their chest. Below their blue neck, there was a shining blue Gem. Four-sided and almost like a teardrop, but diamond-shaped still.
A diamond.
Blue Diamond.
And she was looking right at Jasper.
"Jasper Facet-2G4B Cut-2AC. Is that you?"
Her voice was as haunting as her appearance. It lifted and fell but was never any stronger than a whisper. It was almost like her voice was always right behind him.
Jasper had been rendered frozen. There was stark, unmistakable fear pooled in her eyes. She never in a million years expected this and she had no idea what to do.
At last, she jerked her arms together. Her fingers bent back to each other—the space between her arms forming a diamond. "My Diamond."
Blue Diamond's image was frozen for a moment after. There was no telling if the screen froze or if she herself was as still as stone. "You should have returned from your mission a long time ago. What happened?"
Jasper's throat bobbed. Her eyes flicked to Steven out of her control.
"We were compromised, My Diamond."
"Compromised." Blue Diamond's blue lips tutted. "Do explain?"
"The ship's heart-drive was destroyed before we could make the jump back to Homeworld. The Peridot lost all control over the ship. It crashed into one of Earth's oceans."
"That ship should have been in prime condition before you left." One of Blue Diamond's long fingers came up and brushed against the hem of her hood. Somehow, such a tiny, casual movement seemed threatening. "A heart-drive does not just get destroyed on its own. I would normally turn to the Peridot for a technical explanation, but the one sent with you has been unreachable. I do hope you simply aren't finished with your explanation."
Even thousands upon thousands of miles away, Jasper's hair stood on end. "I am not, My Diamond."
"Then continue."
"The heart-drive was destroyed…during an attack by the rebels."
Again Blue Diamond's image froze. This time the stillness stretched on. "You mean the Crystal Gems."
"Yes, My Diamond."
Blue Diamond's jaw twitched just slightly.
"How any of them are left is still beyond my understanding," she finally said, more to herself than Jasper. "That is a problem that will be dealt with in due time. How did they get onto the ship?"
"A-after we arrived at their base, I managed to destroy their physical forms and intended to bring them back to Homeworld to you, My Diamond, but they regained their forms before I could place them in their cells."
Steven chewed on the inside of his cheek until a metallic twinge landed on his tongue. What was Jasper leading to?
"Why did you intend to bring them back to me? Your instructions were to dispose of them."
"Yes, My Diamond, but…but I believed that that is what you meant, to dispose of them and bring them to you for proper punishment for their crimes."
Blue Diamond accepted that, thank the stars. "Where is the Peridot?" Still, the genuine, almost friendly curiosity was somehow worse than the chilling seriousness. "And the Lapis Lazuli."
"Neither of them emerged from the ship's crash. I believe they were shattered."
"The Crystal Gems, as well?"
"Yes, My Diamond."
That long, wicked finger brushed against her hood once again. "But not you."
Jasper did not miss the hint, thankfully, and she readily answered, "My physical form is very formidable, My Diamond."
To Steven's surprise and relief, Blue Diamond's lips twitched in consideration. "That is true…Understand my confusion, however. I sent the best Quartz soldier to ever emerge from a Kindergarten on a very simple mission to dispose of the rebels interfering with a Peridot's work. After centuries and centuries of a spotless record, this mission has ended in disaster. A Peridot has been shattered, as has the Lapis Lazuli with knowledge of the Crystal Gems, and a ship has been decimated. All of this happened under your control. Is that true?"
For a moment, the only movement on Jasper's body was her eyes flickering across Blue Diamond's face. "Yes, My Diamond. I apologize for my insolence."
Blue Diamond stood still for one moment longer before turning just so and reaching for something offscreen. She was leaving Jasper waiting and she knew it—whether it was to torment her if it just came from the knowledge that nothing happened until she spoke again, it was unknown.
"I'm very disappointed in your performance, Jasper. I assigned you to this mission because of your unmatched skills. Thousands of years you have been serving under me, and for thousands of years I've never once had a complaint. I had great faith in you."
Steven tried not to hold his breath for fear of gasping too loud. Was he more afraid for Jasper or the Earth? Blue Diamond was a mystery to him. There was no predicting her reaction, and he was waiting for the ball to drop. Somehow he felt that even with her being an infinity away, she could still somehow just reach through the screen and crush Jasper.
But finally, after a forever of silence, Blue Diamond clicked her tongue. "That said…With a history as remarkable as yours, I see no reason why some forgiveness can't be extended. It was only a matter of time before a misstep was made."
Instead of relief relaxing her shoulders, Jasper's head snaked back just so. If Steven didn't know any better, he'd say that she wanted anger instead.
"Thank you…My Diamond."
At first, Blue Diamond only answered with a slight nod before turning her face elsewhere again. Then she hesitated. Her hand drew back in and rested on her collarbone, just above her Gem. For a long minute her only movement was the slight bend of her pinky finger.
"Has the Earth changed much?"
Jasper again swallowed. It almost sounded like Blue Diamond was looking for small talk, but that couldn't be the case. "No, My Diamond. It's…mostly the same."
"Mostly?"
"Erm…Humans have involved in some ways. Their cities and systems and tools are all more advanced than they were."
"I see." With the tiniest of movements, Blue Diamond took a small piece of snowy hair in between her fingertips. Though Steven couldn't see her eyes, he doubted she was looking at Jasper at all. "I'm surprised they've survived. I've always thought humans to be so…bizarre. They almost look like us, but they're weak and unintelligent…no control over their own planet in the slightest."
"Yes, My—Diamond."
"The Earth never showed me anything notable at all. I thought it was just another one of potential sources. Another…colony…"
Blue Diamond froze again.
And then—making Steven's eyes flutter in shock—tears began to roll down Blue Diamond's cheeks.
Even more peculiar is that Jasper seemed unfazed by this. She still watched Blue Diamond with wary eyes and a stiff posture, but the sight of the droplets falling from her Diamond's face did not give her pause.
Not even as—more tears began to fall. Not just two steady streams, but three, then five, then seven. Droplets ran down Blue Diamond's chin and cheeks and on either side of her nose—some even falling from the tip. What her eyes must look like, so filled with tears that they overflowed so messily.
There was something about this stranger that kept a permanent chill in Steven's spine. This was one of the strongest Gems in existence, who wiped out planets and shattered whole Gem types, who let shards be forcefully fused into the horrifying creature that was the Cluster. Yet she also just seemed—fragile. Neither broken nor strong, like she was fighting the battle to keep her pieces together.
Despite it, Blue Diamond was not embarrassed. After a few more moments of her weeping, she quickly wiped the wetness from her face and sniffed.
"I'll send a ship to you as quickly as can be managed." Her hand moved offscreen once more. As if there was never an interruption. "I trust that the Peridot completed her work on the Cluster before you left."
This time, Jasper hesitated so long that Blue Diamond's head tilted back to her. Jasper's hands had fallen from her salute to clench tightly at her sides. You could hear a pin drop.
"Jasper."
"My Diamond, when I…" Jasper let out a strangled sound. How long had it been before she carefully tried not to anger someone? "When the Peridot was investigating the Cluster's status, we…discovered that the way in which the Cluster would form would destroy the Earth surrounding it. The—the entire planet would be decimated in its surfacing."
But…doesn't she know that? Wondered Steven. But then, though there was nothing that told him so, he realized that it was deliberate. Jasper was…going for a gambit, he guessed.
Blue Diamond pulled her screen a bit closer to her face. For emphasis, probably.
"Yes, Jasper. That is the intended result of the Cluster's emergence."
"My Diamond?"
Whether Blue Diamond was blinking or glowering, Steven couldn't tell.
"With the power and size that the Cluster should have, there is no conceivable way for the planet not to be destroyed as it emerges. How was this not explained to you?"
"Forgive me, My Diamond." Jasper saluted again and lowered her gaze. "I…gravely misunderstood the purpose of the Peridot's work."
"She herself did not explain it?"
"She did, but…I mistook what she said as an unacceptable misunderstanding of your orders. I talked the Peridot down believing I was preventing her from defying your intent."
"You thought she was misunderstanding when it was, in fact, you?"
"Yes, My Diamond."
"And how so?"
"I do not wish to offend you, My Diamond. I'm afraid I have made an unacceptable assumption myself."
"What assumption? Tell me. I'm asking you."
Jasper disguised her sigh to steady herself as a sigh of fear.
"I did not believe that you or her greatness Yellow Diamond would order the destruction of the Earth. I assumed that you wished only for the Cluster to emerge, not at the expense of the planet, and that the Diamonds Two were unaware that such a thing would happen."
At least this time, Steven is fairly confident Blue Diamond is blinking.
"Why would you assume such a thing?"
"Because the Earth is still a colony of the powerful Diamonds, My Diamond. With as few as three Crystal Gems left, I believed that the great Diamonds' wishes, whatever they may rightfully be, could be fulfilled without interruption. I thought, perhaps, with the Earth being so rich in resources, the glorious Diamonds wished to continue colonization of the planet."
Blue Diamond lifted up her screen in a fluid yet still jarring motion. Steven almost jumped.
She did not snap, though for a second it seemed she would. Instead she whispered, "There is still something you're not telling me. Say it."
This was the final play. No messing up now.
"I…I believed that with rulings from the righteous Diamonds such as the restriction of discussing the Earth, the War, or similar matters between any and all Gems, the halt on all Rose Quartz production, and perhaps even the Zoo's creation, that the Earth was considered…with special regard by the Diamonds Two. I believed that as worthy and groundbreaking a creation that the Cluster was, it was not to bring any harm to Earth itself."
The more Jasper spoke, the more Blue Diamond's image shifted almost imperceptibly. She was almost getting lost in Jasper's words, Steven realized—her hand was relaxing as she thought.
She kept listening to Jasper, never interrupting despite having all the power and more to do so, and kept listening even when Jasper stopped talking.
When she finally spoke, it was to say, "Say her name."
"My Diamond?"
"Not me. Your true Diamond."
Jasper's acting skills were applause-worthy. She showed unease and tension in every line in her body even though, to Steven, her satisfaction was visible for miles.
"Pink Diamond."
There was a short, sharp breath still.
"It seems your assumptions are founded in…some form of logic," Blue Diamond clipped out. "Though it was not your place to assume at all, it was the assumption that you were enacting correct orders. I will forgive you for this, too, but remember these are two grievous mistakes on one mission. I suggest you provide another few thousand years' of spotless behavior to make up for them."
"Yes, My Diamond."
"So what has become of the Cluster? Did you force the Peridot to affect its emergence in any way?"
"The…Peridot and I discovered a piece of the Cluster within the Kindergarten laboratory. I imagine it was left following the mass evacuation of the Earth…The Peridot insisted on firing it into the Earth's core to join the rest of the Cluster, but I stopped her from doing so after hearing her mention the Earth's destruction as if it was intended…Which it was, My Diamond."
The tiny little hum must have been Blue Diamond's version of an aggrieved groan. "Very well."
"Shall I go back and add it, My Diamond?"
"What? No. What would you know about such work? I'll send another Peridot to take care of it when I…When…"
Blue Diamond's voice trailed off. Steven thought that maybe Jasper would prod her with a "My Diamond?" But Jasper was more knowledgeable of how much was too much. She kept her silence while Blue Diamond pondered on the screen.
Finally, Blue Diamond straightened her posture and declared, "Because this mission has not gone as intended, Yellow Diamond and I will discuss this matter further. I will send a ship to fetch you."
"Yes, My Diamond."
"And Jasper…"
"Yes, My Diamond?"
Blue Diamond's long hand came up once again to the hood of her robe. Only this time, it was to pull it back from her face entirely.
Steven felt himself freeze again.
The entire upper half of Blue Diamond's face was covered in eyes. Big and small, in various shades of blue, from cornflower to deep azure. Despite their irregular placing, they blinked in unison with one another. They stared down at Jasper at every angle. They were beautiful and terrifying, just like the rest of Blue Diamond.
Blue Diamond's last words were, "Do not commit any more mistakes in the meantime."
Then the light died away.
Steven would have sat there, blinking in shock. It seemed like what was supposed to happen. He'd just been given a front-row view of one of the threats that had haunted his days for months now, after all.
Jasper had a better reaction time, however, and no sooner had the light blinked away from the air than she ripped the bracelet off of her wrist. She crushed it in her palm, ground it with a fist, left no piece unbroken and no wire unsnapped. Even after, she threw the pieces to the wet dust and stomped on them so hard they seemed likely to turn to dust themselves.
It was only when her boot stayed planted that Steven finally approached her. She was huffing heavily, caught between fear and relief. She was thoroughly rattled, and Steven patted her hand for fear that any other touch would startle her.
"She's gone now."
"Yeah…" Jasper sucked down air. "Yeah. I…I didn't mean any of that."
"I know!"
"I had to say something so she wouldn't—I had to say what I thought she'd want to hear, I didn't mean it…"
"I know, Jasper. It's okay." Steven gave her a comforting smile, but frowned quickly after. "But what's going to happen?"
"I thought if I told her I got rid of the Cluster, she'd send some kind of armada…" Jasper wasn't looking at her. Her yellow eyes were flitting left and right. "But maybe she'll just send another Peridot…Maybe not even soon."
"Okay, okay. I think you can just breathe now."
"I don't breathe," wheezed Jasper.
Steven chuckled. "I know."
"I'm not joking."
"Maybe we should just go home. Or I'll walk you back to your cave and I'll go home. Or I'll walk you back to your cave and I'll go back to It's A Wash. Or I'll walk you back to your cave and I'll go back to the Temple and just tell them Blue Diamond called. I won't tell them anything else. Unless you want me to? Unless you want to tell them yourself. So we can both go to the Temple—"
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Let's just get out of here."
"Cool, cool, cool!"
Jasper picked him up again, but too exhausted to baby-swaddle him anymore, she just plucked him up by the back of his shirt and dangled him like a basket. Which was—okay, he guessed.
What really mattered was that it at least seemed like Jasper's mind had been freed some space. Of course, hard contemplation of her potentially deadly words to her superior wasn't a relaxing topic to dwell on, but it was at least a change. And somehow one that brought a bit of color back into her face.
Steven, meanwhile, got to dwell on the new knowledge of Homeworld's history with the Crystal Gems. Jasper had put Pink Diamond's death on Rose Quartz, so maybe the other Diamonds did the same…It seemed to him that there was too many things too know and he wasn't going to get around to getting all of them.
He wondered how his mother would have felt about it. That, in particular, is a knowledge he'll never achieve.
Knowing what happened to Pink Diamond…it did change things. It made him think the War between Homeworld and Earth was just a little bit more than a rebellion. It sounded almost like it escalated in revenge. Jasper was just one incredibly strong Gem who wanted vengeance against Rose Quartz for leading to her Diamond's end. A whole army with that same intent, led by Diamonds just the same, made the War unimaginable in his mind.
And again Steven wonders why the Crystal Gems hid this from him. He keeps trying so hard, but whether by learning new things about the War or late-night visits to drop off a phone charger, Steven can't get rid of the bitterness all this has caused him. It's still justified, but he still hates it. He wants to hold onto it without being aware of it.
But okay.
He could breathe.
Okay.
It was sheer luck that the Room was empty when they Warped back. Steven was happy to see it so, but he also thought that if the others had been present, he might have just ignored them.
Steven doesn't like being mean and bitter. He hopes he can stop being so soon.
"So…" Steven followed Jasper towards the door. "You headed right home? Or do you want to grab some lunch? Or is it dinner now? Hold on, I don't know how time zones kabobbled us."
"I told you I'm not going anywhere near your mouth sludge ever again."
"Right. Sorry." But he couldn't help his heart from breaking. She'd never know the majesty of a Cookie Cat…
Jasper scratched at her jaw. Hesitated. "I don't want to spend the whole rest of the day in the cave, though, so…I don't know. We'll go wherever and I'll just sit in silence while you eat."
Steven bounced on his feet instantly. "That sounds so awkward but let's go!"
So for all of…what, five seconds? However long it took him to get to the door…Steven mused to himself that he was at least in a better place then he was when the morning began. He had answers to some of the questions that had been plaguing him; Jasper seemed to have accepted her past, present, and future; with her careful words, it seemed that they had some time before Diamonds' next move.
He was still angry at the Crystal Gems and they were still reaching after him. It still ground his nerves to dust, but knowing that his time away from them would have to come to an end, he felt a little more comfortable at the idea of confrontation. They needed to talk. But that would happen when he felt it was time, and he would know just what he was going to say.
Sometimes he wished the world would just stop spinning for a second. It wasn't going to happen, but he was more than strong enough to power through it.
All that said, the idea of some time to just exist was more than inviting.
"What…is that?"
Jasper's voice was on edge. Startled. Wary. Not calm at all.
Steven dashed out to where she was leaning against the rail of the balcony. He really didn't see anything at first. It was just a normal day in this corner of the world, a clear blue sky and calm ocean waves. The way things were supposed to look.
Then he saw something on the horizon that he thought at first was just a low cloud. Except the cloud was getting closer. And denser. And was, decidedly, not a cloud.
There was no telling what it was, but it was big, and powerful…and gunning straight for them.
So much for breathing.