Sam called the day after the hounds came for Dean. Erin had known the call was coming but it hadn't made picking up the phone any easier. Erin had been thankful that she had been alone when she got the call because she couldn't hold back the tears and she didn't know how to handle explaining to someone else what had happened while she was struggling to pull herself together.
Erin and Dean had become good friends over the years. There hadn't been the usual hurt feelings between the two like there normally was between two parents that were no longer romantically involved, mainly because she and Dean had never fallen in love with each other, leaving no feelings to be hurt when they made the decision to be co-parents without trying to maintain an involved relationship with each other. The night Rosie was conceived was meant to be a one night stand between two lonely, damaged people that were never going to see each other again, an action meant to scratch an itch and nothing more. Dean had only given Erin his number in case something supernatural popped up again.
Erin had been terrified when she took that pregnancy test two months later and saw the bright pink lines. They had been careful but obviously not careful enough. Erin had briefly debated an abortion, but quickly realized that she would never be able to go through with it. It took her a week to tell Camille and that had only been after Camille had caught her in the bathroom emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet for the third morning in a row and was demanding to take her to the doctor.
Hank had been less than thrilled when he learned of the situation and Camille had innocently asked if Erin had contacted the father yet and Erin was then forced to contemplate Dean's reaction. She had heard of the typical reaction to a one night stand calling months later with the news of a pregnancy and knew that guys normally didn't react well, especially when they had used protection. She had sat at the kitchen table for hours staring at the phone, going through every possible conversation she could think of before she finally made herself pick it up and dialed.
To her surprise Dean hadn't thrown the expected accusations at her. Dean had showed up on their door step a few days later. They had made a half hearted attempt at making something work between the two of them for a couple weeks, but it was forced on both sides. Instead of forcing a relationship Dean just stuck around to help, coming to most of Erin's appointments and helping with the bills when he could. They slowly became tentative friends. Erin had been expecting Dean to bail at any moment for most of pregnancy, she spent the last month hoping that Dean would decide to stick around and before she went into labor she was almost certain that Dean was going to be in this for the long haul, but all uncertainties melted away when the nurse laid little baby Rosalynn in Dean's arms for the first time. The look of utter devotion on his face as he looked down at the little bundle in his arms was enough to assure Erin that he was going to stick around.
Dean was a near permanent fixture in the Voight household for the next couple months as he all but slept in the nursery and jumped at every opportunity to be with his little girl. At one point Erin was jealous of Dean and his ability to calm Rose in a few moments after Erin had paced, bounced, hummed, rocked and swayed with her for hours to no result. Dean would let Erin grumble and bitch, letting it roll off his back before explaining three months in that he had helped raise his little brother after their mother's death. After that Erin couldn't bring herself to be upset knowing that the ability to take care of Rosie had come from a place of trauma, it had definitely put everything in perspective.
Rosie's six month birthday had been horrifying. Erin had told Dean early on that she didn't want to know more about the supernatural then she absolutely had to. The week before Rosie turned six months old had been like looking at a different Dean entirely, a man on a mission that never slept and jumped at the faintest noise. Suddenly there was a gun in their daughter's nursery and weird looking shells in the windows and sigils drawn in chalk on her crib and walls. The most terrifying thing had been the way Dean had looked at her before she'd gone to bed that night and told her not to get out of bed for any reason.
During following week things slowly went back to normal, the gun went back to the car, the shells were removed from the windows and the sigils were wiped away. It was only after the obvious threat had passed that Erin found the courage to ask about it and Dean had hesitantly answered that his mother had been killed on his brother's six month birthday. She didn't ask by what, truly not wanting to know, but it was one of the very few things Erin had learned about Mary Winchester.
Erin knew Hank was more than aware what had happened given his heavy stare when he came home from work that night. Rosie was sitting happily at the table, eating dinner while the adults sat in silence. Camille and Justin were still in the dark, but both knew something was going on. It was only after Erin had put Rosie to bed that Camille cornered Erin in Hank's office to ask what was going on. Erin took a deep breath and braced herself to lie. Sam had been adamant when he was on the phone that this wasn't the end, that he was going to get Dean back no matter what. Sam had told Erin not to tell anyone that didn't know about the supernatural that Dean was dead, because he had no intention of Dean staying that way.
Erin had agreed, but it was more for the sake of not having to admit that Dean was dead then anything else. She hoped beyond hope that Sam was right and that he would be able to bring Dean back, but the logical side of Erin's mind knew that resurrection was something fictional and that she shouldn't be hiding the truth from them. When Erin had asked Sam what she was supposed to tell Rosie when she asked about her father, he told her to say Dean had been in an accident and that he was hurt and couldn't talk, but that he would talk to her as soon as he could.
"Erin, what's going on?" Camille urged as Erin pushed back the tears once again.
"It's Dean." Erin managed and Camille immediately looked alarmed.
"Sam called this morning and told me that Dean's been in some sort of accident. It's not looking good." Erin tried to keep the details as vague as possible while trying remaining close to the truth.
"Oh my God. Pack a bag, I'll get Rosie's bag packed." Camille started but Erin shook her head and grabbed Camille's arm before she could run out of the room.
"No, Sam said that it's really bad and we all know that Dean would never want Rosie to see him like that. Sam said that he'd keep us up to date, but the doctors aren't hopeful." Erin let some tears slip and Camille quickly pulled her into a tight hug as she fought her own tears.
"Dean's strong, Erin. If there's anyone that can pull through this, it would be him." Camille tried to comfort, but it only made the tears fall faster as Erin felt the pain of the false hope in her chest.
"I don't know how to tell Rosie." Erin confided and Camille's breath stuttered.
"We'll tell her the truth. We tell her that her daddy's a little banged up, but he's strong and he's working hard to come back to her, but it's going to take some time and she's going to have to be patient with him." Camille said and Erin nodded. This already seemed like an ever growing web of lies and Erin prayed that Sam pulled through on his promise because this lie wasn't going to hold up for long, Camille and Justin would be expecting news of Dean's recovery or death soon enough.
Erin waited till the weekend before telling Rosie. Erin truly didn't know what to expect from such a young child when she was handed such news, but she wasn't surprised when Rosie demanded to see her father, tears running down her face.
"I know you want to see him, honey, but we can't. Daddy doesn't like it when you see him hurt remember? Uncle Sam's going to call us to let us know how daddy's doing, but we've got to stay here. Can you do that for daddy? The second he's better we'll go see him, how does that sound?" Erin promised and Rosie brightened a little as Erin wiped the tears away from her face.
"Like a road trip?" She asked and Erin smiled.
"Yeah, a road trip. We'll go see daddy and Uncle Sam and maybe you'll even get to meet Uncle Bobby." Rosie smiled brightly and a little of the weight came off Erin's chest.
Sam kept good on his promise to keep them up to date for the first month before he seemed to completely fall off the radar. Erin panicked when it was more than a week without any word from Sam, fearing the worst she called Bobby.
"Yeah?" A gruff voice answered.
"Is this Bobby?" Erin asked and there was a long pause on the other end of the phone.
"Depends, who's this?" The man retorted and Erin couldn't help but smirk at the familiar snark she had so often heard from Dean.
"This is Erin, Dean's Erin." She tried and there was another long pause.
"Well, I'd like to say it's nice to finally speak to you, but I doubt you're calling me to chat." Bobby said cutting straight to the point, already expecting the worst from this phone call.
"Sadly, no. Sam's been staying in contact with me since…" Erin couldn't find the right words to say and even if she could she wouldn't have been able to make herself say them.
"Anyway, he hasn't called in over a week and I just wanted to make sure he's alright." Erin finished and she could hear stuff moving on the other end.
"Well I personally haven't heard anything from Sam in a couple weeks. He left here on a hunt and just stopped returning my calls. I have a contact that just heard from him recently though, he called them two days ago." Bobby reported and Erin let out a breath of relief at the news.
"Thank you, Bobby. Would you mind letting me know if you hear from him?" Erin asked and there was a hum on the other end.
"Only if you do the same. How are you and Little Miss holding up?" Bobby asked and Erin swallowed hard around the lump she hadn't realized was in her throat.
"I'm doing my best to keep it together. Sam asked me not to tell anyone that wasn't in the know for Rosie's sake. Said it would make things easier when he brought Dean back." Erin said and there was a moment of silence on the other end.
"We're hoping for it Erin, but there comes a time when we have to accept the facts." Bobby said and the lump was suddenly making it hard to breathe.
"I understand. I just hope I never have to tell my little girl that her daddy's gone." Erin confided and there was a heavy sigh from Bobby.
"I do, too. I'll give a call if I hear anything else about Sam." Bobby promised and Erin nodded though Bobby couldn't see it.
"Thank you." They disconnected and Erin fought back the tears.
Erin didn't hear again from Sam, despite the repeated calls but sometimes she'd swear she saw Dean's black car every couple weeks just lurking on the edge of her vision. By the end of month three Rosie was getting more and more insistent that she wanted to see Dean and Erin knew the time was coming when she was going to have to let go of her hope and have to face reality. Bobby had called a couple days prior to let her know that Sam was still among the living and had made herself ask him the hard question.
"Bobby, what are the chances that Sam's really gonna bring Dean back?" She asked and there was a long pause.
"I've been searching every book I can for months. I've found vague mentions of things that can bring someone back, but the chance of one of them working and bring back the Dean we knew… We're looking at slim to none." Bobby admitted and Erin closed her eyes.
"I'm gonna have to tell her Bobby, she thinks Dean's going to get better and she's going to get to see him soon. How much longer should I wait? I know how adamant Sam was about bringing Dean back, and I don't want to put Rosie through the pain of hearing that her father's gone just to have him magically appear or have Sam show up and confuse her." Erin plead and Bobby sighed.
"I'm working on tracking Sam down. It's about time he started coming around. Just give me another week to talk to Sam before you break the news."
"Alright." Erin said brokenly before ending the call. Erin laid her phone on her bedside table before laying down on her bed and bursting into tears as she hugged her pillow to her face and chest. This month had been the hardest, loosing hope in Dean's return, starting to grieve for the man that had been her best friend for the last six years, the guilt of lying to her family and the devastating news that Camille had been diagnosed with cancer. It felt like the world was falling down around her and there was nothing she could do to help.
Erin had basically isolated herself away from everyone, It was pretty easy when it came to Hank and Justin, the diagnosis had hit Justin hard and he did everything he could to be out of the house. Hank was completely wrapped up in taking Camille to specialists and reading as much information he could about treatment options in between work and the little sleep he was getting. Camille was merely exhausted by the news, all the doctors and the medications and tests that they had begun running to try to determine the best path to treating the cancer that she had unknowingly been harboring in her body.
The only exception was Rosie. Suddenly Erin was almost completely alone in raising her daughter and going through the roller coaster of emotions that was making her mentally unavailable as she struggled to put one foot in front of another. Erin felt like an utter failure as a mother as Rosie was looking to her for everything and Erin could only give her fifty percent on a good day.
It was only a few days later when Bobby's number popped up on Erin's phone and she felt her heart drop before answering. She didn't want to hear Bobby telling her that he had tracked down Sam and she was clear to tell Rosie the truth. She had been fearing the moment she would have to sit Rosie down and tell her the very thing she knew would hurt her daughter more than anything else in her short life. Even with the call accepted Erin hesitated before bringing the phone to her ear.
"You found Sam?" Erin asked, cutting through the unlikely pleasantries before either of them could be bothered to pretend.
"Actually no, but someone else wants to talk to you." Erin was going to ask who, but she heard the shifting of the phone before she could. There was a moment of shuffling before the noise stopped and a husky voice she never thought she'd hear again came through the receiver.
"Erin?" The voice sounded broken but hopeful and Erin broke into sobs before she completely realized how was on the other end.
"Dean?" She forced out.
"Yeah, it's me." He said and she put a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs. He was back from the dead, from hell, a woman crying in his ear wasn't something he should have to deal with so soon.
"Thank God. I was starting to lose hope." Erin said and Dean hummed.
"I don't mean to be an ass Erin, but is she there?" Dean asked and Erin nodded as she stood from the bed.
"She's asleep, but I'm going to wake her for you." Erin rushed down the hallway and into Rosie's room. Rosie was sound asleep in her bed, tucked into her purple sheets clutching the small teddy bear that Dean had given her last year for Christmas.
"Rosie. Rosie, baby, wake up." Erin said softly and gently shook Rosie's shoulder. Rosie groaned a little and moved her arm toward her face as she squinted at her mother.
"Mommy?" She started and Erin held out the phone.
"Daddy's on the phone, baby." Rosie was instantly awake and sitting up as she reached for the phone.
"Daddy?" Erin couldn't hear Dean's side of the conversation, but Rosie's bright smile was all she needed to know that Dean was talking.
The giant weight that had been sitting on Erin's shoulders for four months now was suddenly gone. The relief was exhausting and Erin was suddenly too tired to leave. She laid down next to Rosie, pulling her close and listening idling as Dean and Rosie talked till it lulled her to sleep, the first real sleep she had gotten since the night Dean died.