Unhinged
Chapter 9
Well, Merry Christmas, if you're still hanging around, waiting for my terribly prolonged periods of writer's block to come to an end. Here's to saying sayonara to 2020. MAN, what a crazy year this has been. After Dashing full-time for the past couple of months, I have had temp job after temp job and you know what? None of them were a very good fit for me. So now I have a new job...as a delivery driver for Papa John's, and I LOVE it. Can you say, "Employee discount"?! 50% off, baby!
Anyway, thanks again for sticking it out with me. And now, on to bigger and better (and hopefully, healthier) things!
Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to DC, Gotham, or any of its characters.
WARNING: Mild sexual content ahead
Oswald Cobblepot winced as beads of sweat dropped off his forehead, and he strained not to move a muscle.
"That crazy trollop!" he thought to himself. "Just wait till I get my hands on her!"
BAM! Oswald heard a door being smashed open.
"Oswald?!" he heard a voice say.
"IN HERE!" he screamed, his voice still muffled by the barrel in his mouth.
Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock made their way down the hall.
"Hold it!" Jim said, pointing out the door with all the wires.
"Oswald?!" Harvey called. "You in there, Mr. Mayor?!"
There was a muffled response from behind the door. Painted across it were the words "ONE FALSE MOVE". "HA HA HA" and "KABOOM" were painted on the walls around the door, over and over again.
"Get the bomb squad on the line", said Jim.
Harvey nodded and stepped to the side to make the call. Jim spotted a window above the door and grabbed a chair from the dining room. He slid it under the door and stepped up to look inside. There, he could see Oswald struggling to keep a barrel in his mouth. His eyes followed the wires connected to the barrel back to the door he was standing next to. Oswald suddenly spotted him and tried to say something, only to have the barrel slip a few inches, causing him to panic.
"Don't move!" Jim shouted through the window. "We're getting the bomb squad now!"
"They're ten minutes out", said Harvey, finishing his call.
"We may not have that long", said Jim. "It doesn't look like he can hold that barrel much longer."
"Well, what are we gonna do? Neither one of us knows how to defuse that bomb!"
"No", said Jim, "but we do know someone who might."
…
Harley Quinn twirled her long blonde ponytail around her finger and watched the hidden security camera feed in Oswald's study. She couldn't wait to see the aftermath of her little game. She half-smiled as Jeremiah came in.
"Hi, puddin'", she said sweetly, and Jeremiah grinned at her.
Harley snapped the laptop shut and placed it on the table in front of her, motioning for him to sit down next to her. Jeremiah took a seat.
"And just what were you up to earlier?" he said as Harley moved closer.
"Just takin' care of some...unfinished business", Harley said, nibbling at his ear.
"Oh?"
Jeremiah closed his eyes as Harley's mouth moved over to his neck and she peppered him with kisses.
"What unfinished business was that?"
"The best kind: Revenge."
Harley squealed with delight as Jeremiah pulled her on top of him. Their lips met in a searing kiss, and he lifted her tight top over her head. She shook it off, her ponytails bouncing on his shoulders. Harley threw her arms around Jeremiah's neck and they kissed again.
Jeremiah grunted as Harley ripped open his shirt and ran her hands over his chest, massaging it.
"I don't suppose you'll tell me anymore?" said Jeremiah, leaning his head back as Harley kissed his chest.
"Why tell ya when I can show ya!"
Giggling, Harley opened the laptop again and Jeremiah chuckled as he saw Oswald trapped in his own mansion.
"Oh, well done", he said. "You're quite the little artist, aren't you?"
Their lips smashed together once more and Jeremiah grasped Harley's backside, hoisting her into the air. Glancing towards the bedroom, Harley grinned devilishly and wrapped her legs around his waist.
"Oh, you want this?" Jeremiah breathed, sucking on her neck.
Harley gasped and tilted her head back, loving the feel of his lips on her skin.
"I do."
Jeremiah's fingers moved to undo the clasp of her bra.
"Say it."
It fell to the floor.
"Say it."
Harley gasped as his mouth moved over her chest.
"Pretty...pretty...pretty…" he said in between kisses.
"Please!" Harley whined, unable to take much more. "Please, puddin'!"
"Ah."
Jeremiah grinned in satisfaction as Harley dug her fingers into his shoulders.
"That's my girl."
Harley grunted as he gripped her backside again and carried her to the bedroom, slamming the door behind them.
…
"Well, I'd say the mayor's in a tight spot, eh?"
Alfred examined the wires and stepped up on the chair to look at Oswald again.
"Do you think you can defuse it?" said Jim.
"Well, during my time in the military, I was more of a medic; but I did do the bomb squad for a couple of months before that."
"Fascinating", said Harvey. "Can we get on with it, old man?"
Alfred ignored the comment, focusing on the wires once more.
"There's a possibility that if we cut the blue wires, that could disarm the bomb", he said. "But it could also set it off and blow us all to smithereens."
"Yeah, let's not do that", said Jim.
From inside the study, Oswald groaned as the barrel slid a few more inches from his mouth. He gripped it as hard as he could with his teeth, which only made him want to let go more.
"Hurry!" he tried to shout.
"We're out of time", said Bullock. "What's it gonna be?"
Alfred carefully bent down and grabbed the blue wires from the door. He reached into his back pocket and withdrew some wire cutters. Taking a deep breath, he cut the blue wire...and nothing happened.
"Okay, I think we-"
BE-BEEP! BE-BEEP! BE-BEEP! A high-pitched beeping sounded from the study, steadily growing in pace. Oswald screamed.
"Hit the deck!" Jim yelled, pulling Alfred to the ground as Bullock landed next to them.
There was a sizzling noise, and then silence. Alfred, Jim and Harvey lifted their heads to see that the door was smoking, but nothing had exploded. They got up and slowly moved towards the door.
"KABOOM! HA HA HA HA!" came Harley's deranged voice from the barrel in Oswald's mouth.
"It was a fake", Jim realized. "Oswald was never in any real danger, here."
"So this whole thing was some sick joke?"
"Sick being the key word, isn't it?" said Alfred.
Having overheard their conversation, Oswald spit out the barrel and fumed.
"I'm going to get that sorry bitch", he said.
…
Harley giggled to herself as she watched Oswald blow a gasket once he realized that he'd been tricked.
"Aww, poor Pengy", she crooned. "Outdone by a psycho."
She chuckled, but then stopped as she saw Bruce Wayne enter the frame. Though much of her had changed since the last time they saw each other, there was a part of her (that was REALLY hard to get rid of) that still cared about that kid. GOD, was that annoying.
"Oh, Brucie", she said to herself, sighing and resting her head on her hand. "Why can't you be part of our little family?"
Suddenly, she had an idea.
"Yeah; why can't you?"
Smiling, she sprung from the couch and went back to the bedroom where Jeremiah was still resting. She jumped onto the bed and surprised him awake with a peck on the lips.
"Oh, looking for Round 2?" he said, his eyebrows raised.
"Maybe in a minute", she said. "I've got an idea, puddin'!"
…
"Then that sadistic PSYCHO told Edward to go find a new family!" Oswald finished giving his statement. "If I ever see her again, I'll kill her!"
"So it was Harley", said Jim.
"Oh, man", said Harvey. "This is gonna break the kid's heart."
Jim looked down the hall where he saw Bruce deep in conversation with Alfred.
"Yeah", he said. "I know."
Bruce came inside the study.
"Did you get the mayor's statement?" he asked.
"Yeah; yeah, we got it, kid."
"Bruce, I need to talk to you", said Jim.
"Can it wait, Detective Gordon? I need to resume my search for Jeremiah. The sooner I find him, the sooner we'll find Harleen."
"Bruce, Harleen is the one who did this to the mayor."
"You're wrong. Harleen would never-"
"Harleen is gone, Bruce! She's gone. And she's never coming back, no matter what you may try to do for her. Oswald said she's completely mad, head over heels in love with Jeremiah, and nothing is going to snap her out of it. I'm sorry; but as of right now, Harley Quinn is just another criminal."
Bruce was speechless for a few moments, and then he nodded resolutely.
"And all criminals should be brought to justice", he said. "So if I hear from her...I'll do the right thing."
"Thank you, Bruce."
Jim laid a hand on Bruce's shoulder, but he shrugged it off. Eyes downcast, he walked back out to the hallway.
"Master B? You alright?"
The teen ignored his butler and trudged back to the car.
Okay; so since the weird, cult-like relationship thing is something I'm DEFINITELY not used to writing, I promise that will be the absolute LAST time I attempt it. Sorry, guys. More writing to come soon! Here's to a very Happy New Year!
-Imagigirl20