Author's notes: Hey everyone and welcome to the 30 days countdown!
30 more days until Surrera are back on our screens!
This is my first Surrera as parents fic and this is my headcanon.
As always, thank you for all the love, and I hope that you leave your thoughts on this one too if you feel like doing it.
Hope you enjoy this one!
"Everything looks exactly as it should be." Carina concludes, then peels off the gloves she wears and throws them away in the nearest trash can. The doctor starts to make her way through the examining room, washing her hands and sanitizing all the equipment she used to check on Andy. "You know, you can get up and start getting dressed. I am done, everything is normal for a woman six months after giving birth." Carina says again, just in case Andy didn't hear her the first time.
The fire fighter still sits on the examining chair, her legs spread open, and she is staring into the wall across from her, perplexed.
"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Carina asks, even though she has a few more back to back appointments, and she really needs Andy to clear the room, otherwise she is going to be behind her schedule. Yet she has learned to know the firefighter quite well in the few years that has passed by since she started dating Maya, and she knows that there is something on her mind. She also knows that Andy won't leave until she gets whatever it is that is burdening on her chest out in the open.
"We are friends, right? Can I say we are friends?" Andy inquires. "You and Maya have been together for years now, you are as much of a part of the station family as any of us is, and you were the one who helped me through the very slow, painful process of delivering my babies. So can I say we are friends?"
"It was only painful because you didn't want to do what I recommended you to do. It would have made it so much smoother, but it was your choice." Carina pulls at her shoulders, and Andy can feel herself turning a bright shade of red. The last thing she wanted to think about is that specific idea of natural pain reliever the doctor had offered her during her very intense labor.
And yet, the thought of the particular expression Robert had when Carina brought up that idea so very nonchalantly makes a smile spread up on Andy's face.
"And you said I was clear for having sex, right?" Andy continues, ignoring the comment Carina just made. "All kinds of sex, no restrictions what so ever?"
The doctor turns, and looks at Andy in a mixture of confusion and shock as she understands what the firefighter was trying to say. "You haven't had sex with that gorgeous, tall, firefighter of yours ever since you gave birth?"
Andy feels humiliated as she gets up from the chair and makes her way to the little hidden area in the room where she left her clothes. "I would really appreciate it if you won't talk about my husband like that."
"Honey, I am happily taken, and you know that." She can barely hear the doctor say behind the sound of the crackling medical tools she puts back in place and the drawers she slams shut. "Is there something wrong?"
"Yes, No, I don't know." Andy grunts as she pulls her underwear and her pants up her body. "Before I got pregnant, it seemed like he could never have enough. Seriously, I had to push him off of me sometimes, because it was just too much. And it wasn't a thing that only happened when we were first married. It didn't fade away for years. "
She can hear Carina's laughter from the other side of the room. "Yes, I do remember the day a couple of years back when you came in with so much pain and I had to break it to you that you got yourself a nasty urinary tract infection from having too much sex, and that you had to slow down or otherwise it would have gotten much worse. I remember you being not very happy about that, and it is safe to say your husband wasn't either."
Andy's face turns red again, and she is glad the doctor can't see her at the moment. She has her way of knowing exactly what buttons to push to make a person squirm in embarrassment. Andy tries to keep her voice as leveled as possible as she continues to let the thing she has been keeping on her heart for the last couple of months out, hoping that Carina will never know how humiliated she feels. "I am just scared that he doesn't find me as desirable now, after my body has been through all of that. He keeps saying that he loves me, and keeps showering me with sweet talk and compliments like he has been doing since the moment we got together, but he didn't even try to make a move to get things heated up." She sighs before zipping her pants up and making her way towards the door.
"Andrea, come here." Carina coaxes. Since Pruitt's death, no one around her really uses her full name anymore. But Andrea is also the name of Carina's brother, and Andy thinks that's the reason she likes her full name so much. The firefighter grabs her purse and stands in front of her doctor, who has also become her friend over the years. "You are every bit as attractive as you were before those lives were conceived inside of you. I have seen a fair share of new mamas as part of my job, and a lot of them have the same concern. But your body did a miracle, and there is no reason to be ashamed of that. Men are idiots, Andrea, and sometimes you have to be very specific about what you want from them, otherwise they remain clueless. Just talk to him, I am sure he didn't even notice anything was different."
"Thank you, Carina." Andy smiles at her, as she opens the door to leave the room and let the doctor go back to her own business. She has kept her from her job long enough.
"No problem Andrea." Carina smiles back. "Oh, and just so you know." Andy stops and turns around to hear what she has to say. "Your husband is very handsome and tall, but if I wanted to make a move on someone in your marriage, it wouldn't have been him." Carina winks, and the doctor can hear Andy's laughter even after the new mom closes the door behind her.
"Robert, I think we should move." Andy whispers, her free hand caressing up and down his arm.
"You know that if I do as much as breathe the wrong way they are going to wake up. And frankly, I don't think I have it in me to go anywhere, even if she wasn't sleeping on my chest." He mutters, trying to keep as quiet as possible in order not to wake up one of the babies, who will in turn, wake up their sibling.
"Do you want to hand her to me, then? I can take care of the both of them if you want to take a shower and get some sleep."
"Are you telling me I stink?" Robert chuckles, and regrets it immediately, because Rayna starts to stir. He holds his breath for a long moment, until he can see her tiny face relaxing again as she drifts back to deep sleep.
"I am just saying that you smell like you transferred to station 23. And they never use their showers." Andy giggles. Robert is lying with his head in her lap, but she knows that if he was able to get a good look at her, he would have given her one of his death glares that used to scare her good when they just met, but as time went by the effect of them faded away. "Babe, you have been awake almost the entire night, juggling between these two. Get some sleep."
"You know that the moment I will let her go, she will start screaming and won't calm down until I pick her up again." Robert states, and Andy knows that is true. Their son always seemed to manage with either of his parents showering him with attention, never really minding who will be the one to take care of him, as long as somebody does. Their daughter, on the other hand, seemed to be completely awestruck by her father from the first moment she came into this world. He was the first person she smiled to, and she is only content when he takes care of her. Whenever Andy tries to do as little as to pick her up, the little girl starts to scream, and her dad comes running to save his little princess.
Of course he does.
"Sometimes the amount of attention and love she gets from you makes me jealous." Andy jokes. She knows her husband is a great father to both of their children, but as his time and attention has to be divided between work and taking care of the twins, it seems like there hasn't been enough time to take care of their relationship ever since their babies were born six months ago.
The dates outside and the cozy nights at home, the mind-blowing sex and the naked, lazy late night conversations in bed, they all disappeared once the two kids showed up in this world, and were replaced by nightly feedings and long strolls around the neighborhood park.
"What can I say? I have another woman in my life now. I am sorry, babe, but you will have to get used to that." He whispers. He moves his head down and inhales the smell of their daughter, and then places the softest kiss to the top of her head. "She even smells better than you. She smells like a baby."
"I don't know, I recall you used to like smelling me. Especially when I smelled like sex and sweat and you." She teases. Andy wants to lower her head and place a soft kiss on his lips, but the way they are occupying the sofa is rather strange, as she sits down on one side, and he lies sprawled all over the length of it, his legs half in the air, and she knows that as soon as she does it, as soon as she makes the sharp change in her position, Luke is going to wake up.
They are silent for a long while, and her eyelids start to feel heavy, her mind drifting, but she knows that she can't fall asleep, not as long as he stays awake. She somehow managed to get some decent amount of rest last night, while he did the majority of taking care of the babies, who woke up every five minutes it seemed.
"Do you think it will ever go away? Being exhausted all the time?" He asks her. She can tell how tired he is, learnt to read him so well by now, but he keeps himself awake, keeps his eyes open wide, and there is even a half smile at the tips of his lips.
On some days, much like today, Andy can't possibly understand how he does that. How he looks so whole when she finds herself falling apart.
"They are going to sleep through the night at some point, Robert." Andy promises.
"Yeah, and then I will have to stay up all night worrying, waiting for them to return home in the middle of the night from whatever party they are going to attend and not tell us about, and I will have to make sure she is not going out with any guys until she is thirty years old. Just the thought of that makes me feel fatigue."
"You know they are not going to turn from seven months old to seventeen years old that fast, right?" Andy inquiries, even though it does feel like that sometimes. Every day, every moment, something changes about the two of them, and she is so scared that if she will only do as much as blink, she is going to miss something small but important, and her babies will never be the same.
"It is just a lot. Having two of them." Robert concludes, and Andy doesn't know if his statement is meant for her, or just to reassure himself.
"Would you have it any other way?" Andy asks, even though she knows the answer.
Conceiving them was a hard and long process.
Robert has always been a natural father, but Andy needed a little bit of a push in the right direction before she was fully on board with the idea of becoming a mother. It took her time, and many late night conversations in bed about the possibility of a life just the two of them, and about the alternative, the one that includes more members joining their family, until she finally decided it was the right time.
They tried and tried, and with every at-home pregnancy exam reading negative, Andy's heart broke a little bit further, and Robert had to pick up the pieces, month after month, cycle after cycle. They were so close to giving up and heading in a different direction to become a family, were almost sure that at least one of them had a medical issue that didn't allow Andy to conceive, but then, after so many months of heartbreak and pain, the positive result finally came in.
No long after, Carina let them know that they were expecting not one, but two other members to join the little family they were building, and after nine long months of morning sicknesses and swollen ankles, they finally emerged into this world.
Lucas and Rayna, named after two men who are no longer between the living, but were true friends to their parents, and they will forever have a place in both of their hearts. Andy and Robert hoped that by naming them after their best friends, they will be best friends to each other, too, as they will grow older.
"You know I wouldn't." Robert answers.
"What if…" Andy starts. "We will make some phone calls, see who wants a little bit of baby time on their day off, so we could have some time alone, just the two of us?" She suggests.
"And what are we gonna do with all the free time we will suddenly have in our hands?" Robert asks, and suddenly his voice lowers, and not only to keep the kids from waking up.
"Oh I will make it worth your while." Andy promises. Robert raises a brow in her direction, encouraging her to elaborate on whatever plan she has in mind. She takes her free hand away from him and covers Luke's ear, as if at six months he can understand or repeat what she is about to say. She mouths the word "Blowjob", and then bites down on her lower lip.
It is something she knows he very much enjoys, but doesn't get around to doing that for him too frequently. It has always been one of her biggest insecurities, even though he does everything in his power to explain to her what makes him feel good, and to reassure her. He is usually more than eager to do the same thing for her, and more often than not he gets forgotten in the process of their foreplay, dedicating all of his attention to her.
He smirks at her, before he asks. "Who do you think we should call to babysit?"
"Jack and Inara." Andy suggests.
"Maya and Carina." Robert mentions their names exactly at the same time as she brings up the other couple.
"Do you want Maya to take care of our babies? Out of all the people in the world? Really?" Andy inquires with a raised brow and a questioning look on her face, trying to convey the message that she is thinking back to every decision he ever made for the both of them, debating if he is even capable of making a right call at all.
"Well, that is the reason I mentioned Carina too. She is a babies' doctor, after all."
"She is not a babies' doctor, Robert." Andy snorts. "She is the doctor who takes care of expecting mothers during the pregnancy, among other things. She is the doctor who caught these two." She points at the sleeping babies. "When they were pushed out of here." She points at her belly.
"Do you really want to have Jack of all people around when we will try to have sex in our bedroom upstairs?" Robert asks. "I know for a fact it won't bother Carina and Maya, but your ex?"
"Well, Inara is a mom. And Jack has been a father figure for Marcus since the moment the two met." Andy tries to reason her thoughts.
"Yeah, when Marcus was eight! If I will need someone to help them with math homework when they are in elementary school, I will make sure to call Gibson!" He is talking too loudly, the conversation getting too heated, and before they know Ray wakes up and starts to cry.
Robert finally moves, cradles his daughter in one hand and pushes himself to a sitting position with the other. He stands up and starts to pace slowly through the living room, rocking the baby gently back and forth in his arms, trying to sooth her, trying to figure out what is wrong.
When her brother wakes up as well, Andy gives up and says. "Fine. I will call Maya and Carina. Just don't expect Maya to change any diapers."
"Carina dragged me here." Maya huffs as she walks through the door, pointing at her significant other, letting the two parents know she is not at all happy with what her plans for her night off turned out to be.
"I will make it up to you." Carina promises, as she walks into the house and takes Luke from Andy's reached out arms. The baby stares at the doctor for a while with his dark, curious eyes, and after he decides that she is good enough, a small smile spreads across his tiny face.
"Just please don't tell me you agreed to this arrangement because you are trying to convince me to pop one of those out of me." Maya requests. "Because Andy might have been fine with making this choice that has alternated her body, and her relationship, and her life to a point where they are unrecognizable, but I won't do the same."
"Thank you, Maya. You make me feel so very confident." Andy says, trying to keep her face completely unreadable, so her friend won't know she touched a sensitive spot. She is grateful, though, because that means Carina hasn't let the conversation they had the other day slip.
"Always." Maya promises. She makes her way to Ray, who lies in her little crib in the living room. The little girl keeps quiet, looks content enough, even though Robert isn't around to hold her. Andy prays that she will keep up with this unusual behavior, just long enough for Andy to have her husband all to herself for the next couple of hours.
Andy gets closer to Luke, who seems satisfied in the arms of the other woman. She bends down and places a soft kiss to her son's little forehead, and as she does she whispers. "Thank you. I know you were the one to convince Maya to spend some time here."
"No problem, mama." Carina smiles at her. "Now go. Go to your very attractive husband and get some." She coaxes.
"There are clean diapers, clothes and anything else you might need in these drawers." Andy points out in the right direction "And there is some milk I pumped earlier in the fridge, but I just fed them so they shouldn't be hungry." She notifies the two, to Maya's very vocal sounds of disgust. "We are going to be upstairs if you need us. But please, please, don't need us." She begs, glaring at Maya pointedly.
Andy makes her way to Robert, and interlaces their fingers together. "Thank you Bishop, DeLuca." He nods towards the couple in acknowledgment, and then climbs up the stairs to their bedroom, Andy following him closely.
She is kissing him as soon as the door closes behind them, pushing his body against it, and reaches for the key blindly to lock the door. It has been a while since they shared a kiss like this one, passionate, heated, one that is supposed to get him hard and her wet. It is awkward at first, and it takes a while, but they finally find their right, familiar rhythm. He pushes her, and she walks backwards slowly, never breaking the contact, until her legs hit the bed. He shoves her lightly, and as her body falls into the mattress, he climbs on top of her.
Her husband's lips find her neck, and she giggles as she feels his breaths tickling down her throat. He kisses and nibs at the sensitive spot he knows she likes, and his fingers trail lower, picking the hems of her shirt up and trying to lift the fabric above her head.
Andy stops him with a soft hand on his chest, pushing him away from her lightly.
"Is anything wrong?" Robert asks, the look on his face full of worry. He is concerned, but he is also tired, a feeling which she knows he tries to hold back from her, for her, but doesn't do even a half decent job hiding it away.
"I…" Andy starts, but is hesitant to say the words that will let him know how she really feels.
"Babe. Please don't hold back." He requests. "Whatever it is, share it with me, and I will do my best to try and fix it for you."
Andy lets go of the air she has been holding in her lungs as she breathes out the thing that has been causing her to look away every time she stares into a mirror. "My body is not the same as it was before I got pregnant." She admits.
They keep silent after her statement, and she can almost see the train of thoughts cruising in his mind behind his eyes.
"May I?" He asks for her approval to continue with his intentions. Andy nods, and he lifts the shirt she wears over her head and throws it far away, until it lands on the floor next to the door, her pants follow quickly.
She is left lying beneath him in nothing but her underwear, and she suddenly feels bare, naked, overly conscious of everything that isn't completely perfect in her body anymore. She tires to cover her belly with her arms, but he pulls them away, exposing her completely under his touch. "Don't you ever, ever think that you have to hide anything about yourself from me." Robert insists. He told her that so many times now, over and over again, but sometimes, in moments like this, she needs him to remind her.
He moves down the bed a little bit and starts to kiss her abdomen. He goes slowly, pointedly, makes a trail down her belly, and when he is done, he moves further down to her thighs.
Until she understands. He kisses every one of her stretch marks, every piece of skin that isn't as tight as it used to be.
"This body carried the two beautiful babies downstairs. My babies. If anything, I love it even more than before, though I don't think it is possible." He whispers into her skin, then keeps kissing softly.
"It just seemed like you weren't very interested since they were born." Andy admits, and sighs as he bits down on one spot pointedly.
"You really thought it was because I wasn't attracted to you anymore?" Robert asks, finding it hard to believe. He climbs up her body again, leaving a trail of wet, hot kisses on every exposed piece of skin his lips are able to find. He pushes away a piece of hair that fell on her face as he explains. "I can't think of a day where I won't be as drawn to you as I am now, as I was on the day we first kissed in the station, or the day you came to this very house and told me that I make you feel. But our lives have changed ever since they were born, and suddenly spontaneous sex on the sofa, or against the desk in my office, or in the shower is not much of an option anymore. We will just have to do a little bit more planning in advance if we want to have some alone time. Only until they go to college. Then I plan to fuck you properly in every possible spot in this house." Robert smiles.
"I have to wait till they go to college?" Andy raises a brow.
Robert tries to say something that will keep up their banter, but instead he just lets out a huge yawn, and Andy can see he is barely keeping his eyelids open.
"I think we should use this time to catch up on some sleep, and maybe we will be able to schedule some alone time on another day?" Andy offers. She wants to have sex, wants to take advantage of whatever breathing room Maya and Carina provide, but she can't be selfish.
"But you wanted to…" Robert trails off, already lying on his side of the bed.
She doesn't say anything, just caresses his cheek lightly, then turns around to set the alarm on her phone to wake them up in a few hours.
When she checks again after a few seconds, he is already sound asleep on the other side of the bed.
More notes: feel like I need to do some explanations about the names I chose. I feel like Lucas is obvious. I know there are a couple of ways to spell the name Rayna, but the way I chose means "the song of God" rather than the other ways that means queen. Also I feel like this way resembles the name Ryan the most.
Also, I just like the name spelled like that.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!