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Butterfly and Moth
Chapter 9 – Back in the Land of Fire
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The third day of their journey back to the Land of Fire was a quiet one. Everything went according to Tobirama's plan. They were following roads again now that they were in allied land and he had marked a route on his map. They passed the towns that lay on their way right on schedule, and Tobirama predicted that they would cross the border to the Land of Fire in the early afternoon.
They passed merchants, travelers and samurai on their way. Most of them ignored them, but some stopped to offer help. With their shabby clothes back on instead of the fresh yukata from the ryoukan, their appearance spoke volumes. But Tobirama always made sure to decline and be on his way again.
Akari barely spoke on his back. For the first few travelers they talked to, she insisted on being let down. Eventually she stopped asking and stayed on his back.
They took a short break close to a village around noon. They were out of money and thus there was not much to do for them. Akari asked to wait outside, farther away from the village, as Tobirama left to fill their water bottle at a fountain.
There had not been a trace of Iwagakure since Muu's attack. And while they were not yet home, in their own country, it felt fairly safe leaving her with the Hiraishin seal.
When Tobirama returned to the little bench he'd left her at with two filled bottles of fresh water, Akari's eyes were closed. Her head swayed left, before swinging back. She twitched and her eyes shot open.
"You are back," she quickly said.
"Tired?" It wasn't really a question. It was obvious she had barely slept the night prior. And the night before that.
But Akari shook her head and claimed, "Just resting my eyes." She then hopped back on Tobirama's back.
"You can sleep while I walk," he said as he started walking back to the last crossroad. "I'll wake you should the situation require it."
"Huh? No, I was only kidding when I said that last night. I'm not even tired," she protested. "I told you, just resting my eyes."
"Right," he said before dropping the conversation.
It didn't take long and Akari had fallen asleep. Tobirama could tell from the slow and steady breathing, and the additional weight of her head resting on his shoulder.
It really made no difference to him whether she was awake or asleep. He just kept walking.
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Akari was still asleep when Tobirama reached the border to the Land of Fire.
A samurai guarding the road stopped them. He asked Tobirama to state name and intentions. They had a short conversation, the samurai called one of his superiors, another conversation followed.
Contrary to Tobirama's expectation, Akari did not wake and did not seem bothered by the voices around her.
They then stepped aside and let them pass, wishing them a good journey. And like that, Tobirama set foot on his homeland again.
The horizon he walked towards was dark and cloudy, and made him fear they would end up in the rain soon. Wet clothes on their last day before reaching Konoha had not been part of his plan.
But it seemed they had just missed the rain. The ground he walked on was still wet, and the air smelled of fresh water. The scent around them was much different from the one in the mountains. The air in the Land of Earth had been icy and dry. Here, it was warm and damp, and familiar.
Tobirama's back could have used a short break, but he didn't want to wake her. She was still sleeping peacefully, one deep breath followed by another, and after the events of the last two days, he didn't want to take that from her.
So he kept going, just a bit longer.
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Akari woke up to a deep rumble in her stomach.
She stretched her back and arms as far as possible before realizing where she was and that she was still being carried. It came as a shock to her that she had actually fallen asleep, and she prayed that it had only been for a few minutes. She looked around to get an idea of where they were and how much time had passed.
"Good morning," Tobirama said, and Akari had to realize he was well aware she had fallen asleep.
She apologized. He let her down.
"Your stomach has been rumbling forever now. I'm surprised you didn't wake up earlier."
She creased her face into a frown. Her lips already parted in protest, but she then closed them again. "Where are we?" she asked instead.
He took out his map, considered for a moment, then said, "I'd say we are around here."
She glanced on the map to get an idea as well, then ripped it out of his hands to stare at it. "No way! I've slept through all of that? And we even passed the borders?"
He nodded, then took the map back from her. "I'd planned to spend the next night in this village. We won't really be able to afford anything though, so I'm not sure yet whether we'll find a place to stay. Maybe we could find someone who knows my brother and would take us in." His finger traced northwards, away from the road they were on, to the woods. "But for now, we could go to this river here. Fish a bit for food."
"I don't need to eat," she quickly said. "Let's follow your plan and head to the next village."
He raised his eyebrows at her. "Just like you didn't need sleep? We are still almost a whole day away from Konoha. And even if we took a break of a few hours now, we'll still reach the next town in time." She didn't look convinced, so he added, "Besides, I'm hungry too."
"Fine," she said and waited for him to offer his back.
He didn't just yet and massaged his shoulders first while stretching his back. "My back could use a break too. My shoulders are all stiff from carrying you around all day."
She slapped his arm in a sulking manner, something he had not expected from her. "I already said 'fine'. Do you need me to say it again? Fine, let's take a break."
He could see why his brother liked her. She was easy to tease, even when he hadn't intended it. And Hashirama enjoyed poking fun at people all day long.
He smiled and picked her up. He could only guess that he was still carrying a pouting face on his back as he left the road and walked towards the forest.
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The river ran straight through the forest. It was fairly big, and the air was filled with rushing as tons of waters whooshed past stones.
Tobirama searched for a comfy spot without much bushes and a few big stones to sit on before letting Akari down. She looked around, and decided she'd rather stand. The world around them was wet from rain.
She still carried the Hiraishin kunai, so Tobirama said, "You wait here. I'll make a fire and see if I can find some fish."
"I can light the fire," she immediately said. "There's wood literally everywhere here, so it's not like I'd have to walk much." She grabbed a tall stick that was lying nearby. "See? I even have my own walking cane now."
He didn't think it was necessary for her to help, but still left her to it. She started collecting branches and twigs that lay nearby. Around her, trees rustled in the wind and little drops of water fell down on her. It didn't matter that all the wood was damp. Jutsu was strong enough.
Once she had a small pile, she used a fire jutsu, and within seconds, the wood was on fire. It was fairly small yet, so she decided to take her stick and walk a bit to search for more.
Despite her foot hurting, moving around felt pleasant to her muscles and bones. She looked over to Tobirama, who was walking downstream searching for their dinner. There were many ways for a shinobi to effectively catch fish. Yet Hashirama usually preferred the traditional one: with a fishing rod and a lot of time. There'd been many days and missions when Akari, Inori and Riku had to wait hours for their teacher to return. She wondered how Tobirama would catch the fish.
She collected a few bigger branches and threw them on a pile next to their little campfire. It left a film of wet moss and molding wood on her hands. It stank of rotting wood and mushrooms.
So she went to the river, and kneeled at the riverbank to wash her hands.
She stayed a bit longer, close to the water. She liked how fresh it was, how smooth the surface was. Yet its current was strong and ruthless. Her father once told her that was how an exceptional shinobi ought to be - like water.
The ground beneath her was muddy from the rain, so when Akari stood up again, she found herself slipping.
Quickly she shifted her weight onto her other foot, the foot that was supposed to give stability. But it was also the broken one, and almost instantly, a sharp pain stopped her from relying on it.
She lost her balance even more, and was unable to recover it. She fell. Straight towards the water.
The shock of diving into ice cold water made her body forget about the pain in her ankle.
She gasped in, and out, and crawled up the riverbank again.
Tobirama appeared with an alarmed look on his face.
"What happened?" He urged as he grabbed her arm to pull her out and away from the water.
Akari stumbled and fell onto the muddy forest ground, where she decided to sit for a moment. She didn't exactly feel cold just yet, but she couldn't speak.
It took her a bit until she realized she was still gasping for air, and a bit longer then to control her breathing again.
Tobirama was kneeling in front of her, waiting for an explanation.
"I slipped…" she weakly admitted. Her voice sounded like she had just run a marathon.
"You slipped? Are you serious?" he asked in disbelief.
He grabbed her arm to try and pull her up, but she didn't move. "We have to get you back for the fire."
"Yes, sorry," she quietly said and got up. Her body felt heavy, her muscles numb from the shock. As they walked back to the fire, she started feeling the cold. And by the time they arrived, her body was shaking uncontrollably.
"You'll have to take off your -"
She pulled away from him, knowing well enough what he was about to say. "I will not."
"You'll freeze," he said.
She sat down close to the fire. It didn't matter anymore that the stone she sat on was still a bit moist. She herself was dripping wet. "I'd rather freeze than take my clothes off in front of you."
Tobirama sighed and frowned, and dropped his armor, then took off his pullover. When Akari glanced at him, she saw it flying at her, and the black fabric landed right in her face. The white fur that had been attached to his armor soon followed.
"I don't need your smelly pullover." she said while she studiously avoided looking at his body. The awareness that her words were rude was buried somewhere beneath annoyance at herself and a firmly rooted embarrassment.
"And I don't need a Hyuuga with a lung infection. I was aiming at returning you to Konoha somehow intact, but you are not making it easy."
He waited a moment. Akari kept sitting there, arms wrapped around the soaked sleeves of her dress, eyes focused on some tree in the opposite direction.
"Look around you. There is not a single person here, except for me. And I couldn't be less interested in watching you take off your clothes. I'll go and see if I can find a village nearby." He frowned at her, knowing she was still reluctant to take up his offer and wear the damn pullover. So he added, "It's not like I can carry you to the next town like this. You are like a wet sponge."
Akari was left alone with Tobirama's pullover and the white fur. Especially the latter felt soft and warm in her hands. It was the opposite of her dripping wet clothes that clung to her skin like a soaked potato bag.
So she eventually activated her Byakugan and looked around. The only person she found was Tobirama. He was moving away from her, rushing through the forest. He never looked back.
"Couldn't be less interested," she repeated to herself with a snarl as she untied her dress and let it fall to the ground.
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Tobirama returned around half an hour later, saying he could not find a village nearby, but an old abandoned cabin with a fireplace.
Akari was embarrassed to be sitting there wearing only his pullover. Her legs she had tucked up and buried somewhere inside the pullover as well. The fur was wrapped around her shoulders and smelled too much of Tobirama. The only thing trumping her embarrassment over being half naked was the embarrassment of having fallen into the river in the first place.
But Tobirama's eyes showed no reaction when he saw her, at least none she could spot. There was no hidden smirk because he'd won, and no hint of the same embarrassment Akari was feeling about the whole situation.
"We might be able to spend the night in the cabin and let your clothes dry."
Akari wasn't sure whether spending the night in a desolate cabin with Tobirama made her situation better or worse. "So we are not continuing today?"
"I haven't eaten yet. Besides, it hardly matters. We'll just have to walk a bit farther tomorrow before we reach Konoha. We should still be able to make it back before nightfall."
Her eyes dropped. "Is the cabin far?"
"Quite a bit, yes."
She sighed, and stood up. The pullover fell down her legs like a dress almost, but it still left her feeling that she was dressed inappropriately, and it was much different from the dresses she usually wore. "Fine, then. Carry me. It's not like I haven't lost my last bit of dignity already. First I get myself kidnapped, then I break my ankle, and now I'm even stupid enough to fall into a river. And here I am."
"That's what's bothering you? Your own incompetence?"
"Of course! How could it not?" she yelled back at him in an outburst of annoyance.
"Stupid mistakes happen to the best of us. It's smartest to accept them and do better next time. So from now on, maybe you should just sit down and let others take care of things until your ankle is healed."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better or worse?" She was still yelling, and for a moment, feared she would also start crying. But crying out of frustration was not her, so she quickly swallowed her feelings down again and took a deep breath.
But Tobirama had noticed, and his attitude too changed.
"You know who the last person I had to carry on my shoulders was?" He got into a more comfortable standing position that showed Akari they weren't going anywhere any time soon. When she sat down again and reluctantly shook her head, he said, "My brother. The Hokage. Because despite being a Senju, he managed to get so drunk he couldn't stand anymore. And I can't just leave the Hokage of our village to sleep in some alleyway with the other drunks, right?"
It didn't quite have the effect on her he'd hoped for, so he continued.
"And a few months back, my team and I were on a mission and Kagami prepared dinner. It was stew. One of his better creations actually, at least regarding the taste. When Hiruzen fished out a mahou mushroom, it was already too late. Danzou was the only one who didn't have any because he was still scouting. So he had to tend to us for almost two days while we were completely knocked out from the mushrooms."
That story had Akari crack a small smile. "Are you making this up? I never heard about that."
"We all promised to keep it a secret. Kagami felt very embarrassed that he mistook the mushrooms for their edible counterpart."
"You just broke that promise then."
He smiled. "I figured you'd want to keep this here a secret as well. So you can keep mine and I can keep yours."
Akari returned the smile. "You don't seem to be the best secret keeper, but I guess I'll have no choice. I won't tell anyone Tobirama Senju ate magic mushrooms."
"And I won't tell anyone you dove right into that river." He offered her his hand. "Come on, tomorrow your clothes will be dry again and we can pretend none of this ever happened."
She let him help her up. Her eyes fell on his chest as he pulled her up towards him. "So tomorrow we will be back in Konoha?" she asked as he heaped her onto his back.
"Most likely. If you don't decide to fall into another river."
She didn't answer. Her mind was too occupied with his hands on her thighs. It was a good thing he couldn't see her face. She was sure it had to scream embarrassment right at anyone who did as much as glance at her. She closed her eyes, hoping that could somehow take her thoughts off Tobirama and all the naked skin. But it only made her more aware of how loud and fast her heart was beating.
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The cabin was an old woodcutter's hut. It wasn't too shabby yet clearly had stood empty for a while. Windows and doors were closed, but not locked.
The floor and furniture were dusty and dirty. But the roof was intact, so were the windows. And in front of them was a small fireplace with a chimney.
On the floor, they found skeleton. Someone had died inside the cabin, likely the former resident.
Akari stopped in the doorframe to stare at the human remains. The bones were still lying in the same position the person had died in. There was no smell, no flesh. Just bones and old fabric.
Tobirama did not seem to mind at all and stepped over it to throw wood into the fireplace. There was still a pile of logs conveniently placed next to it. He lit it.
"You think they died here all alone?" Akari asked. Part of this felt wrong to her though she knew there were hardly any alternatives.
Tobirama only shorty glanced at the bones and went on to search the cabin. "He," he said. When Akari didn't understand, he added, "He was a man."
"How can you tell?"
He looked at her almost as though he judged her for the question, like the answer was obvious. "From the bones," he answered shortly.
She kept standing next to the remains, still staring down at them as Tobirama opened cabinets and closets.
"You think we should bury him?"
He glanced down at the man again. Contrary to her expectation, he said, "Yes, we should."
Akari hung her clothes close to the fire to dry as she watched Tobirama sweep up the skeleton and dump it in a bucket. It was not the kind of burial ceremony she had expected, but Tobirama refused to touch the bones, and that Akari could understand.
She watched as he dug a grave outside, right next to a little garden behind the cabin. There were still plants and vegetables growing in there. The patch was overgrown with all sorts of plants that did not belong there, but Akari could spot a few carrots and raddish in between.
She liked looking at the garden. At least that gave her a reason to not look at Tobirama. The bare chest irritated her.
Riku would sometimes take his shirt off after training, something she always scolded him for. But that was different. With Riku, it was annoying, because it wasn't proper. Yet she had never felt embarrassed looking at her teammate.
Akari was embarrassed now. She could see every single muscle of Tobirama's shoulder move each time he drew the shovel into the ground. She had to remind herself to look at the little garden instead of him.
They put the bones in the grave and covered them with an old towel they found in the hut.
"What do you think happened to his family? I saw pictures of a woman inside," she asked, hoping a conversation could help take her mind off Tobirama's shoulders.
"Does it matter?"
"But it's sad, isn't it? His bones were just lying there. No one came for him. I wonder if anyone even knows he died."
Tobirama closed the grave and tramped down the soil.
"But you buried him anyway," she noted. "I doubt this meant anything to you, yet you still lay his remains to rest. I'm sure he would appreciate that you gave him this last honor."
Tobirama rose a brow at her and put the shower back where he'd found it. "Do you know why we either bury or burn our dead?"
She followed him inside again, using the broom to support her instead of Tobirama's arm.
She could tell that lying the dead to their final rest was not the answer he was looking for. Tobirama clearly was not a spiritual person.
So she said, "To offer those that stay behind an opportunity to say goodbye?"
The fire was burning brightly inside, and the air in the cabin was already warmer than it was outside. Tobirama took the broom from her once she made it inside and swept over the spot where the man had died.
"There are many ways to say goodbye. Burning and burying your loved ones hardly seems friendly. So there used to be clans who kept their dead ones around instead. They cleaned them each day, sat them down at the dinner table, tucked them into their beds in the evening again. It was their ritual to allow the dead to slowly pass to the other side, and for those who stayed behind to say goodbye."
Akari awkwardly stood in the middle of the room and watched him. She didn't want to sit down on the bed or chairs. It was all too dirty and did not belong to her.
"Eventually the whole clan died out in less than a month. They just kept dying, one after the other. No one ever found out why. But it's likely that whatever had killed the dead went on to kill the living as well." He stopped sweeping for a moment to look at her. "That's why we bury the dead. Not because of sentimentality and respect."
Akari rolled her eyes. "Now that does sound more like you."
"We should change the linen and maybe sweep the whole place a bit before we spent the night here." He opened the windows to let fresh air in.
Akari was not convinced. "Don't tell me you plan on sleeping in that bed?"
"I don't. You will."
"Me? No way. I'm not sleeping in a dead man's bed. You said so yourself, we have no idea what he died of."
He opened a closet and pointed at fresh linen. "Better than sleeping on the floor, isn't it."
"I'd rather sleep on the floor. Listen, you don't need to give me the bed because I'm a woman and the Hyuuga heiress or anything like that. If you don't mind sleeping in there, you are free to sleep in there. I'll gladly take the floor."
"You are a woman and the Hyuuga heiress though. Pretty sure your father wouldn't appreciate hearing I took the bed and let you sleep on the floor."
"Well, I won't tell him. So feel free to treat me like a random clanless man tonight."
One corner of his mouth twitch into a short smile. "So you'd rather sleep on the floor? Right next to where this man died?"
"No, I'll sleep right in front of the fireplace where it's warm and cozy," she protested and grabbed the broom from him again. "Why don't you go out and finally catch those fish? We only ended up here because you said you were so hungry."
"Can I leave you alone then or will I come back to find the cabin burned down?"
She turned away from him and purposefully started sweeping dust and dirt into his direction.
He snorted and left.
Akari went on to clean the floor, then put a fresh cover and blanket on the bed and threw the old ones out. It looked almost comfortable all of a sudden. But she attributed that to her still being cold now that the windows were open. It made the bed look so much more welcoming.
Her hair was all wet still, and she decided to unpin it and wear it down so it would dry faster. It was a mess of long brown waves. The poor state of her hair reminded her of her current life. For a moment she felt like taking a blade and simply cutting it all off, then decided that was something she would regret the next day. So she went back to cleaning the place instead.
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Tobirama returned with four fish, already disemboweled and skewered, and whatever technique he had used to catch them, it had been much quicker than Hashirama and his fishing rod.
They sat in front of the fire together and held their fish towards the flame. The floor they sat on was covered with fresh linen and the room was bathed in a soft orange light, which did a good job at hiding all the remaining dust and dirt around them.
Akari had to admit it felt sort of cozy. The world outside was slowly turning black and it was like the world inside the cabin was cut off from the rest. In there, it was only the two of them and the chimney fire.
"So you said we'll be back in Konoha tomorrow?" she asked again. The silence between them no longer felt uncomfortable like it had on their first night together. Contrary, she found herself enjoying sitting next to him. It felt reassuring, and familiar. And she wanted to spend this remaining time talking to him, getting to know him better.
"Most likely, yes," he answered. His eyes never left his fish.
Akari wondered what kind of topics would interest Tobirama Senju, what would engage him in a conversation with her. At the same time, she felt their talk shouldn't be too personal.
"Your Hiraishin…" It was the one bulletproof topic she could think of. Every shinobi loved to be praised on their jutsu. "It sure is impressive. Hashirama-sensei always says you are the smartest person he knows."
He glanced at her, then took a bite of his fish. "Thanks," he shortly murmured in between chewing.
Akari decided to eat as well. She couldn't decide whether she thought Tobirama was a nice person or utterly impolite. Somehow it was both at the same time.
"How do you do that? Come up with all those jutsu, I mean."
"A lot of trial and error." He didn't expand on it much further.
Akari nodded. He made it sound easier than it was. "You know, ninjutsu is actually the one thing I admire Riku for. No one ever taught him anything about chakra and its usage. Yet he managed to come up with wind jutsu all on his own. Simply from intuition. I could never do that. He didn't even know what chakra was."
He pulled some fish bones out of his mouth and threw them into the fire. Still occupied with his fish to look for more bone, he said, "You know fire and water release enough to combine them. At least that's what my brother told me. You can be proud of that. Most shinobi never reach that level of proficiency."
"I can. But I'm not creative enough to figure out what to do with it. Last time I experimented with boiling water and hot steam, I accidentally scalded my own hand and father forbid me to try again."
He snorted. "Fathers forbid a lot. Konoha wouldn't exist today if my brother had listened to everything our father once said."
Akari wondered whether she would be able to speak like that in the future. Because there was a lot she wanted to do in life that her father forbid. A lot that was similar to Hashirama making peace with the Uchiha. And a lot surely sprouted in the fact that Hashirama had been her teacher, and had planted all sorts of beliefs in her on how the world should and should not be.
For a moment, she thought about sharing with Tobirama that, one day, she meant to change the Hyuuga clan. Abolish the Sun Seal. And unite branch and main family.
Instead she said, "My father is a vivid admirer of water jutsu. The affinity for it runs in my family. He was greatly displeased when I announced that I would study fire release next. Too dangerous in his opinion."
It sparked a conversation about chakra affinity and clan jutsu between them, one which mainly consisted of Akari asking questions and Tobirama answering them more or less willingly.
By the time they finished eating, the world outside was pitch black. Inside the cabin, the fire still burned, and seemed to be glowing brighter than ever. Akari used the time to comb through her hair with her hands.
"At my age, what kind of jutsu were you able to use? Which nature transformations?" Tobirama didn't quite understand the question, so she added, "What? Is it wrong to compare myself to you? I want to know, to see how I am doing so far."
"At your age… I knew the Hiraishin, water release, wind release and fire release. All to varying degrees. I could use a bit of ice release as well. And I had just started working on the Shadow Clones."
"You've known the Hiraishin for that long. I didn't know that."
He slowly nodded. "The first time I used it in battle… was the last battle between Senju and Uchiha before Konoha was founded."
Tobirama's eyes dropped to the floor and he shifted his weight from one leg to the other before deciding to get up and throw another log into the fire.
Akari wondered how she would go about inventing a jutsu such as the Hiraishin. She had no idea.
He stood between her and the fire, looked down at her. "Should we go to sleep yet?
Akari glanced outside. It was dark, yet hardly late into the night. "I was thinking we could talk some more," she admitted. "But I can also take the first shift if you'd rather sleep now. I'm not tired yet."
He sat down next to her again. "No, it's fine. I'm not really tired yet either."
Akari felt relieved, happy almost, that Tobirama was not completely opposed to talking to her. After all, she had just given him a way out, one he chose to not take.
"The Hiraishin seems like something you would develop later in your life. You know, pooling all the wisdom you acquired so far into this one jutsu. I can't believe you were younger than I am now."
"I don't think I would have ever developed a jutsu like the Hiraishin later in my life. Not if I was living in Konoha. The Hiraishin, it's dangerous. It's why I have taught it to none of my students."
She waited for him to continue, though she could tell this jutsu was not one of his favorite topics after all. Despite it being the most brilliant one Akari had ever seen.
"It took me years to reach a point where I could use it myself. Before that, I tested it on animals for a long time. Well, I guess you can imagine for yourself what happens if you make a mistake and only part of the body gets teleported. Some of them just vanished, and I never found them again."
He took the stick and started poking around the coils of the fire.
"I never thought of that," Akari admitted. "Why invent it at all then?"
"It's not exactly a jutsu you come up with during fairly peaceful times just for the sake of it. Back then, the risk of accidentally getting lost in another space or cutting myself in half seemed not too bad to take in order to develop a jutsu that could potentially end the eternal feud between Senju and Uchiha."
"I guess, bad times like those can drive people to brilliance," she quietly said in an attempt to show a positive attitude.
He didn't speak it out loud, but Akari knew well enough that Tobirama had used it kill Izuna Uchiha. The father of her best friend. It wasn't something a lot of people in Konoha knew, not even some of the clan heads. Hashirama and Madara had agreed that was a detail that was better left unsaid. No one ever lied about it. Everyone simply kept quiet about it.
Everyone except Inori, who had told her best friend all she knew. Most of that information had come from her uncle, and while Inori hardly held a grudge against the Senju, Madara sure did.
Akari studied the profile of Tobirama's face. She had never cared much for him. But now she was interested in his side of the story.
So she asked, "Do you regret killing Izuna?"
He immediately turned to her, his eyes were full of surprise at her question. And maybe, Akari realized, this topic was too personal after all, and they were not close enough to talk about something as grave.
But Tobirama did not avert his eyes from her, and his voice was strong and honest when he said, "No, I don't." He let his answer sink in for a moment, knowing it likely was not what she had expected him to say, before he added, "That day, it was either him or me. And Izuna was not the type of shinobi to hold back just in case their opponent would do the same. And neither am I. In that regard, we differed from our brothers. So no, I don't regret what I did."
Akari's eyes dropped as she listened to him. They fell on his shoulders and chest again, and it was only then that she spotted all the scars on his skin.
The biggest one she touched with just the tip of her finger, wondering what story that one held. If maybe even, it was a reminder of the fight with Izuna. She traced scar all the way down from his shoulder to his heart.
The flames of the fire flickered in front of them, and the crackling of wood brought sudden sense back to Akari.
She hastily pulled her hand back. "I'm so sorry! That was utterly inappropriate of me. I shouldn't have just…" She turned away. Her cheeks were burning. Her mind screaming at itself to explain that behavior.
Silence returned and Akari couldn't bring herself to look at him. She wanted to sink into the bed and vanish in there. But that would make the whole situation only more strange, she figured.
So instead, she made herself look at him after all and stumbled an explanation. "I just noticed you have quite a few scars. And wondered whether you got them in your fights with the Uchiha."
"Most of them, yes," he answered, and Akari was glad to find he still spoke calm and collected. It was like he was a stone, and nothing she did could change the look on his face.
It eased her mind to know he wasn't offended, or angry, or agitated in the slightest. But at the same time, a feeling sparked in her that maybe, this was not the reaction she wanted after all.
"I'm sorry to hear that," she said, just to say anything at all.
"You don't need to apologize. Not like you had anything to do with it."
And there it was again, the silence that pressed itself between the two. Akari silently cursed herself for having brought it back. She had enjoyed the talk they had before. It had been free and easy. But this was the uncomfortable silence again. At least, that was how it felt to her. Tobirama's feelings she couldn't read.
They both stared into the flames of the fire. There were all sorts of colors. Red, orange and yellow. And the flames danced together like they itself were free of worries and obligations.
She wondered what Inori would say if she told her that Tobirama was actually quite a nice person, wondered whether Inori truly did not blame him for the death of her father.
"Your mother," Akari asked, knowing this might again be too personal. But she wanted to know. "Was she killed in the conflict between Senju and Uchiha?"
"She did," he admitted. "Just like my father and brothers. Hashirama and I are the only ones from my closer family who…"
Something moved through the air in the corner of Akari's eye, drawing all her attention away from the conversation. It was a black little something on its way towards the fire. Akari caught it with quick movements. Her hands formed a protective sphere around the fluttering wings.
"What are you doing?" Tobirama asked.
"I'm sorry. It went straight for the fire," she explained. "I think it's a moth. I didn't want it to burn."
She peeked inside and wondered what to do with it. If she let go of it again, it would surely continue its journey into the flames. So she walked over to the window and skillfully opened it with her elbow.
Tobirama barely showed interest in the moth rescue mission, only shortly glanced at her as she gave the insect its freedom back and quickly pulled the window shut.
"It's so big," he heard her gasp in awe. "And so beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen a moth like this. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you." She was about to return to the fire and their conversation, but couldn't quite take her eyes off the moth yet.
It was the admiration in her voice that somehow caught his interest. He got up, and walked over to her to see for himself how this small insect could inspire such fascination.
Its bright green and blue colors were barely visible against the darkness of the night. The moth looked like it was glued to the window, still hoping to somehow reach the light inside. Its wings were spread and elegantly curved.
Akari's eyes were still fixed on the it.
"It's a Luna Moth," Tobirama explained.
Akari turned to him, amazed. "You actually know the exact species?" She suddenly faltered, and, noticing that his face was right next to hers, she turned away again. He was leaning next to the window with one arm to look over her shoulder at the insect. He was close. Close enough she could almost bump into him just by turning around.
He shrugged. "I read a book on moth species. Some of them are poisonous, so it's useful knowledge."
Tobirama went on to state characteristics of the Luna Moth and how to effectively make poisons out of moth powder in general. But the words barely reached Akari's ears.
She thought she could feel his breath on her cheek as he looked past her. His eyes were on the moth, not on her, as he kept rambling. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that their bodies almost touched, or he simply did not care. And Akari remembered his words from earlier, when he left her at the fire in the woods.
She turned around to him, despite him being awfully close, and leaned against the wall behind them, looking up at him. With each second that passed, her mouth turned more and more into a tight frown. Until finally, he looked down at her and realized that she was staring at him.
He straightened himself and took a step back, interpreting the displeased look on her face as a sign that she wanted him to back off.
"Anyway, the Luna Moth is not poisonous. I guess you are lucky. Your hands could be an itching mess right now." He turned around to go back to the fire.
She impulsively grabbed his hand to stop him.
He glanced back at her, asked her what was wrong.
She hardly knew. She just wanted him to not turn away from her, to see her. His hand was warm. Yet she let go again as her mind was missing a reason to hold onto him.
Her eyes wandered from his hand over his bare chest up to his lips and eyes. He was still looking at her, but there was something missing. Her hands knotted in his pullover. The white fur was still wrapped around her neck and his scent engulfed her. It felt all too familiar at this point.
She wanted there to be more in his eyes.
He turned away when she didn't answer. Akari hurried after him, bumped into him half on purpose. Her forehead rested against his back until he turned around to her once more. His brows formed a confused frown.
He looked down at her waiting for an explanation.
Her mind raced to find one. She searched for an excuse. An apology was already on the tip of her tongue. Her lips parted to undo whatever she had just started.
But instead of speaking, her hands softly wrapped around his cheeks, and she reached up to press her lips onto his.
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A/N:
Sooo… did the kiss come as a surprise to you guys? :)
Next chapter will focus more on Tobirama again, and, well… his reaction to what just happened. I hope you guys are excited because I sure am! (Is Tobirama excited though?)