Diary,
Is there anything worse than knowing, being conscious enough to know that you are going insane? I like fire for that reason. I am fire, madness is the embodiment of fire. I can understand it, I can feel it. But not for the reasons that you think.
Fire is one of the most devastating forces on earth. It takes everything from you, and it makes you watch while it does it. You are forced to watch, helplessly. Helplessly screaming.
And what else have I done? What else can I do? I scream. I harnessed the power of earthen magic for the first time today. And I think Cid almost shit himself when he saw me do it. Tearing at the earth. They just dumped me out in the dirt and let me scream for over an hour. Screaming, senseless, ripping up the soil like an animal until I felt... I felt it like a trigger in my mind and split the earth wide open.
You did this to me. In a moment of clarity, I realize that they enjoy torturing me. They drop me into this - this "controlled environment" as they call it. Literally drop me in a field and take notes on my suffering.
They watch... They stand there... Emotionless, vile ... pigs. And yet they have the nerve to ask me, "Kefka, how can you sit and watch?"
Oh, I'm sorry. Don't like seeing a reflection of yourself? Does it make us a wee bit uncomfortable because I have the balls to look you in the eye when I kill someone?
At least I can look at myself in the mirror, admiring my own reflection! I know what I am becoming. And congratulations on making me this way. I hope you sleep well at night, hiding under your blankets like some frightened toddler. And why not? I would be afraid of myself too, if I had spawned such a monster. Because what else will you make? Are you happy with me? Is your creation good enough?
Makes me seriously question the sanity of everyone in the empire...
~ Kefka