Author's Note:

Dear Readers,

A belated Merry Christmas!

I am well aware that an apology will not suffice for my long absence. To help y'all understand, I will give a summary of the past year and a half of my life! It's been fun:

- Fall of 2019: I was really sick most of this semester as well as carrying the most hours that my college will allow me to carry. On top of that, the guy I'd been head over heels in love with for the past year, broke my heart. Broke it badly. I couldn't read, let alone write, fanfiction or anything romantic.

- Spring and Summer of 2020: That guy and I made up (we've been dating since March! For those of you wondering, he apologized and has been a wonderful and very loving boyfriend. Honestly, he is a great guy, just had to figure some stuff out. Now he has, he is extremely loyal and dedicated. I couldn't be happier!). With that cleared up, I thought I could start writing again, but COVID and the shenanigans around that really messed me up mentally. I didn't write at all during that summer.

- Fall of 2020: The worst semester I have had at school yet. Two extremely hard classes with a lot of homework on top of, again, carrying the most hours my college will allow. I barely had time to breathe, let alone write. I got through. My 4.0 is still intact (somehow)!

As you can see, it's been something of an adventure for me. That being said, I'm back. Next semester is looking to be easier, fewer hours and some easier professors.

And, I want to finish this book. I love writing for y'all, and I love this book! So, here's to getting this book finished on a glorious note!

This chapter is short, but I wanted to get something to y'all, and I think there's enough emotional chaos to make it worthwhile! Considering this a bit of a Christmas present to all of y'all who stuck with me for so long. It means a lot.

sarahandmarquis

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own characters and the plot (well, not exactly that anymore either considering I'm using someone else's idea…)

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Reviews:

ArtemisBare: Your review made me laugh really hard! What you must think of me now! But, hey, so not quite so cruel of a cliffhanger? Maybe? Please don't be mad at me lol

peanutpup: Thank you for the review! I always like to hear if the chapter is enjoyed.

E.M.K.81: It was a good idea! But, I believe in giving credit where credit is due!

AnotherSilentObserver: After this last semester, I really know what sleep-deprived feels like. Two exams in one day on about two hours of sleep and half a can of monster - gotta love it!

Luna cat: I never forgot about y'all! Not once. Just, wasn't able to write.

LoreLorelei: Here is that update! About a year later...sorry!

chrissymama: Here you go! I appreciate your sticking with me! I really do. It's really nice to know I have such wonderful readers.

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Word Count: 816

"Was" Count: 3

"Were" Count: 2

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CHAPTER 21

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Erik woke first.

The sun's rays sliced through the curtains, their golden light illuminating the mass of golden curls laying next to him. Her hair glowed. He had no other word for the brilliance and the beautiful. She had trapped his hand under that mass of curls, her cheek effectively pinning it to the bed. Why she chose his hand as her pillow baffled him. He almost reached with his free hand to touch the sun which had taken up residence in her hair, but he refrained.

I have no right to touch her. Not after all I've done.

Erik laid in bed, torn between sliding his hand away from her and leaving it there. He didn't even risk considering why she slept peacefully next to him. He would ask when she woke. Until then, he'd steal warmth from her and relish in her presence.

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Christine slowly came to and blinked to clear the sleep from her eyes. Her back and neck ached something awful. In her delirium last night, sleeping crumpled beside Erik had seemed like a wonderful idea. Now, she regretted it solely based on her physical discomfort. Aware there was very little to be done for her complaining joints, she glanced up at Erik.

His golden eyes peered emotionlessly at her, his face unreadable behind the mask.

"Good morning," she whispered, turning her attention to the hand she'd held captive while she slept. He didn't want me in his room last night. But, I came back. I came back to somewhere I wasn't even wanted. He hates me.

"I'm sorry." Her voice cracked. "I'll leave. I'm sorry I'm here."

She rose to leave, her hurting knees and sleepy feet going unnoticed as she took a shaky step towards the door.

"Wait!" She paused at the urgency and emotion in his voice. If I didn't know better, he sounds like he's hurting. When she turned to look at him, she saw his golden eyes were bright with unshed tears. He had reached out a hand to stop her.

"Wait," he whispered once more before dropping his hand and hanging his head.

"Yes?"

His eyes blinked out for a second as he closed them in momentary thought.

"Before you go, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For everything that I've said, everything I've done, everything I've put you through. I don't expect you to forgive me now but, one day, perhaps? I hope I don't ask for too much."

Christine couldn't say anything. Matching tears welled up in her eyes and choked her voice.

"You've been a wonderful friend. You've been truly wonderful to me. I know I've repaid you with pain and horror. And, I am so, so sorry." He waited to hear the door open and close, to hear her shoes clicking away from him for the last time, but he only heard soft sobbing.

"Christine?" He lifted his eyes to her. She held her face in her hands, sobbing into her graceful white fingers. The desire to comfort her surged so strong he couldn't resist. Stumbling from bed, he walked over to her and reached out to touch her. He stopped at the last second, realizing what he was doing.

You fool! She's crying because of you! She won't want to be comforted by you. Can't you just understand you're not wanted here.

He retracted his hand and hung his head.

Christine sobbed his name and flung herself into his arms. Her slender arms wrapped around his neck, her tears soaking into his collar, her lithe form pressing tightly against his skeletal one.

His mind stopped processing.

Automatically, he wrapped his arms around her. He didn't have a reason, just the natural instinct.

Overcome by the feel of her in his arms, he found himself saying,

"Please stay. Please stay. I'll do anything you ask." He didn't even know what he asked of her. It made no sense even to his ears. Only, he felt as if he were losing her. If she walked out that door, he'd never see her again. I deserve it. I deserve to feel that loss. But, I don't want to. "I love you."

He said it against his better judgement.

He said it even though she would likely recoil from him in horror.

He said it even as he expected her to walk away, taking his heart and what was left of his will to live with her.

Unbelievably, she just held him tighter. She lifted her beautiful head from his shoulder for just long enough to whisper,

"I love you too."

In that moment, nothing else really mattered. Not his face, not his past, not her tears, not her leaving. Nothing. Nothing mattered. It would soon. They would have to talk about so much, but he just wanted to stand there, hold her, and replay her words over and over in his mind.