The next chapter, I hope you like it! And please let me know what you think! That would be awesome. I think there will be a few more chapters, but we're getting closer to the end of this story.
I don't own the characters or places!
Days passed without any sign from Blaine. He didn't show up at school anymore and every time Kurt tried to call him, Blaine didn't answer. Kurt even tried to go to his flat to talk to him, but if Blaine had been there, he'd ignored the sound of the doorbell.
Kurt was frustrated. And hurt. After everything they've been through together, Blaine couldn't just ignore him like this. Couldn't he see that Kurt just wanted to be there for him now?
Blaine had told him so much about his past that Kurt knew how difficult this must be for him. He'd changed the school several times because of bullying and now, in his last year when everything seemed to get better, it happened again. Just because of Kurt.
Or did Blaine refuse to talk to him because he blamed Kurt for what happened? After all, he wouldn't be one of Karofsky's targets if it wasn't for Kurt. He'd saved him and caught their attention. However, Kurt still remembered something Blaine had told him on that evening. It's not your fault. This would have happened sooner or later.
So what was going on then? If he really didn't blame Kurt? Was he so scared of Karofsky and his friends that he didn't dare go to school anymore? But Blaine didn't seem like someone who'd be scared this easily...
Kurt was confused. He just couldn't find a solution to this riddle. And the idea that Blaine might leave again made him sick. Because that's what Kurt feared the most. That he would just disappear and he'd never be able to see him again. In their time together, no matter how short it might have been, Blaine had become one of the most important persons in his life. One of his best friends and also so much more. Because Kurt had fallen for him. Hard. Now that Blaine was gone he saw it very clearly.
Blaine couldn't just leave. It would break his heart. If it wasn't already broken after what happened.
Don't you get it, Kurt? I don't want to go with you. You should leave me alone.
Deep inside, he still hoped that Blaine didn't mean that. His defensive walls had come back and in stressful situations, people often said things they didn't mean. Nevertheless, a small voice in Kurt's head told him that it was true. Blaine doesn't want him. He never did. And that's why he would just leave now.
He was feeling miserable. He couldn't sleep anymore and if he did, nightmares were haunting him. Kurt also didn't eat anymore. If someone asked, he just said that he was feeling sick. And at school, he always kept looking around, hoping to see Blaine leaning on his locker or standing in the shadows of the auditorium. However, he never showed up. It was like he'd never been there at all. Except for Kurt, no one seemed to notice his absence. Let alone miss him.
Of course others noticed his sudden change of mood. After all, he'd been extremely happy in the past weeks. However, he refused to answer questions about this. Kurt knew what Finn was thinking. He could see it from the dark look on his brother's face. Finn thought that Blaine had hurt him somehow. Or maybe Karofsky and his friends. The other glee club members seemed to have similar thoughts.
Except for Rachel. She knew exactly what was going on, though she couldn't figure out the reason why Blaine was gone now. She tried to ask Kurt several times, but he refused to talk about it. Blaine had asked him not to tell anyone about his past and Kurt had made a promise. And he was going to keep it, no matter what happened.
Next to all his personal problems, the current situation of the New Directions didn't make Kurt's life any easier. Christmas was getting closer and right after that, Regionals would take place. And Santana and Quinn still refused to talk to the members of the New Directions, except for Brittany. They had tried to convince them to come back, but they wouldn't listen. So they were missing two singers now and had to make a plan for the next competition. Because they had to win Regionals. This year, the glee club just had to go to Nationals and they would win. It was their last chance.
That's why Mr. Schue kept them all really busy. More duets, group numbers and small special activities every week. Most others were excited, but for Kurt, who was already under lots of stress and far too tired, it was really exhausting. One week, they were doing Michael Jackson, the next one Saturday Night Fever and they would even be doing Whitney Houston. If he wouldn't have been so sad, he'd be thrilled.
And of course there were the far too long discussions about their songs for Regionals. Rachel would get a solo, that was obvious. But they just couldn't decide which other songs they were going to sing. Maybe two group numbers, but it wasn't easy to decide which ones. To Kurt's surprise, Finn and a few other guys insisted on doing another Michael Jackson song.
In the afternoons, Kurt and Rachel also started to plan their future now. They wrote their applications for NYADA and sent them to New York, hoping that they'd get the chance for an audition. Sometimes, Finn joined them and they also discussed his plans. However, it looked like he didn't really have one yet. He thought of joining the army, but Rachel freaked out every time he mentioned this. She insisted that it was far too dangerous. Secretly, Kurt agreed with her. And he knew that Burt and Carol did as well. They tried to find something else for Finn, but it wasn't that easy. Unlike them, he didn't want to be a singer.
One evening, about two weeks after the incident with Karofsky where he'd seen Blaine for the last time, Kurt visited Rachel. He'd been invited for dinner with her and her dads. After that, they went to her room.
"Kurt, you can't go on like this." Rachel declared and crossed her arms.
He raised his eyebrows at her. "What do you mean?"
"Oh come on, I'm your best friend! Don't you think that I see when you're feeling bad? You're miserable, Kurt. You have dark rings under your eyes, wear boring clothes and you barely eat!"
Kurt sighed in defeat. "I'm fine, Rachel." He tried weakly, knowing that it wouldn't work.
"You're not, don't lie to me. This is about Blaine, right? Ever since he's gone, you're like this." She took his hands and squeezed them. "You really liked him, didn't you?"
"You already knew that." Kurt muttered.
"I didn't realize that it was this bad." She admitted. "I really hate him for breaking your heart."
"He didn't."
"Yes, he did. And now tell me what happened. Everything seemed perfectly fine and one day, he just vanished." The look on her face told him that he couldn't just avoid this conversation.
"Karofsky happened." He said simply. "That's it."
She looked sceptical. "You want to tell me that Blaine left because of Karofsky? To me, he didn't seem like the type of guy who could be scared that easily. Rather like someone who would be Dave's best friend." He held up her hand when Kurt opened his mouth. "I know, I've talked to him and Blaine isn't that bad. But come on, Karofsky should have scared him away?"
Kurt breathed in deeply. "What I'm going to tell you know is top secret, do you understand?"
She nodded immediately and Kurt knew that Rachel wouldn't tell anyone else. So he told her about Blaine's difficulties at other schools and why he was always wearing his mask around others. However, he left out the part that Blaine loved music and singing. That was too personal and not of importance right now.
While he was talking, her eyes grew wide. Especially when he came to the part where Blaine had defended him from Karofsky and his friends. And of course the last afternoon. The day Blaine left.
"Oh Kurt, I'm so sorry!" She whispered and hugged him tightly. "Seems like we've all been wrong about him. It's incredible that you could break through his walls so easily. He really liked you, you know? You might not have noticed it, but I could see it from the way he looked at you when you didn't pay attention."
And that's what did it. The first time since Blaine left two weeks ago, the numb feeling in Kurt's chest vanished and was replaced by pain. An unendurable pain. He began to cry. He couldn't tell how long they just sat there like this, Rachel holding him while he was crying. When they finally let go again, Rachel was looking at him sadly. "I'm so sorry, Kurt." She whispered again. And then she did everything to distract Kurt from his dark thoughts.
"Why would you even think that we want to join the glee club again?" Santana asked and crossed her arms. "Maybe we don't want to be part of the losers anymore."
"I know that you're lying." Finn said simply.
"Come on, just admit it. You miss us." Puck added and raised his eyebrows. "And don't say we're wrong."
Quinn sighed. "Can't we have this conversation somewhere else? Not here in the hallway?"
"So you can just run away again?" Kurt threw in.
A few days had passed since his conversation with Rachel. Right now, Kurt was standing in the hallway together with Finn, Puck, Rachel, Mercedes and Artie. They were confronting Santana and Quinn about their decision to leave the New Directions. Actually, that hadn't been the plan. They wanted to have lunch together. However, Finn couldn't stop himself from talking to them once they walked past the small group.
"We're not running away." Santana said. "We just don't want to talk to you."
"You're doing that just now." Artie noted.
"Look, let's just talk this through like grown-up people." Rachel threw in casually.
"And that comes from you." Quinn muttered and smiled slightly.
Finn sighed loudly. "We're not here to argue. We really just want to talk."
"Not here." Quinn repeated.
"Yes, right now and right here." Puck interrupted her.
"We need to figure this out." Mercedes added. "The team has to be complete for Regionals."
"I think you'll be fine without us." Santana shrugged. "I don't want to stand in your shadow anymore." While saying those words, she looked at Rachel.
Now they really began to argue, but Kurt held himself back. He was far too tired for a fight. And honestly, he'd been against confronting Santana and Quinn anyway. So he leaned against the wall and listened to the conversation silently. While doing that, he looked around. He'd given up on the hope to see Blaine days ago.
And suddenly, a movement at the end of the hallway caught his attention. The door of principal Figgins' office opened. And when Kurt recognized the person who just left the room, his heart began to race. It was Blaine.
When he left the room, he looked around carefully. When Kurt realized that he didn't want to be seen, the pain in his chest he'd tried to ignore returned with full force. Blaine was already walking towards the entrance doors when Kurt began to move. He didn't run, not wanting to attract too much attention. However, he was walking fast and so far, Blaine hadn't noticed him.
"Blaine!" Kurt called once he was close enough to reach him and to his surprise, Blaine really stopped and turned around. Honestly, he'd expected him to run away.
Blaine's eyes were wide when he recognized Kurt and there were a few things he noticed in this moment. Blaine was looking tired, with dark rings under his eyes. His hair was a mess, even more than usual. And he was really pale.
"I need to talk to you." Kurt said and before Blaine could open his mouth to reply, Kurt had grabbed his hand and pulled him into the next room. The auditorium, of all things. Luckily, no one was there.
"Kurt, let me go!" Blaine muttered darkly and already wanted to turn around and leave, but Kurt blocked his way.
"Only when you tell me why you've been ignoring me." He crossed his arms. "I assume you just told Figgins that you want to leave McKinley?" Kurt was surprised at how cold his voice sounded. And hurt.
Blaine looked annoyed, but there was something else in his eyes. Kurt had seen him look vulnerable before so it wasn't difficult to interpret that look. "It's none of your business." Blaine said simply.
"I thought we were friends." Kurt stated.
Blaine laughed dryly. "You thought that. Ever considered that I might not see it like this?"
Kurt ignored the pain in his heart and the tears that were about to fall. "Why are you pushing me away? What scared you so much?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Blaine muttered darkly. "And now let me go. I don't want to stay here any longer than necessary."
"Are you trying to save yourself from the pain? Because I'm sure it won't be easy for you just to leave. You're afraid, I get it. But Blaine, you've got friends here. You're not alone." He said slowly, ignoring Blaine's comments.
"You don't know anything about me." Blaine argued.
"I know enough." Kurt threw in. "Everything that matters. You've been hurt too many times in your past. You said so yourself. And that's why you run away from your problems. Like Karofsky. You can't stand being a victim again. However, you can't let it define your life. Was your time here really that bad?"
"I told you to drop it." Blaine's voice was cold now.
"So it wasn't." Kurt concluded. "Please, don't separate yourself from me, Blaine. We can figure this out together."
"I don't want your help." Blaine tried to walk past Kurt, but he just leaned against the door. Slowly, the annoyed look on Blaine's face turned into something else. Frustration. Because Kurt refused to let him go or something else?
Kurt decided to try something else. "I enjoyed our time together. Honestly, those were the best months in my life. After being alone for so long, I finally found someone who understood me. Who could make me laugh and forget everything bad in my life. You know that it's also not easy for me. But I decided against running away a long time ago. I've never been happier than with you, Blaine. And I just know that you enjoyed our time together as well. I could see it every time I looked at you. Don't throw at away. If you leave now, you'll let them win. Do you really want that? Giving them the satisfaction that they were able to scare you away?"
Very slowly, the expression on Blaine's face changed. It broke Kurt's heart when he saw how sad his friend was. "I can't do this, Kurt. I would like nothing more than to show them that they can't touch me. I admire you for this. You're so strong. But I'm not. I can't go through this again. It nearly broke me back then. And this time, I know that it will."
At those words, Kurt couldn't stand it any longer. He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Blaine. "You're also strong, Blaine. More than you think. Don't let them win."
"I can't." Blaine whispered weakly and it took Kurt a few moments to realize that he was crying.
"You're not alone. We're in this together." Kurt whispered.
"Kurt... It's not that easy."
"Only if you won't let it." He argued softly. "Don't let them get to you like this."
Slowly, Blaine drew back and looked at him curiously. "Why are you doing this?"
Kurt frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You tried to call me dozens of times in the past weeks. You even were at my house. Why are you trying so hard to make me stay?" The confusion on Blaine's face was obvious.
"Honestly?" Kurt's heart was racing and he breathed in deeply. "I care for you. Very much." And then he did something he would have never expected from himself. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders again, pulled him closer and kissed him.
First, Blaine stiffened in his arms and Kurt already feared that he would push him away. However, Blaine relaxed after a few moments and sighed. And then he kissed him back urgently. At some point, Kurt felt himself being pressed against the door again, but he didn't mind. The feeling of Blaine's lips against his made him dizzy, especially when Blaine also wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.
When they finally parted, they were both breathing heavily. "Wow." Blaine muttered and grinned. This small gesture made Kurt's heart beat even faster and he laughed shakily.
"Describes it quite well." He muttered and smiled shyly.
The smile on Blaine's lips was replaced by a frown far too soon. "This won't work, Kurt."
In this moment, it felt like the world has stopped turning around him. Kurt froze. "Why not?" He barely recognized his own voice.
To his surprise, Blaine touched his cheek carefully. "This is not about you." He whispered soothingly. "I would love to be with you."
"What is it then?" Kurt asked. "Please don't say that you'll really let them win."
Blaine sighed. "I'm sorry."
"No." He muttered. "I won't let you do that. Pushing everyone who cares for you away." He took Blaine's hand and pulled him towards the piano. He sat down and was glad when Blaine leaned on the piano and looked at him curiously.
In this moment, Kurt was glad that Blaine had begun to teach him how to play. And that he'd doubled his efforts in the past weeks. Breathing in deeply, he began to play. Maybe his version of the song wasn't the most fitting, but in this moment, he couldn't think of something else.
Don't shut me out
Don't cut me off
Even if it's one in a million
I'm still believing
Every battle can be won
When he sang the chorus, a soft smile spread on Blaine's lips. The song ended and for a few moments, they both looked at each other silently.
Then Blaine shook his head with a smile. "You never cease to amaze me." He muttered and walked around the piano to sit down next to Kurt.
"We can get through this." Kurt whispered and took his hands. "Please, don't just leave. Those past weeks without you were horrible."
Blaine looked at him for a long time. Kurt already feared that he could never convince Blaine to stay when he sighed. "I've missed you too. Like crazy."
And then Blaine kissed him again. This time, it didn't last that long, but it was enough for Kurt. He smiled widely. "I've been waiting for you for so long. I won't let you go."
Blaine smiled slightly. "Then you can be happy that I won't be able to stay away from you. I'm not strong enough for that."
Nevertheless, Kurt still feared that Blaine might regret his decision. "And you're sure?"
Blaine rolled his eyes. "You were the one to say that we'll deal with them together. Not me."
"I don't want you to regret this." Kurt admitted.
"I won't." Blaine replied immediately. "It might not be easy, but together with you, I'm sure that I can do this."
Kurt looked into his eyes and tried to search for any signs of doubt. When he couldn't find any, he relaxed slowly. "You're incredible." He muttered and wrapped his arms around Blaine again.
When he heard Blaine's soft laugh, Kurt felt like he finally came home.
The song Kurt sang to Blaine was 'Out of Touch' by Michael Patrick Kelly.