Chapter Twelve

Rick hadn't been able to sleep all night. He tossed and turned in his bed until he finally gave up and sat on the edge with his head in his hands.

It wasn't just that he couldn't rest but that he didn't want to close his eyes because he'd smell her sweet coconut scent filling his lungs. He could see her smiling at him, all her pretty white teeth showing. He could feel her caressing his face when he leaned in to kiss her. Her pressing her body to his, her back arching… saying his name when he plunged into her warm depths.

'Mmm'

Then it would turn to the debased look on her face when he found her in Blake's office. The way she refused to acknowledge him for the rest of the day. Her stepping back to avoid his touch in her bedroom. Then her uttering those words, "This wasn't real."

'Shit'

He was doing it again. Rick had to fight the part of him that wanted to believe her rebuff true. Michonne wasn't anything he'd ever imagined would come into his life. Let alone have the good fortune of being with physically. She was way out of his league.

If he was honest with himself, it was never just sex. When he thought about it he knew there was something real between him and Michonne. He was drawn to her from the first time they laid eyes on one another. But his fear caused him to hesitate, stopped him from truly confessing his feelings to her. From taking that risk with his heart and being rejected by her. He decided to play it cool instead of seeing if she was willing to take the next step with him.

Now he had to figure out a way to correct his mistake because this wasn't the end of him and Michonne. He wasn't letting her go like this. She just needed some space…time. He would find a way to convince her to give them a real chance. To confide in him what she'd been keeping buried in the recesses of her mind. He was not giving up.

While Rick drove into work he had to focus on something else or the ache in his heart would return. So for now, Philip Blake was his target.

Was it possible Philip Blake just hated Rick this much?

It was feasible, Rick had testified against him in an Internal Affairs Bureau investigation.

Rick was the Lieutenant in charge on this particular day at his department. A call came over the radio disclosing the arrest of Oscar Ward. A young man that had been in and out of trouble as long as Rick could remember for various petit crimes and misdemeanors. When Deputy Leon Basset arrived at the station without Ward Rick pulled him aside.

"Boss."

Rick waited for the fidgety, often inept officer to spit out whatever he had to say. "Go ahead Leon."

"Well, I pulled Oscar over for a broken taillight and everything was going fine until…"

Rick was becoming annoyed with all the hesitation. "And?"

"A Colonel, Blake showed up at the scene with some other cops and they started to search his car without Ward's consent."

"Spit it all out." Rick stated now giving the man his full attention.

"They pulled out this huge bag of drugs from the trunk and said it was Oscar's"

"Oscar has never sold drugs to my knowledge." Rick pondered.

"I know and Oscar was screaming and yelling that it wasn't his. Col. Blake just came over and thanked me for my fine police work and said they'd handle the rest. They took Ward in their unmarked car and drove off."

"What else?" Rick could sense there was more.

"The thing is- I could've sworn that I saw one of the guys, Martinez, planting the drugs." Rick raised his eyebrow. "I didn't know what to do so I came back to tell you."

"You did the right thing Leon. Go write this report up- exactly the way it happened. You understand?"

Leon looked nervous but he nodded then headed in the back to complete his paperwork. Rick went to the radio and raised Col. Blake and asked him to call the precinct. A few minutes later the phone rang and Rick answered.

"King County Sheriff's Department, Lt Grimes speaking. How may I help you?"

"Lt. Grimes, I just want to thank your Deputy for all his hard work in helping us apprehend that criminal. He was about to peddle all those drugs on the streets of our fine city." Col. Blake started to rattle off, not letting Rick get a word in. "Oh and tell Basset, was it? That he doesn't even have to complete any paperwork. We've got it all handled."

"Col. Blake Sir, I appreciate the acknowledgment of my deputy but he will be completing a report of exactly what he witnessed at the arrest."

"Is that right?"

"Yes Sir." There was a long pause and Rick almost thought that he lost the connection.

"Lt. Grimes, I think you owe me a bit more gratitude for assisting you in getting a criminal off the streets since your department was unable to do so after all these years."

"Oscar Ward is no criminal mastermind. So I find it hard to believe that he would have a huge bag of drugs just sitting right in his trunk."

"Exactly! He's not a criminal mastermind, leaving the drugs right there in plain sight is a rookie move. He's just some low level punk trying to take advantage of an already broken system."

"Yeah well, I doubt Ward could be involved in something like that."

"Oh, so you are going to take the word of some degenerate and your bumbling Deputy over a Colonel's?" Blake's tone becoming aggressive.

"Yeah well, insulting the man you just were commending seems beneath you." Rick tried to hide the annoyance in his voice since he was speaking to a higher ranking officer.

"Lt. Grimes- if you align yourself correctly, you can have everything you want."

Rick quickly realized Blake was offering him something shady for his silence.

"Col. Blake, we will be submitting the report regarding the arrest of Oscar Ward."

"You have a good day Lt. Grimes." The line went dead.

Rick knew he had just bitten off more than he could probably chew but he wouldn't lose his integrity or be bought off by corrupt cops.

So a few months later when IAB called he was more than happy to testify, dragging a hesitant Leon along with him. Unfortunately, Basset's anxious testimony was wrought with inconsistencies that Blake's union rep was able to poke holes through. Rick's attestation was dismissed as hearsay, having only heard everything second hand. The smug look on Blake and Martinez's faces as they walked out scot free aggravated Rick and he knew it wouldn't be the end of this.

So Rick knew this, this was something deeper, Blake was hiding something. Rick knew Blake's attempts to get him out of the way wasn't just about vengeance but a distraction. But what was he up to?

Daryl, Shane and Glenn were with him. They'd check out any little bits of gossip they'd heard and investigate. There were always rumors of Blake's involvement in shady dealings but no one could ever get anything to stick.

But after what he'd done to Michonne, Philip Blake would regret crossing paths with Rick Grimes.

Rick had no intention of working the full day at the academy so he snuck in headed to the file office. He had spoken to Shane and arranged a meetup in there.

As he walked to the room, flashes of him and Michonne's last tryst in there popped in his head but he pushed them away. He needed to concentrate on the task at hand.

"You know this son of a bitch was fucking Andrea too?" Shane exclaimed once Rick entered the room and closed the door.

"Yeah?"

"Right after she came all dolled up for RMP training. Can you believe it?"

"Yeah?" Rick questioned even though he really wasn't surprised. "How'd you even find that out?"

"Glenn overheard her bragging to other recruits, right in the damn hallway."

"But you know we can't use that. You were involved with her. I was involved with Michonne." Rick said in a hushed tone.

"Was?" Shane put his hands on his gun belt.

"I meant to say am." Rick looked down.

"Brother, we are gonna fix this. You got ole Shane on the case." He banged his hands on his chest. "When we are through with him he won't know what hit him."

Rick shook his head. "I kept thinking this was about me. But he'd do this to anyone to get what he wants. When I threatened him that day in the office, that was a promise."

Shane shook his head in agreement. "Nabila, one of the other PAA's, can't stand Blake so if she knows anything I can get it from her."

"The right way Shane, no funny business." Rick cautioned his friend.

"Well… you wanted me to stay away from the recruits." Shane joked and Rick chuckled, needing the lightened moment.

"Yeah well, we are working on my shit right now. Yours will have to wait." They both laughed now.

After a moment Shane begrudgingly asked a question that would bring the mood back down. "You talk to her?"

"Naw, not since…" Rick shifted his shoulders. "I'm gonna give her some time."

"Not too much… she called out today." Shane informed him.

Rick just nodded, he hoped she wouldn't throw her career away over Blake's intimidation tactics. She only had one week to go before graduation since he knew she would ace finals.

"Can you cover for me? I need to duck out."

"No problem."

"I'll be back in time for PT tonight."

"I got you brother."

Rick snuck his way back out of the academy without being seen and jumped in his jeep that he had parked down the block.

He didn't want to call Maggie for help but he had no choice. She told him the address of the house she was staging for a showing the following day. He drove over and walked inside to see Maggie was hanging generic artwork on the wall. She turned to face him once she completed her task.

"Rick."

"Hey Maggie, I'm sorry to drag you into all of this but…" he didn't want to push the boundaries of her friendship with him or Michonne.

"Rick, are you okay?" concern written on Maggie's face when she came over to him.

"I'm okay." But his eyes relayed his true emotions. "I'm- gonna be okay."

Rick had to keep fighting that voice in that back of his head telling him that he'd lost this too. That she meant what she said. He was bouncing between having faith and defeat but he wouldn't let up, he couldn't.

"You both will be okay." Maggie affirmed.

Rick took in that little bit of hope but still needed answers. "The whole time Michonne and I were together I could sense something was going on underneath it all. Something she wasn't saying."

Maggie sighed heavily.

"So there is something?"

"Rick, Michonne's been my friend for years and …there's something." He felt almost relieved that he wasn't making it up. He rubbed his eyes.

"It's something Michonne is going to have to tell you herself." Maggie went on and he nodded.

"But I don't really think that's the issue for you. I think you need to decide whether you are going to trust-" Rick cuts her off before she can finish.

"I do trust her."

"No Rick. Yourself." Rick was winded.

"You're a survivor. You've been through so much and you're here. I know that's the hard part, life makes you second guess your choices sometimes, but people follow you and respect you because of your judgment." She paused and smiled.

"I think Michonne was waiting for you." Rick looked up at her and saw her reassurance. He came over and hugged her. "You're both going to make it."

"I'm just trying to figure out what I need to do to get past that last hurdle with her. Flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, I've thought of it all. The worst one was flashcards with messages written on em while I stand outside her front door." Rick said while letting her go and stepping back.

"Oh, don't do that. That sounds terrible." They both laughed.

"Yeah, I'll figure something out." Rick paused before grinning at his friend. "So Glenn, huh? I guess he wasn't too cop-y"

Maggie blushed and giggled. "He isn't. Daddy had us over for dinner and he surprisingly likes Glenn, says my mom, Josephine would've liked him too."

"I'm glad for you two."

"Thanks for bringing him to the party."

"No problem. And Maggie… thank you too."

"Of course! Well I've got work to do." Maggie turned Rick around and pushed him towards the door.

"Alright, alright." Rick exited the house feeling hopeful.

As Rick drove back to work he thought of his conversation with Maggie as well as with Shane.

After the truth of his ex-wife's infidelity was unveiled, he questioned his intuition. How could he be a member of the police department and not be able to see what was right there in his face for two years?

He went to Carl's doctors' appointments with Lori when he wasn't working. Dr. Carson was a respected member of the community so any smiles, laughs or small touches were chalked up to him being a kind physician who had taken care of their son since birth.

It's true that he and Lori's relationship had long soured but Rick should have noticed something. His fluctuating tours gave her the opportunity to sneak around freely, Rick assumed. He had never actually inquired as to the particulars of the affair, not needing all the gory details.

But he knew the avoidance of their issues caused him a blind spot that granted Lori the opportunity to stray unnoticed. Rick decided then that he would do things very different once he got a second chance with Michonne. All his cards would be on the table.