[we were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger then the dinks in the bar. 'I rent a place on Cornelia Street' I say casually in the car. We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go. As if the street lights pointed in an arrow head, leading us home.]

Addison groaned as her alarm went off. She was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. It had been a long week at work and pregnancy was already hitting her hard. It had been a little over a week since she made the realization that she was pregnant and had barely been able to keep anything down since. She felt sick constantly, her hormones were out of control, and she swore the level of tired that she was feeling was never going to go away. She could tell this was going to be a long pregnancy.

"Addie? You feeling okay?" Mark asked as he leaned up in bed, stroking the hair away from her face.

"I think the chaos of this week is just catching up with me..."

She lied. She felt guilty for lying to him. She could tell he was suspicious of her, and she couldn't blame him. Mark had caught her getting sick a couple mornings ago and he noticed the mood swings and lack of appetite. She told him it was just stress but she knew that lie wasn't going to be able to last long. Mark deserved to know, he needed to know. And she planned on telling him. She just needed to take a test to confirm it. Not that she didn't know, this was her job after all. But a test made it official. It made it real.

That was Addison's issue. She didn't know if she was ready for it to be real. She wanted a baby. She always knew she wanted to be a mom. But she was scared. She had just gotten to a good place in her life. She had just let go of the pain of Derek and their divorce, she had just gotten out of the darkness of her attacked, and Mark had her were still new. They were good, and in love but they were still new, newly in a good relationship. A baby would change everything. Not to mention they were still living in a hotel.

"Are you feeling sick again? You look pale, maybe you should stay home today."

"I can't stay home today Mark. Besides, I've missed enough work."

"I'm worried about you Red."

"I'm fine."

"Addie..."

Addison took a deep breath to shallow the rush of nausea she had rushing through her before forcing herself out of bed. "I need to get ready for work."

Mark watched her get ready. Addison could feel his eyes on her, studying her. Studying the color of her cheeks, her balance and movements, anything and everything that would indicate how she was feeling. Which, she was still feeling sick so she knew a lot things would give that away to him, especially since he had gotten to know her so well over the past couple months. Mark knew that when she said she was fine, she wasn't, he knew that she avoided eye contact when she was upset, that she used more hand gestures when she was nervous, red velvet cupcakes and bacon cheese burgers always cheered her up but she would never ask for them because she was too afraid to suggest she stray away from her healthy eating habits. Mark knew her.

Which was another reason Addison knew she had to tell him the truth soon. He figure it out. Hell, he already knew something was up. She would tell him. Soon. She would tell him soon. She promised herself. She just needed time. Time to stop freaking out and stop worrying. Time to work up the strength and courage to face the big step they were about to take. Time to face the change.

[And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends. I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend, I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. And baby I get mystified by how this city screams your name, and baby I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away. I'd never walk Cornelia Street again.]

Addison reminds herself to take deep breaths. Inhale, exhale. Just a couple more minutes with the patient and then she would retreat to somewhere safe to fight through the nausea. And now dizziness. Her focused breathing had been working all morning, but now with the new feeling of dizziness, it was getting hard to fight off. She could feel all the eyes on her, questioning whether she was okay or not. And if she was being honest, she was questioning that herself. But she kept fighting through it, ignoring the concern looks from the patient, her husband, and Alex Karev.

"Do you have anymore questions for me Ms. Davis?"

" ...are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a little headache, that's all."

"Are you sure? You look pale..."

Addison forces a smile. "I'm sure, I appreciate the concern. However, if you don't have anymore questions for me I'll be back in a couple an hour or so to check on you." She felt bad for being short with them, but she needed to get out of the room, away from the eyes staring at her. All she could think about with sitting down and closing her eyes. All she could think about and breathing and her head not spinning. Addison turns to leave, moving too fast and swaying on her feet. Alex rushes to her side.

"Dr. Montgomery?"

"I'm fine Karev."

"Addison."

Then everything was a blur, she could hear Alex repeating her name but she said nothing is response to him. She hold onto him to keep herself steady, it wasn't something she wanted to be but instinctively did it. Everything was a blur until it went completely black.

Addison woke up in a hospital bed. It didn't take her long to come to the realization that she had passed out. She had passed out. Passed out! In front of Alex Karev, in front of half the hospital! What if they know now?! What if Mark knows now?! This wasn't how she wanted to tell him. She didn't know how she wanted to tell him but definitely not like this! She ran her finger through her hair, fighting back the tears forming in her eyes and silently cursing her hormones for making her so sensitive.

"You're wake."

"Who knows?"

Bailey raised her eyebrow at Addison's question. "About you're secret pregnancy? Just me and Karev. And I already told him if he says a word to anyone that I would kick his ass. So you can relax."

Addison slowly nodded. There was the confirmation test she had been waiting for. Then she let the next worry take over her. "It was dehydration...dehydration and exhaustion. Right...? The baby is fine. Right...? I mean, I know this is my specialty, and I know I'm right but I...I need to hear you say it."

Bailey stopped what she was doing and placed the chart on the table next to her, looking at Addison and giving her a soft, sweet smile. "It was dehydration, and exhaustion. And Addison, your baby is perfectly fine."

"Thank you Miranda."

"Now, because of your little stunt out there, you are stuck on bed rest for the rest of the day."

"You can't be serious?!"

"Oh I am. You are staying in that bed. Unless you want me to call Mark Sloan in here, then you can stay in your own bed."

"No!"

"Then stay Montgomery."

"Fine."

Addison sighed, leaning back against the pillows and trying to let relaxation take over her body. But the second she closed her eyes her mind filled with too many thoughts to allow sleep. She was pregnant. Pregnant. Having a baby. It still seemed unreal to her. She felt a ping of guilt through her body when she realized that this baby was only 9 weeks old and she was already failing as a mother. She needed to take better care of herself. Taking better care of herself meant taking better care of the baby.

"I thought I heard Baily say Montgomery."

Addison quickly sat up at the sound of the voice. "Derek?!"

"You okay Addie?"

"I'm fine. Why are you here?"

"Checking on you."

"I told you I'm fine, you can go."

"What happened?" Derek asked as he reached for her chart that was still on the table.

"Derek, stop! I said I was fine! Don't you have patients?!" Addison said, her voice filled with panic. But her words were useless, Derek opened her chart and read through everything. Addison looked away in tears. She braced herself for his anger, the hateful remarks about her and Mark that he used to throw at her. But instead she was met with silence, she felt her bed adjust with extra weight as he sat down next to her.

"Addie?"

She slowly turned her head to meet his gaze. His facial expression was soft, almost sweet. He had the stupid McDreamy smile as he looked at her. "You're pregnant."

"Yeah...I am."

"You don't seem happy..."

"I am, I am. Its just-unexpected. And a lot. And overwhelming. I just got to a good place, and Mark and I are new...and living in a hotel room."

"Does Mark know?"

"No...and me passing out in the hospital isn't exactly how I wanted him to find out."

Derek smiles sweetly at her. "Addie, you know that it doesn't matter how you tell him, he's going to be thrilled."

"You don't know that.."

"I do."

Addison shot him a glare of disbelief.

"Don't give me the Addison look." Derek chuckled.

"We don't have to talk about this. I know Mark and I aren't your favorite topic."

"It wasn't in the past but things have changed."

"Oh really?"

"I've forgiven Mark. And I've forgiven you. I think maybe its time that you forgive yourself."

Addison looks down, trying to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes from Derek's words. He forgave her. He. Forgave. Her. And he was sitting by her bedside comforting her. It was hard not to get emotional from how far they've come. Divorced, but still good friends. Still family. Maybe Derek was right, maybe it was time that she forgave herself. Maybe it was time for her to let go on the past, stop waiting for another punishment for her mistakes, and start letting herself be happy.

"I always assumed you were some kind of game to Mark."

"What?!"

"Mark has never been a relationship guy-"

"Gee thanks Derek."

"Let me finish Addie." Derek slightly chuckled at her sassy interruption before continuing. "He was a ladies mans, and he loved a challenge. I figured you were a challenge to him. Some kind of chase, a game. But the second you needed him, the second things got serious. He stepped up. I've never seen him like that before, how he was with you. So caring, and gentle and concerned. He hasn't made a move on anyone since, not even noticed anyone else. Just you, its just been you for him. Mark loves you Addison. Really loves you. So yeah, when I say he's going to be thrilled to hear about the baby, I do know it. You're it for him Addie. You're the one. So don't be afraid to tell him, it may be overwhelming and scary right now, but its going to work out. You're going to be a great mother. Let yourself be happy."

Addison took a deep, shaky breath, letting the tears stream down her cheeks. By now there was no use fighting them off. It wasn't the first time someone had pointed out how Mark had changed for her, but hearing it from Derek in such a heart felt way hit her in a different way. Derek placed his hand on Addison's and gave it a comforting squeeze, causing her to smile.

"Thank you."

Derek smiled at her, standing back up and kissing her forehead. "You want me to find him and send him in?'

Addison nods.

[Windows flung wide open, autumn air, jacket around my shoulder is yours. We bless the rain on Cornelia Street, memorize the creaks in the floor. Back when we were card sharks, playing games, I thought you were leading me on. I pack my bags, left Cornelia Street, before you even knew I was gone. But then you called, showed your hand, I turned around before I hit the tunnel, sat on the roof, you and I.]

Mark couldn't get the Addison's room fast enough. Derek told him she was perfectly fine and not to worry but he didn't care. All he could think about was that Addison had passed out at work and was now on bed rest for the day. He knew that she hadn't been feeling well, why didn't he try harder? Why didn't he push her more to stay home and rest? He could have helped, he could have done more. Derek said she was okay but he needed to see that she was okay. He needed to know for himself, he needed to know what happened.

"Addie! What happened?! Are you okay?!"

"Mark, I'm fine."

"You passed out, people who are fine don't pass out!"

"I was dehydrated."

"Dehydrated?"

"You should come sit with me."

"That sounds serious..."

"Sitting with your girlfriend sounds serious?"

"Sitting with my girlfriend in a hospital bed that she's in where she's about to tell me something sounds serious."

"Mark just sit down...please?"

Mark sighed, doing as Addison asked and sitting down on the hospital bed she was laying in. His heart raced, afraid of the news she was about to spring on him. Regardless of what he had been told, he was assuming the worst. Which he wasn't quite sure what exactly was the worst, just that he was nervous for whatever she was about to say. Addison could see the fear in his eyes and held onto his hands to comfort him.

"My dehydration was caused from how sick I've been...in the mornings."

"So you are sick?"

"No, well, kind of."

"Is it the flu?"

"No."

"What is it Addie?! Just tell me!"

"I'm pregnant."

"You're..." Mark didn't even finish his sentence. Shock took over his body. Addison waited a moment for a response, she tried desperately to read the look on his face but couldn't. He beyond looked surprised, like there were too many feelings washing over him. She knew that the news was a lot but she honestly was hoping for more then this. More then silence.

"I know that this is unexpected, and we didn't talk about this or plan this. I mean, we just got together and I don't even know if you want kids and we live in a hotel room and we can't raise a baby in a hotel room and-" Addison didn't realize that she had started ranting in a panicked manor until Mark was suddenly holding onto her hands again and kissing them.

"I want this kid. I want our kid. We didn't plan this but this could be great for us. We don't have to stay in a hotel room. We'll get a house. We'll get a big house where we can raise our kid and you can have a closet for all your ridiculous shoes and we could be happy. I get that its your body, your choice and you've been through a lot but fuck Addie, I love you so much, and I want this kid. I want to have a baby with you."

Addison stared into his eyes, taking in every word he said to her before smiling back at him.

"...I want to have a baby with you too."

Mark's face lit up with excitement and happiness. Addison swore she saw tears in his eyes, which made her tear up. Again. (Damn hormones.) He quickly wrapped her arms around her, placing kisses all over her face making her giggle happily.

"A baby! We're having a baby!"

Now Addison couldn't stop smiling. A weight was lifted from her after she finally told Mark, and seeing his reaction. He was thrilled, just like Derek had told her. A new feeling settled within her as she took in the bliss of the moment. She allowed herself to be happy, to be excited. She was having a baby. She was finally going to be a mother. When Mark rested his hand on her stomach, right over where their baby was growing, Addison put her hand on top of his. It was the first time she let herself connect with their unborn baby like this. She made another mental note to herself to be a better pregnant mom, though she wasn't going to be too hard on herself considering she wasn't showing yet.

[I hope I never lose you, hope this never ends. I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend, I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. And baby I get mystified by how this city screams your name. And baby I'm not terrified of if you ever walk away. I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. You hold my hand on the street, walk me back to the apartment, years ago, we were just inside. Barefoot in the kitchen, sacred new beginning that became my religion, listen.]

That night they laid in bed together, their bodies tangled together. Mark made sure that his hand hovered over Addison's stomach. Even though he just found out about the pregnancy earlier that day, he took every chance possible to rub her belly. She would always tease him about it since her stomach was still flat, but she secretly loved it. She loved every moment of Marks excitement and happiness over becoming a father.

Addison replayed Derek's words in her head throughout the day. Forgive yourself. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty about terminating her first pregnancy, their first baby together. Her little Ella. But despite the pain she felt over it, she knew she made the right decision for herself then. She forgave herself. Besides, if she didn't made that choice then, she wouldn't be where she was now. It was a rough road getting there, but she liked where she was. This is her and Marks second chance.

"Our baby is the size of a cherry." Mark said. Addison could hear his smile in his voice.

"I know." She chuckles. "You looked that up?"

"Yeah, I wanna know everything. I'm in this Addison. Every step of the way."

Addison couldn't help but smile. "What else did you learn today?"

"Well, like I said, our baby is the size of a cherry, or large green olive, but no martini's for you. And our baby is certainly working on developing its organs, and that the first trimester can be really hard on the mom. Extreme exhaustion, morning sickness, hormones, constantly having to pee, and increased metabolism which can trigger a decrease in blood sugar."

"Wow, looks like you did your reading."

"Hell yeah I did! I gotta take care of my baby and baby mama."

"Baby mama?!"

Mark smirks and places a kiss on her lips. "Yeah, baby mama."

"Well, baby daddy, your no martini green olive baby wants pizza for dinner."

"What the olive wants, the olive gets."

Addison chuckles. "The olive hasn't even developed organs and its already getting spoiled."

"Hey, gotta start early."

Mark kissed Addison's forehead before he left the comfort of their bed to order the pizza Addison, well olive, was craving. Given that she hadn't had much of an appetite the past couple days due to the morning sickness, he was more then happy to order her food. He planned on feeding her every chance he got, nutrition was very important for her right now and she was going to make sure she got it. He planned on taking good care of his family. He smiled to himself, family. They were a family, he had a family.

"Alright, pizza should be here in about thirty minutes. Can I get you anything else? Tea? There's water by your bed, I stocked up on ginger ale so there's plenty of that for when your not feeling good. I can give you a massage?...What?"

His words trailed off when he noticed Addison gazing at him, the sweetest smile on her lips.

"I just, I love you."

"I love you too Red."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, always."

"Always."

[I hope I never lose you, hope this never ends. I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. And baby I get mystified by how this city screams your name. And baby I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away. I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. I don't wanna lose you, I'd never walk Cornelia Street again. I rent a place on Cornelia Street, I say casually in the car..]