Eleven Years Old

The last day of school.

For the first five of her school years, she'd always looked forward to this day. Now, it brought nothing but dread. For the last month, Kayla had been in denial of what this day meant. Her parents had sat her down and told her, but Kayla refused to believe it. As she walked slowly through the halls to head back to her house, she tried to soak it all in. Because deep down, she knew that no matter how hard she fought against her parents, she'd never convince them to stay.

She made it back to her house forty minutes after the last school bell had rung. Her uncle Bobby's old moving truck, which had been gifted to him by a friend when his truck rental store went out of business, was in the driveway, and her uncle Dean was moving box after box towards the truck. Kayla smiled. Dean was in for a surprise when he got to her bedroom. Fighting her parents on the move, refusing to go with them, and begging to move in with her grandfather hadn't worked, so Kayla had chosen the passive aggressive route of not packing her room up at all.

But it was Kayla that was in for a shock.

When she got to her room, Kayla found two things. On her bed was a duffel bag, still open with what Kayla found to be five complete changes of clothes, toothpaste, her toothbrush, and her hairbrush. Another bag was packed a few books, her Gameboy with all her games, a notebook with a small bag of pens, pencils, crayons, and markers, and some snacks that travelled easily like gummy bears and cereal bars. There were also a few gallon sized Ziploc bags, which Kayla knew from past road trips was for trash.

Jess had seen Kayla walk in and prepared herself for the inevitable explosion. John was in the kitchen with her, helping to make sure she hadn't left anything important behind. She had given Kayla a week to pack up her own room, thinking that if Kayla had control over what went where, she would maybe, just maybe, go along with this a little bit easier. She and Sam both had offered to help, but Kayla refused, saying she wasn't going no matter what anyone said, so there was no reason for her to pack up her room. When Jess didn't hear anything, she excused herself and walked down to what would tomorrow be Kayla's old room.

She was surprised to find Kayla standing in the doorway, looking out at her room without saying a word. Jess laid a cautious hand on her shoulder, and Kayla's only response was to put down her backpack at her door and walk to her bed. Jess cleared her throat and spoke as calmly as she could.

"You still have time to look through your boxes if there's anything I packed that you're gonna want for the trip up there."

Kayla nodded and whispered, "Okay."

Jess frowned. "Kay…"

"I won't fight it anymore, Mom. Just give me a few minutes alone, please."

Jess nodded. She wondered if she was just imagining it, or if there really was a barely audible crack in Kayla's voice as she said it. She turned to leave, and could hear a car driving up in the driveway. Sam was back from the car dealership, where he'd gone with Bobby to sell her car so they'd have one less vehicle to worry about transporting to their new house. Two-and-a-half year old Mary was babbling away to someone, likely Dean, and Jess hoped that Mary would be happier during the trip than her sister was at the moment.

Kayla dug around in her backpack for something her parents didn't know she kept. It was a photo, taken a year earlier, at Mary's first birthday party. It was the only photo she had of everyone. Her parents were in it, Mary, Dean, Bobby, and her grandparents. To Kayla, that photo represented everything that was important in her life. Now, because she was only eleven and didn't seem to have any choice in the matter at all, she was being asked to give up most of them just so her father could have a better job.

It was so unfair to Kayla. Things were just starting to feel normal again after losing her grandmother the year before. It was getting less and less painful to see her grandmother's old house, only a few doors down from the one they were in now, occupied by the family that lived there. Kayla wasn't picking up the phone to call her grandmother anymore when she had things to talk about that she didn't want to discuss with her mother.

Well, not much, anyway.

But everything was changing again. Exactly a month earlier, her parents had sat her down and said they had something to talk to her about. They'd said all the familiar things and the unfamiliar ones. We need you to listen. Hear us out. Be a big girl about this, please, because Mommy and I are going to need your help. We'll need you to help with Mary, do a few more chores than usual for a while, but we'll pay you back by spending time doing things you want to do once we get settled.

None of that mattered to Kayla. She wasn't leaving her family. She wasn't leaving Bobby, Dean, or her grandfather.

But again, she didn't get a choice. She didn't seem to ever get a choice over anything that truly mattered. To Kayla, while her father's job was important, it wasn't as important as the family was. If her father for some reason didn't have a job, she knew that her grandfather and uncles would help them. They'd help them get through until Sam found another job. But Sam hadn't lost his job. He'd applied for this one because, according to him, it was a better one and would give them all a better life.

Whatever that meant.

A knock at the door got no response from Kayla. She knew even without looking up that it was her father, and that he was watching her carefully and wondering what to say. He was wondering what he could say or do to make this better, and Kayla wished he would just stop. She knew it was unfair to him for her to be so angry with him. He was excited about his new job, and her hurt and anger was making it harder for him to enjoy it. But she couldn't help it. She felt how she felt, and she couldn't just stop to make him feel better.

"What are you looking at?" Sam asked.

Kayla, afraid to answer him without crying, just flipped the picture over and showed it to him.

"Where'd you get this?" Sam asked with a smile. He remembered the day well, and it was one of the happiest memories he had of the last year.

"I made a copy of it." Kayla said.

"I see." Sam said awkwardly. He handed the photo back to Kayla, and there was a long, awkward silence between them. "How was school?"

"Okay."

"I can't believe you start seventh grade next year." Sam said disbelievingly. "Seems like just yesterday mom and I were dropping you off at kindergarten."

Kayla just nodded. She still didn't trust herself to say anything. Sam sighed and took Kayla's hand.

"I'm sorry, Bug. I know this is hard for you. Please believe me when I say I get how hard this is. But I'm just asking you to give this a chance."

Kayla took a couple of the deep breaths she had learned from her mother years earlier before answering. She didn't want to hurt her father, but she had to know.

"I'm not trying to start an argument with you. Okay? It's a real question."

Sam nodded. "Okay. What question?"

"And what if I give it a chance and I still don't like it?" Kayla asked. "I don't have any friends or anything over there. We're a long way away from anything we know. What happens if I really do give it a chance and I don't feel happy over there?"

"I'll make you a deal. If you give it a real shot, really try and make some friends, and you honestly can't, if you still feel miserable at the end of the year, then I'll let you come home and spend every Christmas break and summer with your grandpa and uncles."

A shocked Kayla's mouth fell open. "Really?"

"I'll have to check with them, and check with your mom, but I don't think anyone will have a problem with it."

Kayla sniffed. The tears were becoming harder to fight. "It's May now. School doesn't start until September. Can you promise we'll come back and visit before school starts?"

"I don't know if I'll be able to come with you, but yes, I'll send you back for at least a long weekend."

"You promise you won't get mad on the way up there if I start crying again?" Kayla said. "I'll try not to…"

"Don't. You don't have to try and hide how you feel from me, honey. I want you to tell me when you're feeling upset or mad."

"But I don't like making you feel bad."

"You let me worry about how I feel. I'm your dad. It's my job to worry about you too." Sam said. "If you need to cry, it's okay."

Kayla nodded. "Okay."

"Hey. We're gonna take our time to get there. And I promise we'll stop and do at least one fun thing a day. Deal?"

"Deal."

"I love you, Bug. You know that?"

"Yeah I know. I love you too."

"Come on, Bug. Let's go." Sam said. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you look up things for us to do while we're in the way?"

Kayla finally smiled. Maybe everything would be okay. "Okay."

"Kay'a!"

"Hey, Mary." Kayla said.

"We go bye-bye! Kay'a sit wif me?"

"Yeah. I'll sit with you. Let's go."

Two weeks passed, and as much as Kayla tried, she still had a hard time adjusting. Even though John and Dean were travelling with them, she cried in the car at the thought of them leaving. She called Bobby through every day of their journey, crying when she hung up the phone with him. More than once, Sam caught her crying quietly in the backseat. She wasn't sure how to approach the children on their street. Most of her friends in South Dakota had been her friends since they were all in preschool together. Not knowing what else to do, Sam asked his coworkers for help and came up with an idea. He put it into action when he got home from work one afternoon.

"Hey, Kay. Come here, honey."

"Coming!" Kayla called from down the hall. "I'm changing Mary!"

Sam hung his jacket up on the door and waited patiently. Mary came charging out of her bedroom and crashed into her father just as Kayla came out behind her.

"Whoa! Where'd this rocket ship come from?" Sam asked as he scooped up Mary.

Mary giggled ferociously. "'m not a rocket ship, Daddy! You silly!"

"My goodness, that was you?" Sam asked, tickling the squirming Mary.

"That was me!"

"Well I think I'll have to put something on your feet to slow you down. What do you think?"

"No!" Mary said.

Sam chuckled. "Come on. Give me a kiss."

Mary quickly kissed Sam's cheek and squirmed enough that he put her down. Kayla threw out Mary's dirty diaper and came back to her father, wondering what he could want.

"Get your jacket. I have a surprise for you."

"Okay. What about dinner?"

"We'll get some dinner before we get where we're going." Sam said. "Your mom knows what's going on."

"It's just us?" Kayla asked, surprised.

"Yeah. You okay with that?"

Kayla smiled. "Yeah."

Sam took Kayla to a Mexican restaurant that he'd spotted their first night there. The two of them made friends with the waitress, and it was getting dark by the time that they left.

"That was great, Dad. Thanks."

"I'm glad you liked it. But the night's not over." Sam said with a grin.

"What? There's more?"

"Yep. Come on."

Five minutes later, they were pulling up to the outskirts of a park. Kayla's mouth dropped. The park was beautiful. It was meticulously kept, the grass cut almost so that every blade was exactly the same length. The playground equipment was painted in bright oranges and greens and blues and purples and was just overall very pleasant to look at. There was equipment for kids of all ages, and Kayla even saw a few kids her own age. There was a hiking trail, a basketball court, picnic benches, and a place to park bicycles.

"I know you're a little old for a playground, but…"

Kayla shocked her father by grabbing his neck and squeezing it. "This is great, Dad."

"Yeah?"

"You bet. Come on, let's go."

"Go where?"

"Let's race."

As he watched Kayla play and smile for the first time since arriving, Sam finally felt at peace about moving. He missed his brother and father and Bobby, but for now, he was home.