Meet the Sandvich
"Arise Mortal!" A tall and annoying wizard yelled as he swung his staff on the writer of laziness.
"Oww! What was that for, you dramatic pig!" The writer responded as he rubbed his head to ease the pain.
"I am no mere mortal swine, and tis Nolan's birthday again, so make haste with your poor tasting literature." Merasmus explained with a calendar at hand.
"Huh, so it is. Man, time flies fast when your lazy, rig-Oww." The writer screamed as he received another whack, courtesy of the ancient wizard.
"Work now mortal, for Merasmus cannot wait much longer for his debut."
"Alright, alright, just stop with the hitting already."
buzzsaw935: Thanks for your input, I really appreciate how you have an idea for nearly all the students (At least the ones I know of)
Perseus12: Bleh, looks like I can return the favor in the most unfortunate way.
Treefrogger: Who told you that! Nah I'm kidding, I know I take forever.
Guest: Oh, I didn't know this was a JoJo meme until I saw the comments on the 'Attack on Heavy' video. I just thought you were being aggressively positive.
Lauren Thorn: Well if you know the order I'm going with, it's gonna take a couple years.
Tentelite: I airblast your plead, because I want to do these in order.
ohkyoungsun: plz wait (a lot). Also while there are moments, I question your sanity when you want the 'wholesome ones'. Also also, SLOW! I make snails look like hawks and hawks like Apollo 10 and you want me to go slow? Go ask the wizard.
MUILucario: YOU LIE, YOU LIE (but thank you)
Obsidian Nova Arc: Your welcome, but Medic ain't next
Anon: How long do you think you can wait, cause I think it might be faster if someone else had various series react to these videos.
For now let's begin
The video starts with an inside view of a fridge that has a sandwich cut in two, which consists of ham, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and topped with a pimento-stuffed olive pinned by a toothpick. The appetizing sandwich is on a plate and near a couple bottles of beer labeled 'Red Shed'.
"What is this?" Weiss asked, already annoyed at the trivial thought of having to look at the inside of the fridge, regardless of how Ruby, Nora, Penny, and to a lesser extent Jaune were fascinated at the sight.
"I think it's about that sandwich right there." Coco answered half-jokingly as she had a coy smile on her face.
"A sandwich? Why are we watching a sandwich?" Blake questioned with a slightly intrigued eyebrow raised on her otherwise flat face.
"I got it! It's a fake out to mislead us to think it's about a sandwich, so when one of those guys show up to eat it, that's who it will be about." Sun surmised with definite confidence, which naturally got the results of convincing the more naive and credulous of their sizable group such as Ruby, Velvet, and Nora, as well as not convince the more straight lace like Weiss, Neptune, and Ciel, while those in the middle like Yang, Coco, and Sage were of neutral opinion
"But three of the remaining four don't really look like they would be much interested in a rudimentary meal and the Pyro is too enigmatic to really know what it would like." Weiss reasoned as she can tell that the Spy would be too sophisticated to eat something so gauche, the Sniper is an obvious outdoors man who would prefer something much less perishable, and the Medic seems like the type who would not be satisfied with a meal so simple.
"That's why this video will be about the Pyro, cause you know…" Sun paused as he waved his hand around his face. "So it will have the Pyro remove their mask to eat the sandwich, showing us who or what it is and talk like the other five guys we seen." Sun surmised with a smug grin. "I'm so smart." The monkey faunus added in, much to the enjoyment of the realist among them.
"You sure about that?" Blake asked with a raised eyebrow and a little smirk.
"Yep." Sun reply with his bare chest high and puffed up to show his trust on his thoughts as the video continues.
The video then shows the 'Meet the Sandvich' title card with a white and red plaid background that features one-half of the aforementioned sandvich next to three bullets, as well as 'OMNOMNOM' on the copyright over the usual.
"And now I take it back." Sun said as his exposed chest fell back down.
"You sure, cause I wanna hear more from the smart guy." Blake teased, much to the surprise of her teammates, but they calmed down when two of them figured that Blake can't resist an opportunity like that, while a blond thought of more physical reasons for her more playful nature.
"Okay, okay, I get it, I was wrong. Even the greatest get something wrong once in a while." Sun defended himself as he rubbed the back of his head.
"But that doesn't explain why we're watching a simple sandwich." Weiss
"Sandvich, Weiss, sandvich." Ruby corrected the heiress with a mocking tone, earning a slight glare from Weiss that shut her cookie hole, though she still had a small smile.
"Why is it called that anyways?" Pyrrha wondered, as while a v is similar to a w, it's still strange to see a word spelled differently.
"Difference in dialect maybe? It's impressive enough that we all speak almost the same, so it's not hard to see some hiccups." Sage mused as he and everyone else wondered how they managed to get lucky enough to be met with similar looking people, but also those who speak a language apparently very similar to their own.
The view then change back to the inside view of the fridge, where the sounds of a Heavy groaning in a mixture of hunger and exhaustion.
"What's that noise?" Jaune asked, a bit terrified as he unknowingly pushed back into Pyrrha, who enjoyed the contact with him even if it was unintentional.
"I don't know, but it's definitely hungry." Neptune said, also nervous at whatever is making those sounds.
"It also does sound like it's tired." Velvet added as she can't help but feel sympathy for the unknown being.
"Sounds a lot like Nora before breakfast." Ren noted, which got Jaune and Pyrrha to unfortunately remember how Nora would get when she's starving in the morning.
"Nah, I would have been a lot more louder than that." Nora commented, which her team can definitely agree to.
"Yeah, there he is!" A Scout, likely BLU, said from outside the fridge.
"He?" Velvet questioned, even if eight of the nine mercenaries are definitely male.
"It's gotta be the Pyro." Sun said as he tried another attempt at investigating.
"No way, it be stupid of them to reveal something like that for a sandwich video, plus we didn't hear any mumbles with that groaning." Neptune pointed out, which git the monkey man to think a bit before quickly backing down.
"Maybe it just took off that mask like I would if I were it." Coco said as she looked a bit repelled at the thought of the mercenary's mask.
"It would be nice foreshadowing, but what if the Pyro really like wearing it around? Did you guys ever see it unmasked." Scarlett asked as he remember her team being the first to see those guys.
"Unfortunately, no." Yatsu answered for his leader, who was busy thinking of the rather looks of the mercs.
"At least we can tell it's nyot the Scout, not that he would be capable of doing such deep noises." Neon commented as everyone more or less agreed.
"You! Stop right where you are, that is an order! He's getting away! Do not let him get to the re-" A Soldier, also possibly BLU, demanded to someone before it ran towards the fridge, slighting shaking the beer before the door opened to reveal that it was the Heavy.
"Heavy!? I mean it makes sense, but still." Flint reacted with surprise and disappointment at the small reveal.
"We shouldn't have set our expectations high for a clearly intended joke video." Ciel remarked as she clearly saw the changed copyright, a hint that clearly showed that this would simply be filler.
"But hey, at least we can see more of what the Heavy can do." Ruby said as she still feels a little blue barreled from the lack of action in the 'Meet the Heavy' video.
"Are we just going to ignore how big the Heavy's hand is?" Blake asked, only to be answer with various no's.
"D-don't do it, pal!" The scout shakily asked as the Heavy chuckled in a bit of a sinister way as he grabs one half of the sandvich with his giant hands.
"Do. Not. Do it!" The Soldier ordered with emphasis after the Heavy shut the fridge door, but it was for naught as the Heavy immediately chowed down on his most favorite snack with an "Om nom nom nom...".
"Why are they so scared of him eating half a sandwich?" Sage pondered as worst case scenario, the Heavy would be less hungry.
"Perhaps the sandwich is some sort of experiment that would greatly change the Heavy in a way that would highly unfortunate." Penny theorized as the tone's of both Scout and Soldier do indicate something of great consquence.
"If that's true, then I wanna eat that sandvich." Nora stated as she licked her mouth in craving something non-pancakey, much to the fear of the rest of team JNPR and RWBY.
"H-h-hey, let's just calm down here, you listening?" The Scout asked as the Soldier let out an "Oohhhhhhh, hell...".
"J-j-just…OH GOD! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GO-" Scout yelled out after failing to reason with the giant merc as Heavy chuckled a bit before charging in with a yell to bring pain without end.
"Ooh, looks your right about that sandvich, Penny." Yang said as she listen to the beatings the Heavy is bringing.
"Happy to be of assistance, future sister." Penny replied cheerfully, though Yang inwardly flinched at being called that.
"Ahahahaha!" The Heavy yelled heartily as he hit the two other mercenaries hard enough to pop open the fridge door and cause one of the Red Shed beers to fall over.
"Wow, that is one powerful sandvich right there." Ruby voiced in awe, with a thought in what it be like if she ate that sandvich. Or better yet cookies and strawberries that works like the sandvich.
"Yes, but whose to say it was from the sandvich?" Yatsu mused, as he knows that the Heavy can definitely hit that hard, sandvich or not.
"My blood! H-he punched out all my blood!" The Scout yelled out as the sound of liquid spilling on the floor is heard.
"Eeugh, that just ruined my appetite." Fox said as he put down a piece of meat pie he was secretly eating during the videos, only to regret when he heard the crunches while chewing.
"Hold on, I think that was just the beer from the fallen bottle." Scarlett claimed as he did find the spilling sound during the falling bottle a little coincidental.
"Really, cause it sounds a lot like blood." Yang retorted
"How do you what dripping blood sounds like?" Scarlett questioned the brawler, a bit careful about Yang supposed knowledge of blood, since grimm don't exactly bleed.
"Cause it's a liquid." Yang simply replied as if that's all she needs to say.
"That doesn't answer my previous question." Scarlett pointed out, only for Yang to just turn her head back in response, prompting the redhead to just drop it.
"Ow, Ow ow ow ow! Ouch, ouch! Ahhh… You call that breaking my spine? You RED team ladies wouldn't know how to break a spine if-" The Blu Soldier insulted while the beatings continued as if the Heavy had accidentally became a chiropractor before getting interrupted a much more gruesome snap occurred that slammed the fridge door down and made another beer bottle fall.
"Ah dude, how much can these guys take?" Neptune asked as he winced at the snap he heard, so it was kinda intimidating to hear Soldier brush it off.
"I don't know but they are hardcore." Sun responded with a bit of envy and fear to their determination.
"Or maybe the Soldier just really stubborn." Weiss pointed out though her body shaking a bit didn't help.
"AUGHHH! MY SPINE!" The Soldier yelled out in anguish as the door opened again to a blood splatter on the floors as Heavy kept punching while Scout shrieked at the top of his lungs.
While the fixed view has made sure that no one would see anything graphic, the sounds and blood they do see really got their imagination running in a negative way, in a way that will leave them staring straight up will trying to sleep.
"Now I want that sandvich." Nora stated with heavy emphasis, putting even the most calm of them to be very unease at the thought.
"She must never get her hands on it." Ren said to everyone else as they can not truly imagine how dangerous things could get if Nora ate that sandvich.
"Nom nom nom..." Heavy chewed his sandvich as he stood atop a familiar location before taking another bite. "nom nom... mmmm.. nom." The Heavy continued as the view turned to show it was the exact same battle from the 'Meet the Heavy' video.
"Wow. To be that terrifying while eating a simple sandwich is… impressive, now if you all excuse me I have to go…breath outside…for a minute." Jaune said with a bit of difficulty as he went out the doors with a neutral yet ruffled look.
"Yeah, me too." Flint replied as he went to do the same, slowly followed by everyone else except Nora and Yang who kept eating as they replay the carnage of Heavy's sandvich.
Well that's it for now, see you fellas at next Halloween, or maybe even the start of fall if I get around to it.
NO, SOONER!
Okay, okay sooner, just don't hit me again.