Title: Meeting in a Rose Garden

Summary: Mac reconnects with someone she knew in law school. (West Wing Crossover) (Mac/Other, Mac/Harm friendship)

Note: Part of Sam & Lisa's conversation is directly from The West Wing.

Part Ten

"Are you going to eat that pickle?"

Mac rolled her eyes before picking it up and dropping it directly on to his sandwich. "One of these days you're going to remember to order an extra one."

He grinned and took a bite from the enormous pickle spear. "Why would I do that when you always give me yours?"

"Well in that case..." She reached across the desk for the pickle, and he laughed and held it just out of reach.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted the laughter, and they both looked to the door. Harm was standing there. He wasn't quite scowling, but he looked mildly annoyed.

"Sorry to interrupt."

Sam dropped the pickle back onto her paper wrapper and wiped his hands on a napkin. He was careful not to look at her, not wanting to know if she looked different when talking to him.

"It's fine, we're just having lunch. What's up?" She glanced at Sam, and then back to Harm. He had a piece of paper in his hand and waved it.

"The Admiral wants to see me. Were you summoned too?"

She frowned and shook her head. "No. I was in the elevator with him earlier and he didn't say anything to me. Are you in trouble?"

"I hope not." He shrugged. "Oh well. He stepped out for lunch, so I thought I'd ask. Guess it'll have to wait till he gets back. Thanks Mac."

He left without acknowledging Sam, which was fine since Sam had never acknowledged him. She rolled her eyes and leaned back into her chair. Things we're still tense between the three of them since the Christmas Eve kiss. Sam still felt threatened by Harm, and she and Harm were awkward around one another. It was frustrating, but she knew it would just take time. At least she hoped it would just take time.

"Why does he call you Mac?"

She looked up, surprised at the question. And then she realized that she had introduced herself as Sarah to him & his friends. It was weird - almost as if she were two different people. In this building and with her coworkers, she was Mac. With him, his friends, and her friends that weren't in the military, she was Sarah. "It's a nickname. Short for MacKenzie."

He nodded. "Would you prefer I call you that?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No. I prefer Sarah. When I first came to JAG, I introduced myself as Mac. I thought that more people would take me more seriously as a Marine with a less feminine name. By the time I figured out these were good people who took me seriously regardless, they were all calling me Mac. So, that's who I am to them now." She reached across the desk for one of his potato chips. "I'm glad we were able to have lunch today. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." And he had. Desperately. But, the State of the Union was two weeks away, and they were all working day and night trying to figure out what to put in the damned thing. "It's always a big job, but with the censure and the MS, there's just so much on the line this year."

"I'm not complaining, Sam. I know this is a big thing. I'm just saying I've missed you."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry - that sounded defensive. I just..." He sighed. "I don't know. I've wanted to call when I leave the office and see if I could stop by if you're still awake. But then I started thinking if I do that, you'll think I'm only interested in a booty call."

She had taken the wrong moment to sip her iced tea and began to cough. He waited for her to calm down and raised his eyebrows. "Wow. I didn't know thirty-something White House staffers even knew what a booty call was." She grinned and took another sip of her tea. "I'd love it if you stopped by after work. We've barely seen each other since we got back from Charleston, and a late-night visit is better than nothing." Her cheeks reddened and she looked down at the remnants of her sandwich. Telling him that was mortifying. It made her feel clingy and desperate.

"Sarah." His voice was low and she looked up. "Why haven't you said anything? I would have been coming over every night if I knew you were okay with that."

"I feel needy saying it. And a little... I don't know. A little pathetic." She was quiet for a long moment and then cleared her throat. "Any way, you're one to talk. You were afraid to tell me that you wanted to come over."

"I didn't want you to hear 'late night visit' and think that all I care about is sex." He shook his head. "This is crazy. We've been together for five months and we love each other. We should be able to make these simple requests without feeling self-conscious."

She nodded. "You're right. So... do you want to come over tonight when you leave the White House?"

Sam grinned. "Absolutely."

"You heading out?"

Mac looked up and saw Harm leaning against her door frame. She nodded. "I am. I have a meeting at Quantico. I'm going to try and beat the traffic." She slid a few more files and a legal pad into her briefcase. "What did the Admiral want?"

Harm stepped into the office and rolled his eyes. "He wants me to do Sydney Walden of all people a favor."

Her eyes widened and she pushed the briefcase aside and leaned against the desk. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He sat down in one of her chairs - the one Sam had been in earlier - and sighed. "She asked if I could give her niece private flight instruction. So, she called the Admiral and asked him to ask me."

"Does her niece actually want to learn to fly, or was this a convenient way to start talking to him again?"

He shrugged. "Who knows. I'm meeting with her on Saturday, and I plan on asking that very question. I have no problem teaching someone how to fly, but I don't want to waste my time if she has no actual desire to learn."

"I don't blame you." She shifted and went back to her briefcase.

"I'm sorry for interrupting today. The night Sam came over to punch me I told him I would stop interfering, and I meant it."

The vulnerability in his voice made her go still for a moment. She then turned to face him and swallowed. "You're my friend and my colleague, Harm. Sam's going to have to get used to you eventually."

"Will he?"

She took a deep breath. "I really hope so."

It was just after eleven when there was a knock on her door. She stood from the couch and went to open it. Sam stood on the other side, looking disheveled and tired. She offered him a smile, and held the door open wider for him. "Now see; no one would ever accuse you of only wanting sex when you look that tired."

He snorted, and came inside. His suit jacket was off, his sleeves were rolled up, and his tie had been loosened. "It's been one hell of a day."

She made a sympathetic noise and leaned against the counter. "Want tea? Or something to eat? I think I have some leftover Chinese food."

He shook his head. "I'm fine. I don't think I'll want pizza again for a while after this though." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the couch. She sat next to him, and pulled a pillow into her lap. He turned to face her and bit his lower lip. "I need to talk to you about something."

She frowned. He sounded tense, and she was concerned. "Okay." She pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged.

He moved his hand to her thigh and tapped his fingers over the tiny pink flannel hearts. "I told you I was engaged once, right?" She nodded, and he began moving a finger from heart to heart. "She, her name is Lisa, is a writer for Vanity Fair. Apparently, Vanity Fair wants to do a profile piece on me, and she's going to write it."

They hadn't talked about his ex that much, but she knew they had been together when he started working on the then governor's campaign. And it had ended when he decided to take a position in the Bartlet Administration instead of going back to New York. She knew he hadn't dated much or been with many women - and until now, there hadn't been anyone serious since Lisa. The President's re-election campaign had started, and it made perfect sense that a women's magazine would want to do a piece on one of President Bartlet's young staffers. Especially since everyone was still talking about the MS and his overall health. She understood instantly that showcasing the youthful members of his team was a great idea, and of course she understood why Vanity Fair and the White House thought that women would want to read about Sam. Mac tried to smile, but she felt wary.

"Are you nervous about seeing her?"

He was quiet for a long moment. "I wouldn't say I'm nervous. I just don't want to. We haven't talked since we broke up, and the breakup wasn't amicable. It all just feels uncomfortable. I don't like the fact that she's going to follow me around for a couple of weeks in order to write the article." He would have hated the idea of the article no matter who was writing it, but he really hated the thought of an article about him written by her. She had once known him better than anyone, and he felt it was just too personal. And a tad unethical.

Mac moved her legs, causing his hand to drop away. She thought of the issue of Vanity Fair in her gym bag, and made a mental note to see if there was a photo of this woman - Lisa - on any of the bylines. She wasn't comfortable with this; with him spending so much time with the woman he had once planned on marrying. But what could she do? What could she say? Nothing. She couldn't do or say anything. Not when she went to work every single day and worked closely with Harm.

"Sarah?"

She turned at the sound of her name and forced a smile. "Sorry. My mind must have wondered for a second."

"Are you okay with this?"

She could almost feel the tug of war happening in her brain. The rational side that knew she could talk to him about her insecurities was battling with the side of her that had been taught not to make a fuss. It was nice of him to ask, but she didn't have a choice. What could she say? She couldn't tell him no, she wasn't okay with this, and have him go to his boss and say he couldn't do this article because his girlfriend was insecure. She swallowed and answered as honestly as she could. "I don't know."

He studied her, and reached out to stroke her hair. She was insecure and he hated contributing to that. Her eyes met his and he gave her a soft smile. "It's okay if you're bothered by it. Especially considering how I've acted about Harm."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not crazy about the idea."

"Believe me, I'm not either." He shifted closer to her. "There aren't any lingering feelings or any regrets on my end. But since you told me about Christmas, and since she's going to be following me around for two weeks, I thought you deserved to know."

"No lingering feelings?"

He shook his head. "None. We're different people who wanted drastically different things. I hope she's happy, but that's about it."

She stared at him for a while and then jumped off the couch. "God, it's late. I should really be getting to bed."

Sam reached for her hand and tugged her to his lap. "When you asked me to come over, I had hoped you were implying that I should spend the night. Is that what you want or do you want me to go?"

She chewed on her bottom lip. "What about a change of clothes for work tomorrow? Will you have time to go home before you go in?"

"I'll get up a little earlier than usual. I don't mind." She looked tense, and he stroked her cheek and kissed her gently. "Don't shut me out, Sarah."

"I'm trying. I promise I am. But this kind of relationship is so unfamiliar to me. I'm not used to..." she trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. Not used to a man treating her like this? Being this honest with her? Valuing her opinions and her feelings. She shrugged. "I don't know."

He had a general idea of where the sentence had been heading and nodded. She didn't need to say it. "Mind if I take a shower before bed?"

She let out another breath and shook her head. "Of course not." She shifted off of his lap and stood.

He stood and reached for her. He moved his lips to the spot behind her ear that almost always resulted in the sexiest purring sound he had ever heard and moved to her collarbone. "Want to join me?"

She tilted her head to give him easier access and moaned a low "Yes."

Once in the bathroom she moved her hands to the knot in his tie and undid it. She had never told him this, but the loosened tie and unfastened buttons at his collar was such a turn on for her. She hung the silk tie over the bathroom door knob and grinned as he started on his shirt, and then on the buttons of her pajama top. She wore nothing underneath, and his eyes clouded with lust. "You are just so dammed beautiful."

She ran her hands over his perfectly sculpted chest and smiled. "So are you." They made quick work of the rest of their clothes, and she walked backward into the shower. He followed her and pulled the glass door shut, letting the small shower and the room fill with steam.

"Good morning!"

Harm glanced at his partner, and raised an eyebrow. She was entirely too cheerful this morning. "Good morning." His greeting was less enthusiastic as he tried not to picture why she was in such a good mood this morning. "Good weekend?"

She bit back a smile. The night Sam had come over after work had apparently been a significant turning point. He had been over every night since, and he had actually was able to take some time off and spent almost all of Sunday with her. "Not bad. Yours?"

He shrugged. "I met Sydney Walden's niece Saturday." He briefly thought of the young woman. Well, younger than him anyway. She was 28, and an ER nurse at George Washington hospital. And the two hours he had spent with her made him long for the days of dealing with the cocky young pilots on aircraft carriers. They at least knew how to follow instructions.

Her eyes widened and she sat down her coffee mug. "Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten about that. So, was it a ruse? Or does she actually want to fly?"

Harm groaned. "Unfortunately, she actually wants to fly. Apparently, it's a life-long dream. And she's a giant pain in the ass." Mac laughed and he couldn't help but soften at the sound. She laughed so much these days. And smiled more. And a part of him hated that he wasn't the one eliciting this level of happiness from her. "Maybe you should talk to her. You know, tell her about broken fuel lines and having to eject in Russia."

She winced at the memories and shook her head. "I'm going to pass on reliving those memories. Maybe she'll get better after a few lessons."

He shook his head. "I doubt it. I've never met anyone more strong-willed." Mac raised an eyebrow and he rolled his eyes. "I'm docile & obedient compared to her."

She grinned and sipped her coffee. "Did she say anything about Sydney and the Admiral?"

He shrugged. "Not really. Not in any way that was interesting at least. I think she just wants to fly. But she makes me wish I wasn't teaching her in Sarah."

Mac picked up the remote and muted the TV. It had been one hell of a speech, and she was so proud of Sam. The last couple of weeks had been chaotic, and they had only seen each other when he had dropped by near midnight – and it got closer and closer to midnight the closer they got to the speech. Most nights he had been too exhausted for anything more than a quick shower before curling up in bed beside her, but those nights were nice too. She had told him multiple times that he didn't have to come over every night when he was this tired, but he would always shrug and say he slept better when he was next to her.

She sat the remote next to her on the couch, and watched the silenced talking heads for a moment before standing and going to the kitchen to pick up the phone. She dialed his number, and wasn't surprised that it went straight to voicemail. "Hey handsome. The speech was amazing. You and Toby did such a good job. Anyway. I'm proud of you and I love you." She hung up and sat the phone back on the cradle. She wondered if his ex was with him at that very moment. She had found a photo of her in an issue of the magazine, and had been surprised. She was a pretty blonde, with a trendy haircut and stylish clothes. She had been surprised because Sam obviously didn't have a type. She knew the call girl had been a brunette, Mallory had striking red hair, and Lisa was a blonde. None of the women had similar professions or ran in similar social circles. It had been startling to realize that superficially she had more in common with the call girl than the other two – dark hair, lawyer, scandalous past…

He had invited her to the State of the Union after party, but she had declined. This was a big night, but it was also a working night. Now she was wishing she had gone. She had this morbid desire to see Sam with his ex. She wondered if he would reach for her out of habit. Would he place his hand on the small of her back? Would he brush the hair off of her face? Would being close to her after so long make him regret their break up?

She shook her head, ridding herself of those thoughts. She had to do something. It was doubtful he'd stop by tonight – she knew the party would go late, and the staff would all stay together while they waited for the poll numbers to come in. She had to do something – she couldn't just sit around feeling this pathetic. If Sam went back to his ex, she would survive. She would be heartbroken, but she would be okay.

Sam watched Lisa move around his office, looking at the framed photos and certificates. She had handled this evening much better than he had. She had been friendly, but professional. And he was embarrassed at how he had shut her down so frequently. Why had he done that? Why had he acted this way? He couldn't understand his own behavior.

"C.J. asked me a couple of weeks ago if the reason we didn't get married is because your name would be Sherborne-Seaborn."

She gave him a look he had once been so familiar with. It was the look she gave him when he had said or done something particularly idiotic. "That's exactly why we didn't get married."

He was quiet for a moment. "Why didn't we get married?"

She perched herself on the edge of his desk and studied him. "Why do you think?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because I don't know what the cool restaurant is, and I don't care. When I get hungry, I just want to eat. And I don't know where the Tommy Hilfiger party is, and I don't know what to do once I get there.

"You're full of crap."

He shook his head. "I was never cool enough for you."

"You're full of crap, and you think too little of me, and I didn't leave you. You left me, and you did it to do this." She cocked her head to the side. "What's this about, Sam?"

He collapsed in one of the chairs in front of his desk. He was so tired. "I don't know." He was quiet, and dropped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm seeing someone."

Lisa moved to the chair beside his and looked at him. "I know." She was quiet for a while. "I am too."

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Does he go to the Tommy Hilfiger parties with you?"

She nodded. "He does. And he knows about the cool restaurants before I do." She flicked a speck of something off of her black jacket. "What about her? Is she okay with your insane schedule? Does she like to sail and hike and watch football all day on Sunday?"

He couldn't help but smile. "She doesn't sail, but she didn't grow up on the coast. She's willing to go once the weather warms up, though. She does like to hike, and likes football."

"Are you happy?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Good." She took a deep breath and looked at him. "Just because you and I didn't work doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It doesn't mean it won't work this time, if that's what you're afraid of."

And there it was. That was why he didn't want to see her, didn't want to participate in this article. They may not have been compatible as a couple, but she knew him and his insecurities better than anyone. "I am afraid, though. What if I'm not enough? I worked long hours when we were first together, and you were okay with it. What if she's okay with it now, but eventually she starts to hate it as much as you did?"

She shrugged. "Then you make a change. Either the job, or the relationship. It is what it is, Sam." She stood and picked up her bag. "I better go. But I'll pass my notes on to someone else to finish the piece. I'm sure they'll call you in a couple of days to set up a time to meet."

"Don't do that." He stood too. "I'm sorry for being such an asshole tonight. You should do the piece. I promise I'll cooperate fully."

Lisa's eyes widened, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Really?" He nodded. "Thanks, Sam." She glanced at her watch and then back at him. "Want to grab a drink before I head back to my hotel?"

He shook his head. "No thanks. There's someone I need to get home to."

End Part 10